Category: Appreciation

Remember when we were little and we proudly declared, "I'm gonna do something important when I grow up!"

Most of us lost that certainty and we toned it down as the years went by. Besides, our definition of "important" changed–and that's a good thing.

Some people have a mental pecking order when it comes to jobs. Sorry to tell you, but that's an outdated concept.

Sometimes a job is much more than it seems

Mitzi works in a child care center. She earns little more than minimum wage, but she loves kids.

Some days the babies cry all day and toddlers cling. On those days sometimes she would like to turn around, walk out the door and never come back.

But she stays, knowing she's "security" for the little ones in her charge.

The moms and dads love her because it's plain to see that Mitzi loves their children. They often confide in her because she always lets them talk. What's more, she takes time to listen. Mitzi raised three children of her own, so she often passes on practical tips from her own parenting.

More than one young mom has said to her, "I don't know what I'd do without you, Mitzi. I'm just flying by the seat of my pants as a mom and I don't have anyone else to ask. You are a lifesaver!"

George is "just a janitor" in a middle school.

He has a small cubbyhole "office" where he eats his sack lunch and puts his feet up between chores.

Each year at the beginning of the school year he makes sure to spread the word to students just coming in that he wants to be helpful. He lets everyone know it's okay to stop by his office and if he can help them, he will.

There might as well be a sign that reads "Counselor" over the door to his tiny room. Every day one or a few kids stop by. They talk and he listens. Sometimes he asks leading questions that turn their thoughts in a new direction. He takes the time, even if they still hang around after the end of a long school day.

Always, George takes care that his door stays open.

When a student finishes talking it out George usually assures them that he can tell they are strong and that he knows they will work it out. Most of the time that's all they need.

Sometimes he advises them to talk to a particular teacher or counselor. If he spots a youngster who seems deeply troubled, he quietly alerts faculty members who could come alongside.

Every now and then a kid will tell him, "You're my best friend in all the world, George. Nobody else cares."

Sandy worked behind the counter of a roller skating rink

On weekends and vacation times that rink also served as a hangout for middle- and high-schoolers with too much time on their hands. Her official job was to check everyone in and hand out skates.

Sandy didn't stop with that. She also settled arguments, usually by listening to both sides and then helping the kids get a better perspective. Her clear eyes saw everything, including young couples who couldn't keep their hands off each other.

"They're good kids, most of 'em," she said, "but a few have no one at home because their parents work late. That's why they hang around here–and why they talk to me. Some of their questions are 'lulus,' let me tell you! Everything from faith to sex to fear their parents might be getting a divorce."

That's when Sandy smiled, her face alight with real affection. "They need someone they can talk to. That makes me glad I can be here and that I have time to listen. I give out lots of hugs and I get hugged back. I guess for some of those kids I'm like another mom–and it's good for me to be needed, too."

Let's drop the word "just" when talking about what we do

You're not "just" a mom or a dad. You are raising the next generation. What could be more important than that? You are the one(s) in charge of your family's life and almost certainly, you set the tone for the atmosphere in your home.

You're not "just" a senior with time on your hands. You can use that extra time in so many ways, with your family, in your church and/or in your community. You are available and that enables you to be a blessing in ways that weren't possible earlier in your life.

You're not "just" a caregiver for a loved one. You are the one who–probably more than you know–makes it possible for that family member to feel still loved and valued, in spite of needing care.

You're not "just" a nurse or nurse's aide. You are the one who has the most direct contact with patients. You care for them–and probably with a smile that doesn't quit. You speak hope when they are depressed and encourage them.

You're not "just" the employee who keeps the business or restaurant tidy, including the restrooms. Because of your quiet work in the background, customers relax and feel confidence that things are done as they should be.

The list goes on and on. Endlessly.

Adding value to what we do as individuals

However we spend our days we can make life better for ourselves and others without much extra effort, often with words alone.

It's as the writer of Proverbs says in 25:11 (ESV):

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

A friend suggested the other day that instead of the cliche, "Have a nice day," we Christians easily could say, "May God give you a good day."

Or when someone asks, "How are you?" we could do better than reply with our standard "I'm fine." We could answer with something like, "I'm blessed and thankful, and I hope you are, too."

Suppose we took the words of the Apostle Paul seriously

Finally, brothers [and sisters,] whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV

What if you and I made it our "job" to live out those words? Whatever else we do each day, we could embody these truths and let it come through in our ordinary conversations and our everyday responsibilities. Think how that could change our days–and every interaction with other people.

This may sound small and unimportant, but trust me: The results(s) could be mighty.

Best of all, whatever our age or life situation, every one of can do this "small job, right now, wherever we are.

Ready, set, go!

Lenore

Forget the old definitions: There are no small jobs

October 29, 2021
Have you noticed how easily we overlook individuals who don't have a lot of flash and dash?

We applaud those who show great bravery at times of danger and disaster–and we should. They're easy to spot.

But we often miss the soft-spoken people who serve in the background and keep on doing it. People like "Marian," a woman I met at a convention when we ended up next to each other at lunch.

We talked about the morning's spiritual growth workshop. Marian said, "I always think maybe this time I'll figure out what I'm equipped to do for the Lord, but I still don't know.

"It's not because I haven't tried, but I just can't find my place, like in my church. I get tongue-tied in front of a group. Can't play an instrument, can't even carry a tune.

"I've tried teaching, but the problem is I never want to be up front."

She sighed as she got up to leave and said, "I think when the good Lord was giving out gifts, He just passed me by."

Later that day I met "Kate"

She said, "I saw you talking to Marian. Years ago she belonged to my little church.

"We don't have enough members to have lots of committees and boards and meetings. When something needs doing, we all just pitch in to get it done. This works real well for us most of the time. Or it did for a long time.

"Then one Sunday Fred had to run to the convenience store and buy coffee before he could get the coffeepot going. After church we regulars drank our coffee and talked, like we always do.

"Fred told us about the empty supply cupboard. Doris said she couldn't find any cleaning supplies when it was her turn to clean. That never happened before. Then Joe said, 'The last few Sundays I got here early, like always, and had to sweep off the church steps and sidewalks. Never had to do that before.'

"Marge said, 'Sounds like things are falling apart around here. What's changed?'"

The rest of the story

Kate shifted in her chair. "Then my husband said, 'Only one change I can think of: Marian moved away.'"

"We looked at each other and it was like that Bible verse about scales falling from our eyes. Marian never missed church and always sat in the same pew. A nice, quiet lady who always served food at potlucks and then washed up dishes afterwards.

"Somehow we never guessed that on her own she stocked us up on supplies and swept the walks–and who knows what else? George said he'd been treasurer for years and Marian never turned in a bill.

"We all felt terrible," Kate said. "We wrote letters to her and all that, but how do you make up for never noticing, never saying 'Thanks' while she was with us?

"I'm ashamed to say we never really saw Marian for who she was."

Don't we all do that, even with people we love?

For instance, we parents sometimes fall into that trap with our children.

We assume our "good kid," the one who almost never worries us and always finishes homework and chores–doesn't need our attention or our praise.

On the other hand, our child who struggles, the one who keeps us frustrated–and praying–gets extra time and we're ready to applaud every little accomplishment. We tell ourselves that one needs it more.

That's understandable, sure, but is it fair?

It can happen in a marriage, too

It's easy for a husband and wife to get used to their couple style and just bump around in the same life hardly noticing each other. Over time that can rob a marriage of its sparkle.

Or one spouse may under-value the fact their mate has a faithful, giving heart full of love and say, "Oh well, that's just how he (or she) is."

Words like that make it sound as if it costs nothing to be loving and to be one who can be counted on because "that's just how they are."

In marriage–and in life–it's way too easy to take a person's love and support for granted, as we do having air to breathe.

The one who feels unappreciated may think, Why bother?

Always, love is an action verb

The good, quiet people live in the same world as everyone else. They face pressures and get tired and sometimes want to quit, too.

But they don't. They stay.

They keep doing what needs doing and what they're supposed to do, without reminders. Without being noticed. All the while they're living out love.

Do we see them? (And cherish them if we live with them?)

Do we tell them we appreciate them and their generous hearts?

Do we let them know they are loved?

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.                                                            Proverbs 25:11 ESV

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. Philippians 1:3 ESV

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34 ESV

This Thanksgiving season let's express what we feel

Let's resolve to say "Thank you" more often. Let's say that word, write that note, make that call now.

Who do you know that's a hero who keeps on keepin' on and could use a verbal pat on the back?

Who do you know that needs your good words?

Still learning, always,

Lenore

Let’s open our eyes to all the quiet heroes in our midst

November 11, 2020
Isn't it easy to look at someone else's life and think they have it easy?

You've heard that old saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."

Here's what never gets said, "Yes, but you still have to mow it."

I confess. Early on, I spent a lot of time looking around at other people's lives and thinking, "If only … ."

Maybe you're familiar with that swamp, the one filled with, "If only my life were easier. If only I were a better _____ ." Etc.

I could have filled in that blank with at least a dozen ways in which either my life or I could be "better." After awhile I got older and smarter and recognized the obvious. No one lives an "easy" life and no one is perfect. Every one of us deals with stresses and problems and difficulties in relationships.

Some people think daydreaming is harmless and costs nothing. Not true. While we have our heads in the clouds we miss out on the day and the life we actually inhabit.

It's good to stop and now and then and take stock. Try making a list of what's good in your life. Oh, and forget "perfect." Concentrate instead on what's "good."

I discovered it helped to pretend I was someone else, a reporter, perhaps. What would I write about the woman in the mirror and the life she lived?

I used that list as a starting point for giving thanks to the Giver every day or so. By the time I worked my way through that list I'd be adding to it.

You can guess what happened, can't you? That little exercise became a habit, a way of thinking about my life. Each time I read it and thanked God for these blessings, I felt more blessed.

Before long when I realized I was happy. I liked myself better, too.

Did anything change about my life? Nope. Only my perception. And that made all the difference.

Like so many others before me, I learned the truth of Proverbs 23:7, as translated in the King James or Revised Standard Version. Here it is, slightly paraphrased.

As a [woman] thinks in [her] heart, so is [she.]

So, dear reader, here's my challenge for you: Try it for yourself. Then share your findings with the rest of us by using the comments form below.

Blessings and joy,

Lenore

Looking for happiness? Take a fresh look around

May 26, 2010