Category: Contentment

If you’re weary of “nothing happening” days and feeling frustrated for change, stop and rethink.

Think back to the time(s) a crisis of some sort caused you to wish you could go back a day. Or a week. Or a year. Back to before.

Before those medical tests.

Before that pink slip.

Before that stroke.

Before the “whatever” that seemed to come out of nowhere and turn your life upside down.

Next comes the nagging procession of “what ifs” and “if onlys”.

Do struggles ever have a purpose?

Here’s an old tale that may give us a bit of an answer:

One day a youngster burst into his home with excitement and rushed to show his mother his latest discovery. “What’s this, Mom?”

“That’s called a cocoon, Son. You might say it’s a butterfly-in-the-making. There’s a butterfly growing inside the shell, which protects it until the butterfly inside is ready to come out.”

One day, the boy noticed the cocoon starting to move. He watched and waited, trying his best to be patient. After awhile he said to himself, “That poor little butterfly needs help!”

So he found a pair of scissors and carefully cut away the hard brown shell. Then he cried, “Fly! Fly!” But the sorry-looking creature never did.

He ran to his mom and said, “Come look! I tried to make it easier for the butterfly to get out, but it just won’t fly. Why not?”

Mom hugged him and said, “You tried to help, Honey, but God created the butterfly so that when it’s just about ready to come out, it kicks and it pushes against the cocoon’s walls, over and over.

“It can take a long time to break through the shell, but the butterfly needs every kick and every push to get strong. Strong enough to break free of the shell so it can fly.”

What about you and me?

What if our down days, our boring days, and even our struggles actually help us grow strong–and strengthen our faith in God, too?

A Bible verse that has come to mean a lot to me is Ecclesiastes 7:14:

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.

Still, life can be hard. At first we may think ourselves able to handle a challenge with no problem. Before long we find out we’re not strong enough on our own. As never before, we turn to prayer.

I once heard a Bible teacher say, “No experience is ever wasted in the life of a Christian” and I thought, well, that’s nice.

By now I’ve lived long enough to understand that trials along the way do help develop my inner strength and my faith.

Living it out

Here’s how I understand it. If we’re still breathing and we have a pulse, God has something for us to do. Think about these Bible verses, for example:

For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:13

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

As your days, so shall your strength be. Deuteronomy 33:25

Whatever comes, we’re not on our own

By now I’ve learned to pray I will appreciate each day while I am living it.

Years ago I tacked these lines by Mary Jean Iron to my bulletin board. Maybe they will speak to your heart as they do to mine.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are …

Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect Tomorrow.

One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.

May those simple words remind us to live each day as if it were God’s precious gift to us. Because it is.

(Even the days we label boring.)

Wishing you peace and JOY in every day,

Lenore

Could Feeling Bored Indicate We Are Blessed?

February 23, 2026
Have you noticed how someone's casual remark sometimes switches your mind into a new–and better–way of thinking?

It happened to me when I ran into a friend I hadn't seen for months. After exchanging the usual pleasantries I asked, "How are things going for you lately?"

She lit up with a big smile and said, "Lately my life has been really, really good."

"Great! Has something changed?"

"Nope. I just learned what makes the difference between being happy and being frustrated. It's simple, really: I lowered my expectations. That made all the difference."

We each had places to rush off to, but our brief conversation replayed in my mind all week, probably because, um, I needed to hear it.

How about you?

Lower my expectations. Could it be that simple?

Ever had a conversation like this at your house?

Me: "Well, I thought you would _____."

My husband: "How was I to know what you expected? You're just disappointed because I didn't live up to your expectations."

He was right, of course. (Sigh.)

I finally admitted to myself that too often I thought I knew how things "should" go. With neighbors, with our children, even with myself.

I don't know about you, but I've never found this eased tensions.

A solid place to start

The more I thought about it, the more I understood how my friend's new attitude could change life for the better:

Expect less and rejoice over what IS, rather than stress over what isn't.

This sounds so basic it made me think well, any fool should be able to do that.

Exactly. That's the point.

Plotting it out

You probably aren't a psychiatrist or a counselor. Neither am I. But I learned some simple changes that made a big difference in all of life.

I found that first I had to lay aside my comfortable, customary habits. Then baby-step by baby-step, I needed to adjust my thinking and reacting. After awhile the new way of thinking felt more natural, more comfortable.

If you wonder how to start, think small. Manageable. Small twists on what you already know and the way you customarily behave.

And always, always, be patient with yourself and with others.

Where to start? You get to choose. Here are some suggestions

Put aside former notions and just accept each person as they are, rather than thinking "If only … ." (Look on their differentness as a spice in life, rather than an irritant.)

Reaffirm what's worthy in people with a bit of praise now and then. (Hint: There's no better way to see more of it.)

Spend more time looking for what's good than hunting out what isn't. (Get ready to be surprised.)

Be glad and grateful for what is instead of wishing for what isn't. (Decide to view your glass as half-full, rather than half-empty.)

Look around at your own four walls with fresh eyes. (Instead of picking out flaws, let yourself breathe in the warmth of the home–the recharging station–you've created.)

Learn to appreciate small everyday joys. (They're the stuff of daily life.)

Smile more. (Skin experts tell us this cuts down on wrinkles, too.)

Begin each day with, "Thank you, Lord, for my life and the people in it." (Watch how this simple practice brightens your day.)

Three universal principles

We get back what we give out

If we long to hear praise we need to hand it out, too. (This means we open our eyes and actually see the people around us.)

Suppose you want your spouse to be more thoughtful and loving. Exaggerated sighs and nagging seldom pay off. Instead, make it your habit to give out what you want to receive. (Be patient as your new way of mutual giving develops.)

Be forgiving of flaws

Nobody's perfect, not even you or me. Aren't you glad? If we keep this thought front and center in our minds it smooths over a lot of life's stresses.

Give up chasing perfectionism and get real

Perhaps you, too, were raised on, "Anything worth doing is worth doing well."

Let it go. It's okay to think that good enough IS good enough. You hereby have my permission to relax. (I'm giving myself the same message.)

Contentment. A synonym for happiness?

The Apostle Paul wrote, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." (Philippians 4:11 NIV)

Think about that. Even the Apostle Paul had to learn to be content, so let's not give up on ourselves as we take two steps forward and one step back. Over and over. (Two steps forward and one step back is still one step forward, isn't it?)

We are, after all, only human. Through God's grace in Jesus Christ we who believe are forgiven sinners, but here on earth we'll remain flawed.

That truth makes it easier to lower our expectations and be glad for what is. Be thankful for the good qualities in your family and the people around you.

After all, don't we want the people we love and the people around us to accept us as we are? So let's be glad and thank God for what is.

Now, can we all breathe a big sigh of relief?

Learning, too,

Lenore
You Can Change Your Life If You Change Your Mindset

August 31, 2024
A lot of people spend a lot of time wondering about the "If Onlys" of life:

    If only I could meet the right person and fall in love, then all my dreams would come true …

    If only we had better communication then our relationship would be perfect …

   If only we had a baby then our marriage would be stronger …

    If only we earned more money …

   If only we had a bigger/newer/nicer house in a better neighborhood, then life would be perfect …

    If only our children were through school and had good jobs and were married to the right people then I could stop worrying about them …

     If only I had the body I used to have …

    If only growing older weren't so scary …

    If only … then …

    If only …

    If …

There's a term for that: "Mythical thinking"

That's how some mental health professionals label it. Mythical thinking keeps us dreaming of a place where everyone and everything is–or could be–perfect.

Here's the problem. When we spend too much time daydreaming about Make Believe Land it's as if we put on blinders that shut out the sweet reality of our lives:

The beauty all around us, God's intricate creation.

The small, kind gestures of people in our lives. (Like the stranger who held open the heavy door when we were balancing shopping bags.)

The fun of watching our children grow into themselves, little by little over the years.

You and I weren't born wearing blinders

We pick them and put them on all by ourselves.

It can start with spending too much time reading other people's posts on the Internet, the ones that show their "perfect lives."

In the blink of an eye, joy flies out the window.

The thought and energy we invest on what could be/should be better takes us out of the day we're living. We risk becoming what I heard described years ago as, "Living a life fenced in on all four sides by the perpendicular pronoun, 'I.'"

That can blind us to God's daily blessings to us, large and small. We miss out on the joy of them and likely won't even think to say, "Thank you, Lord."

When we fixate on ourselves and our lives we miss a lot. We forget to encourage people around us with smiles and a few good words, such as: "Thanks!" "Good for you!" "I'm so proud of you!"

Some of us are thinking, Yes, but this is me and I don't know how to change. What am I supposed to do about that?

First comes being willing to be willing to change. With choosing to live in the now and to love in the now.

How do I start?

We always choose the outlook we put on. What God said to the Israelites applies to us, too:

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 30:19

Any time at all we can ask for help from the One who never takes His loving eyes off us:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Any time our past failings threaten to overwhelm us, the One who makes all things new is waiting:

If anyone is in Christ he (or she) is a new creation; the old has passed away; behold, the new has come.   2 Corinthians 5:17

What does it mean to be "in Christ?"

There's no big list of requirements here. When we trust in Jesus Christ as our Savior and aim to live by that faith, we are "in Christ."

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. John 3:16-17

That's the starting place and the ending place.

So how can one be happy, whatever comes?

Choose life! Choose to be alive in the moment and to see all the ways God has been–and is–blessing you.

Choose to be in Christ and know true inner peace. Nothing and no one else can bring deep-down joy that fills in your empty places.

This is not me, preaching to you. This is me sharing what countless millions of us over the centuries know to be true.

God bless you, my invisible reader friend,

Lenore
What would it take to make you happy?

March 12, 2024
We've all been there, in one of those times when our life feels as flat as a soda that's lost its fizz.

The dark mood hangs on, even though nothing in our lives has changed. Our "glass" is as full today as it was yesterday. Last week. Last month.

Yet we see emptiness, not fullness.

That's because we call it as we see it at the moment, not as it is.

It's not helpful that we may do that with our family members and friends, too. We become blind to their good points and see only their faults.

We look at our lives and say, "Well, nobody's life is perfect, but …"

Then that little voice inside asks, Couldn't my life be a bit, um, more? Couldn't that other person change just a little bit? If only ….

Trust me, it's risky to hang around too long in the land of "If only."

I know a woman, let's call her Ginny, and I doubt she ever goes there. She has a pile of problems, but you'd never guess. Ask her how she's doing and she usually replies, "Great! If my life got any better, I couldn't stand it!"

Ask her to elaborate and she'll say, "Well, I am breathing in and out–and that's a good thing. My arms and legs get me around, no help needed, and my mind works just fine. So do my eyes, even if I do need Coke-bottle eyeglasses to see well. I have a roof over my head and I eat regularly. I'm part of a church family, where we love the Lord and we love each other. Best of all, I know Jesus loves me and watches over me, so I see myself as rich."

It took me awhile to understand that every time Ginny repeats all the reasons she has to be thankful it reinforces in her mind that she is blessed and it shifts her thinking to what's good and right and true.

Does that sounds too simple? Most great truths are.

What if you and I counted our blessings not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of the year?

Suppose we gave up harping on what's wrong and bemoaning what's missing and deliberately focused on what is good. Saying it out loud helps, too, even if there's no one else around.

Picture starting each day with, "Thank you, Lord, for this day and for every blessing in my life. Thank you for promising to be with me every minute. Guide me and use me, I pray, and get me through this day."

Think how that simple change could improve our marriages, our family relationships and our friendships.

Researchers say don't stop there

Don't take my word for it. A Texas Tech University study proved the value of counting our blessings and then counting them again. They divided study participants into two groups with similar life situations.

This turned out to be a genius way to prove that even such a simple practice made a huge difference. The folks who frequently and deliberately took time to re-appreciate the good in their lives scored themselves as happier than those who didn't.

Researchers concluded that counting our blessings–over and over–reminds us of their value and helps us stay contented.

As the song says,

"Count your blessings, name them one by one . . .

"And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

Our perception of life depends on where we look.

Most of all it helps if we take our eyes off the gifts and focus on the Giver. He is the real source of life in our life.

Here are some verses to help us get us started.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Why not give it a try?

This Thanksgiving and every day may you have blessings too numerous to count–and may you have eyes to see them!

Wishing you joy,

Lenore

Put some life back in your life

November 14, 2022
If we conducted a poll it's a safe bet that a lot of people, all ages, believe the more money a person has, the happier they will be.

Hmm. If that were true, wouldn't all the "rich and famous" folks have perfect marriages and happy, well-adjusted children?

Every day the news reports give examples of how that is far from the truth.

Some counselors say it helps us keep on track to to ask ourselves every so often, "What do I value most? And how about my children?"

As always, it comes down to perspective

I couldn't help hearing parts of the conversation of two men in a waiting area. I still remember the main points of what they said. It went something like this.

They seemed comfortable with each other, one older man and one much younger. The younger man said, "Silvie and I met when we were full-time college students and working part-time jobs. She got her diploma a year ago and found a job that pays well, which was a godsend.

"When our daughter was born it seemed best for me to be a stay-at-home dad for awhile–and I'm loving it.

"Now I'm taking the rest of my college classes at night and online, so it will take me longer to get my degree. If you said we're broke you'd be right, but we're happy."

The older man laughed and said, "Hey, that's the way it's supposed to be when you're starting out, Kyle. How did you get so wise?"

Father knows best

Kyle took time to think, then said, "Well, a long time ago my dad gave me advice he guaranteed would help make for a happy marriage.

"He said my wife and I should always make sure we could get by on one income. That way if one of us couldn't work, we'd still have enough. Ellie and I talked about that and she said 'Okay, let's try it.'

"So that's what we're doing. We don't have a huge flat-screen TV, just the one my folks passed on when they upgraded to a bigger set. Our furniture is from Goodwill and hand-me-downs. We drive an old clunker and our cell phones are dinosaurs.

"But you know what? Neither of us would trade places with anybody. We're paying our bills and putting a few dollars into savings every month. We're working our plan and we're doing what matters to us. Our love is strong and we have each other and now, our healthy daughter too. Life is good."

As they got up to leave I heard the older man say, "You probably already know that your dad was a very wise man, my friend. And good for you, you know you are blessed. Not everyone does. "

Some of us can identify with that young dad

My husband and I married when we were very young and crazy in love. We were so happy to be together that nothing else mattered. For years we lived pretty much a no-frills lifestyle. I wouldn't say we "lived on love," but money was tight.

Who cared? We were together and life was good.

In those years we discovered what's been proven true over and over: Riches have nothing to do with money.

Earlier generations understood that

When I was a kid money was always tight, so my parents became experts in stretching it. I don't remember them complaining much. Nor do I recall them ever quoting wise words on being content, other than in family devotions. Then we might talk about Bible verses like 1 Timothy 6:8:

And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. NKJV

I didn't realize it then but Mom and Dad lived that verse most of the time. Their attitude seemed to be: "This the life God has given us, so let's make the most of it."

And they did, in simple ways. For example, one constant in my childhood was that no matter how often we moved, my dad planted seeds of blue morning glories in each yard. They twined gloriously up the clothesline poles. We always had all kinds of flowers along the yard fence, too.

My parents trusted God to provide and He did.

I wish I could say that I never complained, but I did, especially as a teenage girl. I wanted what "everyone else" had, knowing all the while that would never happen.

When I look back I know we were rich in what matters most

We kids knew for sure was that our mom and dad loved each other and they loved us–even though they seldom said the words. (Neither did any other parents of that era.)

We might not like what they said but we never doubted they were speaking truth, either to us or to others.

We never wondered whether one parent or the other would walk out on us.

As always, how we think makes all the difference

By now I've learned that life gets even better when we know we're blessed and remember to thank the Giver.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. Psalm 118:1

With that firmly fixed in our minds, life will be good, no matter what our circumstances.

Always, true wealth is a matter of the heart. We just need to remind ourselves often of that truth–and be at peace.

Thanks be that God, the Giver of all things, has patience with his often-forgetful children. Like me.

Warmly,

Lenore

What’s your definition of having “enough” money?

September 1, 2022
Perhaps the better question is, "How are you treating life?"

That is, what label do we paste on our days?

We seldom realize that's what we're doing, but it's true–and it becomes a habit.

A bad habit, because it gets easier and easier to fixate on what's "wrong" and subsequently miss what's right. (Or am I the only one who ever does that?)

This colors how we look at everything, maybe most of all, the people in our lives.

Finding fault and complaining starts early. Think how siblings squabble and wail, "It's my turn."

Nobody has to teach kids that annoying practice. Isn't it odd how that kind of attitude seems to lurk within each of us?

The angst of the younger generation ramps up in the teenage years, with endless complaints to parents: "You always …" or "You never … "

During those years children and teens could not fathom the internal struggles a mother or father feels. All along they live with uncertainty, nobody ever certain they are "doing it right."

Labeling saves time

Think about it. Once we label a person we don't have to think. We just plug in what we always "knew" about them–or thought we did.

Those old impressions lodge in our minds and too often we won't let go. It's more comfortable to hang onto old thinking than to take a fresh look. At ourselves.

This same pitfall dogs married couples. The person we fell in love with and married turns out to have a few faults. Yet that's the one who stays and keeps on loving us through all the highs and lows, the good times and the hard times–which happen to everyone, by the way.

Even those we judge to "have it all together."

Cause for celebration

If we're honest, at times any one of us is not that easy to live with–even in a strong marriage. True?

But do we celebrate? Nope. More often we nag and nit-pick about small habits that bug us. We whine that we don't feel appreciated for who we are and how much we give and we are the ones who deserve to be celebrated.

(How do I know this? Do you need to ask?)

We may exhibit selective sight with our adult children, as well. We focus on all the ways they need to change but remain blind to their strengths and good points. As for praise, forget about it, because we know they could do better.

Often our Inner Critic carries that over into all of life

We pick out things we wish were different and easily ignore what's good. We look "over there" for happiness and forget to look at what and who is right there in front of us.

Most of all we forget to look within ourselves.

Too often I would have to plead guilty. How about you?

But hey, old habits are hard to break. Right?

Time for a change

I've never forgotten one sermon that jolted me out of that rut.

Our pastor had the ushers hand out index cards and told us that he had found a short formula to be helpful in his life because it opened the eyes of his heart. That Sunday he decided to pass it on to us.

He suggested an experiment. Starting that day each of us was to promise ourselves to make this our personal practice. No questions would be asked. No reports of progress or lack thereof. This was to be personal.

His "formula" stuck in my memory because it's uncomplicated and short. I wrote it on an index card and taped it to my bathroom mirror as a reminder.

Did it bless my life? Yes it did, although I confess sometimes I slipped up often and some days didn't remember to try.

Here's the simple formula:

1. Leave the past at the cross of Jesus Christ, once and for all.

2. See the good.

3. Speak the good.

4. Ask God to develop this attitude within me.

U-turn required

Whatever the date and time or stage of life we're in right now, it's worth giving it a fair trial, don't you think?

According to the news and the "experts" it sounds as if everything is up for grabs. Some of us feel we're floundering and just hanging on from day to day.

This simple formula sorts out what matters most in making a good life. It reveals the emptiness of the flotsam we're flooded with every day, on every side. It reminds us to stay on track by fixing our attention on what we as individuals can control.

This list serves us in the same way a level serves a carpenter: It helps us stay balanced, today and in the future.

You and I cannot change the world, but we change our world

Living by that pastor's formula takes us a long way toward that goal.

For specifics, many people hold up the Proverbs 31 woman as an example of how we should live. I believe most of those principles apply to both sexes in a general way.

If the criteria in that chapter sound too daunting, focus on verse 26 for starters.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Doesn't that make a worthy checklist for both women and men?

It's not hard to see how speaking kindness and appreciation would add life and light to our lives–and the lives of our spouse, our children and the people around us. This is doable for any of us.

Whatever our age or life situation, one truth applies to every one of us:

God gives us life. It's up to us how we live it.

Here's to being good learners,

Lenore

A question only you can answer: How is Life Treating You?

May 17, 2022
Some of us may be thinking that right now.

Camelot, the stuff dreams are made of.

Camelot, the mythical kingdom where the flowers always bloomed and the sun always shone. Perfection.

In that magical place no maiden ever felt a pang of distress for long because somehow, a brave knight always waited to rescue her–and just in time.

Ladies in elaborate gowns sipped tea and cakes–yet never had to boil or bake.

Never was heard an angry word and tranquility reigned, at least on the surface.

Ah, Camelot. Or if you prefer, Downton Abbey.

Either one will do–provided it comes with a downstairs staff and Mr. Carson.

The problem is, you and I live in the real world

With real people.

People we find hard to tolerate, not because they've harmed us but because, well, just because. Who needs more reason than that?

People with whom we may disagree. Strongly. Yet here we are living in the same world, maybe right next door to each other.

Business associates and political leaders–whoever they are–probably will let us down and we will chafe at them even being allowed to hold power of any kind.

On a personal level, sometimes even the best of us let each other down. Husbands fail wives and wives fail their husbands. Parents fail their children–and vice versa. Friends walk out of our lives and we don't know why.

All this is part of the human condition. If we expect any person in our lives to be perfect, it's a dream more elusive than Camelot.

And we set ourselves up to be disappointed because we human beings are, well, human. That is, flawed.

The trick is to stop looking "out there" and focus on what's good

Most of us can call to mind at least a few times we under-valued what we have. That's a waste. When we take it for granted we can forget we are blessed .

How we live, how we treat the people in our lives and the choices we make are within our control. That's true whoever we are and whatever our life situation.

Even if everything is stripped away, we still decide our outlook on life.

Will we keep a running list of what we lack or will we open our eyes to ways we are blessed?

It's our own four walls that spell home and warmth, not those stunning houses we see on HGTV.

It's the flesh-and-blood people in our lives who fill our hearts and give life meaning, not the "beautiful people" we may read about or admire on TV.

It's our own bodies and health we need to care for, whatever our shape or size and whatever the state of our health.

God gifts us with each day and that alone is reason to celebrate.

Perhaps it's time for a turnaround in our thinking

First comes the knowing. Then comes the will to appreciate who we are and what we have.

Can we change? Absolutely. We just need to take the Apostle Paul at his word.

[This is what the LORD says] "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" –Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! –2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

In Jesus Christ, we are new, with new eyes. And we can turn to him as long as there's breath in our bodies.

As for Camelot–or Downton Abbey–I'd love to visit sometime. But I wouldn't trade the joys and challenges of relating to real life and real people.

(Still, it would be nice to have a downstairs staff, don't you think?)

Blessings,

Lenore

Did someone mess up your Camelot?

November 4, 2020
Contentment: What we all long for and few of us possess

It's easy to be contented when we're feeling good about our lives. When our work is going smoothly and our loved ones are safe and well and we're keeping up with expenses.

But sometimes it's not that way.

Take health, for instance. Most of us know what it's like to wait for the results of medical tests.

We want to know–and we don't want to know. Our minds keep this sound track playing, every waking moment: "Oh please, dear God, let it be okay."

Sleep comes and goes and our gut grumbles at us.

At last we get the verdict. If the news is good our prayer changes to, "Thank you, Lord! Oh, thank you, thank you."

When it's not, all we can wail is, "Oh no. Lord, what can we do?"

A friend received test results she dreaded to hear

We talked later and she kept asking in a defeated voice, "How will I get through this? How do I live with this constant fear?"

I hugged her and said what I suppose anyone feeling helpless would say, "Forget the long haul. You are strong. You can make it through anything one day, one hour, maybe even one moment at a time. Treatments have come a long way." Etc.

But it was not enough. Of course, it was not enough.

She needed more. I should have said what I truly believe: You can make it through anything.

I believe that because I've learned the truth of this verse through living my life:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 NKJV

Who hasn't struggled with doubt at times?

We know what it's like when our minds churn with "What ifs" and "If onlys."

We also know that's useless, because we only get this day, this moment to live in. One at a time.

Our call as Christians is to make the most of who we are and what we have. Now. And thank God for his blessings, because only he knows tomorrow. As for what may be–or what we lack–we're to leave that in his care.

That's a lifelong challenge, especially when we're drowning in words and opinions coming at us from all sides.

Especially in this election year.

The Apostle Paul talked about contentment

.I used to read these well-loved verses and sigh.

For I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.   Philippians 4:11-13 NIV

That first sentence always stopped me. I imagined Paul as one who possessed a special gift and could endure whatever came without struggling. I wanted his gift!

One day, in the middle of that well-worn thought, I realized I had missed the point. Paul said, "I have learned . . . "

Oh.

He learned

Just as you and I do, as our children do. Little by little, one trial after another. (You can read Paul's list in II Corinthians 11:23-29.)

Paul mastered being "content in any circumstance" the only way any human can.

I can be content one moment after the other if I set a limit on my thoughts.

If I refuse to allow myself to dwell on what's missing in my life, in other people or in myself.

Each time Paul chose whether to fix his eyes on his situation and cower in fear, or turn toward God and trust. Through it all he believed God would bring good , even out of pain.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good . . . Romans 8:28a ESV

Life happens and, well, nobody's life is perfect

The best we can do is look to Paul's example of how to handle the stresses and pains of life. Then whether we're dealing with a huge boulder in our path or a grain of sand in our shoe, we can be at peace.

Even if it's two steps forward, one step back, it's still progress.

For many of us making this lesson our own will be a lifelong learning process.

In the meantime, let's hug to our hearts the sure knowledge that we don't need to see the sense of what comes into our lives.

Our loving Heavenly Father cares and can turn our chaos into something beautiful. In His time.

What more can we ask?

Learning, too,

Lenore

On learning contentment, one day at a time

October 9, 2020
"Strategies to make every day better." It sounds too simple, doesn't it?

I hear you saying, "If I'm having 'one of those days,' how on earth can I make it better?"

But you can, I can, we all can.

If we choose to grab hold of the power. Here's how.

1. Decide to make it a good day

When I was a young mom I read a book that challenged my thinking.

The author maintained that more than any other factor, our thoughts dictate the happiness level of our lives. Each day we decide it will be a "good" day or a "bad" day and then act accordingly.

Could that be true? I thanked God our life was good and I wanted to be a happy mama, but most days I was more of a dreary mama.

The next day I woke up in a lousy mood, then remembered what the author said. (Insert groan.) Okay, I would try it for myself. I would fake smiles and act cheerful and not expect much in return.

Surprise. My husband smiled back and kissed me more enthusiastically before he left the house. All day our children squabbled less and seemed happier. When problems arose instead of awfulizing and complaining to God, I murmured, "Lord, help me."

And one way or another, He did.

Looking around the dinner table each family member seemed more contented, including me. At bedtime even our balkiest child trotted upstairs without argument.

As for me, instead of my usual rundown of "what ifs" I fell asleep quickly.

The next morning I tested that far-out theory again, with the same pleasing results. I promised myself that every day I would decide to have a good day.

Over time that simple practice bore a lovely crop of good fruit in our marriage and our kids.

Did I slip up now and then? Sure. Then I would start over again, asking the Lord's ever-present help.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. –Isaiah 41:10 NIV

2. Believe you are–or will be–well and strong

At first this strategy made no sense. If I'm feeling achy or have an actual health problem, that's beyond my control. Right?

Not necessarily.

Chalk it up to how suggestible we all are. Healthy or not, any time we ask ourselves, "Where do I hurt?" we can find some area or body part that doesn't feel quite right.

Then we begin to wonder what it means, maybe even spend time on Google trying to figure it out.

That line of thinking guarantees we'll feel worse.

Even if we have chronic health problems, our thoughts make us feel better or worse.

Every time it helps to concentrate on, "I know God is with me and He will never leave me."

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. –Philippians 4:6-7 NIV

3. Choose to live love

Love is all about emotion. We're "in love" as long as we feel love toward another person.

Isn't that what we all believe and read and watch on the screen? (That's fiction, remember?)

To build something more lasting we do well to consider a basic principle of Marriage Encounter. It runs contrary to popular thought:

"Love is a daily decision."

Not a feeling. Not a mood. Not an emotion.

Every day we decide all over again to love. To speak and act in loving ways and work to strengthen our relationship.

We decide today to love the person our spouse is today.

If that sounds artificial, think back to before marriage. Didn't we take care to speak love and show love even on our bad days?

In every stage of life we can pick out what's good or fixate on what's missing. Whichever we choose will affect how we treat each other.

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. –Ephesians 4:2-3 NLT

It's not rocket science

I wouldn't pretend I've lived these strategies perfectly and I'm not much for "programs." All I know is these principles changed me and changed my life for the better.

Whatever your situation, why not give it a try?

Lovingly,

Lenore

Strategies to make every day better

January 29, 2020
February can be risky territory, especially for husbands

Especially for my husband, because this is the month in which we were married. So he has two opportunities to fall flat.

It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the ads that run this time of year, all touting, "Show your love how much you care!"

All a guy has to do, say the advertisers, is buy what they're peddling. Flowers, diamonds, chocolate-dipped strawberries, sexy lingerie, even footed all-in-one pajamas. (Can Chia Hearts be far behind?)

It's advertising hype, pure and simple, and I know it. But I'm a romantic–isn't that part of being female?–so I fantasize.

Over the years I wasted too many "Big Days" in February because my sweet husband, being a guy, didn't show up with something. He'd say, "Oh, Honey, I forgot. I'm sorry!" And he was.

I'd mouth the words, "That's okay," and paste on a phony smile, telling myself to grow up.

Enter The Big Chill. Poor me thinking. Frequent sighs. You know the drill.

Years of living together taught me a greater truth

My perspective changed. Now I know:

Any Valentine's Day, anniversary or birthday is less important than the other 364 days of the year.

What matters most is how love plays out day-after-day.

Love eats his bride's latest kitchen experiment and pronounces the strange-looking mixture, "Delicious."

Love holds his extremely pregnant wife while she wails, "I'm huge! And I can't get any shoes on except flip-flops!" Love replies, "I think you've never been more beautiful, Sweetheart."

Love says, "I'll take care of the kids over the weekend. You go to that getaway with your friends. We'll be just fine."

Love says, "No, no, no. You're the one who deserves a new coat. Mine's good for another winter."

Love puts the coffee on because he knows she needs a cup to get going in the morning.

Love thinks his receding hairline is "sexy" and love handles are comfy.

Love overlooks her stretch marks and mastectomy scars and her tendency to lose track of time.

Love sees the girl he married even when she walks stooped-over and with a cane.

Love sees her sweetheart, even when he sometimes can't remember her name.

And vice versa.

I've learned–sometimes the hard way–that mutual loving kindness and consideration nourish a marriage, just as regular feeding and watering help a rosebush bloom and thrive.

Let's rejoice in what is

Today I know what matters most to me is the enduring love between my husband and me. I count that more precious than all the diamonds in South African mines.

When it comes to special days like Valentine's Day and anniversaries, let's not miss an amazing, humbling point:

You and I hold the power to make every day a special day for the one we love–and ourselves.

Maybe that sounds too simplistic, but it's true.

So let's Keep It Simple, Sweeties!

An anytime checklist

Many of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13, which often is spoken at weddings.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs … It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails … And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (vv. 4-8, 13 NIV)

Think of these verses as a sort of plumb line to live by. Can we do that, day after day? No, because we're sinners, unable to live perfect lives.

But know this: When we make that our aim, love and joy will grow, right where we are. Guaranteed.

Still learning, too,

Lenore

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