Category: Encouragement

I don’t know about you, but lately I am “up to here” with endless accounts of corruption, name-calling and reasons to be fearful.

If I were one of the characters in an old cowboy movie, I might say, “Ah hanker to hear somethin’ good.”

In those movies two sunburned cowhands might be looking up at a fiery sunset. One would spit out the blade of grass between his teeth and say, “Well, sure, Shorty. Reckon Ah ‘kin do that.”

Maybe he’d stretch long and tall, then pick up his guitar and sing a song with a catchy refrain. It might even be the song many of us learned as children. Remember?

“Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam, where the deer and the antelope play.

“Where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day.”

Nobody cared whether that cowboy-turned-philosopher could sing. He had heart. Hearing words like that lifted our hearts and made us thankful to live in such a great Country.

Maybe we should start a movement right where we are

The only qualification for membership is that we focus on what’s right–and talk about it.

Let’s not stop there. Let’s be the ones who speak the good word, whether to our children and grandchildren or to our friends and neighbors.

Most of us can think of a time when we were scraping the bottom of our ability to cope. When someone quietly spoke hope to us. How? Keep it simple, something like, “I know it will work out for you. Remember, I’m praying for you and I’m ready to listen any time.”

People can live a long time on one encouraging remark.

One quality which unites us, rich or poor, young or old

Every one of us, whatever our age, longs to hear words like these:

“I believe in you.”

“You’re working hard and that always pays off, even when it takes awhile.”

“Of course you’ll make it through this. Look at all you have going for you.”

“I can see you’re learning and growing. That’s the best way to reach your goals.”

“I know you’ll find a job and who knows? It may be the best job you ever had.”

“God is faithful and He will carry you through this.”

Who needs words like these?

Truett Cathy, the founder of the Chick-Fil-A restaurant chain, put it this way.

“How do you know if someone needs encouragement? If they’re breathing.”

The great thing about lifting another person’s mood is that it raises our spirits, too. Before long we start getting back what we’ve been giving out. Other people find us easy to be around.

It means we focus on the possible, not the impossible.

More often than seems logical, the difference between who succeeds and who fails is that one believes they will and the other hopes they will.

What made the difference? Someone planted that vision, probably more than once. Then the planter watered it with repetition, love and encouragement.

King Solomon talked about that long ago

He’s the one who wrote these words:

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.  –Proverbs 12:25

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. –Proverbs 16:24

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. –Proverbs 25:11

Our heartfelt words can change night into day for someone else. God promises to hear us when we pray for guidance and courage to reach out.

Let’s vow to throw out dark, discouraging words and substitute words that bring sunshine instead of clouds. Let’s resolve to lift hearts instead of feeding the despair all around us. Here’s what we do know for sure:

Even if we can’t change the world, we can affect the climate where we live. After all, we hear every word we say. This means we can give our own hearts a lift, too. Doesn’t that make it worth a try?

Working on it, too,

Lenore
How Do We Stay Up in a Down World?

January 21, 2026
Most of us know at least one person who believes others get all the luck and they don't have much of a chance to be happy or successful.

I think of my friend "Ellie," whom I've known for years. Whenever life disappoints her she says something like, "Well, that's the way it goes for me. It's that old black cloud that's been parked over my head since I was born."

Where she got that idea I don't know, but no one has been able to convince her she's wrong.

Ellie remains convinced she's unlucky. Therefore, everything turns out less well for her than for people around her. End of discussion.

I've come to think she feels a perverse kind of satisfaction when she can say, "See there? I told you everything happens to me and nothing ever works out right!"

Maybe Ellie's mindset isn't far from from our own, just a little bit. Or even a lotta bit.

Our outlook defines the "world" we live in

Christians are not immune to this way of thinking.

Most of us would confess we've asked God at times, "Why?" "How?" "When will this be over?"

Even as people who know and trust our Lord, it's still true that how we see determines what we see and yes, it often takes courage and strength to look on the bright side.

Maybe that's because it takes less energy to look down than up.

Negativity is rather like gravity. It exerts an invisible pull that drags us down.

Always, we get to choose

A favorite pastor who always seemed to be looking up, not down, said the first thing he did every morning was say, "Thank you, Lord, for another day. This is the day You have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Next he took a few moments and ran through his reasons to thank God.

I knew him well enough to know he had his share of troubles and sorrows in his life, yet he deliberately turned his attention toward God's goodness and power.

That changes things, doesn't it?

We can keep our eyes on ourselves–on our problems and our limited abilities–and panic.

Or we can remind ourselves that as believers in Jesus, the Lord of heaven and earth is on our side, which shrinks our challenges down to their rightful size.

Christians, too, can hit one of those times when everything appears to us to be unsolvable and we're drifting toward hopelessness. That's the time to remind ourselves Who has the last word:

"I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" —Jeremiah 32:27 NIV

Always, we find what we look for

Even in the worst times we still have a choice: We can fixate on what's wrong or we can remind ourselves what we know is right and good and true.

The Apostle Paul knew all about that. For years he traveled far and wide to tell people about Jesus and repeatedly experienced the worst kind of hardships, including beatings and imprisonments. Even then, he wrote to the Philippians:

Finally, brothers [and sisters,] whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. –Philippians 4:8 NIV

In those few words Paul shows us how to shed our own "black cloud":

Always asking God's help, we resolve to day after day fasten our thoughts on what is good. When we do that, over time the darkness of everyday life will lose its pull on us.

It's our mindset that matters most

Chuck Swindoll summed it up well: "We have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for the day. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Our attitude is everything."

As always, the Bible stated this same truth centuries before Swindoll:

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he … . –Proverbs 23:7 NKJV

Perhaps you, too, know this and believe it, but still must keep relearning this truth again and again. (Me, too.) The good news is we can start over tomorrow. And the tomorrow after that every day of our lives. Today's failure is never final.

As Swindoll said, it's all about how we react to what happens to us. (Or doesn't.) That leaves us with no one to blame, but isn't that a good thing?

Doesn't this mean we get to decide whether we will walk in sunshine or live under a "dark cloud"?

Let's head our daily checklist with these two questions to think about:

What am I thinking in my heart?

How happy/contented/hopeful have I decided to be?

Only you (and I) can come up with answers for ourselves. Think of that as the ultimate power statement.

Thankful for each new start,

Lenore
Do you live under a dark cloud?

May 30, 2023
Remember when we were little and we proudly declared, "I'm gonna do something important when I grow up!"

Most of us lost that certainty and we toned it down as the years went by. Besides, our definition of "important" changed–and that's a good thing.

Some people have a mental pecking order when it comes to jobs. Sorry to tell you, but that's an outdated concept.

Sometimes a job is much more than it seems

Mitzi works in a child care center. She earns little more than minimum wage, but she loves kids.

Some days the babies cry all day and toddlers cling. On those days sometimes she would like to turn around, walk out the door and never come back.

But she stays, knowing she's "security" for the little ones in her charge.

The moms and dads love her because it's plain to see that Mitzi loves their children. They often confide in her because she always lets them talk. What's more, she takes time to listen. Mitzi raised three children of her own, so she often passes on practical tips from her own parenting.

More than one young mom has said to her, "I don't know what I'd do without you, Mitzi. I'm just flying by the seat of my pants as a mom and I don't have anyone else to ask. You are a lifesaver!"

George is "just a janitor" in a middle school.

He has a small cubbyhole "office" where he eats his sack lunch and puts his feet up between chores.

Each year at the beginning of the school year he makes sure to spread the word to students just coming in that he wants to be helpful. He lets everyone know it's okay to stop by his office and if he can help them, he will.

There might as well be a sign that reads "Counselor" over the door to his tiny room. Every day one or a few kids stop by. They talk and he listens. Sometimes he asks leading questions that turn their thoughts in a new direction. He takes the time, even if they still hang around after the end of a long school day.

Always, George takes care that his door stays open.

When a student finishes talking it out George usually assures them that he can tell they are strong and that he knows they will work it out. Most of the time that's all they need.

Sometimes he advises them to talk to a particular teacher or counselor. If he spots a youngster who seems deeply troubled, he quietly alerts faculty members who could come alongside.

Every now and then a kid will tell him, "You're my best friend in all the world, George. Nobody else cares."

Sandy worked behind the counter of a roller skating rink

On weekends and vacation times that rink also served as a hangout for middle- and high-schoolers with too much time on their hands. Her official job was to check everyone in and hand out skates.

Sandy didn't stop with that. She also settled arguments, usually by listening to both sides and then helping the kids get a better perspective. Her clear eyes saw everything, including young couples who couldn't keep their hands off each other.

"They're good kids, most of 'em," she said, "but a few have no one at home because their parents work late. That's why they hang around here–and why they talk to me. Some of their questions are 'lulus,' let me tell you! Everything from faith to sex to fear their parents might be getting a divorce."

That's when Sandy smiled, her face alight with real affection. "They need someone they can talk to. That makes me glad I can be here and that I have time to listen. I give out lots of hugs and I get hugged back. I guess for some of those kids I'm like another mom–and it's good for me to be needed, too."

Let's drop the word "just" when talking about what we do

You're not "just" a mom or a dad. You are raising the next generation. What could be more important than that? You are the one(s) in charge of your family's life and almost certainly, you set the tone for the atmosphere in your home.

You're not "just" a senior with time on your hands. You can use that extra time in so many ways, with your family, in your church and/or in your community. You are available and that enables you to be a blessing in ways that weren't possible earlier in your life.

You're not "just" a caregiver for a loved one. You are the one who–probably more than you know–makes it possible for that family member to feel still loved and valued, in spite of needing care.

You're not "just" a nurse or nurse's aide. You are the one who has the most direct contact with patients. You care for them–and probably with a smile that doesn't quit. You speak hope when they are depressed and encourage them.

You're not "just" the employee who keeps the business or restaurant tidy, including the restrooms. Because of your quiet work in the background, customers relax and feel confidence that things are done as they should be.

The list goes on and on. Endlessly.

Adding value to what we do as individuals

However we spend our days we can make life better for ourselves and others without much extra effort, often with words alone.

It's as the writer of Proverbs says in 25:11 (ESV):

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.

A friend suggested the other day that instead of the cliche, "Have a nice day," we Christians easily could say, "May God give you a good day."

Or when someone asks, "How are you?" we could do better than reply with our standard "I'm fine." We could answer with something like, "I'm blessed and thankful, and I hope you are, too."

Suppose we took the words of the Apostle Paul seriously

Finally, brothers [and sisters,] whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV

What if you and I made it our "job" to live out those words? Whatever else we do each day, we could embody these truths and let it come through in our ordinary conversations and our everyday responsibilities. Think how that could change our days–and every interaction with other people.

This may sound small and unimportant, but trust me: The results(s) could be mighty.

Best of all, whatever our age or life situation, every one of can do this "small job, right now, wherever we are.

Ready, set, go!

Lenore

Forget the old definitions: There are no small jobs

October 29, 2021
Have you noticed how easily we overlook individuals who don't have a lot of flash and dash?

We applaud those who show great bravery at times of danger and disaster–and we should. They're easy to spot.

But we often miss the soft-spoken people who serve in the background and keep on doing it. People like "Marian," a woman I met at a convention when we ended up next to each other at lunch.

We talked about the morning's spiritual growth workshop. Marian said, "I always think maybe this time I'll figure out what I'm equipped to do for the Lord, but I still don't know.

"It's not because I haven't tried, but I just can't find my place, like in my church. I get tongue-tied in front of a group. Can't play an instrument, can't even carry a tune.

"I've tried teaching, but the problem is I never want to be up front."

She sighed as she got up to leave and said, "I think when the good Lord was giving out gifts, He just passed me by."

Later that day I met "Kate"

She said, "I saw you talking to Marian. Years ago she belonged to my little church.

"We don't have enough members to have lots of committees and boards and meetings. When something needs doing, we all just pitch in to get it done. This works real well for us most of the time. Or it did for a long time.

"Then one Sunday Fred had to run to the convenience store and buy coffee before he could get the coffeepot going. After church we regulars drank our coffee and talked, like we always do.

"Fred told us about the empty supply cupboard. Doris said she couldn't find any cleaning supplies when it was her turn to clean. That never happened before. Then Joe said, 'The last few Sundays I got here early, like always, and had to sweep off the church steps and sidewalks. Never had to do that before.'

"Marge said, 'Sounds like things are falling apart around here. What's changed?'"

The rest of the story

Kate shifted in her chair. "Then my husband said, 'Only one change I can think of: Marian moved away.'"

"We looked at each other and it was like that Bible verse about scales falling from our eyes. Marian never missed church and always sat in the same pew. A nice, quiet lady who always served food at potlucks and then washed up dishes afterwards.

"Somehow we never guessed that on her own she stocked us up on supplies and swept the walks–and who knows what else? George said he'd been treasurer for years and Marian never turned in a bill.

"We all felt terrible," Kate said. "We wrote letters to her and all that, but how do you make up for never noticing, never saying 'Thanks' while she was with us?

"I'm ashamed to say we never really saw Marian for who she was."

Don't we all do that, even with people we love?

For instance, we parents sometimes fall into that trap with our children.

We assume our "good kid," the one who almost never worries us and always finishes homework and chores–doesn't need our attention or our praise.

On the other hand, our child who struggles, the one who keeps us frustrated–and praying–gets extra time and we're ready to applaud every little accomplishment. We tell ourselves that one needs it more.

That's understandable, sure, but is it fair?

It can happen in a marriage, too

It's easy for a husband and wife to get used to their couple style and just bump around in the same life hardly noticing each other. Over time that can rob a marriage of its sparkle.

Or one spouse may under-value the fact their mate has a faithful, giving heart full of love and say, "Oh well, that's just how he (or she) is."

Words like that make it sound as if it costs nothing to be loving and to be one who can be counted on because "that's just how they are."

In marriage–and in life–it's way too easy to take a person's love and support for granted, as we do having air to breathe.

The one who feels unappreciated may think, Why bother?

Always, love is an action verb

The good, quiet people live in the same world as everyone else. They face pressures and get tired and sometimes want to quit, too.

But they don't. They stay.

They keep doing what needs doing and what they're supposed to do, without reminders. Without being noticed. All the while they're living out love.

Do we see them? (And cherish them if we live with them?)

Do we tell them we appreciate them and their generous hearts?

Do we let them know they are loved?

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.                                                            Proverbs 25:11 ESV

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. Philippians 1:3 ESV

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34 ESV

This Thanksgiving season let's express what we feel

Let's resolve to say "Thank you" more often. Let's say that word, write that note, make that call now.

Who do you know that's a hero who keeps on keepin' on and could use a verbal pat on the back?

Who do you know that needs your good words?

Still learning, always,

Lenore

Let’s open our eyes to all the quiet heroes in our midst

November 11, 2020
Every news broadcast reminds us that just breathing could be dangerous.

Covid-19 is everywhere and it feels as if everything changed overnight.

We are smack up against the truth that life is hard and beyond our control.

It's astonishingly easy to be a sponge and absorb the constant stream of bad news and scary warnings on all sides.

Then we fall into the trap of expecting the worst, justifying it by explaining we just want to be ready for what comes.

Who wants to live that way?

Re-think your thinking

You and I cannot change the world or what's happening, but we can change where we fasten our thoughts.

Whatever our personal situation may be, here's what we know for rock-bottom sure:

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. –Hebrews 13:8

Does that make us immune to hurting when someone we love becomes ill or dies? Do we laugh at job loss? Do we feel nothing when crises wipe out retirement savings?

Of course not. The difference is we don't give in and park our minds in Pity Land.

If anyone knew about suffering, it was the Apostle Paul. Try reading his words aloud and listen with your heart.

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this is all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed … Therefore, we do not lose heart.    –2 Corinthians 4:6-9, 16a

I believe every word of these passages, yet I confess, this "jar of clay" sometimes gets discouraged, too

That's why I love this phrase from Psalm 103:14:

. . . for he remembers that we are dust.

Whenever I start beating up on myself for not being the shining strong example of faith I want to be, I think of these wonderful words and remind myself I am only dust.

Imperfect.

Human.

But loved by God, who knows my weaknesses and loves me simply because I love Jesus. That means I can forgive myself and move on.

So can you.

We see what we look for

Once the question of who we are in Christ is settled in our minds we look at life from a different perspective.

We let go of the "victim mindset" and accept that life can be hard but like Paul, we may be down but we are are not destroyed.

Here's what God said to His people through Moses–and to you and me.

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life . . . –Deuteronomy 30:19-20

That means every morning–every moment, really–we decide: Will I choose life?

Because that makes all the difference.

Still learning, too,

Lenore

Encouragement for our down times

May 3, 2020
Even though I live in California, winter's dark mornings and short afternoons drag me down.

Forgive me, all you Midwesterners and Easterners who deal with REAL winter. I admit it, I'm a wimp.

When the days start getting shorter my energy levels drop and I gradually notice that I feel less cheery. I hear hot cocoa and a crackling fire calling my name.

Once people called it "the winter blues."

Now it's known as "SAD."

How about you?

If your days feel gray, too, the experts tell us we might have SAD. – Seasonal Affective Disorder. The farther we live from the Equator, the shorter our daylight hours and the more likely it is that we have S.A.D.

That may sound like a fake condition, but here's what the Mayo Clinic website says about how shorter daylight hours affect our bodies:

The specific cause of seasonal affective disorder remains unknown. Some factors that may come into play include:

Your biological clock (circadian rhythm). The reduced level of sunlight in fall and winter may cause winter-onset SAD. This decrease in sunlight may disrupt your body's internal clock and lead to feelings of depression.

Serotonin levels. A drop in serotonin, a brain chemical (neurotransmitter) that affects mood, might play a role in SAD. Reduced sunlight can cause a drop in serotonin that may trigger depression.

Melatonin levels. The change in season can disrupt the balance of the body's level of melatonin, which plays a role in sleep patterns and mood.

If you want to read more about SAD go to http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/basics/causes/con-20021047

Avoiding the downward slide

The problem is when we feel down, our thoughts are, well, less positive.

And have you noticed how one dark thought begets another? I like the way that brilliant poet, "Anonymous," puts it.

Your mind is a garden,

your thoughts are the seeds.

You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.

All day long, with no conscious effort we drop "seeds"–random thoughts that come and go–into our minds.

Those fleeting thoughts become the background noise of our lives

We tell ourselves we pay no attention to street noise, for example, except we do. We can't help but register it at some level.

I've found it takes a lot of discipline and prayer to overcome letting my mood go dark.

It helps to keep telling myself what I know is true:

Whether we think we're happy or not depends on what we ask ourselves. And tell ourselves.

Whatever our situation–and whatever the season–our thoughts determine how we live and relate to the people around us.

Dealing with down days

Let's face it, some days we're in the pits–even in the midst of summer.

It helps me to write Bible verses that lift my heart on sticky notes and post them around the house. Storing verses in smartphones and tablets allow instant access, too, as do index cards tucked in a pocket or purse.

For starters, here are verses that speak to me:

"I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" –Jeremiah 32:27

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. –Joshua 1:9

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak . . . those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. –Isaiah 40:29, 31

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he [or she] is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! –2 Corinthians 5:17

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. –Ephesians 3:20-21

I know of no better way to drive out the dark than to focus on the Son and bask in God's love for us.

Why not share some of your favorite verses in the Comments section below?

Still growing,

Lenore

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January 8, 2015
Am I excited? You betcha.

The longest pregnancy in the history of the world is about to end. Delivery date is near, about June 7th, and I'm getting anxious to hold my "baby" in my arms, um, hands. I already know this one will not look a bit like my husband or me.

But anyone who takes a good long look will know she's mine.

Maybe you already guessed I'm talking about my new book. Want a sneak peek at the cover? Here she is–and I think she's beautiful.

She has a rather long name. Godly Moms: Strength from the Inside Out.

This "baby" came to be because I love being a mom and I've known so many great moms.

Somehow these days being a mother seems to get less respect. Think of that expression, "I'm just a mom."

As if. As if any mom is "just" anything.

During the growing-up years of our four girls, I wasn't sure. Now I have a longer perspective. We moms leave our imprint on our children, sure, but also on generations yet to be born.

That's not a "just!"

Now I know by experience as well as by faith that when we struggle and stumble and pray, "Help me, please!" God hears. He helps us through.

Godly Moms is the book I yearned for, but never found

This is my fifth book, but the first time I've had such a clear sense I had to write it.

That's because I talk to many moms, wonderful moms, who are trying with all that's in them to be good mothers. They often feel so immersed in motherhood they fear they're losing who they are and imagine any flunkie could do what they do.

I well remember that feeling.

Now I know for sure that being a mom matters more than any mom ever knows while she's in the middle of the hectic years and falling into bed every night, exhausted.

My passion is for moms to understand this in-the-midst, rather than later on as they look back.

In my small way I want this book to provide the reassurance I so much longed to have.

A mom has lasting influence

What's more, we get to choose whether that will be positive or negative.

God puts us moms and our children together. That's just as true for mothers who adopt and with stepmoms.

Someone reading this is saying, "You wouldn't talk that way if you had my child. That kid is driving me crazy!"

Oh yes I would. I walked that same stormy path for years and prayed for strength all day, every day. That's why I read and studied about parenting and family relationships, which turned out to be a great blessing.

At the time I didn't realize how much I was growing within myself and in faith and knowledge. You might say our daughters provided me with an ongoing personal growth program and I wouldn't trade those years for anything. Truly, I thank God for them–and for our family.

Godly Moms: Strength from the Inside Out. What's that all about?

Maybe it sounds intimidating to you. Not to worry.

A "godly mom" is a Christian mom who teaches her children to love Jesus and treats them with love, kindness and encouragement.

"Strength from the inside out" means she knows the source of the help and strength it takes to rear children. She wants her kids to know that same inner strength and possess it as well.

It's as 2 Corinthians 3:5 ((ESV) puts it:

Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.

By the way, that verse applies to me writing Godly Moms, too. I await its "birth" with a thankful and humble heart and pray it will be a blessing.

With love from another mom,

Lenore

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May 15, 2013