Category: Facing Challenges

Even when we know our life is good, it can feel overwhelming at times

Even if we're living out our dream. Even when we know we're blessed. Even–surprisingly–though we may be living our dream.

Today, when that old, old feeling strikes me, I go back to what I discovered as a frazzled young mom.

Living on overload was dragging me down. But how to get a grip?

Was I praying? Absolutely. I could see God's goodness in our life, but most days I felt myself hustling just to keep up on the basics.

I needed more. I needed some sort of a practical action plan. A stronger, wiser way of looking at people and my life.

From that crisis point I went back to school, so to speak. Any tidbit of time I could manage I first read the Bible and fed my soul. I scoured our daily newspaper and clipped useful articles. I tore out magazine articles and pored over good self-help books. I kept a notebook where I copied out the best sections and jotted down notes.

Enter Dr. Crane, who offered advice, free for the taking

His column ran regularly in our newspaper. His down-to-earth approach to life appealed to me. This professional's syndicated column, "Dr. Crane Says," ran in newspapers all over the USA. Later I learned his column already had been running for decades when I found it for myself.

Each time I found useful pointers for living. Even then I knew it was genius to take lengthy principles for mental health and boil them down to their essence, so that readers of any educational level could understand them.

Back then it seemed groundbreaking when Dr. Crane's "Just for Today" piece appeared. Over the years I noticed he reran it periodically, always explaining it cut down on constant requests for reprints.

The first time I read it I taped it to a cupboard door and reread it at least once a day. His simple wisdom painted a picture for me of what it would look like to live richly and feel I had some control over my life. It laid out a clear track that anyone could follow.

Recently I ran across this old friend again

Obviously, I'm not the only reader who prized Dr. Crane's practical wisdom. Since this piece now is in the public domain, I pass it on in its original 1921 version. May you, too, find these timeless words useful and helpful. Even today, they speak to my heart. May they speak to yours, too.

                                                        JUST FOR TODAY

Here are ten resolutions to make when you awake in the morning.

They are Just for One Day. Think of them not as a life task but as a day’s work.

These things will give you pleasure. Yet they require will power. You don’t need resolutions to do what is easy.

1. Just for Today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life-problem at once. I can do some things for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep them up for a lifetime.

2. Just for Today, I will be Happy. This assumes that what Abraham Lincoln said is true, that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Happiness is from Within; it is not a matter of Externals.

3. Just for Today, I will Adjust myself to what Is, and not try to Adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my family, my business, and my luck as they come, and fit myself to them.

4. Just for Today, I will take care of my Body. I will exercise it, care for it, and nourish it, and not abuse it nor neglect it; so that it will be a perfect machine for my will.

5. Just for Today, I will try to strengthen my mind, I will study. I will learn something useful, I will not be a mental loafer all day. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

6. Just for Today, I will exercise my Soul. In three ways, to wit:

    (a) I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count.

    (b) I will do at least two things I don’t want to do, as William James suggests, just for exercise.

    (c) I will not show any one that my feelings are hurt. They may be hurt, but Today I will not show it.

7. Just for Today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress as becomingly as possible, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with flattery, criticize not one bit nor find fault with anything, and not try to regulate nor improve anybody.

8. Just for Today, I will have a Programme. I will write down just what I expect to do every hour. I may not follow it exactly, but I’ll have it. It will save me from the two pests, Hurry and Indecision.

9. Just for Today, I will have a quiet half hour, all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, some time, I will think of God, so as to get a little more perspective to my life.

10. Just for Today, I will be Unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to be Happy, to enjoy what is Beautiful, to love and to believe that those I love love me.

Even today, in 2021, the plan points us toward sound mental health, doesn't it? Most refreshing of all, there's not one word of controversy or fear or politics.

Does the list sound too daunting to master? First let's remind ourselves this is a list to work toward, not one one which we either pass or fail. It's like a road map that points toward an attractive destination.

Besides, we're not in this alone. Today and every day, our Best Friend is with us and strengthens us. Here's the key Bible verse that proves that.

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.                                                             Philippians 4:13

Just for Today, with God's help, we'll make it through.

Still growing, too,

Lenore

How to make it through the not-so-good days

October 12, 2021
For a moment or two, let your mind wander and picture this . . .

You finally managed to buy your longtime dream, a home deep in beautiful, wooded mountain country in California.

Tranquil lakes and streams. Towering evergreens up close or on the next hill. Room to breathe. Peaceful, blessed quiet, except for the calming sounds of Nature all around.

However you spend your days, whether hiking one of the many trails that thread through the forest or just sitting in your front-porch rocker, you're at peace.

Several times a day you think, All those years I (or we) worked hard to get here and it was so, so worth it!

At night, looking into the deep blue sky and counting stars or watching the logs in your fireplace ebb down into embers, you say, "Life couldn't be better. What a blessing!"

And then comes the horror

For some, it came late at night, for others, in broad daylight.

Engrossed in what you were doing–or perhaps sleeping soundly–you're roused by someone pounding on your front door.

There stands a frantic smoke-blackened firefighter. He yells, "You must leave! NOW! You only have minutes! You have no time to grab any belongings. Just go!

"Get your family members and RUN!"

For any of us, life as we know it can fall apart in an instant

All it takes is a phone call. A bad fall. A car accident with devastating injuries. Biopsy or lab test results we prayed never to hear. Someone we love hit by disease or a heart attack. Or a devastating injury. Or death that claims the earthly life of one we thought we couldn't live without.

Or it may be "impersonal," such as a business closing–and with it, the end of a job or career that enabled us to pay the bills. Job changes that call for retraining–or starting over. A landlord that sells the home we live in, leaving us with nowhere to go that we can afford.

Whatever the cause, many of us have lived it, sometimes more than once. Or we know someone who has. In times like that, tragedy can overwhelm our spirits and snuff out hope.

How do we go on?

Whatever comes, we cling to Truth that outlasts any trial, any catastrophe

When we're in pain because our world is falling apart, it feels natural to lapse into anxiety and fear. We're tempted to pull our pain around us like a warm quilt. Why not? Everyone would understand.

Here's the question each of us must answer for ourselves: Is that really how we want to live?

Most of us would answer "No."

Still, how do we hold it together? How do we find strength to go on?

Answer: We do the hard thing: We fight for it.

We deliberately–as if we were changing channels on a TV–fill our minds with reminders from the Bible that our kind and merciful God has not turned his back on us.

We repeat the verse or verses aloud if that's the only way to drown out the fear. We whisper them at night when we cannot go to sleep, sometimes over and over until sleep comes.

Start with reassuring Bible verses like these

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. –Psalm 46:1-2

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. –Deuteronomy 31:8

I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. –John 16:33

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.   –Isaiah 41:10

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. –John 14:27

Make these verses–and others like them–the refrain of your life

Promise yourself you will stop saying–and thinking, "I don't know how I will get through this."

Say instead, "With God's help, I will get through this. Moment by moment. Day by day."

When fear intrudes–and it will, mentally shout "Stop!" and emphatically turn your thoughts to the One who loved us enough to die on the cross so that we can be at peace with God.

He is the One who told his followers–and us: "Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." –Matthew 28:20.

We do not walk alone.

We do not face our troubles on our own.

Whatever comes into our lives, God will give us the strength to get through whatever comes.

In every situation, we depend on Him, not on ourselves. And so we survive–and get through–whatever comes.

Hanging on tight,

Lenore

Here’s help for when life falls apart

September 2, 2021
Whether this lovely story is fact or folklore, it has a message for us all as we try to cope with the challenges of life

The mother of a young son, let's call her "Amelia," read in her morning paper that the world-famous pianist Igor Paderewski was giving a concert in their city. Right away she telephoned the box office and reserved two tickets.

She had good reason to want those tickets.

The night before, her otherwise-sweet son, "Aiden" had marched out to the kitchen and said, "Mama, I hate taking piano lessons and I hate practicing every day and I wanna quit! Now!"

Amelia told him he could have a break for a couple of days. Then she racked her brain for what to do.

That's when she read of the concert

Once she had ordered the tickets she told her boy, "We'll talk about piano lessons next week, Aiden. But first you and I are going to have an adventure. A famous piano artist is visiting our city that day. His name is Igor Paderewski and he performs all over the world. I really want to hear him, but I don't want to go to that concert alone.

"How about I take you out of school on Thursday and we can can go downtown together? If you'll go with me we'll have hamburgers and ice cream sodas or whatever you want for lunch. Then after the concert is over I'll take you to my favorite dessert place and you can order anything you want."

What kid would turn down an offer like that?

The day of the concert the pair arrived early at the concert hall

Soon after they found their seats Amelia spotted an old friend a few aisles over and went down to say Hello. The two hadn't seen each other for over a year, so they didn't stop with Hello.

Within a few minutes her son did what young boys do. He whistled and fidgeted and squirmed in his seat. After a few minutes he went exploring. Eventually Aiden came to a door marked, "No Admittance" and walked through it.

As soon as the house lights dimmed and the audience grew quiet, his mother returned to her seat. That's when she discovered her son was missing.

Just then the stage curtains parted

Spotlights from above and footlights from in front focused on the huge, gleaming Steinway grand piano in the middle of the stage. There sat her Aiden at the keyboard, calmly plunking out the only song he knew from memory: "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

Before Amelia had time to think the great piano master walked onstage. The audience greeted him with loud applause as he quickly moved to the piano.

Aiden never noticed.

At this his mother sank low into her seat, blushing bright red and dreading what would come next.

The great maestro leaned down and whispered into the boy's ear and the youngster kept playing

Paderewski stood behind Aiden and reaching down with his left hand, he began filling in a bass harmony. Soon he stretched his right arm around the other side of the child and added a running counter-melody.

Together, the master and the young boy made beautiful music and kept the audience mesmerized through several variations. At the end of the piece, they shook hands solemnly and bowed. The audience clapped and cheered as an usher escorted Aiden off the stage.

That performance became a one-of-a-kind experience that kept everyone in the concert hall talking long after–especially Amelia.

Over their hot fudge sundaes, Amelia asked Aiden, "I saw that Mr. Paderewski whispered in your ear. What did he say?"

"Aw, nuthin' special. He just said, 'Don't quit. Keep playing.' So I did."

Paderewski died in 1941, but the message of that tale is as fresh as a new calendar page

"Don't quit. Just keep playing."

So you and I do our best to meet the challenges of our lives, but the results aren't exactly graceful and flowing. We flounder on, playing our own version of "Twinkle, Twinkle … . "

At last we turn for help to the One who knows us best.

With Him, our oh-so-ordinary efforts often come together to be more than we could have imagined. The music of our lives becomes more beautiful than we could ever make on our own.

So the next time you set out to accomplish something that scares you silly, or you're at the end of your strength, stop and listen carefully. You'll hear our loving Lord whispering, "Don't quit. Keep playing."

His strong hands are with us always, lifting us, helping us, enabling us to cope.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Our task is simply to keep going and keep on trusting. It's as Solomon said in Proverbs 3:5-6, here from The Message paraphrase:

Trust God from the bottom of your heart, don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.

No better advice for living could be found anywhere. I've found this promise to be true in my life.

How about you?

Still growing,

Lenore

Help for when you’re feeling in over your head

April 7, 2021
Sometimes a look back helps us take courage for today, especially when it reminds us that God watches over us, too. Here's one to lift your spirits.

On a cold winter morning, January 15, 2009, US Airways Flight 1549 took off from LaGuardia Airport.

Almost immediately the plane hit a large flock of geese, which disabled both engines. Pilots and everyone watching knew they had only minutes to find a place to land.

Only one possibility existed, the frigid Hudson River.

Every watcher agreed the crew and all 155 passengers would surely die, either inside the sinking plane, or by drowning or hypothermia. Rescuers simply could not reach them in time.

Yet every person on the plane made it out and lived.

Reporters breathlessly recounted what they called "the miracle on the Hudson." The name stuck.

Survivors never doubted the truth of that catchy slogan. No "expert" could explain what kept that plane afloat long enough for the rescue.

The same two loving, powerful hands hold us

Rex Babin's cartoon in The Sacramento Bee illustrates a great truth for every believer.

The eternal God is your refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms. Deuteronomy 33:27

The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:8

Day after day our Heavenly Father watches over us–and our loved ones–with the same tender care depicted in this cartoon.

By faith we know that's true.

On good days it's easier to feel the warmth of his smile and His love for us.

But when the bottom drops out of our world

We may forget and take our eyes off Jesus when trouble comes.

These are extraordinary times. It's as if we've been dropped into this Covid-19 pandemic and we're wondering how we got here. We want to gather with those we love and hug them close, but we're not supposed to leave our homes.

"Social distancing" leaves us without the human closeness that helps reassure us.

Instead we have tragedy and fear and scary numbers, over and over and over. And we can't help wondering, will our family members survive? Will we?

What will happen afterward–and what will life look like then?

No one can say and we quake within, wondering. But our loving Father says,

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:1

Our call is to keep trusting, whatever comes.

Counter fear with Truth

It helps to take time reading God's written word, the Bible, and plant his truths in our minds and hearts.

Repeating verses aloud can help us get through whatever comes. Remembering them when we wake with a racing heart helps quiet our anxiety.

You probably have your own favorites. Here are some of mine, all NIV unless noted.

Cast all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. Psalm 29:11

You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3 NKJV

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

Our loving Father holds each of us safe and secure. And because of Jesus, he looks at us with love.

Yes, that goes beyond our human understanding–and it's meant to, for He is Almighty God and we are only human.

Today and every day, may you know His peace.

Lenore

Verse Concepts

The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

– See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Faithfulness-Of#sthash.mZBd0t36.dpuf

Lamentations 3:22-23

Verse Concepts

The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

– See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/God,-Faithfulness-Of#sthash.mZBd0t36.dpL

How every day of our lives is our own “miracle on the Hudson”

April 17, 2020
Have you ever doubted your ability to give your children what they need?

Most of us have. Then it's good to remind ourselves about individuals who overcame big challenges and reared solid families.

My favorite example is Sonya Carson. I've admired her ever since her younger son, Ben–yes, that Ben Carson–held our convention audience spellbound as he told of his growing-up years.

Sonya coped with challenges most of us can't imagine.

She only completed Grade 3 in school

At age 13 she married 28 year-old Robert Carson

They moved to Detroit after he finished his U.S. Army service

Son Curtis arrived when Sonya was 20 and Ben, two years later

Five years later she discovered her husband "forgot" to mention his other (first) wife and children–and still supported them

Within two years Sonya and Robert separated, then she divorced him

She and the boys moved in with relatives in Boston

Two years later the Sonya and her boys moved back to Detroit and into subsidized housing

Sonya was determined to provide for her family

She took whatever honest low-skills, low-pay jobs she could find, working two or three at a time. She left before dawn and came home late, often finding her sons asleep in front of the television set.

Each day the boys got themselves up, then walked along the railroad track to school. Classmates called fifth-grader Ben the dumbest kid in class and made jokes about him.

Almost every Sunday the trio attended their church at least once.

One day he brought home a report card that changed his life

His mother was not happy. "You're a smart boy, Bennie! I know you can do better! If you keep up like this, you'll end up sweeping floors or on skid row. That's not the kind of life I want for you–and neither does God."

Sonya turned to God, whom she calls her friend and partner, and asked for wisdom.

A day or so later she announced new rules and pledged her sons to honor them.

Come home home immediately after school

No playing outside until after homework is done

Be inside the apartment by sunset, with doors locked; Halls and public areas are dangerous

Only two TV programs per week–after homework

Each week read two books from the neighborhood public library and write a book report

Mother will critique each book report

The boys complained and friends criticized, but nothing swayed Sonya

She told them, "I know you boys have good minds. If you can read, you can learn just about anything you want to know. The doors of the world are open to people who can read."

Before long the friendly public librarians knew both boys well. Each week Sonya Carson carefully read their book reports, asking questions and offering encouragement. (For years it didn't occur to her sons she might not understand every word she read.)

First Bennie read his way through the section on animals and then tackled books about rocks. The crushed rocks along the track now fascinated him. By the middle of his sixth grade, Benjamin led his class.

Ben's biggest challenge

All along Ben struggled with his violent temper, which led to frequent confrontations with classmates. The turning point came when he was 14 and stabbed a friend. Only that boy's heavy metal belt buckle saved his life.

Ben ran home and locked himself in the bathroom with his Bible. He stayed there for hours, asking God to help him deal with his temper. He found many verses about anger in the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs 16:32 pierced his heart:

"Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city."

Ben vowed that with God's help, he would control his anger, rather than let his anger control him. After that his temper no longer troubled him.

Sonya's plan pays big dividends

From then on Ben poured himself into his studies, graduated high school, entered Yale in 1969, then went on to medical school. (Older brother Curtis, became an engineer and designed airplane parts.) At age 33, Benjamin Solomon Carson, M.D., became the director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins. He pioneered in separating co-joined (Siamese) twins.

A committed Christian, he still reads from the Book of Proverbs, morning and evening.

Like Mother, like son

Ben discounts the lifetime effect of poverty and racial prejudice.

"The person who has the most to do with who you are and what you become is you."

"My mother used to say, 'If you walk into an auditorium full of racist, bigoted people … you don't have a problem, they have a problem …'

His philosophy probably stems from from Sonya Carson's frequent admonition to her sons:

"You do your best and God will do the rest."

She lived that principle herself. "My job was to prepare them. And I turned to God for help every inch of the way."

You are equipped to rear your kids

You'll have days you feel life is too hard or think you lack what it takes. If money is tight, you may fear you're shortchanging your children.

Then call Sonya Carson and her courage to mind. Think of the rich gifts she gave her sons in that dismal setting! She spoke courage when she didn't know how she'd get through the week. She set limits for her children, always speaking faith and confidence. They grew strong from within–and so did she.

Not once did she walk alone. Neither do you, if, like Sonya, God is your friend and your partner.

Blessings,

Lenore
Take heart, Mom. You are your child’s biggest “advantage” in life

March 8, 2017
"Ordinary" people who perform heroically usually amaze the rest of us, especially when they seem unimpressed with themselves.

Here's one you won't forget. Meet Nico Calabria, age 20, a standout in every way.

Photo by Carl Calabria

After Nico's birth doctors told his parents their son would never lead a normal life.

Could never lead a normal life.

Yet at Concord-Carlisle (MA) High School he played on the varsity soccer team and the varsity wrestling team.

As a 19-year old he was one of five amateur football (soccer) players featured in Powerade's 2014 FIFA World Cup ad campaign.

Even earlier, at age 13, he climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, the 19,341 ft. peak, set a world record and, by the way, raised $100,000 to provide free wheelchairs to needy people in Tanzania.

He did it all on crutches.

Nico was born without a right hip or leg.

His fascination with soccer balls started early

He first picked one up and played with it as a toddler. An unlikely toy? Sure, but his parents never discouraged him and Nico never viewed his disability as an excuse not to try.

As he told interviewer Mihaela Husar of "Impresive" magazine, "It was hard sometimes, but my family always had a 'no excuse, tough love mentality' when it came to overcoming challenges."

That's easy to say, hard to carry out for any mom or dad, but especially when their child has a disability.

We get a glimpse of Nico growing up

The ad agency hired by PowerAde sports drink produced this heartwarming video about Nico's life when he was chosen to be a member of Team USA of the American Amputee Soccer Association which in 2014 competed in the World Cup.

YouTube picked it up and it immediately went viral.

For Nico it's all about doing what he loves

Nico tells his "Impresive" interviewer some people think he's trying to make a statement by playing soccer with able-bodied people. Not true. He says he never gave up because, "I just love playing soccer."

It helps that he has no hangups about what he can or cannot do.

"I look at disabilities as 'differences in ability.' There's an important distinction. The definition of 'disabled' is basically a long list of synonyms that don't describe me…like 'crippled' and 'weak'."

PowerAde's global communication manager says Nico redefines our outlook on challenges. "Having one leg was his reality, so he chose to view it as an asset rather than a hindrance. … That's what we loved about him."

Here's life according to Nico at age 18: "I've got one leg. You get one life. I'm not going to let the hand I was dealt in life dictate what my life is going to be."

What holds the rest of us back?

It took me way too long to understand the basic, obvious fact that everything hinges on how we think and what we think.

Whatever the circumstances of our life may be, what we think is most important.

That's just as true for you and me as it is for Nico Calabria.

I need to keep reminding myself of that truth, so I collect quotes. Here are some favorites. Each one has at times been on a sticky note on my bathroom mirror or tacked to the bulletin board above my computer.

Life is 10 percent what you make it and 90 percent how you take it. –Irving Berlin

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right. –Henry Ford

Never, never, never give up! –Winston Churchill

The bottom line for us as Christians

You and I face different challenges, but each one of us has difficulties to overcome. How we look at our lives makes all the difference.

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. –Proverbs 23:7 NLT

For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control. –2 Tim. 1:7 ESV

We know we're not alone. For us, it's God who gives us the right spirit and supplies what we need to live the life He has given us.

That certainty will carry us through each day, each challenge. Count on it.

Still learning,

Lenore

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Look what can happen if we stamp out two words: " I can't"

Don't miss the wonder of your life!
Are heroes born or made? You decide

February 10, 2016
This is a story about overcoming BIG obstacles.

This little charmer was born in 1987, to a mother and father who walked away from the hospital and left her behind.

Permanently.

Enter Sharon and Gerald Bricker, two "ordinary" people who live in tiny Hardinville, IL.

They already had three sons, but Sharon always yearned for a daughter. She told a reporter, "I prayed, 'God give me a little girl that needs a family as bad as I need a little girl.'"

He did.

When the couple learned this 3-month old baby girl was available for adoption they were ready to jump at the chance.

There was just one little thing: She was born without legs.

No matter, they decided. The Brickers quickly applied to adopt, signed all the paperwork, took her home and named her Jennifer.

These two knew from the beginning that their new daughter would require all the love they could give her.

Meet Jennifer Bricker today, champion acrobat and aerialist

She and her parents tell their story on an unforgettable YouTube, titled: "Never say can't." www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho9M6r5RF4A

I've watched it several times and one word comes through to me: Courage.

Courage for Jennifer, of course, but also for Sharon and Gerald, all the way through.

They come across as two good people, solid and strong, who stepped out in faith.

These two non-experts simply loved their child and believed in her. Because of Sharon's earlier remarks, it's safe to say they prayed, probably every minute of every day.

I consider these parents as amazing as their daughter.

In the Bricker family, the same rule applied to everyone

Jennifer traces her attitude to the one simple rule her parents gave her: "Never say 'can't.'"

She remembers them telling her again and again, "'Can't' is not part of your vocabulary. If you just put your mind to it, you can do it."

"If you're never given limits," she says, "then you think, 'I can do anything!'"

So this little "handicapped" girl decided she could be a tumbler, a gymnast and nothing would stop her.

Finding courage to go on

When I imagine Sharon and Gerald Bricker's life. I think how easy and loving and "right" it would have seemed to tell their daughter, "Honey, I'm sorry. You can't be a tumbler because you have no legs . . . You can't play basketball because without legs you couldn't be fast enough . . . You can't play baseball because how could you run the bases?"

And all their friends and neighbors would have said, "You did the right thing. It's a shame, but in her situation how could little Jennifer even think such a thing?"

It took courage to let their daughter try and keep on trying and experience the disappointment and pain until she mastered the skills.

Suppose we, too, adopted "Never say can't" as our motto

What if we removed "can't" from our vocabulary? Or refused to allow it as an excuse within our family?

It sounds almost counter-cultural, doesn't it?

Whatever age we are, it takes courage to murder the word, "can't," and push ourselves to grow stronger and to persevere when it's hard.

Maybe it sounds too simple, but as Christians we know where to find strength and courage to go on. Here are a couple of verses that remind us we are never alone:

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. –Isaiah 41:10

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. –Philippians 4:13

Still learning, too,

Lenore

Note: Because Jennifer Bricker was interviewed on "Family Life Today" on July 15, 2015, it seemed worthwhile to re-post this. She makes us believe we can handle anything, doesn't she?

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July 15, 2015
Maybe you never thought about Maya Angelou until now, after her recent death, when everyone's talking about her.

Maybe you wonder what's the big deal?

I sometimes disagreed with her views , but I admire how she came through a harsh childhood and grew into a calm, balanced woman of accomplishment.

How did she do it?

I think it traces back to her stable, loving grandmother, who spoke faith and hope into this hurting little girl. When Maya was three her dysfunctional father plunked her down to live with his mother-in-law, then four years later snatched her backto live with her mother.

When Maya was eight, her mother's boyfriend raped her. She confided in her older brother, who told the family. The rapist was tried, convicted and jailed.

For one day.

Shortly thereafter, someone murdered him. Blaming herself for the man's death, Maya stopped talking . . . for five years.

The two siblings were sent to live with Grandma, who provided a solid home, frequently reassuring them of Christ's love for them.

How does one survive such experiences?

We can learn a lot from Maya about overcoming pain. Her writings and interviews reveal what kept her from bitterness.

Faith in God:
"I believed that there was a God because I was told it by my grandmother and later by other adults. But when I found that I knew not only that there was God but that I was a child of God, when I understood that, when I comprehended that, more than that, when I internalized that, ingested that, I became courageous."

Take the long view:
"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

Choose to take a positive view of life:
"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

Forgive:
"You can't forgive without loving. And I don't mean sentimentality. I don't mean mush. I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, 'I forgive. I'm finished with it.'

Be authentic:
"If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers.”

Be kind:
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Recognize your impact on others:
"Each of us, famous or infamous, is a role model for somebody, and if we aren't, we should behave as though we are — cheerful, kind, loving, courteous. Because you can be sure someone is watching and taking deliberate and diligent notes.”

Remember that life is a gift:
Maya's prayer: "I want to thank you, Lord, for life and all that's in it. Thank you for the day and for the hour, and the minute.”

This kind of transformation can't be accomplished on our own

Maya's story reminded me of this verse, which reveals her secret.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. –2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

Maya Angelou was far from perfect, yet she was forgiven. In Christ, she was a new creation, freed from bitterness and hate.

That's what enabled her to be able to say, "I forgive. I'm finished with it"–and mean it.

You and I can have the same newness of mind and spirit. It's the gift that comes with believing in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior (John 3:16-17.)

Trusting, too,

Lenore

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June 2, 2014
Tornado roars through Moore, Oklahoma. How would we cope if this was where we used to live?

Imagine coming back to this.

Some residents returned to piles of rubble they couldn't see over.

Some found flat, empty spaces littered with debris. They could only trace in their minds where walls once stood.

All cried and hugged each other. Who wouldn't?

In memory their individual homes looked sweet and flawless, filled with precious possessions. The ordinary, boring routines of daily life transformed into cherished rituals.

Tragedy makes our vision clearer

How many interviews have you watched where Moore residents said something like, "Oh, it's all gone, but that doesn't matter. My family is okay. That's all that counts."

We forget that too easily, don't we?

Is it possible to possess that perspective without first suffering a tragedy?

I think we can. I think we must.

That's especially important for moms. In Moore, ten children died. Yes, the school children were with their teachers.

Even so, they faced their fears on their own.

That's life. Even young children spend most weekdays away from home. Older kids and teens, too. We moms can give them something indestructible to hang onto, whatever comes.

Something like this

First we teach our children they can talk to Jesus themselves. We stress that Jesus is with them, right here. Right now.

Songs are good, too. For generations godly moms and grandmas have been teaching, "Jesus Loves Me," to their little ones. Every Sunday School kid learns it, too. It goes like this:

Jesus loves me, this I know,

For the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong.

They are weak, but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me,

The Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me–He who died

Heaven's gate to open wide;

He will wash away my sin,

Let His little child come in.

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me,

The Bible tells me so.

–Anna B. Warner, in 1860, set to music by William Bradbury in 1862.

Picture one of those young children huddled down listening to the tornado roar down on them. Wouldn't repeating words like these over and over help them get through it?

We can't give away what we don't have

If we're to speak faith and confidence to our families and those around us we need to be equipped ourselves. We can store up verses like these so we'll have them ready to call up when we need them.

Here are some personal favorites:

*(God says) "Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me." –Psalm 59:15 (ESV)

*(Jesus says) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." –John 3:16

*(The Lord says) "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine . . . Do not be afraid, for I am with you . . . " –Isaiah 43:1, 5 (NIV)

Make verses like these part of our emergency kit

School kids in Moore had regular tornado drills. Let's take it one step further and aim to be emotionally and spiritually prepared for whatever comes–and our families, too.

Let's equip minds and spirits with what will carry us through.

Lovingly,

Lenore

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May 22, 2013
That's bad grammar, I know,

but the phrase imprinted itself on my mind ever since I attended an anti-stress workshop years ago. The leader began with those words and had us repeat it after him, again and again.

It's not a bad slogan for beginning a new year, especially after a year that featured lots of what someone labeled "stinkin' thinkin" on all sides.

Borrowing from that workshop leader, I say, "Enough, already!"

If we adopted that technique it would work like this

The leader would ask, Do you think it's hopeless because you lack some essential qualities to reach your goals? He had an answer: God don't make no junk!

Are you going through a rough patch in your marriage or in your job? Well, cheer up. God brought you and your spouse together and provided that job. And God don't make no junk!

Are you feeling in beyond your depth with being a mom or a dad? Never mind. God obviously considers you able to handle it or He wouldn't have made you a parent. Besides, God don't make no junk! Count on Him to supply wisdom as you need it and strength for each day.

Do you struggle with health problems? Do you or one of your kids have physical or mental challenges and you worry about what comes next? Take heart, you'll be able to handle it, because God don't make no junk!

A look into what this means

I thought of that workshop when I watched this wonderful YouTube a friend sent. Every time I play it, I smile through a few tears.

And can you hear those words? God don't make no junk!

I suggest we adopt a new slogan for 2013, one we can pull up anytime we're feeling unsure about life or the future.

God don't make no junk–and He don't make no mistakes, either.

You and I can walk unafraid, confident we'll be able to handle whatever comes.

For proof we can go deeper than that catch phrase and turn to Bible verses like this one, Psalm 29:11:

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his peoople with peace.

"His people" includes any of us who love the Lord, so this promise is for us, too.

Thanks for stopping by, my invisible friend. Hope you found something here that blesses your heart.

Love,

Lenore

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