Category: Faith Lived Out

After all, it dates back over centuries. How could the Bible still be relevant today?

This may sound like a logical question to many. I got a lesson in the "how" of it when my husband got a job promotion that kept the man I loved smiling from morning to night. Why wouldn't he? For years he had studied and taken extra training to move him toward that goal.

I rejoiced for him, truly I did, but I loved the place we were living. The place where I had established an identity and enjoyed interacting with other writers in the area.

We talked but managed to skirt around this touchy subject. I asked myself what would it accomplish to complain and rob him of his joy? I knew the answer: Nothing good.

Somehow, some way I would learn to love this new place.

Once we moved into our new digs my husband settled into his position as if it were tailored just for him. Morning to evening he was engrossed and energized.

Each day I watched his car fade from sight, then asked myself, Now what?

No answers came, but I clung to what I knew: Our loving God would not bless my husband and leave me, his wife, abandoned. I would wait.

"Be still and know that I am God …" Psalm 46:10 NIV

Finding my place

A month or two later I learned of the local chapter of the same Bible study a friend "back home" had often praised. Because I always wished I had her excitement about the Bible I decided to give it a try.

The next week I went to orientation and signed up. The teaching leader addressed the large audience of class members and us newbies, explaining the day's lesson based on Exodus, including Chapters 13 to 16.

She began with how God delivered the children of Israel from slavery

He parted the Red Sea and brought them across on dry land, a miracle for sure. Freedom! Yet soon they grumbled and complained against God's provision for them as they wandered in the wilderness.

Then she looked out at us and it seemed she looked directly at me. "Are you wandering around in a dry, dusty wilderness of your own making?"

At once I knew that I was! I was!

Then she moved on to how the children of Israel yearned for the abundant meats and fresh produce back in Egypt–where they had been slaves. Our merciful God provided fresh, bountiful supplies of Manna and quail for each day, yet in no time they started griping about being tired of the same old, same old.

With her next question once again it seemed the leader fixed her gaze on me. "Are you murmuring against God's provision for you because it doesn't live up to your specifications?"

My heart started pounding. Immediately I knew the Holy Spirit had just spoken truth to my heart and mind through that stranger. I saw clearly that God moved us to that place for my husband, yes, but also for me.

Don't ask me how I knew. I just did.

I drove home asking God to forgive me for my weeks of self-centeredness. When my husband came home I asked his forgiveness, too, but that darling man shushed me and folded me into his love. Finally, he had his wife back.

From then on I read the Bible with new eyes

Now I knew firsthand the truth of Hebrews 4:12: "The word of God is living and active …" God's living Word spoke to me and changed me. For life.

Since then whenever I read the Bible I look for:

What do these verses say? What do they say to me?

What can I learn from this account, from these individuals, on ways to live–or not live?

What principles can I use in my life? Right now?

What's my takeaway?

Often these truths pop out at me. Other times I need to be quiet and ponder awhile, waiting for what comes to mind.

Or I think I know what a verse means and then find some new facet that's useful for my life.

One thing is sure. I never come away empty. God's Holy Spirit makes sure of that.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.   Romans 8:26 ESV

No worries about "doing it right"

It's no more complicated than this: Relax and be still.

All it takes is that we make the time and ask God the Holy Spirit to give us teachable hearts, to open the Word to our understanding and to reveal his Truth. Take a few notes–or don't. Then chew on what you've read throughout the day.

As for being in a Bible study group what's good is that we all learn from each other as we share how the Lord works in our lives. It can be the setting for sharing prayer needs and growing friendships, as well.

All Scripture is inspired by God is and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. 2 Timothy 3:16 NLT

Always, always, always, it helps to remind ourselves that as God's children through faith in Jesus, HE is with us and guiding us.

The surprise at the end

God did have a purpose for me in that move. I stayed in the Bible study and became a group leader, where I found new meaning and made friends. Two and one-half years later my husband received another promotion. Once again I knew it fit him exactly right and once again, I regretted leaving behind what I had grown to love.

This time I knew from experience that whatever God provided for my husband would also turn out to be right for me.

God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. 1 Corinthians 1:9 ESV

Still learning,

Lenore
Does the Bible still matter in our time?

October 25, 2022
We seldom think about the messages we send the world, but we should.

I got a shocking reminder of that truth one day when I was out shopping. A smiling white-haired lady who looked a bit like my late grandmother put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Aw, Honey, it can't be that bad."

I stared at her in confusion and said, "Excuse me? I don't know what you mean."

Eyes twinkling, she smiled and said, "Well, I noticed you look like you lost your last friend. I just want you to know whatever the trouble is, you'll get through it and it helps to smile. That's all.

"Now you take care of yourself, Sweetie. Whatever's going on with you, it's just life. Sometimes life is hard, but you can do hard, I know you can. You'll be okay."

I thanked her for caring, still mystified.

Then I passed a mirror–and stopped short. She was right. I did look grim.

Do you ever do that?

That day I realized I probably wore that face more often than I knew. Whether I label it "concentration" or "preoccupied," that face was not a good idea.

First, because pinching up one's face leads to (gasp!) wrinkles.

Second, because what people read on our faces affects their moods.

Third, because if we say we have the joy and peace of Jesus, we'd better look as if we do. Otherwise our words of faith sound empty.

Fourth–and just as important–it's not fair to the people in our world.

As someone said, we owe the world a happy face

Why? Because you and I affect the people around us. Our families. Our co-workers. Strangers in stores.

Each of them is walking around and dealing with their lives and their problems, which may be all they can manage at the moment. Why should they have to dredge up strength to keep from "catching" our bad moods?

If you're a mom or dad you probably know that when we parents crackle with tension our kids walk on tiptoe around us.

And if we live in Tension City our children pattern the behavior as the way to live. Our uptight way of coping with life becomes their "normal."

Yes, but "Nobody knows the trouble I seen . . . "

That old spiritual speaks truth, doesn't it? No one can know or feel exactly what another person is living with. As the song says, nobody knows our hurt and pain but Jesus, who says:

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 ESV

"Heavy laden." Don't we feel that way sometimes?

The NIV translates that verse:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Whether we're feeling overworked and over-stressed, weighed down by cares or stuck in a situation we cannot change, He can give us rest.

It's the only rest that lasts.

Eight hours of sleep or a nap refreshes temporarily, but deep-down rest for our hearts can be found only one place. In Jesus.

Life. It will wear us down, but Jesus lifts us up. Always.

The key is to turn our thoughts and our hearts to Him instead of getting mired in the problem-of-the-moment.

He's the One who carries us through each day on His shoulders, who turns our mourning into dancing.

(Jesus said) "I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 ESV

If we keep our eyes on Him we can be at peace, even during the hard times–and our faces will show it.

As that kindly lady in the store put it, "Whatever's going on with you, it's just life. Sometimes life is hard, but you can do hard, I know you can."

My friend, you can do hard, I know you can.

I wish you peace and joy in Jesus, today and every day,

Lenore
Be careful what your facial expression broadcasts

October 17, 2022
Sometimes God chooses unlikely ways to remind us we have a lot to be thankful for, doesn't He?

I won't forget the day I learned a lot by eavesdropping on someone else's conversation.

Let me explain.

One morning I stopped a local coffee shop and soon got jolted out of my private little pity party. (It wasn't much fun, anyway.)

The hostess seated me in a booth close to a table where two men seemed really intent on their conversation.

One man had a radio-announcer voice that carried, even though he spoke softly. I couldn't help overhearing and once he started talking I didn't want to miss a word. Besides, I wanted to finish my coffee and snack. I grabbed my trusty note pad and jotted down his key points.

Here's my best recap of his story

"I have one brother, the only family I have left. We've never been close, but we talked by phone once in awhile. We lived a couple hundred miles apart, so we didn't know much about each other's lives, but that was okay with both of us.

"One day I got a call from a Child Welfare worker in his city. She told me the police arrested my brother and his wife for dealing drugs. They took his three children out of the house and turned them over to Child Welfare.

"The social worker told me my brother's kids would go into foster care unless my wife and I took them. We were their only hope and she wanted an answer by the next day. I was speechless and my wife even more so. We talked and talked and cried and prayed half the night. At last we said Yes, thinking it would be short-term.

"Not so. Eventually my brother and his wife were convicted of running a drug ring and both got long prison sentences.

"It's been hard, hard, hard, even though we've talked to our pastor and friends many times and we've had family counseling. My 9-year old nephew adapted pretty well. My 11-year old niece keeps it all inside, but those two both call us Mom and Dad and really, that's what we are. We're the ones who are there and who will be there, and we love them. They all know that, even the 15-year old.

"She still has nightmares. She rebels in just about every way she can dream up, no matter what we do. We're coming to think perhaps what she needs most is beyond our ability, maybe some kind of special mental-health treatment for awhile, to help her heal.

"We've prayed and tried to pour out love, but we've also failed in a lot of ways. I think I didn't really know much about talking to God before this upheaval in our lives. One thing I know, we wouldn't have made it without God giving us strength, minute-by-minute. Sometimes we've thought we couldn't keep on, but God has brought us this far, so we trust Him for the future.

"Here's the wonderful surprise and extra blessing in all this. We missed seeing it for quite awhile. Then recently we thought back to the early days of our marriage when the doctors told us we never would have children of our own and we were crushed. Now here we are with three kids, two of them doing very well. Now we are at peace. In spite of all the pain, we have joy and we know we did the right thing."

As I rose to leave I glanced at the men and saw they both had tears in their eyes. They matched my own.

A change of heart

You won't be surprised to hear I walked out with a new perspective on challenges in my life, my heart brimming with thanks and praise.

Thanks for that man and his wife who opened their home and their hearts and changed the lives–and the future–of three hurting youngsters. (And their own.)

Thanks to God for supplying the love and strength they needed to give of themselves, day by day, and not count the cost.

Thanks that they can see the blessings and joy hidden within their daily sacrifices.

That conversation refocused my thinking in how to look at challenges in my life.

Like that couple, let's open our eyes to the joy!

The Apostle Paul well knew personal suffering but he also knew how to find joy. I love the way he sums up his secret in Philippians 4:

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! … Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers (and sisters) whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things . . . And the God of peace will be with you. (Selected from Phil. 4:4-9 NIV)

"Rejoice!" It's not a suggestion, it's more like a must. An attitude we choose.

"If anything is excellent or praiseworthy … " Paul is telling us that whatever comes we can search out some bit of excellence or cause for praise. IF we wear that mindset as we look for it rather than getting stuck in our problems and disappointments. IF we remind ourselves that our loving God never leaves us on our own.

We will find the good, not because we're so great, but because God is faithful to those who trust in Him.

Trusting, too,

Lenore
Why it helps us to remember what’s good and right and true

June 25, 2022
Sometimes a slight twist of our perspective leads to major changes.

That happened to my husband and me the week our entire family went to summer camp on the shore of Lake Michigan.

At the time we lived on and operated a dairy and grain farm, with all the constant responsibility that implies, plus we had four lively children.

Between cows and crops and kids, both of us were running on fumes by July and needed a break.

Needed time.

Needed to find each other again.

Then we heard of a long-established, well-respected Christian family camp. We could drive there from our Illinois farm.

And, oh bliss! Every day would offer age-appropriate programs and daytime activities for kids and teens, all supervised by well-screened youth counselors and leaders.

No cooking. No cleaning. No kids during most of the day, with family free time in the evenings. What's not to like?

Heaven on earth, here we come!

We arrived on a Sunday afternoon

Next morning we escorted our four girls to their age-appropriate activities, signed them in and walked away. They would be safe and have fun for the next 5 or 6 hours. Yippee!

That first day we two decided to "try out" the adult Bible study led by a pastor from the Northwest.

He started off with something like this. "Jesus told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. Let's think this through. Who is my closest neighbor?"

Silence for a moment.

Then he hooked us with these words. "Answer: Our families. Nobody is a closer neighbor than the people we live with and share a life with. Nobody more deserves to be treated kindly and considerately.

"After all, they're the ones who every day have to deal with us. Us, with our individual quirks and habits." (Laughter.)

Then he launched into lively personal examples. As always, I took notes.

His first illustration made me squirm

"Every morning when I'm ready to eat breakfast with my wife, I never know what to expect. Most of the time she's a sweetheart. But sometimes, blame it on PMS, or a dreary day or whatever, she sighs a lot, slams cupboard doors and bangs the dishes around. At our house, that's not a good sign."

(I didn't look at my husband and was glad he didn't give me the elbow.)

"So every morning I have a choice. Will I give back what she is giving out? Or will I, even on those mornings, remember that my call as a Christian is to love her?

"To love her even when I know I'm in for another tough day at work. Even if I'm not sure whether we can cover all the bills this month.

"My first call as a Christian husband is to love my wife. Period. And a Christian wife has the same call toward her husband."

You could have heard a pin drop in that packed auditorium

His simple words shot down every excuse and self-justification I could think of.

"You may wonder if this principle also applies to us as Christian parents," he said. "In one word: Yes.

"Parenting is hard!" (Applause all around the room.) "For those raising children on their own it's even harder, yet the challenge remains the same: To live out love unconditionally as best they can.

"My three children often charm me, irritate me, baffle me, embarrass me, disappoint me, bring me to tears. But it doesn't matter. That's all part of rearing these gifts of God.

"As their dad, my call is to keep on loving them through it all."

Each day our teacher opened his heart and helped us look deeper into living out our Christian faith and pointed out the many places the Bible says the Holy Spirit is our Helper.

His words were water on our dry, dusty hearts

Our wilted spirits slowly revived and bloomed again. The invisible distance between us melted and our usual oneness returned.

Did my husband and I immediately morph into ideal spouses who never again got impatient with each other? Not likely.

But we gained new understanding and turned a corner in our thinking. The last afternoon we promised each other we would do our best to live out love every day.

And over the years, we did, sometimes slipping and sliding along the way but hanging on.

Jesus knew we would find this a challenge

He tells us to "Love your neighbor as yourself."

"AS yourself."

That's the "ouch factor" in those words, isn't it? The one that sets us coming up with "Yeah, buts."

It gets easier when we remember what that study leader at Camp stressed over and over:

"Love" is more than an emotion. To live out love means to do what's loving–and this we control.

That surprised me then and it still does

Looking at love this way means we needn't first try to dredge up emotion from within ourselves. We don't have to feel loving to demonstrate love. To act in loving ways.

When we simply do what love calls for it's not long before our feelings match our actions.

But that's the point, isn't it? When Jesus told us to love he did not mean to love when we're in the mood and the rest of the time, forget it.

Let's keep the order straight

Jesus sums it up in Mark 12:30-31:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

After this comes:

The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.

We love because he [Jesus] first loved us. 1 John 4:19 NIV

Along the way, let's be kind to ourselves, too. Sometimes we will fail and need to start over, simply because we're human beings. That's a good time to remind ourselves of this truth:

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 ESV

Our forgiveness in Christ means we are not condemned when we fall short of loving unconditionally. Instead, we are free to start over and go on, living our faith and growing stronger.

Best of all, we're not left on our own

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 ESV

Let us rejoice and be glad!

Lenore

A fresh take on “Love your neighbor”

June 18, 2022
"Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours" is the title of a 1970 Stevie Wonder hit song.

Sounds like a quickie description of most romantic novels and movies, doesn't it? After endless challenges the two in love finally make it to THE wedding.

The chase is over, the vows are spoken and love and bliss without end. No more effort required. Guaranteed.

File this under "Fairy Tales."

You and I and every other human being star in our own reality show called "Life."

Before long every real life couple comes to understand their wedding ceremony began a life of discovery, even when they thought they knew everything about each other beforehand.

Surprises are as inevitable as mosquitos on a summer night

Since each one keeps changing and growing for life, how could it be otherwise?

Think about typical life situations:

Changes in financial situation, for whatever reason.

Switching jobs. Moving, perhaps because one spouse receives a great job offer.

Health conditions, whether physical, mental or emotional.

Starting a family–or choosing not to.

Add in whatever issues may exist or arise within each one's extended family.

The love you started with is tested. Tried. Proven true and strong, whatever comes. Call it love in action, love with a purpose.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18

A marriage is like an ocean liner

The port side of a cruise ship cannot decide to head north while the starboard side chooses to head south.

Even in good strong marriages sometimes one spouse feels pulled toward a direction that leads the other to think, No way!

Any change of direction means unsettledness. My husband and I lived that a time or two.

We learned the value of simply talking to each other and also spending more time reading the Bible. Prayer–talking to God and honestly sharing our emotions helped keep us calm and at peace.

Sounds too simple, I know, but this reminded us that He knows the way ahead–and He promises never to leave us on our own.

One particular time we contemplated a big change–and then lived it. We planned as carefully as we could. Then came a period of delays and disappointments. I hung on tight to Bible verses like Psalm 139:9-10, David's beautiful expression of trust in the faithful God he loved and worshiped:

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Life can feel overwhelming at times

Times of unsettledness make us vulnerable to reciting various "what ifs, either to ourselves or to others." Steer clear of the "if-then" trap, too, even in self-talk.

Often our only choice is how we will respond. One rule-of-thumb is start with refocus and trust, adjust to the present reality and grow some more.

Shore each other up with frequent gentle reminders that your love remains strong and stable.

Thread faith through every day. Turn your mind to promises that God is faithful and kind.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Predictable causes of disharmony

One frequent issue, especially today, stems from one or the other spouse feeling they give more than the other. This quickly morphs into a joyless practice of checking off boxes and keeping score.

The idea that "we're in this together" flies out the window.

This runs counter-intuitive to popular thinking, but the better choice is to choose the way of love.

Marriage was never intended to be a 50-50 arrangement, but rather 100-100. The attitude is that wife and husband each decide to give of themselves completely.

Be flexible, each one ready to give and take as needs and situations change. This quiets the "You always" and "You never" arguments. Home becomes more the peaceful, loving place both yearn for it to be.

Easy? Never, but the Apostle Paul tells us how to love this way:

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3

Every marriage unites two unique individuals

What works for you may not work for your best friends–and vice versa. That's okay. If your marriage and family are built on love, faith and mutual respect, be glad and thank God for His blessing.

Marriage teaches us a lot about ourselves and widens our understanding. It's good to keep talking, even when you don't want to. Otherwise the distance between you widens.

Strive always to look through each other's eyes rather than just your own.

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:14

Every day counts

Later in our marriage my husband and I understood that even our hard times were seasons of growing, individually and together. Growing stronger as a married couple. Finding peace within our relationship and our life.

Did it come naturally to us? No, but few worthwhile goals are easy.

We came to see the deep wisdom and value of Jesus' words in Luke 6:31 as a prescription for every day:

"Do to others as you would have them do to you."

This day-by-day effort brings rewards beyond the obvious

Were we perfect? Never. Did we ever hit rough spots? Of course. All couples do. But we were in it for life, so that meant always trying to pull together and keep on loving.

Somehow we only partially understood that our children were watching us and listening to us–particularly when we weren't talking to them. As adults they admitted this went on all through the years they were growing up.

Still, we did something right. At different times each one–now married themselves–told us that our marriage provided them the role model by which they related in their marriages.

Were we surprised? Oh, yes, and humbly thankful.

Humble? Yes

We two ordinary people met and fell in love while we were still in high school and married a couple of years later.

What we had going for us was that we loved each other totally and each of us trusted Jesus as our Savior. We aimed to live out the faith we shared–and we had teachable hearts

Always, we prayed for guidance and our loving Lord never left us to struggle on our own.

He will do the same for any believer who asks.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17

May you know His joy in your life, my friend,

Lenore

You can build inner strength within your marriage and family

June 10, 2022
Since nobody can find Mayberry, RFD on a map, why do so many of us long to go there?

Perhaps it's because we ache to live in a place where kindness and goodness look to be a way of life. For everyone. Every day.

We feel as if we know Sheriff Andy and Opie, Aunt Bee and Barney. They're our kind of people.

Or we wish they were.

Who can forget that whistled theme song? If you do a bit of online research you will find that Andy Griffith (Sheriff Andy) had an outsize influence over every episode. It's true that this show portrayed a simpler life, but it was never sappy.

Always, Andy role-modeled a loving, understanding father to his son, Opie. No wonder that many viewers from troubled families found solace in watching this TV show.

Each of us felt warmed by Aunt Bee's tender care. Observers have noted that many young people who watched the show lacked flesh-and-blood positive role models at home. They found them in Mayberry, which always illustrated a weekly dose of peace and stability.

That's been true since The Andy Griffith Show ran in the 1960s. It still is, even now. This show remains so popular it's still running–and may continue into the next generation.

Mayberry, RFD presents life as we wish it were

Oh sure, these Mayberry residents are kinda quirky, some more, some less. You might say they're a lot like you and me.

Still, we can tell these are good people because we watch how they talk to each other and treat each other. They have the usual ordinary problems and conflicts everyone has, but in Mayberry they always resolve them–kindly and with respect. Everyone learns a lesson and they remain friends. Smiling friends.

It's as if someone smoothed off the rough edges of daily life in Mayberry.

If we kept a list, it could include qualities like these:

Family strength and love

Mutual respect and fairness

Kindness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

Honesty

Integrity

Faith in God

Does this list remind you of anything?

The Apostle Paul detailed the qualities that grow within us when Jesus lives in our hearts and the Holy Spirit increases our faith.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

That's what we see on display in The Andy Griffith Show and in residents of Mayberry, RFD, a glimpse into an imaginary place where these fruits of the Spirit shine through, in various situations and in all kinds of people.

Credit Andy Griffith's influence again. When Griffith died in 2012, his widow told CBN, "Andy was a person of incredibly strong Christian faith and was prepared for the day he would be called Home to his Lord."

How do we bring Mayberry into our lives?

Sorry, y'all, but talking with a Southern drawl won't do it.

It's true that you and I can't change the rest of the world. But we can decide our home will be a haven for our family and friends. A place where each one walks in the door and feels loved. A place where anxious, hurting hearts can find peace in being welcomed and accepted.

Isn't that what we want for ourselves?

This is not the impossible dream. No advance cleanup or home projects needed. We simply start right where we are. We ask Jesus to guide us and to fill our hearts and our home with love. Then we deliberately live out those Christian qualities we see acted out in Mayberry, RFD.

This probably won't feel natural for a lot of us. Smile and remember the saying, "Fake it 'til you make it," then keep going until it does.

And be patient, because a crop of kindness takes awhile to grow. Take it little by little, and with good humor. Laughs always lighten the atmosphere, especially when we're quick to laugh at our own mistakes and failures. (That makes it more likely our children will pick up that quality, too, rather than fall apart when they're not perfect.)

If we stick with it, life in our home will change and our kids won't have to look elsewhere to find grownups to emulate.

Are you ready to try it?

Picture in your mind the kind of atmosphere you want in your home, as detailed as you want to make it. Write it down if you like, then use that as a checklist. This won't be an overnight change, so keep your patience charger at the ready.

Start with this:

Pray.

Forget past failures and lock in on what's ahead, then go for it.

Attitude counts most. Look for the best in people, expect the best of people–and forgive them when they mess up. (Your children will notice and naturally take on some of that themselves.)

Let go of tracking who's wrong and who's right. That takes too much time and effort–and winning almost always is a hollow victory. Use that energy to celebrate the wins.

Forgive yourself–and your family–on those days when nothing goes right.

Pray. Constantly.

Remember, you're not in this alone

Whatever challenges we face, every believer can say with the Apostle Paul:

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Sorry, Andy Griffith and Aunt Bee won't move in down the street, but if you make small changes in yourself and how you relate to others, you will notice changes in how your life goes. So will your family and friends.

One ordinary day you'll look around and notice something new. As you look around your own small world you see some of the positive qualities you appreciate in what's portrayed by characters who live in Mayberry, RFD.

There's another bonus most of us haven't thought of. You will find what many others have discovered: You don't have to move in order to live in a new, happier place.

Still learning,

Lenore
What if you could live a Mayberry life for real?

March 8, 2022
Okay, I get it. Your mom made you go to church and you vowed you would never do that to your children.

Maybe it's time for a rethink. You may be cheating them–and yourself–by staying away.

How? Let's do a rundown:

Where else can kids be surrounded by grownups of all ages who smile on them and love them even when they don't know their names?

Where else does a "holy terror" kid get loved, time after time, even when said HTK can't sit still, can't be quiet and won't stop pestering whoever sits next to him?

Where else do young children and adolescents interact with older adults–other than their parents–instead of just observing them from a distance?

Where else do youngsters carry on real conversations with adults–listening adults–who aren't relatives or friends of their parents?

Where else in today's world do kids get a front row seat to watch and learn that it takes all kinds of people, each one playing their part, to keep things going?

Where else do children learn grownup songs and get to sing alongside adults? And where else would adults within hearing distance smile benevolently, even if a youngster sings off-key or messes up the words?

Where else can you feel you already know–before you've spent much time with them–many of the values of the people around you?

Where else will the difference between right and wrong be so clearly reinforced to your kids?

Where else will they learn principles like "Love your neighbor as yourself," and "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and all the rest? (These truths sink deep and become a personal code far more reliable than moods of the moment.)

Where else will your kids learn that Jesus came to set things right between God and us humans, that he lived and died and rose again so that all who believe can call him Friend.?

In what other setting–besides at home–will your children be reassured over and over again that Jesus loves them? Or that he watches over them and is with them every moment of every day and night?

It's not "Go to church and do your duty," but rather, "Why cheat yourself and your kids out of the blessing and joy?"

Every mom and dad soon learns that our words don't mean much to our children if they're just words. What really counts with a child is, "Does this really matter to Mom or Dad? Or is it just something I'm supposed to do?"

That is, bring them with you to church, rather than just drop them off for Sunday School and then pick them up afterward.

Being part of a family of faith reinforces what you as a family stand for. It's about support and encouragement–for both your children and you as their parents.

Bringing your kids to church is not just so they can hear the pastor's sermon and/or the children's message or go to Sunday School. It's also so they naturally grow friendships with kids you more likely feel comfortable with.

If you're a mom or dad, your fellow churchgoers are like your backup team.

Think about it. A church family is just that: Family

You may live a thousand miles from relatives, but if you're part of a local body of believers, you're plunked right down in the middle of family.

Family related by faith, not blood, who will be there when you need them.

Folks who if they see you talking to a friend and spot your toddler running across the parking lot, will immediately race after your junior adventurer and deliver your little one safely back to you.

Individuals with whom it's safe to talk. People who will care that you're running on fumes and feeling overwhelmed.

It only takes one to hug you and remind you, "Take heart, it's not the end of the story yet. God will get you through this. I know that's true and here's how. …"

It's been this way since Jesus started it

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

Look for a church that's Jesus-centered and Bible-centered, where the pastor and people are real, that is, authentic.

Then go with an open mind and be as friendly as you would be if taking part in any kind of new activity. There's no better way to give your kids–and yourself–a solid base for living. No better setting in which to make new friends. Count on it as a place to grow.

Why bring your kids to church? Because you love them.

Why go to church? Because you love yourself.

Still growing,

Lenore
11 Reasons to Bring Your Kids to Church

January 6, 2022
Lately there's been a lot of angst going around

This seems like a good time to pass on a folksy little story that arrived in my Inbox one day. It always speaks pointedly to me. May it speak to you, too.

Just Another Day

The crusty old-timer slouched into the local coffee shop and settled himself onto the end stool at the counter. Then he winked at the waitress and said, "Gimme a big mug 'a Joe, Dearie."

This lady wasn't taking any guff from anyone. She stood up tall and said, "I am not your Dearie! My name is Daisy."

"My mistake, Miss Daisy. My name's Hector. Now pour me some of your good hot coffee, if 'ya please."

When his steaming cup of Joe arrived, he inhaled deeply and asked, "Got any sugar cubes, Ma'am?

"Yes, sir."

She handed Hector the sugar bowl and he dropped in a cube of sugar.

Then another.

And another. And another.

When he got to seven, Daisy pulled the sugar bowl away and said, "Listen, here, Mister, you don't need more sugar. Just stir up whatcha' got!"

That's wise counsel for living, too

Sometimes we discount what we already have and are, just because we're used to it.

The flood of self-help articles and reports and interviews that never stop all boil down to the same theme: You and I need to be more than we are.

According to these "experts," each with a favorite theory, you and I can achieve "more-ness" with (fill in the blank.) So we can grow. And stretch. And explore new horizons.

It's exhausting.

Learning and growing are good things, but most of these spokespeople proceed as if every human being is an exact copy of every other human being.

For Christians, that theory is pure bunk. The Bible tells us God creates every human being. Not with some sort of divine 3-D Printer, but with infinite care and his personal involvement.

Ponder this verse, Psalm 139:13, and think as you read it.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.   ESV

Each of us is one-of-a-kind

Even identical twins have their own individual fingerprints and personalities. You and I are not exactly like our siblings. Neither are our children, even when they all are the same gender.

Not one of us is "missing" some essential part of ourselves.

Can we grow and learn to understand ourselves better? Of course. Sometimes that happens as we live out our lives. Sometimes we may need to talk with our pastor or with a licensed counselor.

It's an imperfect world and none of us is perfect. It's a big step to acknowledge our weaknesses to ourselves. Be sure you don't overlook your individual strengths. Rather, give thanks for them.

The Bible tells us God equips each one of us to handle whatever He asks of us. That means each of us has what we need to live the lives He gives us. Remember, our lives are not over until our last earthly breath, so none of knows exactly what qualities we may need.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 ESV

Keep tabs on what's already present–in your life, in your marriage and in your family

It is God who gives us our abilities and talents–and for a reason we may not yet understand.

Are there struggles even in strong marriages and families? Yes, for every one of us. Single or married, at any age, life is hard. Building a marriage is hard. Being a mom–or a dad–is hard.

If we expect perfect here on earth then our days may seem like too much to cope with. We just want it to stop.

That's dangerous thinking because we may spend our days in wistful longings and daydreams of better times and perhaps, "more perfect" people.

Once again the Bible shows us the better way to deal with difficulties:

Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:1 ESV

Build on what you already have

For example, if you're married and feeling ho-hum, why not try a bit of do-it-yourself effort?

Agree to make time for each other, just as deliberately as you make time for other appointments.

Choose a weekend or other time when neither of you has to report in for work. Then farm out your kids for a night or a weekend. Kidnap your husband–or wife–and head to a nearby hotel or motel. Live on room service (or McDonald's if money is tight) and each other's undivided attention.

(The same strategy works if you simply stay home in your own house. It's just harder to shut out all the chores that need catching up on.)

Often, a short time of concentrating on each other is all that's needed for a couple to rediscover their love, which can get covered up with job and kids and the "stuff" of everyday life.

We love because he [Jesus] first loved us . . . Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 John 4:19; 1 Peter 4:8 ESV

Get reacquainted with your children and get to know them now

Whatever their ages, take off your I-need-to-parent-you eyes. Instead, look–really look–at each child with eyes of love.

Think about their individual personality qualities: who they are. Notice how funny and unique each one is. Find ways to reinforce their positive qualities, maybe a note or a card or just saying you value those qualities.

Make time to be one-on-one with each child, so you can concentrate on each one. Being together strengthens family bonds–between parent and child and also between siblings.

As your children grow up, increasingly respect their right to have their own lives. (We wanted that for ourselves, didn't we? And don't we?)

As you would that others would do to you, do so to them. Luke 6:31 ESV

Share more than food at mealtime

Eating together every day strengthens relationships within a family. All the research shows that especially with children and teens, this increases their own strength and inner security.

Mealtimes offer a built-in opportunity to connect. One powerful–and popular tool is to do Highs and Lows. Go around the table and each one shares from their day–while everyone else listens. (Make it okay to say "Pass" and remain silent.)

Each one can tell about their cares and issues to each other. Nothing formal, just each one sharing their days with each other and staying tuned-in. Lastly, parents and/or children pray and speak a blessing.

Stick with it and watch each one become more comfortable opening up to each other. A way to live out faith together.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15 ESV

Let's get personal

Every so often take a closer look. Start by writing down at least ten good things about your life. Ten things, small things, "ordinary" things.

Then list what's good about you. And your husband. And your kids. Once again, this is not about achievements or "big stuff."

Keep your lists handy. Reread them when you're feeling uncertain or questioning the "whys" in your life. Or on those days when life feels meaningless. Even if you're not in the mood when you start, as you thank God for the gifts and blessings already yours, your heart will feel lighter.

Consider this one of the ways to "Stir up what you got!"

Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:6-7 NKJV

Still learning, always,

Lenore

Still good advice: “Stir up whatcha got!”

September 20, 2021
"I am up to here with warnings and arguments and scary stories on the news!" wails the young woman at the next table."

"Me, too," her friend answers. My kids keep pestering me with questions, but I have no answers. How do I know if school actually will start this fall? Or if we'll have to wear masks again and all that routine? Or if it's safe to walk or ride a bike around our town, what with people–and kids–being shot at by some stranger driving down the street?

"I just want to grab everybody I love and never let go. Maybe never leave home."

As the two young moms got ready to leave, I heard the younger one say, "Sometimes I think the only safe place is in a cave on some far away island!"

Remarks like this swirl around all of us. People are frightened and uneasy, wondering what will happen next. And to whom.

It seems the torrent of troubles never lets up.

Is there any good news to report?

Answer: Yes, but most of it goes unreported. Television reporters and newscasters and newspaper headlines almost always lead with crimes, tragedies and misdemeanors.

Trace it back to a standard slogan of the news business: "If it bleeds, it leads."

Statistics show that readership and TV viewership go up–way up–when they feature bad news and tales of people who assault or kill others. The more horrific the better. Then they get to add in speculations about motives and/or possible crimes.

They fill in the gaps with opinions on possible doom and destruction that may lurk just ahead.

This allows us the "privilege" of consuming a steady diet of this kind of stuff during every waking moment.

Is it any wonder so many of us feel anxiety that won't quit?

What if we made a better choice?

Here's the sobering truth. Nobody forces us to feed on the news 24/7–or several times a day.

It's like an addiction. Maybe someone should start a BNAA: Bad News Addiction Anonymous.

This startup could borrow the "Serenity Prayer," used by Alcoholics Anonymous and other self-help organizations. Here's one common version:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Repeat aloud (or silently) as often as needed.

You see, whatever our age, our finances or our life situation, we need something solid to hang onto. We can choose to focus on God's faithfulness.

That never changes. Never lets us down.

Because God never changes.

Remember, God brought us to this day

My favorite grandmother, who died at age 101, never lost sight of that and considered every day a gift. The last time I saw her was two years before her death.

Grandma's beautiful, wrinkled face glowed as she said, "You know, Lenore, God is SO good. He never left me alone for a minute."

Ah, yes, Grandma. He never leaves any of His children alone for a minute.

Anytime. Anywhere.

So let's fill our minds and hearts with Bible promises like these:

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

He (she) who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2

(Jesus said) "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."   John 14:27

How about a new slogan for our life? "If it feeds, it leads."

We could call it the "Good Stuff Diet."

Even a snack-size serving, day after day, can drive out fear and plant His peace in its place. The peace that passes all human understanding, remember?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Every day, no matter how dismal the news, we have a choice. Let's choose to see the joy in each day, because that's every bit as real as the bad news. We just have to look for it.

Lord, give us eyes to see!

Lenore

Keep your balance in the storm of bad news

July 20, 2021
Fathers come in all shapes and sizes and all personalities.

One thing is common to all: Even the best of them have–or had–flaws because, well, they're human beings.

Some dads provide for their family and are physically present, but they remain detached emotionally. Others live with one goal: Provide for their family and give them what they need, plus surround them with love.

Perhaps the man who reared you and did his best to love you wasn't your "natural father," so you shut him out. Now you know he endured pain, too. Why not speak (or write) a few words of respect–and gratitude?

Some of us can't get past our list of what we lacked while growing up

What better time to take a new inventory? You might see there were blessings sprinkled in, too, and you never noticed.

Maybe your loving, stressed-out mom had to go it alone, but an "outsider" in your life nurtured you and influenced you in ways that built strength. A teacher, a coach, a neighbor, or just a kind individual who knew when a kid needs a friend. That's a gift, you know. Have you ever thanked this person?

All these men–or father figures–were there. They gave of themselves, however imperfectly. That counts for something, doesn't it?

Father's Day offers the perfect "excuse" to say the words that matter. Do it now.

And thank God, too, for what was–and is–love.

Love is patient and kind … Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:1a, 7 ESV

When if you missed out on all that?

Maybe you're muttering, "Yeah, sure. Easy for you to talk!"

Maybe your dad wasn't there–or he just showed up once in awhile.

That hurts down deep and it's easy to get stuck in what you missed out on. The only way I know to be free of that weight is to let it go. Lay it at the cross of Jesus and move on. Look for what's good now.

One more thing: Revisit your memories, slowly, thoughtfully. Ask God to show you any glimmers of blessing you might have missed and thank God for that.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 ESV

Say it now, while you can

Perhaps it feels like it has been too long and words are hard to find. Set aside your discomfort and do it anyhow.

My dad was like most men of his era and didn't talk much about love. Because of distance I saw my parents infrequently, especially after we moved West. As my father got older I called more often but most of the time we just made unsatisfying small talk.

As years went by I realized I had not put into words what Dad meant to me. So whenever I sent him a letter or greeting card I noted a few qualities I honestly appreciated about him as a man and as a father. And every time we talked by phone I made sure to tell him a time or two, "I love you, Dad," before I hung up.

Later on, after he died, it comforted my heart to remember those conversations. I'll always be glad I did that.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:13 ESV

Most of us find our insight improves over the years

Probably we understand our parents better once we have children of our own. Your dad and my dad had to learn and grow and endure the same struggles we all do when we have children.

Did they make mistakes? Of course.

For me, I know my father did the best he could, even in the hard times and remained patient and kind. Through all the serious health issues and other hardships my parents faced, they lived out their faith in Jesus Christ.

In countless ways my mother and all our family were blessed because Dad was there for us. Always. No matter what came.

I took that for granted for much of my life. More and more since my father died I understand that who Dad was as a person blessed me. It influenced how I live and who I am, even today.

The righteous who walks in his integrity–blessed are his children after him! Proverbs 20:7 ESV

Whoever fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge. Proverbs 14:26 NIV

What if our emotions are all over the place?

First, let's be patient with ourselves and not be afraid to talk to our loving Heavenly Father about our joys and woes. Whatever is on our hearts.

Psalm 103:13 tells us why we can feel free to do so.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. NIV

If you're not sure he would welcome you, think of this verse, which shows the depth and enormity of God's love:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16 ESV

That's a love you can trust and settle down in.

My prayer for you, Gentle Reader, is that you feel the Father's love warming your heart right now and every day.

Blessings,

Lenore

Take a fresh look at dear old Dad

June 11, 2021