Tag: Children

You hear it all the time on TV talk shows and read it online and in print: It's essential to be generous with praise if we want to build a child's self-image.

That's no longer universally acclaimed. More and more new/old thinkers tell us it's better to go easy on remarks like, "You're so adorable!" and, "Look at you! You're so smart!"

Choose instead to emphasize what the child or teen can feel pride in doing and being. That is, give your kids solid, individual reasons for self-esteem.

Compliment qualities you want to implant and expand. Here are some
examples.

If your daughter helps empty the dishwasher or pitches in with other household chores: "You're such a good helper. I like knowing I can count on you."

Should your son give part of his cookie to a friend: "I like the way you share. You have a generous heart."

If your youngster is involved in sports and their team loses the game but your child manages to keep smiling: "You make me very proud. You played fair and you're a good sport."

Such comments help kids recognize and focus on their best qualities.

Words like that build a child's character

Even at young ages kids figure out that they can decide what to do or not to do.

Parents naturally want them to choose whichever actions will make them stronger and help them stay out of trouble. Mom or Dad can influence their thinking in many ways, especially by how they speak.

Praise their appearance only and you'll grow an individual who measures their self-worth by looking in the mirror. Praise grades, test scores and sports scores and you risk developing young people who feel they are worth less if they fail to come out on top.

What matters more is to emphasize what builds their own sense of being a worthwhile person.

It all goes back to a major principle of child-rearing: Only reinforce–with words or applause–what you want to see repeated.

There's more to it, of course

Many of us believe the true core of an individual's self-esteem lies even deeper. Karl Barth, a renowned thinker and theologian of the Twentieth Century put it this way, "The greatest theological insight I have ever had is this: 'Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.'"

You may recognize that line from the song many kids learn in Sunday School or Children's Church. To plant the certainty of that first line in a child's mind gives them an "outside source"–separate from family members or other individuals–by which to gauge their self-worth. One who never changes.

Step into the shoes of any child or young person. They are trying to figure out who they are in a world that pulls them in all directions. Parents may urge one path, the child wants another.

Moms and dads worry because they see possible trouble ahead, trouble their children argue against.

Why? Why?

It helps to remember that children and teens only know what they have experienced so far. They often feel uncertain about everything and overwhelmed and well may have nothing to hang onto.

That's one reason they so often "drive their parents crazy." It's a waste of emotion to expect that they would–or could–look at life and the world around them as their mom or dad does.

Think what it would mean to know deep down that you have value every moment of every day. Not because you deserve it or earned it, but because Jesus loves you. The Bible backs up that statement. Year after year the Christian Bible is the best-selling book.

According to several reliable sources, about 20 million copies of the Holy Bible were sold last year, just in the United States.

There must be a reason why

The message that weaves throughout the Bible is that Jesus, true God and true man, lived and willingly died so that anyone who believes in him as their Savior and Lord, is set right with God.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

That's the basis for this children's song:

"Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so … "

It is simple, profound truth that brings unshakable certainty one is loved. No conditions. No exceptions.

Children convinced of this will be better equipped to handle whatever may come into their lives. Their self-confidence will be strong and rest on a solid base.

Isn't that what you want for your children? And yourself?

Blessings to you,

Lenore

Thoughts on Rearing Self-Confident Kids

June 16, 2024
Let's face it. Some children simply refuse to give in–or give up.

A friend remarked, "My two brothers and I loved to scrap and we were always pestering each other.

"My folks would let it go on as long as they could stand it, I guess. Then one of them would say, 'CUT THAT OUT!'

"That was my mom and dad's magic phrase. When we kids heard those three little words we knew we'd better stop or we'd be in a world of trouble.

"I know now it wasn't the specific words they used," he said. "It was their don't-push-it! tone of voice. That told us they were out of patience."

Most of us use way too many words

I remember doing exactly that, thinking it sounded more kind and loving and reasonable. Now I know all it does is confuse and water down what we say.

Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, once said every child is a 24-hour a day student of his or her parents.

This careful study enables our children to know exactly how far they can go with each parent. They know which one is more likely to be swayed by pleading and which one needs all the facts–and time–before saying, "Yes."

It's a bit shocking–but accurate–that we train our kids to know how far they can push us.

Personalities play a part

For some strong-willed youngsters it's as if their mission in life is to oppose whatever Mom or Dad say.

Here's a word of comfort. These, um, "determined individuals" often grow into adolescents who are less susceptible to peer pressure and then become adults who love a challenge and don't wimp out.

I can hear you saying, "That's all well and good, but this being in charge role doesn't fit my personality and it's really hard for me. How do I get through today?"

Today remind yourself that every child secretly wants their parents to, well, act like parents.

We moms and dads are meant to be in charge, because we are their security.

Knowing what their parents allow–and don't allow–makes youngsters feel safe and loved and cared for.

This includes your prizefighter strong-willed child who never gives in gracefully.

We bless our children when we draw up boundaries

Boundaries, like fences, protect. Well thought-out rules tell our kids that we love them enough to keep them safe and secure.

Within those reliable limits our children can relax and run free.

Will they keep testing to see whether we still mean it? You betcha. That's just part of being a kid.

That's why it's essential to be consistent. (This is any parent's biggest challenge.)

If it was a No yesterday, it has to be a No today–or you'll be back at the beginning and starting over.

We don't need to act like dictators, nor yell.

Just remember that we are the grownups in the family and that's our job.

It's all about knowing who we are, then acting like we believe we possess the authority

And we do. From God.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. -Colossians 3:20 ESV

As loving caretakers of the children God gave us we are to protect them and guide them because it's for their good. Our job as parents is to get our children equipped and ready to move out into a life of their own one day.

And we do it all with love.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another . . . Colossians 3:12-13a

Parenting roles change over the years

In the earlier years we must be watchful at all times, in every detail. From feeding and diapering, then chasing them as toddlers, we're all about tender care and protection.

As our children get older we still keep a watchful eye, but our role gets more subtle, Little by little, we back off and stay more in the background so each child gains confidence that they can handle whatever they're trying to do.

All along we remain their protectors, their defenders, their life coaches and sometimes, yes, The Enforcers.

Be sure of this: Even teenagers know they're not ready to be on their own, although they will argue the point over and over and over. Most of the time they avoid saying they need us and feel safer because we're watching our for them.

Nevertheless, it's worth repeating: Our kids push us to the edge because they want us to be who God asks us to be.

Wherever we are in this equation, we are not alone

Being a parent and watching our children grow into themselves is deep-down satisfying. I believe it's the most important thing we could ever do because we are raising human beings.

But parenting is never a picnic. It isn't meant to be. Raising our children is it's a growth-and-development project for us as individuals, too. Being a parent changes us, makes us wiser and stronger and more understanding of human nature.

(Is it any wonder that we Christian parents so often feel inadequate and frequently ask Jesus to guide us and help us?)

Over the years when I've felt weak and insecure, I've gone back again and again to Ephesians 3:20:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. ESV

It's safe to say that applies to being a mom or a dad, too.

Here's to being who God made you to be–and enjoying it!

I'm praying for you,

Lenore

Ever wondered why our kids so often push us to the edge?

July 30, 2021
A lot of moms tell me they wish they could go back and start again–if they could already be equipped with what they know now.

"Next time," they say, "I wouldn't get so uptight, always wondering if I was doing it right. I would be calmer, more patient. I would just enjoy every moment so much more!"

Can you identify with that feeling? I can.

I loved our four daughters with all my heart and sincerely tried to be a good mom. Later I understood that I tried so hard I made myself uptight.

If I were starting over . . .

First of all, I'd relax, knowing it's more important to get enough rest and stay cheerful than to be sure no dust bunnies hide in the corners.

My To Do list would take second place to the joy of simply being there. Being present with the children God gave us and letting myself experience the joy more fully.

Yes I know, that sounds kind of other-worldly.

The truth is, there's nothing more real than taking joy in the moment in which you are living. The joy of watching each child's personality come through.

Sometimes we parents ask ourselves, Who are these little people? That can't be clearly defined, since every person is a combination of all the family members who went before, not just their birth mother and father.

It's a mystery and a joy–if we let it be.

We moms get to be in on this unfolding. We get to care for and guide and influence these mystery beings who in one sense march to their own drummers and in another, march to whatever tune we pipe their way.

That's a heavy responsibility. And an awesome privilege.

We see the parts, not the whole of our children's lives

We can't foresee how quickly our little ones will grow up, take control of their lives and make their own decisions. At first I imagined what our girls thought or did would be an extension of my husband and me and what they'd learned in our home.

It wasn't long before I realized that each one was her own person. That showed even more clearly as they grew into the teenage years and became adults.

I shouldn't have been surprised. Hadn't I always said God only creates one of a kind?

Being a mom is an exercise in giving

Not one of us who's a mom comes out of it the same as we went in.

And that's a good thing!

Being a mom quickly throws ice water on any traces of a me-centered mode of living. Screaming babies who need to be nursed or have their diapers changed bring an urgency that supersedes our own needs.

Through all the years . . .

We keep learning and growing, stretching to accommodate what sometimes strikes us as the "shocking ideas" of our kids and grandkids. Still, we want to be fair so we evaluate it. Often we find ourselves thinking, Hmmm. I never thought of it that way.

That's a good thing. It keeps us from growing barnacles as we sit in our safe harbor of already knowing absolutely what we think about everything.

God never meant us to stay stuck in our thinking. At any age He expects us to be growing, because only He knows what He would have us become over a lifetime.

Whatever age your children or mine may be, however we may applaud or decry their lifestyles, only God can see the whole of their lives. And so we keep praying.

Our kids bring out our best side

Poet Roy Croft wrote a poem titled "Love." It's often used at weddings, but I think these lines express what many of us would say as we think about how rearing our children has changed us:

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out ...

Being a mother changes us

Our children grow and so do we. That's reason enough to thank God.

None of us knows what tomorrow will bring. Don't let this Mother's Day pass without expressing your love to your mother while you can.

From now on let it become your resolve to write your children and tell them what they mean to you and how proud you are to be their mom–not just on Mother's Day, but every day. You will bless their lives and also your own.

Love never needs a special day as an excuse to be spoken. Or written. So any day of the year let your love flow freely. The more you give away, the more you get back.

And wouldn't each child, whatever their age, welcome a bit of extra encouragement and assurance from their mom?

Blessings and much joy to you,

Lenore

Being a mom: What I wish I had known

April 28, 2021
Dear Moms,

Trust me: It's all worth it!

You recognize the sweet moments of mothering for what they are.

Here's what I know now that I missed when our children were growing up:

The not-so-sweet moments are worth just as much.

From this vantage point I understand that every day is a "puzzle piece" in the whole of your life.

Those "nothing days" add depth you can't recognize in the middle of making a life. The tiresome, mundane stuff you do every day just because you're a mom are necessary to complete the design.

It's easy to lose sight of that in the middle of changing one more poopy diaper. Or mopping up spills on the floor you just cleaned. (Why can't it stay clean at least one day?) Or listening to another recital of, "Mommeee, look what he did to me!" followed by, "It's not my fault. She started it!"

I confess that too often I forgot that the chaos was happy chaos and forgot to appreciate that my life was good and rich and full.

Maybe you do, too.

Keep the Big Picture in Mind

I know now that every day counts, even those days so pointless or frustrating you could scream. You are leaving tracks on your child's tomorrows, one tiny bit at a time.

The old truth, "More is caught than taught," applies here.

Mom love often looks like cleaning up and mopping up. Loving and praying for strength. Cooking and packing lunches. Throwing smelly clothes into the washer. Loving and praying for patience. Chauffeuring kids and cleaning up messes and loving. Praying to know what to do. Forgiving and forgetting. Loving. Praying. Falling into bed exhausted and starting over the next morning.

Take a fresh look. See your life for what it is: a work-in-progress

That's fitting, since your children, too, are a work-in-progress.

Every part of every day, they're growing.

Whatever stage they're in, they are in the process of becoming.

You are, too.

So relax

Let go of straining to "do it right." Forget keeping track of how many boxes you can check on the latest "Effective Parenting Techniques" list.

Your kids are following you around, watching how you role-model dealing with everyday life. Every day they conduct their own comparison study on whether what you do matches what you say.

That's what they'll remember–and copy–as they live their lives.

Please take that as encouragement. If you're loving your kids and forgiving them when they mess up and accepting them for who they are, that's what they'll remember.

And you are not on your own. Just ask God to show you the way to love your family as they need to be loved and to give you strength for the day. You can trust Him to be faithful.

So just love your kids and be yourself. It's okay not to be The Coolest Mom on the Block.

Take the Long View

Will it all be good? Maybe not. You might travel through some rough patches or trying years. One child may be extra hard to handle or have special needs that don't go away. Another may develop big problems you hadn't noticed earlier. Your teenager or young adult child may disappoint you. Or worry you. Or drive you to your knees.

Not one of us wants our children to struggle, but it doesn't mean God has walked away.

From the struggle may come the strength, for them and for you.

Remember, He's growing you, too.

Where to turn when you feel overwhelmed

Don't hang around in risky territory, such as thinking I can't take any more of this. You can get stuck in that quicksand.

Take charge of your thoughts. (I promise it gets easier with practice.)

Focus your attention on the privilege of rearing the children you've been given. Even on your most trying days, remember this:

God gave you your children because you are just right for each other.

Some days you may run on empty

That's the time to put the good stuff in. Find some Bible verses that speak to your heart and fill your mind with them. I find it helps me to change my mindset if I repeat favorite Bible verses to myself.

Here's a favorite Bible verse you probably know. I underlined it in my Bible years ago and it still speaks to me when I'm feeling weary.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:29-31

Dear friends and fellow moms, breathe in that strength that never runs out and hang on. You are right where you're supposed to be and every day counts.

Take it from one who found it to be true: It's all worth it!

Love from my heart to yours,

Lenore

A love note to moms, the real movers and shakers

July 11, 2018
Are you finding it difficult to get into the spirit of Christ-mas? Me, too.

Consider this an intervention.

Take a few minutes to watch these preschoolers answer questions. (I dare you not to smile.)

Charming young children, unscripted answers, what's not to love? Oh sure, they were a bit fuzzy on the details.

Still, in their innocence and simplicity they have the essence of the miracle of Christmas: Jesus came.

Jesus Christ, truly and fully God from before Day One of Creation, chose to come to earth as a human child, born to a human mother.

Jesus, born as a baby in a stable in Bethlehem (Luke 2:1-20.) Born like any human infant to a human mother. Mary, who was a virgin and chosen to be his mother. You see, Jesus was the Son of God. (Luke 1:26-38.)

Joseph's part in the story was that the angel told him he would be Jesus' earthly father and he then married Mary (Matthew 1:18-25.)

Have we heard these readings so often we forget it's a miracle story?

What gets into us adults that we lose our marvels?

Blame it on thoughts of shopping and decorating and keeping up with family traditions. They shout so loudly they drown out the quiet meaning of Christmas.

Do you recognize these questions?

What will I give her? And him?

How much will these gifts cost? Am I spending enough to show I really care?

Will they like what I give them??

I simply have to cook and bake all the family favorites when they come home because that's what they expect. That's what makes it Christmas.

Christmas cards and letters! I need to get them written and mailed in time! And what about photos?

I'm exhausted already. How will I ever get it all done in time?

It's that last question that gets us down

Here's what I've learned over the years–with help from friends and family members.

The best and most lasting gift any of us can give is our love and encouragement. These cost zero dollars.

What we spend–or don't spend–is unimportant. Even young children who clamor for the latest toys on TV always lose interest in any item after a few days.

Recognize that adult and young-adult children are adults and young adults. They will manage to cope even if we don't fulfill their favorite gift requests. (We do, don't we? We know their gifts come with love.)

Cooking everything from scratch does not prove love.

It's a sure thing that this will not be the only chance our loved ones will have all year to eat a good meal.

We can decide to start a new family tradition. Making it easier on ourselves will make it calmer when we're together. (No guilt because Mom looks exhausted.) That makes it more fun for all the family.

Truth flash: Our kids don't come home for the food

Whatever the ages of our children, they come home for the love.

What they long for most of all is affirmation as individuals. The reminder that they belong. The confirmation that we, their parents, love them as they are.

We say it aloud: We love them as they are. That's the biggest gift we can give our adult children.

Are they perfect? No, they're human. Like their parents.

Do we like them as people and/or appreciate their sense of humor or whatever? Then we say so.

Are we pleased or proud about something they've done or are doing? Let's commend them and cheer them on, even if we've said the same thing before.

Are they going through a hard time or a scary passage in life? Let's reassure them that they're not alone. Jesus is with them, every step of the way. (Even if/when they know it, it's good to hear us speak it.)

First, last and always, let's tell them we pray for them every day and we know God's watching over them. (Then let's keep our promise.)

But nobody ever did that for me

Sadly, that's true for many of us. We still may long to hear such words from our own parents. Some of us never will, either because our parents have died or are out of our lives, or because they're incapable of opening up about their emotions.

Then we have a choice. We can grieve and bemoan what we lack.

Or we can forgive our parents and start fresh. Their ways don't have to be our ways.

We give our children and those that matter to us a great gift when we simply say those words of love we ache to hear, not just once, but often.

And in the speaking will be the healing for us and a blessing for them.

God still uses ordinary people

God used ordinary people, Mary and Joseph, carry out His plan. People like you and me.

Jesus told us we are to be salt and light in the earth. We ordinary people are to "season" the world around us and shine the sunshine of God's love where we are.

That starts right where we are. Married or single, with or without children, there are folks around us who need us to live true to who we are in Jesus.

Christmas is more than a season. It's the miracle of God come to earth to live among us.

Christmas is all about God's plan

It's about Jesus, God come to earth in human form, to be our Savior and Lord.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. –John 3:16 ESV

Dear reader, this year when you hear the Christmas story may you feel the awe and wonder of a little child. Jesus came for you!

And for me,

Lenore
Learning about Christmas from a few preschoolers

November 29, 2017
The only time we know how to raise children perfectly is before we have any.

Why wouldn't that be true? God creates each child to be one-of-a-kind, whether our children come to us by birth, by adoption, or because we marry a man who already is a dad.

That plunges us into a lifelong process of stretching. Growing. Learning.

We soon discover that being a mom means whatever else we may be involved in, our children remain constantly in our minds and in our hearts.

Being a mom takes all we have and then some

When our four daughters were growing up I loved them and every bit of our life, but I often felt up to my eyeballs in responsibilities.

I never once wanted to quit, but I longed to find a better way.

About that time God sent an older friend who shared her philosophy of mothering: "A mother's job is to work herself out of a job–long before her children leave home."

That "radical" thought made sense to me

Along with feeding, clothing and teaching our children, we moms are to prepare them for life. We hear all the time that life is tough, even for kids. Away from us they're on their own, whether it's at child care or in school.

When we help them develop inner strength we're living out the Golden Rule:

[Jesus said] "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

I can't think of a more loving and lasting gift we can give our children, can you?

My husband and I decided to borrow my wise friend's principles of parenting. Before long we noticed the change in our family. It seemed we all liked each other more–and ourselves, too. Over the years we watched our daughters grew into strong adults.

Those years taught me and became background for my latest book Godly Moms – Strength from the Inside Out

This collection of short pieces can be read in snatches of time. Here's one to hang onto when you're feeling stressed.

—————————————-

MADE FOR EACH OTHER

Your family is no accident. God gave you to each other.

Each child who calls you "Mom" was created just for you.

God placed you together because you need each other.

Let those sentences sink deep into your heart and your mind.

This is true even when you have conflicts and diffficulties. Even if you are as different as plums and peanut butter. Even though it seems you always say or do the wrong thing with one of your children.

Your Designer Kids need you, not the Ms. Flawless Mom who lives on the corner.

And vice versa.

You don't need the placid child next door, nor Super Kid across the street. You need that one who most often baffles you or challenges you.

God tailor-makes our children to stretch us.

To teach us.

To grow us.

Mothering opens our minds and strips away old, comfortable illusions about life.

And about ourselves.

Day after day, we're forced to cope. As we do, we may discover strengths we didn't know we had.

Weaknesses too.

No mom would label this process easy or comfortable. Growing pains never are.

When you feel overwhelmed, reassure yourself with what you know. God put together the pieces of your family jigsaw puzzle according to His plan.

It is a good one.

So walk on, trust Jesus, and be at peace.

Like your kids, you're in the process of becoming. Your heart will never shrink back to its original size.

[The Lord says,] "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." —Jeremiah 1:5a

(Excerpted from Godly Moms – Strength from the Inside Out, published by Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis.)

Moms, if you feel in over your head, take heart. Every day you leave footprints on tomorrow.

Blessings and love,

Lenore

articles

Big news! I am expecting!

Hey, moms, this one's for you

So you have a strong-willed child? Rejoice!

How to survive being a mom

May 9, 2014
When sweet, wholesome Hannah Montana becomes Miley Cyrus, what's a mother to do?

If you've been anywhere near a TV or your computer, you couldn't escape seeing shots of Miley Cyrus' performance at the MTV awards show. By all reports it was the opposite of sweet and wholesome.

For years hordes of young girls adored squeaky clean Hannah Montana and so did their moms. So when squealing girls clamored for Hannah Montana lunch boxes and T shirts and all manner of clothing items and accessories moms and dads gladly shelled out hard-earned cash.

What happened, anyway?

First, Miley Cyrus is not the first Hollywood type to disappoint and I'm pretty sure she won't be the last. She craved attention and she got it.

Second, actors act, remember? Hannah Montana was a character created by script writers and carefully maintained by the "Hannah Montana Industry."

Since we can't ignore this, why not seize upon it?

Instead of panic, why not use this for good?

Assume your kids have seen Miley's MTV performance, or at least bits of it, even if they haven't mentioned it.

Remind them that most of what we watch on-screen is acting, or at least, people reading from a script using a teleprompter.

Anyone who ever watched a filming knows contestants are instructed to be entertaining that is, loud. Even audience members clap and cheer when told to.

From now on your kids will be less gullible viewers of TV and movies. That's a good thing.

Star role models have only temporary clout

Researchers frequently interview teenagers and college students, asking who in their lives has been their greatest and most lasting influence.

Results never vary. By an overwhelming majority young people name their mothers and/or their fathers.

Let this sink in deep: You are your children's role model. For life.

Even if they argue with you. Even when they seem to reject everything you say to them. Even though they tell you they can't wait to leave home.

Sometimes that's hard to remember when our child wanders off on a tangent that may last awhile. Then we remind ourselves the end of their story has not yet been written and keep praying.

Every day we leave footprints on tomorrow

Always, what our kids see us do and hear us say matters more than our careful instructions on how to live and act. (That's true even when our children are grown.)

If we're looking for how-tos, the Apostle Paul always gives good advice. Here's a snippet from Ephesians 4:29 and 32 (NIV.)

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen . . . Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

That's not a bad model for you and me within our own family, is it?

Each family will live it their way and that's okay. God creates one-of-a-kinds, remember?

Learning, too,

Lenore

Related articles

Do your kids a favor and tell them life is not fair

Are we doomed to repeat the bad habits of our parents?

Why banishing a couple of words can bring big rewards at home
Which role models will your kids follow? You might be surprised

September 12, 2013
Every day children absorb messages about sex, either implied or in-your-face.

They soak them up from Mom and Dad. From TV cartoons and sitcoms. From the neighbors and from what teachers say and do, as well as from sex education classes.

Truths and errors drip into young minds. Kids fit them together like pieces of a puzzle and come up with their picture of what it means to be a "male" or a "female."

Prescription: Start early to lay a solid foundation

It's not possible to grab our kids and run because, well, we live in the world.

Our best strategy is to help our sons and daughters lay down solid footings on which they can build sound lives.

Call this equipping what it is: your privilege.

It's never too early and never too late. You will bless your children for life.

The idea is to make this part of casual everyday conversations. Help your children know the values you hold. Talk about the "whys" as well as the "what."

Arm your kids with the truth about sexuality and with right values. "Sexuality" and "sexual identity" go beyond body parts and sexual intercourse and involve the whole person. Males and females think differently and respond differently, both in body and mind.

Our Creator built that into us.

Are there variations between one male and another male? One female and another female? Of course, but none so striking as the differences between one gender and the other.

Mom and Dad are teaching all the time

Have you noticed that youngsters pay the most attention when you're not talking to them?

Your kids watch Mommy and Daddy and think that's how males and females are supposed to relate. When you treat each other with respect and speak well of each other, you give them a strong model to live by. Your love pats and long kisses bear witness that being married offers a lasting attraction.

What kids observe at home, day after day, outweighs whatever they may be taught in sex education classes.

Even teenagers, in numerous surveys, overwhelmingly name their parents as their most important influence.

What else can you do?

Make it a point to watch allowed television shows with your family, so you can help your kids catch innuendos and blatant sexual messages and identify sexy clothing. Talk about shows after they end. See if your kids picked up subtle messages and correct wrong impressions.

As you help your youngsters connect the dots they'll develop their own internal filters. Over time your children will begin to look and listen to life's pressures with better judgment, even when you're not around. They'll be wiser as they use their computer(s) and all the other techie marvels.

Tell it like it is

From the beginning, use the correct terminology. (If you're not sure what that is, buy a reliable book written from a Christian perspective.)

Whatever you say, frame it in the context of God's perfect design. If you read the first two chapters of Genesis, you'll notice He saved the best for last: Adam and Eve. Human beings. He told them to be fruitful and increase in number.

God saw all that he had made and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning–the sixth day. Genesis 1:31

As Christian parents, help your children develop God's view of sexuality. His good gift. Too precious to be squandered in thoughtless and casual ways.

Too wonderful to waste.

You can do it!

God gave you your children, more of his good gifts. He would not entrust you with your ohildren without empowering you for your task.

Peace and joy,

Lenore

Teaching your kids about sex. When, where, by whom?

September 30, 2011