Tag: Expectations

  • Some often-told stories speak to every one of us. Like this one:

    Picture the new teacher who comes into Blog. teacher with student. 3.6.11 imagesCAY9N1M8 a new classroom. Truth is, even veteran teachers each year come into the unknown. Each one faces a sea of eager (or bored) students, mostly strangers to them. 

    Suppose the new teacher, for whatever reason, believes students assigned to his or her classroom are super-bright. What a privilege it will be to teach these high-achievers and give them the kind of instruction they deserve! 

    Those kids respond and blossom and turn in exceptionally good work. Teacher is happy and students are happy.

    Peace reigns, day after day. 

    Near the end of the school year this teacher discovers the truth 

    These kids were not "gifted." Just the opposite. Everyone from the principal on down considered them to be chronic behavior problems. "Somehow" they all ended up with the new teacher.  

    Long-time teachers secretly rejoiced that somebody else got stuck with these "troubled learners." They knew how these kids struggled in class and got sent to the principal's office on a regular basis. Every teacher and faculty member who tried to help ended up frustrated. None would admit it out loud, but these kids simply were being moved on through the system.

    Small wonder the old guard laughed when the newbie teacher treated these youngsters as if they were high-achievers. After awhile they stopped being amused. Wonder of wonders, those "loser" students began to live up to their teacher's expectations–and then some.

    In real life it never works out this neatly, of course.

    But what if it could? What if it did?

    Perhaps we need to take a fresh look at the people in our lives. Our spouses. Our children. Our friends and extended families. The people we work with and interact with in our everyday activities.

    Have we fitted them neatly into a box because we "know" their capabilities or lack of same?

    Have we given them labels based on the past instead of on who they are today?

    It's disturbingly easy to get stuck in what they–and we–used to be. It helps to pretend you've just met and ask yourself, "Who is this person?"

    You may be surprised at what you find.

    Sometimes we do the same thing with ourselves

    Every now and then it's good to ask ourselves, Who am I today?  

    If that sounds like a strange thing to do, just pause and think how often you say, "I never," or, "I always."

    Maybe that phrase once was true, but is it an accurate description today?

    Probably more than we realize, what we expect is what will happen, over and over–with others and with ourselves.

    We all know the saying, "What you see is what you get."

    The truth of those words apply in so many areas of living, especially in our relationships. People tend to live up to our expectations. So do you and I in our self-appraisal of who we are and what we can do. 

    The Apostle Paul tells us how to get a new outlook on ourselves and on other people–in 2 Corinthians 5:17 and in Ephesians 4:32:

    Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 

    Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you.

    That's the Good News of the Christian faith if we put our trust in Jesus Christ as our Savior. That's true no matter how many times we failed. It's not about how great we are or all we've been able to accomplish. HE is the one who makes us new. All we need to do is believe this is true.

    Our outlook on other people changes, too. We're able to stop thinking they should live up to how we view them. Because of these same promises we can let go of old hurts and expectations. 

    As usual, it starts with the eyes of our heart and how we choose to see others and ourselves. Here's to looking–and seeing–with new eyes.

    Still learning, too,

    Lenore

    Keep Your Eyes Open Or You Might Miss What Matters Most

  • This time let me spin a fictional account drawn from a real-life experience, which has something to say to all of us.  

    Picture the beginning of the school year at Spring Street School:

    Blog. Teacher with student. 8. 15When brand-new teacher Angie White stopped by Principal Green's office his assistant, Sue Timms, handed her a stack of file folders.

    "You'll be replacing Martha Black, who just retired. She had your fourth-graders as third-graders last year and she kept these notes on students and class materials.

    "I'm not allowed to give you those students' grades. We never do because we want teachers and students to start fresh."

    As Angie walked to her new classroom she thought, What a nice surprise. Maybe I'll find some clues to help me get off to a good start.

    As she leafed through the folders she noticed a handwritten list of student names. Some had asterisks and some were underlined. Hmm. I'll bet these were Mrs. Black's favorites, maybe the brightest ones, or the most responsible. So many above-average kids, what fun!

    The next Monday Miss Angie greeted each child with a big smile and a name tag. At day's end she thought, I was right. These kids are great!  

    It wasn't long other teachers noted her upbeat attitude. "Well, she's a newbie," said Miss Mary to Miss Liz. "Remember when we thought we could change the world? She'll hit reality soon enough."

    Months later, at the end of the school year:

    Retired teachers were invited to the closing assembly. Afterward, Miss Angie rushed over to meet Dorothy Black. "I'm Angie White, the fourth-grade teacher who inherited your wonderful class. Thank you so much for leaving that list of students and for identifying the brightest students. Those kids are born leaders."

    Dorothy Black stared at her. "My wonderful class? My dear, you can't be talking about the children I had last year. They were the main reason I retired a year early." 

    Angie White's forehead creased. "But your list . . .  I mean, at first I was puzzled what those asterisks meant next to certain names. Then I guessed you must be pointing to the top students in the class. 

    "And you were right-on! No matter what challenge I gave those students they out-performed. They sparked the other kids to learn, too.

    "I've been so privileged to have a class like that in my first year of teaching. I'm afraid they've spoiled me for average kids."

    Dorothy Black shook her head

    "I'm confused. Please, give me some names."  

    Miss Angie started reeling off names, her eyes shining. When she finished, Miss Black took her hand. "My dear, you just named my problem children. The incorrigible ones. The ones who never turned in their homework. That's what the asterisks stood for.

    "Sandra Smith warned me what I was in for because she had those students as second-graders. She let me know which children were below-par or real behavior problems–and she was absolutely right. Last year was incredibly hard for me. To tell the truth, I'm not sure how I made it through the school year." 

    Angie White couldn't think what to say. The silence stretched on.

    At last Dorothy Black blotted her eyes and stammered, "Perhaps those children simply lived up to my expectations.

    "And my dear, they also lived up to yours."

    This tale of human nature has meaning for all of us   

    It's easy to go around expecting the worst from people and from life. It takes no effort at all to become negative in our thinking. Before long we've settled into a pattern of looking at people and life through dark-colored glasses. 

    And who wants to live like that day after day?

    The Apostle Paul shows us how to overcome that trap: 

    Finally, brothers [and sisters,] whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Philippians 4:8  NIV

    If we daily follow his advice it will lift our outlook on life and people. 

    And wouldn't we more likely enjoy our lives?

    Here's to being a "Miss Angie" in the place where we are and letting ourselves see how blessed we are!

    Praying for all of us,

    Lenore

    What if we started expecting the best?

  • That's a question worth considering because it applies to all human relationships, the workplace and even school classrooms.

    By now I've lived long enough to understand we often find what we're looking for.

    Does that sound too simplistic? Read on. This often-told story is said to be true and it carries a timeless universal message. Here's my version, all names fictional. 

    ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

    Shortly before school commenced for the year brand-new teacher Angie White visited the school office. The secretary handed her a stack of files. "Sorry, no grade transcripts. Principal Green likes new teachers to start off fresh and form their own opinions.  I do have some lists and notes Mrs. Black left behind when she retired. Last year she taught most of these children in fourth-grade."  

    Angie noticed some students had asterisks by their names and a few names were underlined. Hmm. I'll bet these were her favorites–or maybe the brightest ones or the most responsible. What a treat it will be to have a class with so many above-average kids!                               

    Next Monday the children showed up and Miss Angie greeted them with a Blog. Teacher older kids. 3.17big smile. Over time other teachers noted her consistently upbeat attitude. A couple of veterans talked about it in the teachers' lounge. Miss Lucy said, "She'll get over it soon enough. In the beginning we all thought we could change the world, too. It won't be long before our Miss White gets a dose of reality."

    At year's end Principal Green scheduled the usual closing assembly and picnic. Retired teachers were invited as special guests. As soon as she could Angie headed over to meet the teacher who had eased her way.

    "I'm Angie White, the fifth-grade teacher who inherited your wonderful class. Oh Mrs. Black, you must have been an inspiring teacher to those fourth-graders! Thanks so much for leaving behind those helpful notes that identified your brightest students. I loved teaching them. No matter how I challenged them, they amazed me with their ability."

    Dorothy Black stared at her. "My wonderful class? My dear, you must have me confused with someone else. You can't possibly be talking about the children I had last year. They were the main reason I retired early."

    Angie White's forehead creased. "But remember your list? At first I didn't know what those asterisks next to certain names might mean. Then I figured out that was your code to identify top students. And you were right-on. Those kids absolutely exceeded my expectations. It seemed they sparked everyone else, too. I was so privileged to have a class like that in my first year of teaching. Hope they didn't spoil me for next year when I get a class of kids who are just average."

    "I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about. Please give me some names!"  

    Mrs. Black took her hand. "My dear, I marked the names of the problem children, the incorrigible ones, the ones who never turned in their homework. They barely made it through fourth grade.

    "I wasn't surprised, of course, because their third-grade teacher Sandra Sims warned me to expect a rough year. Just as she said, many were below-par and a couple had real behavior problems. So I just did the best I could with them and somehow got through the year."

    Angie White looked away, clearing her throat and blinking back tears. What can I say?

    Finally Dorothy Black took her hand and her voice broke, "I see now there's no mystery, my dear. I think those children simply lived up to my expectations.

    "They also lived up to yours …"

    ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

    This little tale packs a punch, doesn't it?

    It always leaves me with questions.

    • How often do I plug in someone else's opinion instead of making my own judgments?
    • Do I expect the best or the worst out of people? Out of life?
    • Do I allow the people in my life to be who they are?

    Every day, in every instance it starts with our mindset. We can't do better than the Apostle Paul's words in Philippians 4:8:

    Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  -ESV

    Still learning, 

    Lenore

     

    Which is more important, facts or expectations?