It can happen to any of us at any time. We reach our limits. Of patience. Or money. Or hope.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” we may say to a friend. Or to ourselves. Or to God.
Our life may be good, at least from the outside, but disquiet nibbles away at our hearts.
That’s a lonely place to be.
Sometimes we also feel distant from God. We can’t seem to pray or feel connected to the Lord we love, whom we know loves us.
Then we have two choices: We can wrap ourselves up in our frustration and fretting–OR change the way we look at our life.
I hear you saying, “Talk is cheap. You don’t know how hard it is for me!”
No, I don’t. But I know how hard it is for me to climb out anytime I let myself get mired in that pit. Then I have to relearn an old lesson that I learned the hard way.
Call a halt!
By now I easily spot the red flag thinking that leads me into risky territory. It comes sounding harmless enough, just random phrases that stoke my fears or my pride, words like these:
What if ____ ?
Why doesn’t he–or she– ____ ?
Why must I always ____ ?
How long must I put up with this?
Where is God in all this?
Thoughts or words like this pull us down as surely as gravity makes the apple drop.
It took me awhile, but I finally learned to catch myself and say, “Stop!”
I don’t have a never-fail “system,” but usually I ask myself questions that run something like this:
Q: What if? A: Why tie myself up in knots about something that may or may not happen? IF or when the situation changes, I will deal with it then.
Q: Why don’t they care? A: Maybe they do. Each individual may be speaking and acting in ways that feel right to them.
Q: Why must I always ___? A: Stop with the “poor me” stuff! Is it really always? Think of times this other person gave in or came through, even when it cost them. Did I discount that simply because they didn’t react as I would?
Q: How long must I put up with this? A: Think. Am I really the only one “putting up with this”? Or does it work both ways? What’s a mutually fair way to handle this?
Q: Where is God in all this? Even those times I feel far from him, I can know that in Jesus Christ I am never alone and abandoned.
Over time I’ve learned that even though I’m the only one who hears it, when I restate the situation in a more balanced way it calms me and helps me think straight.
Fill your mental reservoir with the Good Stuff
I freely admit it took years of reading and praying–and trying and failing–before this finally became my way of thinking. I know now to make my mind switch over to what lifts my heart and eases the tension in my shoulders.
Many people advise using positive affirmations, but that doesn’t do it for me. I’ve tried repeating phrases like, “I am at peace with the world,” or “I am calm in every circumstance.”
Before long my inner nag taunts me with, “Oh yeah?”
I found it true for me that real peace comes when we connect with the Source:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27
Other Bible verses to lift us up
When we feel swamped, it helps to repeat truths like these.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear … –Psalm 46:1a
I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me? –Jeremiah 32:27
Cast all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you. –-1 Peter 5:7
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. —Philippians 4:13
Put the Good Stuff in and gradually you’ll feel the heaviness in your spirit melting away. Even if everything about your life situation stays the same, you will be changed
And I know this for sure: That makes all the difference.
(I’m just passing on what I keep relearning)
Lenore
