Tag: Happiness

A lot of people spend a lot of time wondering about the "If Onlys" of life:

    If only I could meet the right person and fall in love, then all my dreams would come true …

    If only we had better communication then our relationship would be perfect …

   If only we had a baby then our marriage would be stronger …

    If only we earned more money …

   If only we had a bigger/newer/nicer house in a better neighborhood, then life would be perfect …

    If only our children were through school and had good jobs and were married to the right people then I could stop worrying about them …

     If only I had the body I used to have …

    If only growing older weren't so scary …

    If only … then …

    If only …

    If …

There's a term for that: "Mythical thinking"

That's how some mental health professionals label it. Mythical thinking keeps us dreaming of a place where everyone and everything is–or could be–perfect.

Here's the problem. When we spend too much time daydreaming about Make Believe Land it's as if we put on blinders that shut out the sweet reality of our lives:

The beauty all around us, God's intricate creation.

The small, kind gestures of people in our lives. (Like the stranger who held open the heavy door when we were balancing shopping bags.)

The fun of watching our children grow into themselves, little by little over the years.

You and I weren't born wearing blinders

We pick them and put them on all by ourselves.

It can start with spending too much time reading other people's posts on the Internet, the ones that show their "perfect lives."

In the blink of an eye, joy flies out the window.

The thought and energy we invest on what could be/should be better takes us out of the day we're living. We risk becoming what I heard described years ago as, "Living a life fenced in on all four sides by the perpendicular pronoun, 'I.'"

That can blind us to God's daily blessings to us, large and small. We miss out on the joy of them and likely won't even think to say, "Thank you, Lord."

When we fixate on ourselves and our lives we miss a lot. We forget to encourage people around us with smiles and a few good words, such as: "Thanks!" "Good for you!" "I'm so proud of you!"

Some of us are thinking, Yes, but this is me and I don't know how to change. What am I supposed to do about that?

First comes being willing to be willing to change. With choosing to live in the now and to love in the now.

How do I start?

We always choose the outlook we put on. What God said to the Israelites applies to us, too:

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. Deuteronomy 30:19

Any time at all we can ask for help from the One who never takes His loving eyes off us:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Any time our past failings threaten to overwhelm us, the One who makes all things new is waiting:

If anyone is in Christ he (or she) is a new creation; the old has passed away; behold, the new has come.   2 Corinthians 5:17

What does it mean to be "in Christ?"

There's no big list of requirements here. When we trust in Jesus Christ as our Savior and aim to live by that faith, we are "in Christ."

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. John 3:16-17

That's the starting place and the ending place.

So how can one be happy, whatever comes?

Choose life! Choose to be alive in the moment and to see all the ways God has been–and is–blessing you.

Choose to be in Christ and know true inner peace. Nothing and no one else can bring deep-down joy that fills in your empty places.

This is not me, preaching to you. This is me sharing what countless millions of us over the centuries know to be true.

God bless you, my invisible reader friend,

Lenore
What would it take to make you happy?

March 12, 2024
We've all been there, in one of those times when our life feels as flat as a soda that's lost its fizz.

The dark mood hangs on, even though nothing in our lives has changed. Our "glass" is as full today as it was yesterday. Last week. Last month.

Yet we see emptiness, not fullness.

That's because we call it as we see it at the moment, not as it is.

It's not helpful that we may do that with our family members and friends, too. We become blind to their good points and see only their faults.

We look at our lives and say, "Well, nobody's life is perfect, but …"

Then that little voice inside asks, Couldn't my life be a bit, um, more? Couldn't that other person change just a little bit? If only ….

Trust me, it's risky to hang around too long in the land of "If only."

I know a woman, let's call her Ginny, and I doubt she ever goes there. She has a pile of problems, but you'd never guess. Ask her how she's doing and she usually replies, "Great! If my life got any better, I couldn't stand it!"

Ask her to elaborate and she'll say, "Well, I am breathing in and out–and that's a good thing. My arms and legs get me around, no help needed, and my mind works just fine. So do my eyes, even if I do need Coke-bottle eyeglasses to see well. I have a roof over my head and I eat regularly. I'm part of a church family, where we love the Lord and we love each other. Best of all, I know Jesus loves me and watches over me, so I see myself as rich."

It took me awhile to understand that every time Ginny repeats all the reasons she has to be thankful it reinforces in her mind that she is blessed and it shifts her thinking to what's good and right and true.

Does that sounds too simple? Most great truths are.

What if you and I counted our blessings not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of the year?

Suppose we gave up harping on what's wrong and bemoaning what's missing and deliberately focused on what is good. Saying it out loud helps, too, even if there's no one else around.

Picture starting each day with, "Thank you, Lord, for this day and for every blessing in my life. Thank you for promising to be with me every minute. Guide me and use me, I pray, and get me through this day."

Think how that simple change could improve our marriages, our family relationships and our friendships.

Researchers say don't stop there

Don't take my word for it. A Texas Tech University study proved the value of counting our blessings and then counting them again. They divided study participants into two groups with similar life situations.

This turned out to be a genius way to prove that even such a simple practice made a huge difference. The folks who frequently and deliberately took time to re-appreciate the good in their lives scored themselves as happier than those who didn't.

Researchers concluded that counting our blessings–over and over–reminds us of their value and helps us stay contented.

As the song says,

"Count your blessings, name them one by one . . .

"And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

Our perception of life depends on where we look.

Most of all it helps if we take our eyes off the gifts and focus on the Giver. He is the real source of life in our life.

Here are some verses to help us get us started.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Why not give it a try?

This Thanksgiving and every day may you have blessings too numerous to count–and may you have eyes to see them!

Wishing you joy,

Lenore

Put some life back in your life

November 14, 2022
If we conducted a poll it's a safe bet that a lot of people, all ages, believe the more money a person has, the happier they will be.

Hmm. If that were true, wouldn't all the "rich and famous" folks have perfect marriages and happy, well-adjusted children?

Every day the news reports give examples of how that is far from the truth.

Some counselors say it helps us keep on track to to ask ourselves every so often, "What do I value most? And how about my children?"

As always, it comes down to perspective

I couldn't help hearing parts of the conversation of two men in a waiting area. I still remember the main points of what they said. It went something like this.

They seemed comfortable with each other, one older man and one much younger. The younger man said, "Silvie and I met when we were full-time college students and working part-time jobs. She got her diploma a year ago and found a job that pays well, which was a godsend.

"When our daughter was born it seemed best for me to be a stay-at-home dad for awhile–and I'm loving it.

"Now I'm taking the rest of my college classes at night and online, so it will take me longer to get my degree. If you said we're broke you'd be right, but we're happy."

The older man laughed and said, "Hey, that's the way it's supposed to be when you're starting out, Kyle. How did you get so wise?"

Father knows best

Kyle took time to think, then said, "Well, a long time ago my dad gave me advice he guaranteed would help make for a happy marriage.

"He said my wife and I should always make sure we could get by on one income. That way if one of us couldn't work, we'd still have enough. Ellie and I talked about that and she said 'Okay, let's try it.'

"So that's what we're doing. We don't have a huge flat-screen TV, just the one my folks passed on when they upgraded to a bigger set. Our furniture is from Goodwill and hand-me-downs. We drive an old clunker and our cell phones are dinosaurs.

"But you know what? Neither of us would trade places with anybody. We're paying our bills and putting a few dollars into savings every month. We're working our plan and we're doing what matters to us. Our love is strong and we have each other and now, our healthy daughter too. Life is good."

As they got up to leave I heard the older man say, "You probably already know that your dad was a very wise man, my friend. And good for you, you know you are blessed. Not everyone does. "

Some of us can identify with that young dad

My husband and I married when we were very young and crazy in love. We were so happy to be together that nothing else mattered. For years we lived pretty much a no-frills lifestyle. I wouldn't say we "lived on love," but money was tight.

Who cared? We were together and life was good.

In those years we discovered what's been proven true over and over: Riches have nothing to do with money.

Earlier generations understood that

When I was a kid money was always tight, so my parents became experts in stretching it. I don't remember them complaining much. Nor do I recall them ever quoting wise words on being content, other than in family devotions. Then we might talk about Bible verses like 1 Timothy 6:8:

And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. NKJV

I didn't realize it then but Mom and Dad lived that verse most of the time. Their attitude seemed to be: "This the life God has given us, so let's make the most of it."

And they did, in simple ways. For example, one constant in my childhood was that no matter how often we moved, my dad planted seeds of blue morning glories in each yard. They twined gloriously up the clothesline poles. We always had all kinds of flowers along the yard fence, too.

My parents trusted God to provide and He did.

I wish I could say that I never complained, but I did, especially as a teenage girl. I wanted what "everyone else" had, knowing all the while that would never happen.

When I look back I know we were rich in what matters most

We kids knew for sure was that our mom and dad loved each other and they loved us–even though they seldom said the words. (Neither did any other parents of that era.)

We might not like what they said but we never doubted they were speaking truth, either to us or to others.

We never wondered whether one parent or the other would walk out on us.

As always, how we think makes all the difference

By now I've learned that life gets even better when we know we're blessed and remember to thank the Giver.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. Psalm 118:1

With that firmly fixed in our minds, life will be good, no matter what our circumstances.

Always, true wealth is a matter of the heart. We just need to remind ourselves often of that truth–and be at peace.

Thanks be that God, the Giver of all things, has patience with his often-forgetful children. Like me.

Warmly,

Lenore

What’s your definition of having “enough” money?

September 1, 2022
Perhaps the better question is, "How are you treating life?"

That is, what label do we paste on our days?

We seldom realize that's what we're doing, but it's true–and it becomes a habit.

A bad habit, because it gets easier and easier to fixate on what's "wrong" and subsequently miss what's right. (Or am I the only one who ever does that?)

This colors how we look at everything, maybe most of all, the people in our lives.

Finding fault and complaining starts early. Think how siblings squabble and wail, "It's my turn."

Nobody has to teach kids that annoying practice. Isn't it odd how that kind of attitude seems to lurk within each of us?

The angst of the younger generation ramps up in the teenage years, with endless complaints to parents: "You always …" or "You never … "

During those years children and teens could not fathom the internal struggles a mother or father feels. All along they live with uncertainty, nobody ever certain they are "doing it right."

Labeling saves time

Think about it. Once we label a person we don't have to think. We just plug in what we always "knew" about them–or thought we did.

Those old impressions lodge in our minds and too often we won't let go. It's more comfortable to hang onto old thinking than to take a fresh look. At ourselves.

This same pitfall dogs married couples. The person we fell in love with and married turns out to have a few faults. Yet that's the one who stays and keeps on loving us through all the highs and lows, the good times and the hard times–which happen to everyone, by the way.

Even those we judge to "have it all together."

Cause for celebration

If we're honest, at times any one of us is not that easy to live with–even in a strong marriage. True?

But do we celebrate? Nope. More often we nag and nit-pick about small habits that bug us. We whine that we don't feel appreciated for who we are and how much we give and we are the ones who deserve to be celebrated.

(How do I know this? Do you need to ask?)

We may exhibit selective sight with our adult children, as well. We focus on all the ways they need to change but remain blind to their strengths and good points. As for praise, forget about it, because we know they could do better.

Often our Inner Critic carries that over into all of life

We pick out things we wish were different and easily ignore what's good. We look "over there" for happiness and forget to look at what and who is right there in front of us.

Most of all we forget to look within ourselves.

Too often I would have to plead guilty. How about you?

But hey, old habits are hard to break. Right?

Time for a change

I've never forgotten one sermon that jolted me out of that rut.

Our pastor had the ushers hand out index cards and told us that he had found a short formula to be helpful in his life because it opened the eyes of his heart. That Sunday he decided to pass it on to us.

He suggested an experiment. Starting that day each of us was to promise ourselves to make this our personal practice. No questions would be asked. No reports of progress or lack thereof. This was to be personal.

His "formula" stuck in my memory because it's uncomplicated and short. I wrote it on an index card and taped it to my bathroom mirror as a reminder.

Did it bless my life? Yes it did, although I confess sometimes I slipped up often and some days didn't remember to try.

Here's the simple formula:

1. Leave the past at the cross of Jesus Christ, once and for all.

2. See the good.

3. Speak the good.

4. Ask God to develop this attitude within me.

U-turn required

Whatever the date and time or stage of life we're in right now, it's worth giving it a fair trial, don't you think?

According to the news and the "experts" it sounds as if everything is up for grabs. Some of us feel we're floundering and just hanging on from day to day.

This simple formula sorts out what matters most in making a good life. It reveals the emptiness of the flotsam we're flooded with every day, on every side. It reminds us to stay on track by fixing our attention on what we as individuals can control.

This list serves us in the same way a level serves a carpenter: It helps us stay balanced, today and in the future.

You and I cannot change the world, but we change our world

Living by that pastor's formula takes us a long way toward that goal.

For specifics, many people hold up the Proverbs 31 woman as an example of how we should live. I believe most of those principles apply to both sexes in a general way.

If the criteria in that chapter sound too daunting, focus on verse 26 for starters.

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Doesn't that make a worthy checklist for both women and men?

It's not hard to see how speaking kindness and appreciation would add life and light to our lives–and the lives of our spouse, our children and the people around us. This is doable for any of us.

Whatever our age or life situation, one truth applies to every one of us:

God gives us life. It's up to us how we live it.

Here's to being good learners,

Lenore

A question only you can answer: How is Life Treating You?

May 17, 2022
Are you tired of the same old, same old and looking for a lift?

That feeling comes easy in times like this, when we're weary of uncertainty and warnings day after day and restrictions about this and that.

It's tempting to fixate on what's wrong with our lives. Or our spouse. Or our kids. Our jobs–or lack of same. The four walls we live in.

Right away we post those faults front-and-center on the bulletin boards of our minds and we check it frequently. This gives us a handy reference when we're looking for something or someone to blame for our down moods.

Any time we think of something new–and we will–we pencil it in at the bottom of the list.

It's way too easy to go down that track. Trust me, a person could get stuck in that groove on the road to nowhere.

Molehills grow into mountains in no time.

Stick with the better way

Instead of a gripe list, what if we looked for reasons to be thankful instead of reasons to complain?

Call it a Happiness List or maybe, a Blessings List. Or use a title such as, "What I love about about ____."

Start with the ones you love most. Write their name at the top of a plain sheet of paper and list at least ten good things. Don't look for something huge like "Leaps tall buildings."

It's okay to start with simple things of daily life like brushing one's teeth and throwing dirty socks in the hamper. If necessary, put on your rose-colored glasses. For example, if this one never praises the cook, do they gulp down their meals without complaint? Then write that down on your list. (Eating without comment is way better than eating with complaints, isn't it?)

Do the same for each child–whatever their age–and in-law kids, if you have them. Ditto for individuals in your life who seem a problem. Look past troublesome areas and focus on their good points.

This may feel artificial, but remember your goal: You want to replace stinkin' thinkin' with the good stuff.

Post your list(s) where you can't help seeing them. Read them at least once a day, sometimes out loud and always thoughtfully. Before long you'll find worthy qualities you overlooked before.

Once we start focusing on what's good, we'll find more. This can't help but work positive change in relationships.

Put on your wider focus

It's disturbingly easy to develop tunnel vision and get all wrapped up in ourselves and our wants and needs.

The hard fact is we may not know what our loved ones are feeling. Sometimes it's because we're married to someone who bottles up feelings. Or perhaps we spend our days apart from each other and simply don't know the challenges the others face and what they deal with.

It's likely the people we love don't know our deepest thoughts and concerns, either.

It's possible to feel like a stranger with one's husband or wife, or while surrounded by one's family.

That makes every day time to talk

Talk. Talk from the heart. That can feel awkward if it's not your everyday way of relating.

What's proven helpful for many is to do "Highs and Lows" each day.

Don't fret about the "how-to." What matters is that each one feels comfortable and accepted so sharing doesn't feel risky.

First off, make it a ground rule that each person is allowed to feel what they feel–without teasing or criticism. Then while everyone is together around the dinner table:

Each family member shares the high point of their day.

Next, each one relates what felt to them like a low point that day–while the others listen.

(Keep it to "I messages," as in, "This is how it feels to me.")

Wind up with each one speaking a blessing to the others.

The answers we hear may alter our outlook a little or a lot. A Canadian proverb says it well.

"Walk a mile in my moccasins to learn where they pinch."

Big changes often start with something small

By now you may be thinking this gesture is too minor and undramatic to make any difference. Au contraire, my friends.

Gazing at the world through the perspective of people we love helps draw us closer. We become less critical because we are more aware of how they think and feel–and they of us. As we better understand what they deal with our prayers become more real and in-touch.

By the way, this is never a one-time-for-always-and-done thing. Keeping a loving, positive outlook is a daily battle within our minds. And hearts.

By no coincidence that's where we're most likely to hit quicksand.

If we're stuck in the muck, we need help to climb out

I don't know about you, but I often stumble in my walk of faith. That's why I rejoice that changing my outlook is not all up to me. When we believe in Jesus as our Savior we can be strong, even when we feel weak. He is our Helper, remember?

Here are some Bible verses to help us as we grow:

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. —Psalm 51:10

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  –2 Corinthians 5:17

So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  –Colossians 3:12-14

Our call is to start where we are and trust God to help us. As we stick with our new resolve and keep on nurturing our relationships with love, keep on growing in faith, we will change–and our happiness level will keep rising.

Learning, too,

Lenore
How to raise your happiness level right where you are

March 17, 2021
Here's a question to ponder: Are you "all in" in your marriage?

That is, where do you rank your marriage relationship in your value system?

Some wives and husbands are consumed–and fed–by their jobs.

For couples with children, either one or both may place their children's needs before everything–and everyone–else.

Still others concentrate on their personal growth and interests such as music or sports or physical fitness. That's what fills them up as individuals.

It's easy to assume the relationship between wife and husband kind of takes care of itself

As one husband said, "Well, we're married for Pete's sake. Isn't that enough of a statement?"

A wife said, "We don't have much one-on-one time anymore, but someday we will. He loves me and I love him and well, it's restful to just relax and not try so hard."

Always, the danger is that one or both spouses may feel a nagging sense something is lacking in their marriage.

Can a marriage grow strong on leftovers of time and energy?

A green plant stuck in a dark corner and watered "whenever" may cling to life, but it will be a pitiful, spindly thing. Something like that happens to a marriage relationship left on its own to wait until everyone and everything else is taken care of.

Like any living thing, a marriage needs care and tending if it's to thrive instead of wither.

Here's the good news. What nurtures the marriage also feeds and buoys up the marriage partners.

If this sounds like a win-win situation, it is.

I need a turnaround. Where do I start?

Before you do anything else, pray for fresh eyes to see, a teachable spirit and courage to change. Trust me, you'll need all three.

It's tempting to first identify all the ways your spouse needs to change, but that's a waste of time. The only person you or I can change is the one that looks back at us from our mirrors.

Try making a list of what's right instead. Use your smart phone, your computer, or plain old paper and ballpoint pen.

Whatever means you choose, hang onto this list.

Now start writing. Don't quit until you've written down ten or more qualities or habits you truly value in your wife or husband. Read it out loud to yourself.

Keep your list handy

Reread your list every day. Add to it as you spot additional pluses–and you will, now that you're looking for what's good.

One more thing–and this may be the most important–don't keep it to yourself. Compliment your husband or wife and be specific, even if it feels unnatural at first.

Pay attention to how your mood changes over time and how your spouse reacts. Is there a new warmth between you?

As this becomes your habitual way of relating to each other, you won't want to give it up.

Modeling for the next generation

Today most kids interact with peers whose parents have split. Often they fear their mom and dad will be next.

Here's how to add to their security, big -time. Youngsters who know their parents love each other deeply and put each other first experience a deep-down sense of peace and stability.

You read that right: Parents who put each other first give their children a solid, stable base for life.

Every day such parents provide life lessons on how to live as Christian marriage partners. That's more powerful than any words.

Looking for reliable guidelines?

Here are some which have stood the test of time.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal . . . Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things . . . So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. –1 Corinthians 13:1, 4-7, 13 (ESV)

I never read those words without remembering the speaker who told us, "When you read those words, substitute your own name for the word 'love.'"

Ouch!

You know and I know not one of us can live up to that list perfectly, every day.

Nevertheless, it shows us what perfect love looks like. For me, at least, it helps guide me back to the way I want to love my husband.

Still growing,

Lenore

How to be happier in the marriage you’re in

September 21, 2016
Another Thanksgiving Day is upon us, a day to count our blessings and thank the Giver.

Yet the news is filled with terrorist acts. We're more likely to be counting our reasons to feel anxious than reasons to celebrate what's good.

As always, it's all about our perspective.

Picture that first Thanksgiving in 1621. Late the previous autumn the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth, MA, with 102 people. Now only 50 adults remained alive. The original group included 18 adult women, but only four lived to see that first Thanksgiving.

Yet those survivors set aside a day to give thanks to God.

It's the same today as at that first Thanksgiving. Having a thankful heart has nothing to do with abundance. Or with everything going just right in our lives.

The Pilgrims knew the real "why" for giving thanks and we can, too.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good;
For His lovingkindness is everlasting. –Psalm 118:29 (NASB)

Gratitude flows from remembering the Giver

Here's a new twist on how to keep track of our blessings.

I heard an interview with a man who works with recovering alcoholics and their families. He passed on one practice that has worked well with his clients. It can benefit you and me, too.

It's a simple process: Keep gratitude lists for our lives.

Keep one for each family member, one for work, one for school, etc. Use regular paper or sticky notes.

Look for things to be thankful for in each person and in each situation

Add to our list(s) whenever we notice something more

Reread our lists (or notes) frequently

Notice how our awareness and sense of gratitude grows

The counselor said even troubled people in hard circumstances found their point-of-view changed. Although everything in their lives might stay the same, these individuals became happier and more contented.

He said writing down how we're blessed is effective it helps us learn that rich or poor, married or single, our happiness is our own responsibility.

Using sticky notes to affirm others

We can help each other along by being encouragers. Sometimes we find it easier to compliment "outsiders" than our own family members.

No flowery speeches needed. Just a few words on a sticky note can break down barriers:

"Thanks for making your bed."

"I'm so glad I'm married to you!"

"Thanks for letting your brother go first."

"Great report card!"

You get the picture.

Taking it one step further

Another speaker suggested sticky notes can help break bad habits and form new ones. She wrote reminders to herself and placed them around the house. Like "Remember your diet!" on her stash of chocolates.

Because she wanted to start being a more positive person, she wrote, "Smile!" on sticky notes. She stuck the little reminders on her bathroom mirror, on her computer screen, over the stove, in her car, etc.

Later she began writing favorite Bible passages on pieces of paper and Scotch-taping them around the house, every day a new one. She found it made a dramatic difference in her perspective on life.

I've done that, too, in a sort of disorganized fashion. Here are some of my favorite reassuring verses:

The joy of the LORD is your strength. –Nehemiah 8:10

As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed. He remembers that we are dust.                                                                                          —Psalm 103 :13-14

God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.                                                                                          –Psalm 46:1-2

The reason for thanks is because God is good

So good He offers us salvation through Jesus Christ:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. –John 3:16

Happy Thanks-giving–every day!

By the way, I give thanks for each of you who stop by for a visit now and then. Truly, I do.

Love,

Lenore
How sticky notes can raise your happiness level

November 24, 2015
Isn't it easy to look at someone else's life and think they have it easy?

You've heard that old saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."

Here's what never gets said, "Yes, but you still have to mow it."

I confess. Early on, I spent a lot of time looking around at other people's lives and thinking, "If only … ."

Maybe you're familiar with that swamp, the one filled with, "If only my life were easier. If only I were a better _____ ." Etc.

I could have filled in that blank with at least a dozen ways in which either my life or I could be "better." After awhile I got older and smarter and recognized the obvious. No one lives an "easy" life and no one is perfect. Every one of us deals with stresses and problems and difficulties in relationships.

Some people think daydreaming is harmless and costs nothing. Not true. While we have our heads in the clouds we miss out on the day and the life we actually inhabit.

It's good to stop and now and then and take stock. Try making a list of what's good in your life. Oh, and forget "perfect." Concentrate instead on what's "good."

I discovered it helped to pretend I was someone else, a reporter, perhaps. What would I write about the woman in the mirror and the life she lived?

I used that list as a starting point for giving thanks to the Giver every day or so. By the time I worked my way through that list I'd be adding to it.

You can guess what happened, can't you? That little exercise became a habit, a way of thinking about my life. Each time I read it and thanked God for these blessings, I felt more blessed.

Before long when I realized I was happy. I liked myself better, too.

Did anything change about my life? Nope. Only my perception. And that made all the difference.

Like so many others before me, I learned the truth of Proverbs 23:7, as translated in the King James or Revised Standard Version. Here it is, slightly paraphrased.

As a [woman] thinks in [her] heart, so is [she.]

So, dear reader, here's my challenge for you: Try it for yourself. Then share your findings with the rest of us by using the comments form below.

Blessings and joy,

Lenore

Looking for happiness? Take a fresh look around

May 26, 2010