Tag: Kids

  • That may sound like an extreme statement, but here's a true-life story that illustrates the point. 

    Nine-year old Lawson is playing with his dog in the grassy area beyond his backyard. Mom yells from the back door, "Lawson, it's time to come in."

    Blog. boy looking up at tree. 2.09No response.

    "Lawson! Time to come in!"

    No response.

    Mom yells again. And again.

    Still no response. By now Mom feels her temperature rising, especially since she can see that her son is not far away and staring intently up at a tree.

    "Lawson James! You get yourself in here right now, young man!"

    Lawson takes his time coming in, a slight smile at the corners of his mouth. 

    His mother stands waiting, with hands on her hips. "You'd better have a good excuse, young man! Now you tell me why you didn't come when I called you!"

    "Well … I didn't hear you the first four times you called."

    Resistance comes in different packages

    Some kids plant their feet and holler, "No!" as if daring you to do anything about it. That kind of open defiance is easy to spot.

    Others are more subtle, like the child who appears smiling and compliant, but habitually "forgets." If this behavior is chronic don't immediately assume it's deliberate. For some, there's an underlying problem such as ADD or ADHD, which makes consulting a licensed professional a worthwhile idea.

    Some children quickly agree with you, often with a smile or laugh, but then don't do what they said they would do. Note: Both "forgetters" and "agrees, but doesn't do its" offer passive resistance. That's not as in-your-face as defiance, but these pint-sized human relations experts know parents find that easier to take.  

    The "Lawsons" of this world know exactly how far they can push Mom or Dad. They usually obey. Eventually. They'll give in when they are ready, that is, just before you blow your top. If this sounds like a battle of wills, that's exactly what it is. 

    Consider such tactics the child's way of exercising the limited power at their disposal. 

    Are these kids evil? No. They're human. That is, not perfect, like every other human being.

    Nobody said parenting would be easy

    Still, few of us realize ahead of time how long it can take to teach important lessons. We get tired and lose heart.

    We may ask ourselves, why bother to keep trying? The answer is easy. It's because all the studies show that youngsters who learn to obey and to respect authority have an easier time in school and also navigating through adolescence.

    No one formula exists, but here some general pointers:

        Principle one: Figure out what really matters in your family and talk about it.

        Principle two: Pick your battles carefully.

        Principle three: Don't say it unless you mean it. But if you say it, make it stick.

        Principle four: Be consistent. Whatever your rules were yesterday, stick with them today.  Otherwise, you start over tomorrow. Besides, children feel more secure when they don't have to wonder whether you mean it … this time. 

        Principle five: Learn to laugh.

    All the while you're teaching and modeling, without a word

    Any time you lose your temper or raise your voice, you hand over some of your authority as the parent. (Yes, I know how daunting and hard that is. I should, because I slipped up many times.)

    As I got better at staying focused I realized being consistent actually saved time–as well as my sanity. Otherwise, any kid with even minimal levels of spunk will keep testing you just to see if you still mean it.

    This tiresome maneuver can go on a very long time, especially with those children we label "strong-willed." If Dad and Mom stick to the limits they laid down, eventually even these guerilla fighters get bored and stop trying. 

    Parenting is a long-term course in personal growth

    Being in authority may make you uncomfortable, but remember, God gave you these children. He knows your stress levels and he equips you for the task He gives you. 

    As our children grow and we face new challenges, we parents continue to grow stronger from within. Stronger in character, with a clearer fix on what we as individuals stand for. Most of the time we also pick up all kinds of useful personal skills.

    When you feel overwhelmed, remember Paul's truth and take it to heart:

    "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

    That includes living with a Resistance Fighter who happens to be your child.

    Take it from one who survived,

    Lenore

    Kids: “The Resistance Movement”

  • I remember being an earnest young mom trying so hard to do everything right and be sure our little darlings were safe.

    One dear older lady watched me washing off my toddler and every surface around her. If our little girl dropped a toy I'd snatch it up and wash it Blog. Mom washing childs hands.before giving it back to her.

    This sweet older friend said, "Aw Honey, don't worry about a little dirt. We all eat a bushel of dirt before we die, anyhow."

    I stared at her in shock, wondering if she was kidding.

    She wasn't. 

    Because I was young and insecure–and informed!–I assumed she simply didn't know better, so I paid no attention. The washing and wiping continued.

    The "experts" are agreeing with her

    After years of advising us to use not only soap and water, but sanitizers and wipes so we can be super-clean, now they're saying, "Well, maybe not."

    The new thinking is that all that washing and sanitizing is part of the reason we have super-germs.

    Put another way, ever-present "normal" germs got wiped away. Bacteria that survived mutated and got stronger.

    What we have now are "super bugs," resistant to the usual antibiotics, placing both children and adults at greater risk.

    "Don't get dirty!" may not be such good advice

    Anxious moms don't like little ones to play in the dirt because, well, who knows what's in it? 

    Here's what WebMD says about kids and dirt:

    "The 'hygiene hypotheses' holds that when exposure to parasites, bacteria, and viruses is limited early in life, children face a greater chance of having allergies, asthma, and other autoimmune diseases during adulthood.

    ". . . Just as a baby's brain needs stimulation, input, and interaction to develop normally, the young immune system is strengthened by exposure to everyday germs so that it can learn, adapt, and regulate itself, notes Thom McDade, PhD, associate professor and director of the Laboratory for Human Biology Research at Northwestern University."

    In a recent study they found that children who were around animals and who had more cases of diarrhea before they were two years old had less incidence of inflammation in their bodies as they grew into adulthood.

    That's important because now they know inflammation links to many chronic adult illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease and Alzheimer's.

    McDade goes on to say, "Microbial exposures early in life may be important . . . to keep inflammation in check in adulthood."

    Out of love and good intentions we've been trying to raise our kids in germ-free environments. Who would have guessed we may be depriving them of the opportunity to build a strong immune system for life?

    Much like my long-ago older friend, Professor McDade advocates common sense: "You don't have to wash or sanitize everything."

    Here's my simple conclusion

    God created the earth and everything in it. Obviously, that includes the dirt under our feet.

    God makes us one-of-a-kind and gifts human beings with the ability to think, giving some an affinity for science and medicine.

    Nothing surprises our loving God, because the Bible tells us He is all-knowing. Period. He knows everything that is to come and exactly what mankind will need to handle it. 

    That means you and I can say with the writer of Psalm 121:7:

    The LORD will keep you from all harm– he will watch over your life;

    So relax, dear friend. God's got it all covered.

    (Besides, we'll eat a bushel of dirt before we die.)

    Lovingly,

    Lenore

    Moms, don’t be afraid of dirt!