Tag: Life

  • We've all been there, in one of those times when our life feels as flat as a soda that's lost its fizz.

    The dark mood hangs on, even though nothing in our lives has changed. Our "glass" is as full today as it was yesterday. Last week. Last month.

    Yet we Blog. Glass half empty. 11.11see emptiness, not fullness.

    That's because we call it as we see it at the moment, not as it is.

    It's not helpful that we may do that with our family members and friends, too. We become blind to their good points and see only their faults.

    We look at our lives and say, "Well, nobody's life is perfect, but …"

    Then that little voice inside asks, Couldn't my life be a bit, um, more? Couldn't that other person change just a little bit? If only ….

    Trust me, it's risky to hang around too long in the land of "If only."

    I know a woman, let's call her Ginny, and I doubt she ever goes there. She has a pile of problems, but you'd never guess. Ask her how she's doing and she usually replies, "Great! If my life got any better, I couldn't stand it!"

    Ask her to elaborate and she'll say, "Well, I am breathing in and out–and that's a good thing. My arms and legs get me around, no help needed, and my mind works just fine. So do my eyes, even if I do need Coke-bottle eyeglasses to see well. I have a roof over my head and I eat regularly. I'm part of a church family, where we love the Lord and we love each other. Best of all, I know Jesus loves me and watches over me, so I see myself as rich." 

    It took me awhile to understand that every time Ginny repeats all the reasons she has to be thankful it reinforces in her mind that she is blessed and it shifts her thinking to what's good and right and true.

    Does that sounds too simple? Most great truths are.

    What if you and I counted our blessings not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of the year?

    Suppose we gave up harping on what's wrong and bemoaning what's missing and deliberately focused on what is good. Saying it out loud helps, too, even if there's no one else around.

    Picture starting each day with, "Thank you, Lord, for this day and for every blessing in my life. Thank you for promising to be with me every minute. Guide me and use me, I pray, and get me through this day."

    Think how that simple change could improve our marriages, our family relationships and our friendships.

    Researchers say don't stop there

    Don't take my word for it. A Texas Tech University study proved the value of counting our blessings and then counting them again. They divided study participants into two groups with similar life situations. 

    This turned out to be a genius way to prove that even such a simple practice made a huge difference. The folks who frequently and deliberately took time to re-appreciate the good in their lives scored themselves as happier than those who didn't.

    Researchers concluded that counting our blessings–over and over–reminds us of their value and helps us stay contented.

    As the song says,

    "Count your blessings, name them one by one . . .

    "And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

    Our perception of life depends on where we look.

    Most of all it helps if we take our eyes off the gifts and focus on the Giver. He is the real source of life in our life.

    Here are some verses to help us get us started.

    The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.  Psalm 28:7

    So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught and overflowing with thankfulness.                                         Colossians 2:6-7

    Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.     1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

    Why not give it a try? 

    This Thanksgiving and every day may you have blessings too numerous to count–and may you have eyes to see them!

    Wishing you joy,

    Lenore

    Put some life back in your life

  • Perhaps the better question is, "How are you treating life?"

    That is, what label do we paste on our days?

    Blog. pensive%20woman%20resized. 7.23.10We seldom realize that's what we're doing, but it's true–and it becomes a habit.

    A bad habit, because it gets easier and easier to fixate on what's "wrong" and subsequently miss what's right. (Or am I the only one who ever does that?)

    This colors how we look at everything, maybe most of all, the people in our lives.

    Finding fault and complaining starts early. Think how siblings squabble and wail, "It's my turn." 

    Nobody has to teach kids that annoying practice. Isn't it odd how that kind of attitude seems to lurk within each of us? 

    The angst of the younger generation ramps up in the teenage years, with endless complaints to parents: "You always …" or "You never … "

    During those years children and teens could not fathom the internal struggles a mother or father feels. All along they live with uncertainty, nobody ever certain they are "doing it right."

    Labeling saves time

    Think about it. Once we label a person we don't have to think. We just plug in what we always "knew" about them–or thought we did.

    Those old impressions lodge in our minds and too often we won't let go. It's more comfortable to hang onto old thinking than to take a fresh look. At ourselves.

    This same pitfall dogs married couples. The person we fell in love with and married turns out to have a few faults. Yet that's the one who stays and keeps on loving us through all the highs and lows, the good times and the hard times–which happen to everyone, by the way.

    Even those we judge to "have it all together."

    Cause for celebration  

    If we're honest, at times any one of us is not that easy to live with–even in a strong marriage. True?

    But do we celebrate? Nope. More often we nag and nit-pick about small habits that bug us. We whine that we don't feel appreciated for who we are and how much we give and we are the ones who deserve to be celebrated. 

    (How do I know this? Do you need to ask?)

    We may exhibit selective sight with our adult children, as well. We focus on all the ways they need to change but remain blind to their strengths and good points. As for praise, forget about it, because we know they could do better. 

    Often our Inner Critic carries that over into all of life  

    We pick out things we wish were different and easily ignore what's good. We look "over there" for happiness and forget to look at what and who is right there in front of us.

    Most of all we forget to look within ourselves.

    Too often I would have to plead guilty. How about you?

    But hey, old habits are hard to break. Right?

    Time for a change

    I've never forgotten one sermon that jolted me out of that rut.

    Our pastor had the ushers hand out index cards and told us that he had found a short formula to be helpful in his life because it opened the eyes of his heart. That Sunday he decided to pass it on to us.

    He suggested an experiment. Starting that day each of us was to promise ourselves to make this our personal practice. No questions would be asked. No reports of progress or lack thereof. This was to be personal.

    His "formula" stuck in my memory because it's uncomplicated and short. I wrote it on an index card and taped it to my bathroom mirror as a reminder.

    Did it bless my life? Yes it did, although I confess sometimes I slipped up often and some days didn't remember to try. 

    Here's the simple formula:

    1.  Leave the past at the cross of Jesus Christ, once and for all.

    2.  See the good.

    3.  Speak the good.

    4. Ask God to develop this attitude within me.

    U-turn required

    Whatever the date and time or stage of life we're in right now, it's worth giving it a fair trial, don't you think? 

    According to the news and the "experts" it sounds as if everything is up for grabs. Some of us feel we're floundering and just hanging on from day to day.

    This simple formula sorts out what matters most in making a good life. It reveals the emptiness of the flotsam we're flooded with every day, on every side. It reminds us to stay on track by fixing our attention on what we as individuals can control.

    This list serves us in the same way a level serves a carpenter: It helps us stay balanced, today and in the future.

    You and I cannot change the world, but we change our world

    Living by that pastor's formula takes us a long way toward that goal.

    For specifics, many people hold up the Proverbs 31 woman as an example of how we should live. I believe most of those principles apply to both sexes in a general way. 

    If the criteria in that chapter sound too daunting, focus on verse 26 for starters. 

    She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

    Doesn't that make a worthy checklist for both women and men?  

    It's not hard to see how speaking kindness and appreciation would add life and light to our lives–and the lives of our spouse, our children and the people around us. This is doable for any of us. 

    Whatever our age or life situation, one truth applies to every one of us: 

    God gives us life. It's up to us how we live it.

    Here's to being good learners,

    Lenore

    A question only you can answer: How is Life Treating You?

  • "Strategies to make every day better." It sounds too simple, doesn't it?

    Blog. 3 Strategies Woman. 4.15I hear you saying, "If I'm having 'one of those days,' how on earth can I make it better?"

    But you can, I can, we all can.

    If we choose to grab hold of the power. Here's how. 

    1.  Decide to make it a good day

    When I was a young mom I read a book that challenged my thinking.

    The author maintained that more than any other factor, our thoughts dictate the happiness level of our lives. Each day we decide it will be a "good" day or a "bad" day and then act accordingly. 

    Could that be true? I thanked God our life was good and I wanted to be a happy mama, but most days I was more of a dreary mama.

    The next day I woke up in a lousy mood, then remembered what the author said. (Insert groan.) Okay, I would try it for myself. I would fake smiles and act cheerful and not expect much in return.    

    Surprise. My husband smiled back and kissed me more enthusiastically before he left the house. All day our children squabbled less and seemed happier. When problems arose instead of awfulizing and complaining to God, I murmured, "Lord, help me."

    And one way or another, He did. 

    Looking around the dinner table each family member seemed more contented, including me. At bedtime even our balkiest child trotted upstairs without argument.

    As for me, instead of my usual rundown of "what ifs" I fell asleep quickly.

    The next morning I tested that far-out theory again, with the same pleasing results. I promised myself that every day I would decide to have a good day. 

    Over time that simple practice bore a lovely crop of good fruit in our marriage and our kids.  

    Did I slip up now and then? Sure. Then I would start over again, asking the Lord's ever-present help.  

    So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  –Isaiah 41:10  NIV

    2.  Believe you are–or will be–well and strong

    At first this strategy made no sense. If I'm feeling achy or have an actual health problem, that's beyond my control. Right?

    Not necessarily.  

    Chalk it up to how suggestible we all are. Healthy or not, any time we ask ourselves, "Where do I hurt?" we can find some area or body part that doesn't feel quite right.

    Then we begin to wonder what it means, maybe even spend time on Google trying to figure it out.

    That line of thinking guarantees we'll feel worse.

    Even if we have chronic health problems, our thoughts make us feel better or worse.

    Every time it helps to concentrate on, "I know God is with me and He will never leave me."  

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  –Philippians 4:6-7  NIV 

    3.  Choose to live love  

    Love is all about emotion. We're "in love" as long as we feel love toward another person.

    Isn't that what we all believe and read and watch on the screen? (That's fiction, remember?)

    To build something more lasting we do well to consider a basic principle of Marriage Encounter. It runs contrary to popular thought:

    "Love is a daily decision."

    Not a feeling. Not a mood. Not an emotion.  

    Every day we decide all over again to love. To speak and act in loving ways and work to strengthen our relationship.  

    We decide today to love the person our spouse is today. 

    If that sounds artificial, think back to before marriage. Didn't we take care to speak love and show love even on our bad days?  

    In every stage of life we can pick out what's good or fixate on what's missing. Whichever we choose will affect how we treat each other.

    Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.   –Ephesians 4:2-3  NLT

    It's not rocket science   

    I wouldn't pretend I've lived these strategies perfectly and I'm not much for "programs." All I know is these principles changed me and changed my life for the better.

    Whatever your situation, why not give it a try?

    Lovingly,

    Lenore 

    Strategies to make every day better

  • Sorry I've been so stingy with posts lately, but we've been moving.

    Well, not really. It's just our stuff that's been moving.Blog. 4.15.10 painting-wall_300

    It started (as it often does) with me, thinking we needed to paint our great room and kitchen. Let's say this has, a-hem, been mentioned before.

    This time my husband surprised me and said, "Well, call someone and get an estimate."

    Yeah!

    This would be a first, since sanity dictated we needed to let a pro paint our high ceilings. So I made one phone call to a painter we knew and set off a whirlwind. By the time he arrived next morning to give us an estimate, we had decided to paint all our interior walls but the laundry room and my office. After all, in our home you can stand in the hall and see into all the other rooms. 

    (By now I'm off-the-charts delighted and ready to nominate my spouse for Husband of the Year.)

    When would said painter have an opening? Well, he said, "I have several exterior jobs scheduled, but they predict rain all next week. This is Saturday. Any chance you could be ready by, say, Monday?"

    We looked at each other and said, of course we could, since they would move all the furniture out to  our garage. "All" we had to do between then and Monday was to take down the pictures, clear off the bookshelves and all other surfaces, strip down the place to furniture only….  Everything ended up in the laundry room, the garage, our not-to-be painted closet and yes, my office–the only safe places in the house.

    Monday morning they showed up promptly at 8 a.m. For the next three days we wandered around, going home only to sleep and glad they used low-odor paint. (Since they did one area at a time we would always have a bed to sleep in.) Yes, we could have left town, but we both wanted to be available and to be able to see the progress.

    They finished up Wednesday evening, earlier than expected. The painters had set the furniture back in place and cleaned up after themselves neatly, but we when we looked around, we groaned. All that stuff we yanked off the shelves over the weekend had to go back, piece by piece. Worse yet, although we had been told there would be "dust" from spraying the ceilings, we hadn't realized how, despite their masking off surfaces, this film would cling to every inch of every surface and not wipe off. That meant anything not freshly painted would need to be cleaned and polished…first.

    Years ago I swore off spring housecleaning, but that's what it feels like. The good news is that we suddenly have clean windows and polished cabinets and furniture. I've worked my way through most of the piles, bought a new shower curtain, etc. After all, while we're at it, maybe this thing would look better over there, which means that place needs something, so maybe if I move this and then take that over there….

    You get the picture. Please be kind and don't even mention the mountain of laundry that nags at me. 

    So it's been fun, but also exhausting. The beige-y color is great and everything looks fresh and clean. Still, it's a new color scheme, don'tcha know? So some things don't work as well with this.  (It's kind of nice to have an excuse to replace a few things.) 

    By now I want it to be o-v-e-r. I love our new digs, but I want to settle in and get on with life.

    You might say we had all the "fun" of moving, with the added bonus of already knowing our great community. Both my husband and I agree that we probably needed to be pushed out of our, shall we say, ruts–and that's a good thing.

    Question for you: What's your story about moving, or about being nudged out of your comfort zone?

    Blessings,

    Lenore

     

     

     

     

    How to move without leaving home