Tag: Mothers

  • Dear Moms,

    Trust me: It's all worth it!

    You recognize the sweet moments of mothering for what thBlog. Mom cooking w. child. 7.11ey are.

    Here's what I know now that I missed when our children were growing up:

    The not-so-sweet moments are worth just as much. 

    From this vantage point I understand that every day is a "puzzle piece" in the whole of your life.

    Those "nothing days" add depth you can't recognize in the middle of making a life. The tiresome, mundane stuff you do every day just because you're a mom are necessary to complete the design.

    It's easy to lose sight of that in the middle of changing one more poopy diaper. Or mopping up spills on the floor you just cleaned. (Why can't it stay clean at least one day?) Or listening to another recital of, "Mommeee, look what he did to me!" followed by, "It's not my fault. She started it!"

    I confess that too often I forgot that the chaos was happy chaos and forgot to appreciate that my life was good and rich and full. 

    Maybe you do, too.

    Keep the Big Picture in Mind

    I know now that every day counts, even those days so pointless or frustrating you could scream. You are leaving tracks on your child's tomorrows, one tiny bit at a time.

    The old truth, "More is caught than taught," applies here.

    Mom love often looks like cleaning up and mopping up. Loving and praying for strength. Cooking and packing lunches. Throwing smelly clothes into the washer. Loving and praying for patience. Chauffeuring kids and cleaning up messes and loving. Praying to know what to do. Forgiving and forgetting. Loving. Praying. Falling into bed exhausted and starting over the next morning.

    Take a fresh look. See your life for what it is: a work-in-progress

    That's fitting, since your children, too, are a work-in-progress. 

    Every part of every day, they're growing.

    Whatever stage they're in, they are in the process of becoming.

    You are, too.

    So relax

    Let go of straining to "do it right." Forget keeping track of how many boxes you can check on the latest "Effective Parenting Techniques" list.

    Your kids are following you around, watching how you role-model dealing with everyday life. Every day they conduct their own comparison study on whether what you do matches what you say. 

    That's what they'll remember–and copy–as they live their lives.

    Please take that as encouragement. If you're loving your kids and forgiving them when they mess up and accepting them for who they are, that's what they'll remember.

    And you are not on your own. Just ask God to show you the way to love your family as they need to be loved and to give you strength for the day. You can trust Him to be faithful.

    So just love your kids and be yourself. It's okay not to be The Coolest Mom on the Block. 

    Take the Long View

    Will it all be good? Maybe not. You might travel through some rough patches or trying years. One child may be extra hard to handle or have special needs that don't go away. Another may develop big problems you hadn't noticed earlier. Your teenager or young adult child may disappoint you. Or worry you. Or drive you to your knees.

    Not one of us wants our children to struggle, but it doesn't mean God has walked away.

    From the struggle may come the strength, for them and for you.

    Remember, He's growing you, too.

    Where to turn when you feel overwhelmed

    Don't hang around in risky territory, such as thinking I can't take any more of this. You can get stuck in that quicksand.

    Take charge of your thoughts. (I promise it gets easier with practice.) 

    Focus your attention on the privilege of rearing the children you've been given. Even on your most trying days, remember this: 

    God gave you your children because you are just right for each other.

    Some days you may run on empty

    That's the time to put the good stuff in. Find some Bible verses that speak to your heart and fill your mind with them. I find it helps me to change my mindset if I repeat favorite Bible verses to myself.  

    Here's a favorite Bible verse you probably know. I underlined it in my Bible years ago and it still speaks to me when I'm feeling weary. 

    He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:29-31

    Dear friends and fellow moms, breathe in that strength that never runs out and hang on. You are right where you're supposed to be and every day counts.

    Take it from one who found it to be true: It's all worth it!

    Love from my heart to yours, 

    Lenore 

    A love note to moms, the real movers and shakers

  • Someone has said, "When a child is born, a mother is born."

    It may be hard to imagine of our own moms, but it's true. Every mother since time Blog. Mother combing girls hair. Cassatt. 5.15began has groped her way through unknown territory, made mistakes and learned on the job.  

    I know people who consider their moms angels. 

    I also know a few who've always blamed their mothers for ruining their lives and they long to erase even their memory of them.

    Probably most of us fall somewhere in between.

    Knowing now what I wish I knew then

    My mother died way too young, a few months after she turned 54. It took me a long time to understand how much of her is in me.

    Like my love of music.

    All I knew as a preacher's kid was that my parents were always up front. Mom always played the organ or piano for everything.  

    She also gave piano lessons. Every day one or more kids, usually towed by eager parents, showed up in our living room after school. With them came the standard admonition: "Be quiet."

    That meant my job was to keep my three noisy, energetic sisters quiet for most of an hour and often to get supper started. The clock never moved slower! All in all, I considered Mom's music more a nuisance than a blessing. 

    I yearned for a "normal" mother

    As far back as I can remember once the evening chores were done Mom would play the piano for her own enjoyment, often the music of classical composers.

    Music had drawn my parents together in the beginning, so when Dad had a free night he often joined her, his beautiful tenor soaring while she accompanied him.  

    Small wonder that many a Sunday he would not only preach, but sing a solo while Mom, the organist/pianist accompanied him.

    The congregation always loved it. I knew my parents were talented, but as a kid I wished they were sitting with us in the pew instead of always up front.

    What I didn't understand in time 

    Because of who she was I became familiar with classical and folk melodies and absorbed music through my pores. Every time I hear some of Mom's favorites, I think of her. 

    I wish I had told her that while I had the chance.

    Mom left more than music behind. With her love of beauty and sense of style she made the most of Dad's small salary. She'd stick one zinnia in a vinegar bottle and have a centerpiece.

    Besides that, she knew how to jazz up an old outfit and give it some style. My mother probably learned that from her mother, who made fancy hats and clothing and turned out intricate needlework.  

    Mom held her own in the kitchen, too. She knew how to make food taste good and look good.

    The perpetual student 

    Most of her life my mother kept on learning, everything from trying a new recipe to mastering a challenging concerto. 

    Was she perfect? No. Is anyone?

    I think the demands of her life often overwhelmed her. Today I view her failings more charitably than I once did, probably because I know my own so well.

    I know now Mom did what most of us do, the best she knew how. I thank God for her life and her faithfulness.  

    My mom believed in Jesus

    Because she absolutely trusted Him and believed Bible verses like this, she did not fear death. 

    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. –John 3:16  (ESV)

    Like her, I live in the forgiveness all believers share and I know when Mom stopped breathing she went home to Him.

    Yet my mother lives within me still, as elusive as the whiff of a fragrance I can't quite identify.

    And I am grateful, so grateful.

    Question for you: In what way(s) do you carry your mother with you?

    Blessings and joy,

    Lenore

    Mothers, the lingering fragrance in our minds and hearts

  • Blog. mom-and-tween-talking. 5.3. 11

    Let's face it. Kids sniff out phoniness faster than a bloodhound after a bank robber. 

    Youngsters assume their observations on How Adults Really Live are way more accurate than the frequent parental blah, blah, blahs they hear.

    Every day situations provide built-in object lessons that prove (to them, at least) whether we mean what we tell them.

     No wonder they stay alert, ready to pick up on how Mom (and Dad) respond in one situation or another.

     *  A cashier gives Mommy change for a $20-dollar bill when she paid with a ten-spot. 

    *  Mom falls for a gorgeous pair of shoes–another gorgeous pair of shoes. She leaves the bag in the car until her husband goes off to a meeting, then hides the shoes in the back of the closet. Some time later she wears them and Dad says,  "New shoes?"

     *  A casual friend calls about going out to lunch and Mom answers, "Sorry, I'm already committed for the day," which isn't true.

    *  Mother takes Daughter shopping and finds the perfect prom dress, one that fits like a dream. Miracle of miracles, both of them like the same dress. On the way home reality hits. That dress cost twice as much as Mother planned and it has to go back. So she delivers the sad news. "Honey, we have to take this dress back."

    Daughter replies, "Oh, no problem, Mom. I'll just tuck the price tag inside and wear the dress Saturday night. Then Monday we take the dress back to the store and you get all your money back. That's what all the girls do."  

    What's a mother to do?

    Over and over we choose how we deal with life. Our choices determine which lessons our children take away. If our actions back up our words they learn one lesson. If not, we teach another.

    Tough, but true, 24/7. 

    Whenever we lose heart it's good to remember that moms and dads hold a unique position, even today. In every survey teens still say their parents are the biggest influence in their lives. That means we impact the next generation, too.

    Sounds to me like an honor and a privilege, reason to celebrate, every day.

    How about you?

    Lovingly,

    Lenore

     

     

     

     

    Mom’s most effective way to teach her children