Have you ever wanted to scream because you were so busy you felt your life was out of control and this time you might snap?
Me, too.
I've learned it has nothing to do with our age, or whether we're married or single, with children or none. Nor does it matter if we work for a salary or are a full-time homemaker.
It's all about being over-committed.
Usually by our own choice.
One author, Christine Carter, labels it "the busy-ness trap."
Three words packed with meaning
We feel squeezed and squashed. We look through our lists for what to cut, but hardly make a dent. We are needed . . . everywhere. By everyone.
That's why it's so difficult to carve out pieces of our days for ourselves.
Yet our inner wail persists: I need some time marked "me." And if we don't take it–or make it–we become as dry as the Sahara.
Then we'll drudge through our days without heart, without joy–even when we're with the people we love most.
I know that desert territory. How about you?
But isn't taking time for ourselves self-centered?
It feels shallow and selfish to say "No" to someone we care about or to refuse a worthwhile cause. Especially for Christians.
After all, Jesus told us that love means sharing. Serving others. Giving ourselves away. Putting others ahead of ourselves. Besides, if we've walked with Him for very long we know we can get through anything because He strengthens us.
So we pray and try harder. We push ourselves to the max, and give our all. Our bodies pump out adrenaline that enables us to meet the challenge and get through it.
To get through a crisis is one thing. By definition, a crisis has a beginning and an ending point.
Some of us choose to live in crisis mode 24/7. For years on end.
Over time we'll pay the price in our mental and physical health
You probably know someone who is proud of being a multi-tasker. People like that often announce they're over-committed and may feel a sense of pride in their ability to cope.
One friend, "Elle," managed to hold it together as long as she kept to her packed schedule. Everyone who knew her said, "She's amazing!"
Then one morning Elle couldn't get out of bed and landed in the hospital. Test results were inconclusive so her long-time doctor wanted to keep her for observation. Elle promptly fell asleep–and stayed asleep until the next morning.
She woke up hungry and realized she couldn't remember the last time she cared whether or not she ate a meal.
Or anything else, for that matter.
Coming back to life
"When I left the hospital it was as if I hadn't noticed before how bright the sky was and how green the grass," Elle said. "I heard the birds singing in my yard, as if for the first time. Something had to change."
I realized I was trying too hard to be all things to all people. I wanted to be a good mom and a good friend. I tried to be a good employee and do well in my career. And I wanted to be involved at my church.
"Every one of those is a good, worthwhile goal," Elle said, "so I agonized over how to change and set priorities.
"But now I knew I needed to take care of myself, too, or I would fail on all fronts."
That's Priority A
Elle finally faced the inescapable truth: None of us can do it all, all the time.
But we can pick and choose among the non-essentials. It's the only way to feel in charge of our lives.
It's the only way to take care of our bodies and our minds and be there for our loved ones.
Some worthwhile activities may need to go on the "Later" pile.
Antidote to the busy-ness trap
Author Christine Carter's big tip is to give ourselves frequent recesses.
- Take a break after every 60 to 90 minutes of work
- Schedule regular time with family and friends
- Allow yourself time alone to read a book or take a nap
- Time to think and feel and pray
- Time to just be–and not feel guilty about it
Find what joys your heart, my friend, whether it's stopping for coffee or watching a sunset.
Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. —3 John 1:2 (ESV)
Still working on it,
Lenore
