Author: lbuth0511de28fc

    Have you ever watched someone come alive while listening to music? I have, just the other day …

    For the second time in a week our community chorus sang at a local retirement and assisted-living facility. Just the week before we had presented our two annual Christmas concerts. to appreciative audiences. But it always feels a bit anti-climactic to work on music for months, then finally perform it, and poof! it's over. So when we do appearances like this we enjoy the opportunity to sing again the music we love doing.

   It's always a treat to watch the faces of audience members, but especially this last time. Most came with their walkers or canes. Some showed up looking bored, but friendly. Some individuals sat there, listless and glum or staring vacantly, due to memory problems. And frankly, some came only because lunchtime was nearing.

    Then we began to sing and the transformation began. Faces brightened, lit by smiles. When our director asked them to sing along on familiar Christmas songs, they did. Even the ones from the memory care unit who had been sitting there silently, oblivious to those around them, began to sing with us. At first they were timid, but their enthusiasm grew and their body language changed. Dull eyes took on a sparkle. Looking around the room it seemed everyone had perked up noticeably. Some clapped in time. Some swayed to the music, not always with the rhythms.

   After we finished, we went around the room, introducing ourselves and wishing each resident a Merry Christmas. They thanked us for coming, but really, we got the biggest blessing. We were privileged to watch as music touched something deep within and truly lit them up from the inside.

    As I drove home I thought about God's good gift of music. A child banging a wooden spoon on a kettle has a drum and often can find a rhythm. So can an eighty-something like the one we sang to last year. She joyfully played her spoons–and played them in time–whenever we sang something with a beat. I remembered a friend telling how his wife, an Alzheimer's victim, nevertheless remembered the old hymns. Each day when he visited, they would hold hands and sing them together. "Those were the only times I felt as if she came back to me," he said, smiling through his tears.

    So feed that memory bank! Encourage your children or grandchildren to try out different kinds of music-making. Playing in the band. Singing in the chorus. Piano. Guitar. Let them try different things. If you're part of a church family, that's the perfect place for kids to learn and grow. Even very young children can recite their lines or sing off-key with great gusto. Nobody minds. They're family, after all, so they cheer them on. Love takes over and gives the embarrassed one a hug and a, "Don't fret. You'll do better next time."

    Through all the squeaks and squawks, patiently laugh and clap noisily. Give yourself a pat on the back for going the extra mile, too. Kids and teenagers gain poise as they make music, whether alone or in a group. When you expose your children to music, you give them a gift that's guaranteed to pay rich dividends every day of their lives. If you doubt that, just start singing or playing around an older person who seems to have lost that old-time spark. Then watch it flare again. It casts a lovely glow, even if it lasts just a little while.

    How about you? Wha Christmas music most touches your heart? Your comments welcomed!

    May you (and I) stay calm as we check off our To Do lists. Let's remember we're preparing to celebrate once again Christ-mas, the night when Hope was born.

    Lenore

Music wakes up the spirit

December 13, 2008
    Most of us do. We read the news–or we look around–and fear for our daughters and sons. We know how making wrong choices could change their lives. But it's easy to suppose we're too uninformed, so maybe it's best to "leave it to the experts."

    "Besides," one parent says to another, "today's teenagers are so much smarter than we were! I mean, they have all those sex education classes in school … And they're all so much more open than we were. They talk about everything–with all their friends. What can I possibly tell them that they don't already know? "

    True, schools offer (or require) that students attend age-appropriate sex education classes, starting before the teen years. In a typical class students will be instructed in how the body works, along with accurate terminology. They'll learn how a male and female have sex–in a variety of possible ways, sometimes along with analogies to "other animals" who mate. Straight and gay will be presented as equally normal and equally desirable.

    Youngsters will hear statistics on teen pregnancy, how it can be riskier and have a negative impact on both teen parents for life. They'll be instructed in the various means of abortion available. Using "protection" of one kind or another will be emphasized, plus risks and benefits of each. Symptoms and prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and HIV/Aids will be presented, along with the need to always wear a condom. Self-gratification will be covered. The overall tone will be that whatever they're feeling is normal and natural, whether straight or gay, and that acting on urges is okay as long as you're "responsible" and "use protection."

    You may be thinking, That just about covers it! But did you notice what's missing?

    Most teachers are dedicated and caring, but here's the thing often overlooked. Unless your daughter or son attends a Christian school, the instructor almost certainly is required to offer facts, but just as certainly is not allowed to impose any moral teaching along with it. (Perhaps something like, "use things, not people" may be said, but don't count on more.)

    That's up to each mom and dad. Although that may seem senseless, probably it's for the best. As the parent, it's your privilege to help your kids understand what to do with who they are and what they know. You can offer insights and talk with them about how this fits into the framework of your own family's faith and standards–or does not. Who better than you, fellow struggler, to teach your children about how to live?

    Obviously, "sex education" alone is not enough. Take a look around next time you're in your local shopping center. If it's like the ones I shop in, you'll see a lot of very young moms, often in pairs, pushing baby strollers. Some look happy, some don't. Once in awhile they're accompanied by a young male. Don't misunderstand, I am thankful these babies were allowed to be born! Yet these young women seem to me to provide walking evidence that "being informed" isn't enough to keep teenagersfrom short-circuiting their course through life.

    So what's a parent to do? Talk with your children, even though you feel awkward and fear they may laugh or groan. Talk, talk, talk. Seize the moment when your're watching a TV show and something makes you cringe. When you're chauffeuring your kids around. When you're cooking or cleaning up together. Pay attention to what's in their world (music lyrics, MTV, Internet sites, etc.) First, you need to be aware what your kids are exposed to. Second, you can't communicate with them if you lack a smidgen of insight into what's rattling around in their heads. Even good kids get sucked into media that would appall their parents. Those who market this stuff know how to make it appealing to young people.

    When should one start? Now! Once you have your antennae up, you'll find opportunities more often than you think. For example, suppose you spot one of those single teenage moms we mentioned before. Avoid criticism of individuals, but do ask how your child thinks this will impact the young mother and father. Talk casually about how glad you are that your children will want to be through with school and married before they start having babies. Let your daughter or son think it through and tell you how this would help an individual be more ready to be a parent. Would it be better for the child? If so, why? (Don't forget to search out examples of young people you admire, too.)

   Little everyday conversations, one upon the other, help your youngster gradually form a solid personal foundation. Your goal is that this beloved child comes to share your older-and-wiser view beforehand. That provides a basis upon which an adolescent can think through these urgent, complicated issues. Otherwise, hormones take charge.

    Can you impose this view? Nope. Are there guarantees? Never. Will you pray? Always!

    Yet all the research and polling of teenagers point to one truth: More than any teacher, more than the best pastor or youth pastor, the parent influences the child. Kids learn when parents talk with them. But they probably learn more from watching and listening as their moms and dads talk with and interact with their friends and neighbors. Young people assume that's when their parents reveal what they really believe vs. their "parent speak." (How's that for a shocker?)

    I literally wrote the book–at least, one book–on talking to one's children about sex. It's part of the Learning about Sex series published by Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis.

    Because I'm a mom who learned a lot along the way, this book features language any parent can understand. Rest assured, everything in it is based on solid medical information and Christian principles, and was checked by professionals in relevant fields. The emphasis throughout is on what Scripture teaches, that we are indeed, "fearfully and wonderfully made," and that our sexuality is God's gift, too precious to be squandered casually.

    You'll find many books available now, a number of them Christian-based. I know these Series books best, of course. They're quality books, used in many Christian schools and praised by professionals. This Fifth Edition of the Series, newly illustrated and formatted, came out in July, 2008. As with each new edition before it, I revised and updated the text in my book. I always recheck the medical information and statistics, too, to ensure that everything is current, both in the text and in the extensive Glossary. I'm thankful this book fills a need and proud of the work I've done on it. Believe me when I say that I prayed more earnestly while working on this book than on anything else I've ever written. (To order, go to www.cph.org )

    You see, like every other set of dads and moms since Adam and Eve, my husband and I did our best with what we knew at the moment. That's all any of us can do. In most places parents were expected to educate their own children about sex. We tried … and did not excel. We stumbled and stammered, too, feeling inept. We gave our children some of the available books–and we did a lot of learning ourselves.

    Believe it or not, bookstores didn't feature yard-upon-yard of parenting books, especially related to sexuality. At the time we thought ourselves more enlightened and open than our parents–and we were. That's no excuse, just a statement of fact. You may look back and think your parents didn't prepare you for adolescence. Give them a break; like you, they were only human. (Trust me, someday you'll want your oh-so-with-it children to cut you some slack, as well.)

    Here's the bottom line. Bathe your parenting with prayer. When it comes to talking about sex with your children, pray God will give you the words. Then breathe deep and jump in. Trust God to "translate" your halting speech into truth in your child's heart. Soon you'll find yourself feeling more comfortable talking to your kids about sexuality. That's a good thing, because either you help your children form a life view of sexuality and what's right and wrong, or someone else will. Always, it's your choice.

    Remember, you're not in this alone, because God loves your child even more than you. He loves it that you care–and so do I!

    Lenore

    Your comments welcomed!









Feeling tongue-tied when you speak to your kids about sexuality?

December 9, 2008
    What do you remember of how the first Thanksgiving came to be?

    Let's step back in time to 1620. Probably we vaguely recall the Mayflower, the ship that brought those settlers from Plymouth, England, to North America. On a family vacation to the East Coast we visited Plymouth, MA. The Plimoth Plantation is a living history museum erected on the site of that original settlement. Anchored at the shore is the Mayflower II, a reproduction.

    How tiny that ship was! Yet 388 years ago people like you and me gathered their families and braved crossing the Atlantic on that ship. Once we stepped aboard, it seemed even smaller. Picture ceiling heights about 65 inches, with berths about 3 ft. by 6 ft. Costumed guides told us each passenger was allowed their berth, including space above and below it, for their trunks and chests. That small ship was crammed with food and supplies, household goods for their future homes, even goats.

    During their long, miserable voyage on the choppy Atlantic, two passengers died and many more sickened. They finally reached harbor on December 11, naming it New Plymouth.

     Imagine yourself one of that intrepid band, weary to the bone from the arduous journey, half-sick, undernourished on the diet of mostly oatmeal, turnips and dried ox tongues. Imagine your dismay at finally arriving at a typical Massachusetts December scene, probably much like this.

    William Bradford, the first governor of the Plymouth colony, wrote: "Being thus arrived in a good harbor and brought safe to land, they fell upon their knees and blessed the God of heaven … They had now no friends to welcome them, no inns to entertain or refresh their weatherbeaten bodies, no houses, or much less towns to repair to, to seek for succor … What could now sustain them but the spirit of God and his grace?"

    That first winter forty-four of the original colonists died. more would have died if not for the Mayflower captain's decision to remain anchored off-shore. With only one makeshift shelter on shore, that cramped ship remained "home" for many months. Once the weather warmed, the survivors finally could hunt the abundant game they had been unable to hunt when landing.

    An English-speaking native they named Squanto befriended them and helped arrange a peace treaty with the Wampanoags. Then Squanto showed them his people's ways of planting corn and other crops. Early summer brought drought, but by autumn these settlers harvested their crops. As they stored away food for the coming winter, they took stock. yes, they had survived, but they had made seven times more graves than huts. Only three families remained unbroken.

    Governor Bradford describes that time this way: The Lord sent them … seasonable showers, and through His blessing caused a fruitful and liberal harvest, to their no small comfort and rejoicing. For which mercy, in time cconvenient, they also set apart a day of Thanksgiving."

    So the settlers invited their Wampanoag friends to join them and welcomed the food and game they brought along. Together, they feasted and rejoiced. Those early settlers, at least, thanked God, even while remembering their departed family members and friends.

    This scene strikes me as especially poignant this year, when financial losses seem to affect most of us, and we're anxious. I think those settlers we call Pilgrims have much to teach us about turning our eyes to what remains, rather than being fixed on what is lost.

    What if we added up what's good and right and meaningful in our own lives? Suppose we, like the Pilgrims, leave our accumulated pain with the Lord and thank Him for His presence with us. Could we, like them, simply trust our future to Him?

    A beloved Bible verse fits every day, but especially at Thanksgiving.

Give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good, his love endures forever.     –Psalm 107:1

    That hard year was not the end of the Pilgrims' story. It was the beginning of a new chapter. That's worth considering, no matter what our age or our situation.

    May you have a blessed Thanks-giving Day, and may you have family and friends to share it with!

    Lenore

    What blessings are you thankful for? Your comments welcomed!

Learning from those early settlers and that first Thanksgiving

November 26, 2008
    I grew up rich … but I didn't know it. Maybe you did, too.

    Money was tight at our house all through my growing-up years. Frills were scarce, but my friends had none, either, so I considered that normal. Besides, most people we knew shared a similar life situation. More than I knew then, my father and mother shook hands with struggle every day. Through it all, they coped, mostly with a smile. I only knew that our family life revolved around the church my dad pastored, and people loved my parents.

    Like every child of every time, I remained unimpressed.

    I knew my mom and dad loved each other, they loved us and they loved God. That was bedrock and never wavered, not even when my newborn brother died, or during my mom's illnesses.

    I knew I could count on what they said. They told it like it was, even when I didn't want to hear.

    By today's standards my parents and teachers were unenlightened. They never assured me my life would be wonderful. In fact, they said to expect life to be hard, because life was hard for everyone. But, they said, but … life always would be worth the effort, worth the stumbles and failings and the starting over, and God is faithful.

    When my husband and I met, we two advantaged kids fell hard. We married, reared our daughters, and coped with … whatever. Through the predicted stumbles and starting overs, we held hands. As promised, God was faithful. Life was–and is–good.

    These days who can escape the bad news? Like everyone else we track the financial ups and downs and like most people, do some quaking and a lot of praying. Then we smile at each other, grateful for life itself and each day we share. We remind each other of what's important: We are rich … in all the ways that matter. God is good.

    How about you? How rich are you–in all the ways that matter?

    Take a few moments to inventory your fortune. Maybe your childhood memories hurt. Then leave it behind and concentrate on providing your own children with a legacy. May you be rich!

    Lenore

    Your comments welcomed!!











Maybe you’re richer than you think

November 23, 2008
    We're living in a time when it seems all the news is bad, not to mention scary. Most people I know feel poorer, a lot or a little, and less sure of what their future holds. Some judge there's less to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

    So here's a reality check for all of us, a gentle reminder to re-evaluate our thinking.

    Yesterday I crossed paths with a casual friend whom I hadn't talked with for months. His face revealed the anguish in his heart as he told about his granddaughter, who m he always described as a talented teenage dancer and athlete. This girl, while playing the "safe sport" soccer, experienced a freak accident. Great doctors, top-notch treatment, a loving and supportive family. Now the photo he shows pictures this beautiful young woman wearing leg braces, seated in a wheelchair. By definition she is a "quadriplegic incomplete," because she retains limited movement of her arms. That's her life … for life, at least by medical predictions.

    My heart went out to him, of course. Maybe you know what else I was thinking: That could be one of ours! Oh, Lord, thank you that it wasn't! (Perhaps you just had the same thought.)

    That encounter was like the proverbial plank to the donkey's head, remindingng me what I truly value most in life: the people I love. So let's turn away from the haranguing and fear-talk that clamors all around. When we add up the totals, let's make another list. Instead of centering on what's missing in our lives, real or perceived, let's open our eyes to what is … and give thanks.

    For a refresher course, read Psalm 103. I just did and was reminded how rich I really am.

    Lenore

    How about you? Your comments welcomed!

Before thinking too much is lost, take another look at your life

November 20, 2008
    If the movie, "Fireproof," is still playing in a theater near you, don't miss it–and don't delay, because it probably won't last long.! My husband and I saw it recently, and it's a wonderful movie, set in contemporary times. We thought it to be high-quality, with realistic dialog, suspense, humor and a message.

    Kirk Cameron (you remember him from the sitcom "Growing Pains") plays the male lead, a local Fire Department captain. So you get some nice insights into life at a firehouse, too.

   Although the plot centers around a marriage, the wider story makes a lot of points about sustaining any friendship or family relationship. Best of all, this isn't a typical Hollywood production. Rather, it was written and produced by a church–one church, Sherwood Baptist, in Albany, GA. Many of the actors were volunteers from the congregation or the community. Screen credits listed food donations from individuals and restaurants, even babysitters.

    So if you want a lift, search out "Fireproof," either in a theater or later, on DVD. You'll find it more than just a time-filler. I guarantee it's not one of those movies that sends you out of the theater muttering, "So what was that all about, anyway?"

    By the way, yes, there's some faith talk, but what there is naturally flows out of the story line and doesn't feel preachy. But there's a lot about life and living and loving, about turning troubled lives around. And we, at least, found it engrossing and left the theater smiling.

    Bet you will, too.

    Here's to learning while we live!

    Lenore

    Your comments welcomed!

Here’s a movie that’s worth your time–and then some

November 15, 2008
    That's a question that never loses its relevance. Regardless of our age or stage in life, how much money we have or don't have, or whether or not we have children, that question fits.

    More than anything else, our answer determines whether we describe ourselves as "happy" or "unhappy." Our answer sets the criteria for whether–in our own eyes–we're rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy, liked or disliked, blessed or cursed.

    I once met an old woman who lived in one room in a rundown building and ate a meager diet. She invited me to look around her "lovely home," all the while describing herself as "rich" and "blessed." This vibrant, glowing woman of faith oozed contentment and joy out of every pore. Was she rich, or was she poor? You decide.

   No, she didn't live in a Third World country. She lived in metro Los Angeles, in a changing neighborhood that once was grand.

    I came away from that encounter vowing never to complain again or wish for "more."

    Have I? Of course. But when I'm wise enough to remember meeting Frieda, it brings me back to center. Then I realize that if I haven't liked my life lately, the problem is not my life. It's me.

   This much I've learned: At every moment of our life there's a positive side and a negative side. Every moment we decide which one we focus on.

   Here's to looking at what's good and right and true!

    Lenore

    Ever find this a struggle? Your comments welcomed!



How do you view your life?

November 13, 2008
    Today is Veterans Day in these God-blessed United States. We hear a lot about "honoring the veterans," but that's a kind of anonymous phrase. So here's the face of one, one individual Veteran, on which to focus. This face, conveying such emotion, belongs to Joseph Ambrose, at age eighty-six. In this 2005 photo he holds the flag that covered the casket of his son, who was killed in the Vietnam War.



    Maybe he looks like someone you've known, as he does to me. If Joseph Ambrose still can, no doubt he attended his local Veterans Day parade and festivities today.

    At least for today let's set aside the rhetoric and arguing about the Iraq War and the war in Afghanistan. Veterans Day centers on honoring those men and women who over the past two-plus centuries served the United States. They served–and so do those serving now–to ensure this way of life endures, even though we so often criticize and take our freedoms for granted.

    Veterans Day feels more personal to us than it once did. Our two  older granddaughters both are serving in the U. S. Navy–and we are proud of them. Like every family of those who serve in the U.S. military, a touch of uncertainty injects itself into one's thinking. That goes with the territory. We rest in God's protection over them, as we do for all our family members.

  So let us give thanks for our Veterans, not just on November 11th, but every day. Let's be thankful for all those who set aside their lives to serve in the Armed Forces of these United States, in years past and in the present.  You and I are blessed to live in this wonderful country–every day.

    Here's to hanging onto that thankful spirit!

    Lenore

    Your comments welcomed!





A gentle reminder that America is no accident

November 11, 2008
    Perhaps like me, you're a bit weary of all the election day hoopla. It's hard to think of anything else, isn't it? But today's the day it ends. Within a few days we'll have the final count and then the new chapter begins. This morning Bob and I read Psalm 8, which seems to fit the day perfectly. Maybe you'll find that true, also. Right now we're reading from Eugene Peterson's The Message. Today his fresh, modern language led me to look at David's words with new eyes. Perhaps it will do the same for you:

God, brilliant Lord, yours is a household name.

Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you; toddlers shout the songs That drown out enemy talk, and silence atheist babble.

I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous, your handmade sky-jewelry, Moon and stars mounted in their settings.

Then I look at my micro-self and wonder, Why do you bother with us? Why take a second look our way?

Yet we've so narrowly missed being gods, bright with Eden's dawn light.

You put us in charge of your handcrafted world, repeated to us your Genesis-charge, Made us lords of sheep and cattle, even animals out in the wild, Birds flying and fish swimming, whales singing in the ocean deep.

God, brilliant, Lord, your name echoes around the world.         (The Message)

    I had to go back to the Hubble site**, of course. It brims with glorious photographs that do, indeed, display those macro-skies, dark and enormous, with "sky jewelry" like that above. (See another eye-popper in my post of October 28, "Finding peace in the midst of … whatever.")

    Astronomy never was my passion of mine. In fact, I paid scant attention to news of the Hubble space project. But the Hubble website features awesome, entrancing images, free for the looking–or downloading. Try it, you might like it!

    Then give a thought to the One who set all that glory and wonder in place so long ago.

    Remember, election days come and election days go. He hasn't changed, hasn't moved, hasn't given up on this world … so let's rejoice!

    Lenore

    Your comments welcomed! Did you check out the Hubble site?

    *Image shown: Star-forming Region LH 95 in the largest Magellanic Cloud. www.hubblesite.org





Let’s broaden our view on this election day, 2008

November 4, 2008
    Maybe it's my imagination, but it seems the mood of people around me borders on tense. It's as if we all had gone on a Starbucks binge and now can't "come down" from all the caffeine. And it seems this is an equal-opportunity malady, affecting members of both parties equally.

    Whatever the final results of tomorrow's election, some of us will be disappointed. But think how blessed we are to live in a country where we actually get to vote on our leaders! In so much of the world people only get to vote with their feet, as they flee from power-hungry individuals and armed forces. Over-crowded refugee camps teem with desperate people who left their homelands to save their lives.

    Our founding fathers possessed wisdom beyond their own, I believe. They set up the United States as a nation where each citizen is free to get involved and free to vote for candidates of their choice. We can voice our opinions without fear of being carted off to prison. Each of us can help shape the community we live in, by volunteering for worthy causes, by supporting what we believe in, and even by the way we live our lives.

    Under the U. S. Constitution, that's our right. More accurately, that's our privilege. So if you haven't voted yet, be sure to cast your ballot at your local election site tomorrow!

    If history proves anything, it's that this nation is bigger than any one man who ends up being elected President. By the way, it's worth remembering that those Presidents labeled "good" when elected didn't always turn out to be that. Several Presidents who were trashed throughout their administrations later were described as "great" by historians. Even Abraham Lincoln faced constant ridicule, name-calling and criticism during his Presidency.

    Who can predict what lies ahead, whether for this nation or in our own lives? None of us. Maybe right now you're traveling a hard path and hope seems a foreign concept. Even then, in every situation, we can be at peace. I love Billy Graham's well-known illustration.

"The storm was raging. The sea was beating against the rocks in huge, dashing waves. The lightning was flashing, the thunder was roaring, the wind was blowing; but the little bird was sound asleep in the crevice of the rock, its head tucked serenely under its wing.

That is peace: to be able to sleep in the storm! In Christ we are relaxed and at peace in the midst of the confusions, bewilderments and perplexities of this life. The storm rages, but our hearts are at rest. We have found peace–at last!

    The lesson for us all: Peace does not depend on externals.

    I wish you peace, every day!

    Lenore

    Your comments welcomed!

Feeling uptight about tomorrow’s election?

November 3, 2008