Tag: Positive outlook

Let me pass on a lesson I learned along the way–and isn't that the way we all learn?

I'm making progress because awhile back a new friend said, "You always wear the hint of a smile. What's your secret?"

I thanked her for that delightful compliment, of course. Right then I couldn't come up with anything better than a glib "Well, I guess I have a lot to smile about."

Later on an incident from years ago popped into my head and suddenly I knew the answer to that question.

It sounds strange, but sometimes big truth comes from unlikely sources.

On that ordinary, life-changing day I was so completely focused on my list I didn't really look at the other shoppers milling around me

That is, not until one of them stopped me by tapping me on the shoulder. The tiny elderly lady looked concerned as she said, "'Excuse me, Honey, but you look so sad I had to stop. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Sad? Me? Baffled, I said something like, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but what do you mean?"

"Well, judging by the expression on your face, I figure you must be dealing with something really heavy. I'm so sorry! Just wanted to tell you things hardly ever are as bad as they seem. So cheer up, Dearie, and never, ever give up hope!"

With that she smiled again, then patted my shoulder and scurried away.

I stood there speechless

All I could think was, what on earth was she talking about?

A few steps later I ran into my reflection on a mirrored pillar near me and took a hard look. I did look, well, grim. As much as I hated to admit it to myself that little lady wasn't exaggerating.

I heard her words in my mind for days. So did the question that refused to be stilled: What do I communicate to others around me?

Always before I thought of myself as a happy person. Now I couldn't escape the obvious: That's probably not the message the people around me picked up.

What could I do?

I decided to start with the way I deliberately set my lips, even when I was alone.

Just as importantly I would pay attention to the words coming out of my mouth.

Now I had a plan. From that moment on I would

wear a happy expression

look for the good and

speak encouragement.

I soon decided that wouldn't matter unless I lived it. If I wanted this to become a habit, my new behavior had to be all day, every day.

So I paid careful attention to the expression I wore. To my surprise, before long I didn't need to remind myself so often.

I also concentrated on looking for and speaking the good. Soon that became more routine, too–but I still have to watch myself.

Always, always it's easier to sink into a down mood than to stay in an up mood.

Nothing changed, but everything changed

Before long I realized I was more fun to be around, even for myself. My same old, same old life felt happier, too.

Could it be this simple?

All I know is that old song holds some real meaning:

"Put on a happy face…and you will be happy, too."

It's not the whole truth, for sure, but it's a beginning.

Like that tiresome saying, you can't journey a thousand miles if you never take that first step.

Looking for Bible backup?

For me, "thinking good thoughts" won't keep me going for long. Here's one specific verse that speaks to the subject.

A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed. –Proverbs 15:

There's more, of course. Whatever our situation, we Christians always have reason to smile.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. -John 3:16

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:8

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him. -Romans 15:13

With love and prayers,

Lenore
Found! A Simple Way to Improve Your Mood

November 12, 2024
Have you ever said to yourself, "I wish something would happen!"

Consider that reckless thinking. That "something" may turn out to be scary.

Take the time I did my usual breast self-exam and felt a tiny lump the size of a BB. I didn't remember feeling anything before. Next came the mammogram, then the "maybe" verdict, then the biopsy.

Boy, did that un-bore me fast!

Thanks be, the final verdict pronounced it benign.

Sometimes it's a phone call you never wanted to have

Like the morning one of our daughters, college age, called with a plaintive note in her voice, "Is Dad there? I need to talk to him… ."

If you've had young drivers of your own you can guess the reason why. This time another driver, uninsured, had rear-ended her car. That young man pushed her into the stopped car ahead of her at a busy Los Angeles intersection. Now she was scared and stranded because her car had been towed away.

Thank God that although she was shaken up, she was spared serious injuries.

In the weeks of repair time that followed the rest of us were one car short. One "benefit"–nobody at our house was bored.

More bad news came a couple of weeks later

A weighty, cream-colored envelope arrived. It bore the name and prestigious address of a Beverly Hills attorney. He wrote to inform us his firm was representing the other driver, someone with an unpronounceable name who was in the U.S. on a student visa. The bottom line of that letter? They intended to sue our daughter.

Can you imagine our outrage? Our daughter was panicked and we weren't far behind as we ran through all the what ifs that came to mind.

At last came common sense and we contacted our insurance company.

End of story.

Periods of fear and uncertainty can happen to us all

Those are the times we wish we could go back to yesterday or the day before.

Back to a day when if someone asked, "How was your day?" we could answer, "Oh, it's been just a normal day, kind of boring, really. Nothing much happened."

If we've had a lengthy string of days like that we may even feel a bit sorry for ourselves. After all, don't we deserve a bit of excitement of our own?

Been there, done that–and it never brings me joy to start going down that track.

Words to lift our spirits

I have no idea who Mary Jean Iron is, but I think her words pack a hefty meaning.

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.

In verse 24 of Psalm 118 we find the unshakable reason to consider every day a good day:

This is the day that the LORD has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

I'm thinking these two together amount to great advice because one fact is inescapable. This day is the only day we really have.

So whatever else is going on–or not going on in our days, let's rejoice that we're still breathing, still standing. Let's thank God we're alive and celebrate every minute of every day!

Blessings and peace and joy,

Lenore

Another Same Old, Same Old Day? Then Celebrate!

September 5, 2024
Even non-tennis players found the news from Wimbledon captivating. Two players, one American, one from the Netherlands, hang on for eleven hours and five minutes and make the history books for the longest tennis match ever. Oh, the cheers! Oh, the glowing forecasts of the winner's meteoric rise to the ranks of tennis greats!

Fast forward to the next day, when the winner, John Isner, plays another match. This one he loses, after just one hour and fourteen minutes.

This is what stunning defeat at Wimbledon looks like.

This is what losing feels like. Anywhere. At any age.

I think there's a BIG message here, for us as individuals and also for us as moms and dads.

Last one first. Lots of us parents tell our kids over and over that they're winners. It's like the carrot held in front of the donkey. We warn them if they don't work hard enough or practice long enough they might (oh, horrors!) not come in first and they wouldn't want to be a loser, would they?

That sounds like they will be either/or, doesn't it? Sure, somebody wins the race or the tennis match or gets the highest score … this time.

On the tennis court, in the classroom and in all of life, sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. Sometimes we feel on top of the world and sometimes we're scraping bottom.

We do our kids a big favor when we help them learn to handle losing gracefully. Of course, we rave when they win. Do we cheer with as much gusto when they do their best and come in second? Or fifth? Or when they don't make the team or win the scholarship?

That's important, because we parents set the tone for how our children see themselves. And what we want more than anything is for our kids to know we love them for themselves, whether they win or lose, isn't it?

The other way we help them is when we handle their losses (and our own) well and role-model being a good sport. We stay calm when the umpire gives a bad call. We don't deny the pain of losing, even as we comfort our children with love and encouragement. But then we let it go.

From this side of rearing children I understand way better that the small things turn out to be the big things. All those everyday incidents and our offhand remarks add up. The youngster who learns to stay positive grows into the young adult who can handle life's ups and downs without being crushed. We parents play a big part in that.

I'll bet you, too, know adults who fall apart every time things don't go their way. They're not much fun to be around, are they? My grandmother had no patience with that. She'd seen her share of hard times and she would say, "Oh, for Pete's sake. You're still breathing, aren't you? So put today behind you and go on. Tomorrow's another day."

That's not a bad way to look at life, is it? Not for any of us. Grandma's old wisdom still makes sense. As long as we're breathing, there's always another day.

And for John Isner, there's always another Wimbledon.

Blessings,

Lenore

Any kind of loss can knock us flat. Job loss, separation or divorce, the death of a loved one, the end of a friendship or relationship, even moving from one place to another.

The life lesson from Wimbledon: Winning isn’t forever, but cheer up, neither is losing

June 28, 2010
Isn't it easy to look at someone else's life and think they have it easy?

You've heard that old saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."

Here's what never gets said, "Yes, but you still have to mow it."

I confess. Early on, I spent a lot of time looking around at other people's lives and thinking, "If only … ."

Maybe you're familiar with that swamp, the one filled with, "If only my life were easier. If only I were a better _____ ." Etc.

I could have filled in that blank with at least a dozen ways in which either my life or I could be "better." After awhile I got older and smarter and recognized the obvious. No one lives an "easy" life and no one is perfect. Every one of us deals with stresses and problems and difficulties in relationships.

Some people think daydreaming is harmless and costs nothing. Not true. While we have our heads in the clouds we miss out on the day and the life we actually inhabit.

It's good to stop and now and then and take stock. Try making a list of what's good in your life. Oh, and forget "perfect." Concentrate instead on what's "good."

I discovered it helped to pretend I was someone else, a reporter, perhaps. What would I write about the woman in the mirror and the life she lived?

I used that list as a starting point for giving thanks to the Giver every day or so. By the time I worked my way through that list I'd be adding to it.

You can guess what happened, can't you? That little exercise became a habit, a way of thinking about my life. Each time I read it and thanked God for these blessings, I felt more blessed.

Before long when I realized I was happy. I liked myself better, too.

Did anything change about my life? Nope. Only my perception. And that made all the difference.

Like so many others before me, I learned the truth of Proverbs 23:7, as translated in the King James or Revised Standard Version. Here it is, slightly paraphrased.

As a [woman] thinks in [her] heart, so is [she.]

So, dear reader, here's my challenge for you: Try it for yourself. Then share your findings with the rest of us by using the comments form below.

Blessings and joy,

Lenore

Looking for happiness? Take a fresh look around

May 26, 2010
It's time to put up those new calendars. If you're like me, you're thinking about the year ahead and asking yourself some questions.

How will I fill my time? What will I read? What will I look at?
Who will I hang around with?

That matters. I can't recall who said this, but it's good.

The person you will be five years from now will be determined by the books you read, the television you watch and the people you spend your time with.

A friend loved to remind anyone within hearing, "You gotta put the good stuff in if you want to get the good stuff out."

He thought that saying applied to all of life…and he was right.

You probably know this well-loved summary of how you and I can "put the good stuff in."

Finally, brothers, (and sisters,) whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. –Philippians 4:8

Lots of people make jokes about New Year's resolutions, because we usually fall short. It helps to remind ourselves that the only person who never fails is the one who never tries.

So I resolve to reread Phil. 4:8 frequently and: Think it. Speak it. Live it.

I hesitate to write down my other resolution. You see, I've been working on a book for moms for a very long time. For no good reason, I have delayed sending off queries. This year I will not rest until I find an editor or agent who believes in this book as much as I do and wants to publish it.

What's your resolution? Why not share it, so we can encourage each other? Just keep scrolling to the "Post a Comment" box below and follow directions.)

Friends, I wish you blessings and great JOY in every day of the year ahead!

Lenore

What kind of “stuff” do you plan to put into your days?

December 31, 2009
I saw Santa yesterday, but this one didn't look like the pictures you see. First I saw his decked-out van. If I had the presence of mind to remember that my fancy-schmancy new cell phone has a camera, I could show you what I saw. This will have to do.

Imagine a nondescript old gray work van, elaborately decorated from stem to stern with roping of fresh evergreens. The roping extended down from the roof over the hood, too, plus battery-operated Christmas lights. Small stuffed animals adorned every door handle. On top stood a figure of Santa Claus, maybe eighteen inches tall. After I parked on the other side of the row of cars and faced this marvel, I sat staring in fascination, wondering what and who…

That's when the driver walked up.

As he stuffed papers in the back pocket of his well-worn blue jeans, he smiled, then rubbed his forehead. For that moment I got a good look at the grizzled, fifty-ish man with leathery skin. He stood tall and skinny and wore an old, plaid wool shirt, jeans, a red wool cap with ear-flaps drooping and battered work boots. Then he climbed into his van, slammed the door and threw the truck in reverse. Only then did I understand he was Santa.

That's when I could see that the back of the van was crammed with toys, from top to bottom. They even peeked out from the passenger window side of the van. All I saw through his rear window was packed-in toys. Clearly, this Santa was making a delivery and sooner or later, many kids would be whooping with delight.

Then this morning's Sacramento Bee ran the story of an 82-year old Santa, a woman who watched a television show about the homeless and started knitting. Because of her talking to friends, who talked to their friends, a network of older individuals picked up their needles. Now this Santa can deliver hundreds of hand-knitted caps, scarves and to our local Loaves & Fishes.

Christmas brings out the best in all of us, doesn't it? As individuals and through our churches, we collect food and pack baskets. We reach out through countless charity organizations that bring joy to children and families. Our sensitivity radar picks up and we glimpse needs we were blind to before.

There's a special joy, I think, when we give a gift and don't identify ourselves. Part of the fun is knowing a secret. Sometimes we even hear the recipient(s) speculate about who might have done this. That's when we get to practice keeping a straight face.

Here's the question: Do you know any Santas like this? Or have you ever played this part?go

Why not share that joy with the rest of us? (Just go to "Post a Comment" and follow directions.)

In the midst of the wonderful Christmas bustle, may you feel the Light of Christmas,

Lenore

I saw Santa yesterday, but…

December 10, 2009