Even non-tennis players found the news from Wimbledon captivating. Two players, one American, one from the Netherlands, hang on for eleven hours and five minutes and make the history books for the longest tennis match ever. Oh, the cheers! Oh, the glowing forecasts of the winner's meteoric rise to the ranks of tennis greats! 
Fast forward to the next day, when the winner, John Isner, plays another match. This one he loses, after just one hour and fourteen minutes.
This is what stunning defeat at Wimbledon looks like.
This is what losing feels like. Anywhere. At any age.
I think there's a BIG message here, for us as individuals and also for us as moms and dads.
Last one first. Lots of us parents tell our kids over and over that they're winners. It's like the carrot held in front of the donkey. We warn them if they don't work hard enough or practice long enough they might (oh, horrors!) not come in first and they wouldn't want to be a loser, would they?
That sounds like they will be either/or, doesn't it? Sure, somebody wins the race or the tennis match or gets the highest score … this time.
On the tennis court, in the classroom and in all of life, sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. Sometimes we feel on top of the world and sometimes we're scraping bottom.
We do our kids a big favor when we help them learn to handle losing gracefully. Of course, we rave when they win. Do we cheer with as much gusto when they do their best and come in second? Or fifth? Or when they don't make the team or win the scholarship?
That's important, because we parents set the tone for how our children see themselves. And what we want more than anything is for our kids to know we love them for themselves, whether they win or lose, isn't it?
The other way we help them is when we handle their losses (and our own) well and role-model being a good sport. We stay calm when the umpire gives a bad call. We don't deny the pain of losing, even as we comfort our children with love and encouragement. But then we let it go.
From this side of rearing children I understand way better that the small things turn out to be the big things. All those everyday incidents and our offhand remarks add up. The youngster who learns to stay positive grows into the young adult who can handle life's ups and downs without being crushed. We parents play a big part in that.
I'll bet you, too, know adults who fall apart every time things don't go their way. They're not much fun to be around, are they? My grandmother had no patience with that. She'd seen her share of hard times and she would say, "Oh, for Pete's sake. You're still breathing, aren't you? So put today behind you and go on. Tomorrow's another day."
That's not a bad way to look at life, is it? Not for any of us. Grandma's old wisdom still makes sense. As long as we're breathing, there's always another day.
And for John Isner, there's always another Wimbledon.
Blessings,
Lenore
Any kind of loss can knock us flat. Job loss, separation or divorce, the death of a loved one, the end of a friendship or relationship, even moving from one place to another.
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