Author: lbuth0511de28fc

Everybody wants it, but apparently not many of us can hang onto it.

That's strange, isn't it, when bookstores and libraries offer yards of books telling us how to find peace, not to mention Google's gazillion experts.

But we keep looking.

We pore over articles and books about mental health and happy living and serenity. Some are quirky and off-the-wall, easy to discard. Many others offer good advice and sound principles.

If you're like me you may have followed somebody's program a few times–and it worked. For awhile.

I found–and maybe you did, too–before long the "what ifs?" and "if onlys" slithered in again, invading my thoughts and churning my gut.

All the while I said I believed in Jesus–and I meant it.

Still, I often asked myself, What's your problem? Don't you know you are blessed?

I did. I do.

The breakthrough cometh

I finally got it through my granite skull that peace will never be found "out there someplace" and came back to what I've always said–and thought--I believed:

Only one wisdom source holds true over the centuries: God's word, the Bible.

What's more, it's not about finding peace.

Peace is an inside job, a matter of the heart and will. The Apostle Paul spelled out the secret in his letter to the Colossians:

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15 ESV

"Let," the little word with giant implications

After checking the definition on http://www.dictionary.com I came up with three questions based on the meanings given.

Will I allow Christ's peace into my heart?

Will I permit it to rule over the "stuff" that threatens to overwhelm me?

Will I grant his peace and calmness occupancy in my heart and mind?

Ouch. That confirms what I suspected. My biggest hindrance stares back at me from every mirror.

And yet he loves me anyway, even though I'm pocked with flaws in my perfect facade.

"Shalom"

This beautiful Hebrew word means peace of body, mind and spirit. A sense of completeness. Wholeness. Harmony.

It's a peace beyond our human understanding, the kind Jesus spoke about to his disciples:

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27 ESV

Isn't that what we all long for?

Jesus died and rose again to fill us with new life and peace. Once we know him as our Savior he lives within us by his Spirit.

Not because we're good enough.

Not because of who we are or what we do.

Only–only–by grace, that is, the undeserved love and forgiveness we have through faith in Jesus.

No more worries, it's a done deal

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 ESV

We have peace with God. Now. Forever.

I know, I know, it sounds too simple. We want some tangible proof that guarantees we'll never slip back into unrest.

If that's true how can my sense of peace slip away as if by gravity?

It's not gravity, it's that inner tormentor, a.k.a. the devil, who never stops trying to pull us back.

That "roaring lion" (1 Peter 5:8) tiptoes in like a pussycat and purrs, "Oh really?"

I've found I need to watch my thoughts and my words so I spot anxiety and negativity before they take hold.

That's the time to remind myself who I am in Jesus and read or repeat verses like those above.

Just as important: "And be thankful"

Did you notice those three words in Colossians 3:15?

The more we look for reasons to be thankful the more we find–even in the midst of trying times.

It's not a magic charm. When we thank God for what's good it changes our focus on ourselves. It turns our gaze on him and all the ways he blesses us, day in and day out.

Best of all it reminds us who we are in Jesus Christ: God's much-loved child.

Our moods and our times of feeling discouraged make no difference in this equation. It's not about meeting some elusive standard or "having the right stuff."

It's all about Jesus and believing he loves us.

Could there be a better key to inner peace?

Still learning,

Lenore
Inner peace is closer than you think

August 20, 2021
They're all around us, the people who drag us down and leave us mired in their words. Or attitudes. Some of us call them turkeys–and don't ask me why.

It might be a neighbor or friend who harps on the same gripes, time after time. Or it could might be someone seated beside you and for whatever reason, you can't escape. It could even be (gasp!) someone in your family.

A number of turkeys have their own talk shows, either on radio or TV. We listen while doing other tasks and tell ourselves we're not really paying attention, so what difference could it make in how we look at life?

Answer: More than we think.

Held captive by a turkey

Several years ago I sat in a small hair salon and next to me, a turkey was holding forth. This woman held a low opinion of everybody and everything, which she delighted to proclaim–loudly–to everyone within listening range.

Spoke so loudly that the rest of us gave up trying to carry on conversations and just sat there, squirming and looking uncomfortable. I was mid-haircut, etc., so there was no escape.

The longer the turkey talked, the more excited she got. She actually glowed with excitement.

We all live with turkeys around us, so what can we do?

As I drove home, I thought how once again, I so quickly felt that downward pull and got stuck in someone else's bad mood. I've learned when that happens it's no time until we get stuck on the negatives, too, and forget what's good.

Maybe you live or work with someone like that woman in the salon. Or perhaps you fight that tendency in yourself.

A seminar speaker offered one explanation of the way this works. He explained it as a process somewhat like the force of gravity. We don't have to be able to explain everything about physics to know that gravity is real and it exerts a downward force on objects–and people.

This speaker's whole emphasis was that we "catch" one another's moods. Curiously, negativity and dark outlooks spread faster than positive moods. It's as if they become weights–or yokes–we carry around with us.

Staying "up" is possible

That speaker laid out an effective technique that can turn us around when we're feeling down. All that's required is a pen and paper and a few minutes of time to think as we make some lists.

People choose their own names for their lists. For example, "My gratitude list," "Things I'm thankful for," or "Things I'm happy about."

Write your choice(s) as a heading at the top. Then think of at least ten things that fit. For example, maybe you're in a hard place right now, but did you wake up this morning? Could you taste what you ate? See the colors in the landscape outside your window?

You get the idea. Use the same technique with people. Try making a list of your husband's good points–and write at least ten things, even if you have to dig for them.

One woman in the group asked, "Right now I'm so frustrated with that man I can't think of anything he does right except he rinses out the sink after he brushes his teeth. Does that count?"

Our speaker replied, "Absolutely. Start small. Don't be looking for big things like, 'My husband always shares his feelings with me' or you may never find ten things to be thankful for."

We all laughed, but he made a good point

Do the same for each child, even–or especially–the one who's giving you trouble right now.

The point of it all is that we fail to see individuals as they are. We forget to notice what's good in the people around us. Instead, we fixate on what annoys us and before long, we can't see the person's good qualities and kind actions.

It's time to take off the blinders. Prepare to be surprised, because listing reasons to be thankful will turn out to be fun and you'll be making more lists.

This pays a lovely dividend, too. Once we switch perspectives we become more aware of what's good and right and true. We appreciate the people in our lives more. When that happens, especially when we tell them so, they relax and appreciate us back.

Before long we take a fresh look at our world–and it's good

Before long we realize our "turkey" has a beauty we had shut our hearts to.

Sooner or later we come to understand that for awhile, we got stuck on this individual's minuses instead of pluses.

How do I know this works? More than once, I've seen how it works. Why not try it yourself? Betcha you'll like it!

Meanwhile, let's keep in mind that God creates individuals, not carbon copies

So why do we keep laying our expectations on each other?

Each of us is a mix. I've learned over the years that what I judge to be missing in a person often turns out to be a strength, a quality God can–and does–use in ways I never ever envisioned.

(This turns out to be true for each of us, even ourselves.)

Encouragement for your journey

If you're like me, you find it easier to work on a better outlook when you find the same or similar truths in the Bible. Let me share some reassurance from God's Book.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

(Jesus said) "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him , he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

P.S.

One more thing comes to mind. Years ago someone's turn of phrase caught my attention and stayed in my mind. I've found it to be true in every relationship, in every part of life. One thing never changes:

"What you look for is what you will find."

(I guess this means I need to take my own advice and that long-ago "turkey" in the hair salon probably was an otherwise-nice woman who just needed to talk … )

Here's to looking for the good in people and in our lives,

Lenore

Tame the “turkeys” in your life

August 16, 2021
In this ever-churning world, how do we stay calm?

Years ago, during one of our weekly family trips to our public library, I picked up a book with an enticing title: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, by Dale Carnegie.

Once I started reading it, his use of one phrase grabbed hold of me:

"Live in day-tight compartments."

Five unremarkable words, yet they kept playing in my mind. Later I realized they echo Psalm 118:24, which I learned as a child:

This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  ESV

I had repeated those beautiful words many times, but for whatever reason, they had not yet "sunk in."

This time, they did and changed the way I looked at life.

Life sometimes seems like too much to handle

Those five words hit me because they so neatly summed up what I needed to do. At the time, I was a busy young wife and mom who seldom sat down and never, ever got through my To Do list.

Don't get me wrong. Our life brimmed with joy and hard work and the blessed sound of four little girls giggling. I loved my husband and our kids with all my heart.

I had everything to be thankful for–and I truly was–but I often felt overwhelmed.

In quiet moments that nuisance inner voice whispered, "Are you sure you have what it takes? What about all you have to do tomorrow? And next week? And what will you do when all these girls become teenagers?"

Outwardly, I smiled. Inwardly, I low-level simmered with self-doubt.

Finding a new perspective

"Live in day-tight compartments" showed me a better way to think.

Carnegie used the analogy of an ocean liner, in which the captain shuts off any leaking compartments to keep the vessel afloat.

The rest of us can live that way, too, he says over and over.

Here's how. We close the door on yesterday and its failures, as deliberately as we shut the door to a room. Then–just for today–we block out our "what ifs" and fears and worries about the future.

That leaves this day, the one we actually are living in, the one the Lord has given us. From this 24 hours we determine to squeeze out every drop of joy and satisfaction.

What about problems and troubles? Carnegie promises any of us can deal with anything for one day. What sinks us is wondering how we will get through tomorrow and the day after that.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized he spoke truth. It sounded too simple, but then, great truths often are.

Jesus said it first

Remember the Sermon on the Mount? In Matthew, chapters 5-7, Jesus addressed the crowds. His words come loaded with wisdom for living, like:

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34 NIV

Jesus taught this centuries before Carnegie's "day-tight compartments." His words imply we are to leave our "woulda, coulda, shouldas" in the past, as well, simply because they are history.

As for our nameless fears about the future, they don't belong in this day, either. Deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.

Substitute prayer for worry

Prayer is simply talking to God, openly sharing what's on our hearts, giving him the whole load of it. The goods, the bads and yes, sometimes the uglies of it.

For many of us, prayer weaves through every part of our lives.

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 ESV

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

I learned a lot from books but oh, so much more from spending time in the Bible and participating in good Bible studies. I discovered treasures like Philippians 4:5-7, which I copied onto a sticky note and posted it on my bathroom mirror. Here, it's from the J. B. Phillips paraphrase:

Don’t worry over anything whatever; tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus.

Trust-worthy words that can change your life

If you're looking for words with power to change your life and give you peace, turn to the Bible.

Skeptics and naysayers have challenged and ridiculed and argued about it on all sides, yet the Bible endures over the centuries. What's more, no one has found any errors in it. In fact, recent findings by today's archaeologists simply back up the dates and facts as given.

Perhaps you've tried to read it, but didn't or couldn't understand.

Try again. Ask God to open your understanding, then start with the Gospel of Matthew or the Gospel of John. Take your time, but stick with reading it–and I promise, it will get easier.

If you have a smart phone or computer you can download the Bible through one of the many Holy Bible apps that offer the NIV or ESV translations, as well as others. Then you will hear the text, word-for-word all through the Bible, read by excellent narrators.

What next? Live out biblical truths as best you can and trust the Holy Spirit to gently change you from the inside out so that you will feel peace and calm within. Find a church where the Bible is front-and-center and held up as God's Truth, without error and reliable, and where you feel the joy as people of faith come together.

Will you still have questions and struggles? Probably, either ongoing or from time to time, because life goes on and none of us is perfect. Will they swamp your "boat?"

Never. You'll keep growing and you will notice less stress within.

Self-help vs. faith-on-the-grow

Carnegie and countless other writers teach principles and techniques. They tell us we have control over our thoughts and attitudes, not vice versa.

The trouble is, each one maintains that WE can change ourselves if we just try hard enough.

The truth is, we all need help and inner change is an inside job.

The Bible tells us again and again that when we trust in Jesus, his Holy Spirit in our hearts gently changes us from the inside out. Changes us for real.

Jesus said in John 10:10b:

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." NIV

Consider the Bible a storehouse filled with good words for living. Words that can transform your life because they testify of God's grace in Jesus Christ, the Savior.

By now I've lived long enough to know this goes way beyond theory. This is truth. Take these words to heart, my friend, and be at peace.

God bless you,

Lenore

To raise your quality of life, start with these five words

August 5, 2021
Let's face it. Some children simply refuse to give in–or give up.

A friend remarked, "My two brothers and I loved to scrap and we were always pestering each other.

"My folks would let it go on as long as they could stand it, I guess. Then one of them would say, 'CUT THAT OUT!'

"That was my mom and dad's magic phrase. When we kids heard those three little words we knew we'd better stop or we'd be in a world of trouble.

"I know now it wasn't the specific words they used," he said. "It was their don't-push-it! tone of voice. That told us they were out of patience."

Most of us use way too many words

I remember doing exactly that, thinking it sounded more kind and loving and reasonable. Now I know all it does is confuse and water down what we say.

Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, once said every child is a 24-hour a day student of his or her parents.

This careful study enables our children to know exactly how far they can go with each parent. They know which one is more likely to be swayed by pleading and which one needs all the facts–and time–before saying, "Yes."

It's a bit shocking–but accurate–that we train our kids to know how far they can push us.

Personalities play a part

For some strong-willed youngsters it's as if their mission in life is to oppose whatever Mom or Dad say.

Here's a word of comfort. These, um, "determined individuals" often grow into adolescents who are less susceptible to peer pressure and then become adults who love a challenge and don't wimp out.

I can hear you saying, "That's all well and good, but this being in charge role doesn't fit my personality and it's really hard for me. How do I get through today?"

Today remind yourself that every child secretly wants their parents to, well, act like parents.

We moms and dads are meant to be in charge, because we are their security.

Knowing what their parents allow–and don't allow–makes youngsters feel safe and loved and cared for.

This includes your prizefighter strong-willed child who never gives in gracefully.

We bless our children when we draw up boundaries

Boundaries, like fences, protect. Well thought-out rules tell our kids that we love them enough to keep them safe and secure.

Within those reliable limits our children can relax and run free.

Will they keep testing to see whether we still mean it? You betcha. That's just part of being a kid.

That's why it's essential to be consistent. (This is any parent's biggest challenge.)

If it was a No yesterday, it has to be a No today–or you'll be back at the beginning and starting over.

We don't need to act like dictators, nor yell.

Just remember that we are the grownups in the family and that's our job.

It's all about knowing who we are, then acting like we believe we possess the authority

And we do. From God.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. -Colossians 3:20 ESV

As loving caretakers of the children God gave us we are to protect them and guide them because it's for their good. Our job as parents is to get our children equipped and ready to move out into a life of their own one day.

And we do it all with love.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another . . . Colossians 3:12-13a

Parenting roles change over the years

In the earlier years we must be watchful at all times, in every detail. From feeding and diapering, then chasing them as toddlers, we're all about tender care and protection.

As our children get older we still keep a watchful eye, but our role gets more subtle, Little by little, we back off and stay more in the background so each child gains confidence that they can handle whatever they're trying to do.

All along we remain their protectors, their defenders, their life coaches and sometimes, yes, The Enforcers.

Be sure of this: Even teenagers know they're not ready to be on their own, although they will argue the point over and over and over. Most of the time they avoid saying they need us and feel safer because we're watching our for them.

Nevertheless, it's worth repeating: Our kids push us to the edge because they want us to be who God asks us to be.

Wherever we are in this equation, we are not alone

Being a parent and watching our children grow into themselves is deep-down satisfying. I believe it's the most important thing we could ever do because we are raising human beings.

But parenting is never a picnic. It isn't meant to be. Raising our children is it's a growth-and-development project for us as individuals, too. Being a parent changes us, makes us wiser and stronger and more understanding of human nature.

(Is it any wonder that we Christian parents so often feel inadequate and frequently ask Jesus to guide us and help us?)

Over the years when I've felt weak and insecure, I've gone back again and again to Ephesians 3:20:

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. ESV

It's safe to say that applies to being a mom or a dad, too.

Here's to being who God made you to be–and enjoying it!

I'm praying for you,

Lenore

Ever wondered why our kids so often push us to the edge?

July 30, 2021
"I am up to here with warnings and arguments and scary stories on the news!" wails the young woman at the next table."

"Me, too," her friend answers. My kids keep pestering me with questions, but I have no answers. How do I know if school actually will start this fall? Or if we'll have to wear masks again and all that routine? Or if it's safe to walk or ride a bike around our town, what with people–and kids–being shot at by some stranger driving down the street?

"I just want to grab everybody I love and never let go. Maybe never leave home."

As the two young moms got ready to leave, I heard the younger one say, "Sometimes I think the only safe place is in a cave on some far away island!"

Remarks like this swirl around all of us. People are frightened and uneasy, wondering what will happen next. And to whom.

It seems the torrent of troubles never lets up.

Is there any good news to report?

Answer: Yes, but most of it goes unreported. Television reporters and newscasters and newspaper headlines almost always lead with crimes, tragedies and misdemeanors.

Trace it back to a standard slogan of the news business: "If it bleeds, it leads."

Statistics show that readership and TV viewership go up–way up–when they feature bad news and tales of people who assault or kill others. The more horrific the better. Then they get to add in speculations about motives and/or possible crimes.

They fill in the gaps with opinions on possible doom and destruction that may lurk just ahead.

This allows us the "privilege" of consuming a steady diet of this kind of stuff during every waking moment.

Is it any wonder so many of us feel anxiety that won't quit?

What if we made a better choice?

Here's the sobering truth. Nobody forces us to feed on the news 24/7–or several times a day.

It's like an addiction. Maybe someone should start a BNAA: Bad News Addiction Anonymous.

This startup could borrow the "Serenity Prayer," used by Alcoholics Anonymous and other self-help organizations. Here's one common version:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Repeat aloud (or silently) as often as needed.

You see, whatever our age, our finances or our life situation, we need something solid to hang onto. We can choose to focus on God's faithfulness.

That never changes. Never lets us down.

Because God never changes.

Remember, God brought us to this day

My favorite grandmother, who died at age 101, never lost sight of that and considered every day a gift. The last time I saw her was two years before her death.

Grandma's beautiful, wrinkled face glowed as she said, "You know, Lenore, God is SO good. He never left me alone for a minute."

Ah, yes, Grandma. He never leaves any of His children alone for a minute.

Anytime. Anywhere.

So let's fill our minds and hearts with Bible promises like these:

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

He (she) who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2

(Jesus said) "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."   John 14:27

How about a new slogan for our life? "If it feeds, it leads."

We could call it the "Good Stuff Diet."

Even a snack-size serving, day after day, can drive out fear and plant His peace in its place. The peace that passes all human understanding, remember?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Every day, no matter how dismal the news, we have a choice. Let's choose to see the joy in each day, because that's every bit as real as the bad news. We just have to look for it.

Lord, give us eyes to see!

Lenore

Keep your balance in the storm of bad news

July 20, 2021
That may sound like an extreme statement, but here's a true-life story that illustrates the point.

Nine-year old Lawson is playing with his dog in the grassy area beyond his backyard. Mom yells from the back door, "Lawson, it's time to come in."

No response.

"Lawson! Time to come in!"

No response.

Mom yells again. And again.

Still no response. By now Mom feels her temperature rising, especially since she can see that her son is not far away and staring intently up at a tree.

"Lawson James! You get yourself in here right now, young man!"

Lawson takes his time coming in, a slight smile at the corners of his mouth.

His mother stands waiting, with hands on her hips. "You'd better have a good excuse, young man! Now you tell me why you didn't come when I called you!"

"Well … I didn't hear you the first four times you called."

Resistance comes in different packages

Some kids plant their feet and holler, "No!" as if daring you to do anything about it. That kind of open defiance is easy to spot.

Others are more subtle, like the child who appears smiling and compliant, but habitually "forgets." If this behavior is chronic don't immediately assume it's deliberate. For some, there's an underlying problem such as ADD or ADHD, which makes consulting a licensed professional a worthwhile idea.

Some children quickly agree with you, often with a smile or laugh, but then don't do what they said they would do. Note: Both "forgetters" and "agrees, but doesn't do its" offer passive resistance. That's not as in-your-face as defiance, but these pint-sized human relations experts know parents find that easier to take.

The "Lawsons" of this world know exactly how far they can push Mom or Dad. They usually obey. Eventually. They'll give in when they are ready, that is, just before you blow your top. If this sounds like a battle of wills, that's exactly what it is.

Consider such tactics the child's way of exercising the limited power at their disposal.

Are these kids evil? No. They're human. That is, not perfect, like every other human being.

Nobody said parenting would be easy

Still, few of us realize ahead of time how long it can take to teach important lessons. We get tired and lose heart.

We may ask ourselves, why bother to keep trying? The answer is easy. It's because all the studies show that youngsters who learn to obey and to respect authority have an easier time in school and also navigating through adolescence.

No one formula exists, but here some general pointers:

Principle one: Figure out what really matters in your family and talk about it.

    Principle two: Pick your battles carefully.

    Principle three: Don't say it unless you mean it. But if you say it, make it stick.

    Principle four: Be consistent. Whatever your rules were yesterday, stick with them today. Otherwise, you start over tomorrow. Besides, children feel more secure when they don't have to wonder whether you mean it … this time.

  Principle five: Learn to laugh.

All the while you're teaching and modeling, without a word

Any time you lose your temper or raise your voice, you hand over some of your authority as the parent. (Yes, I know how daunting and hard that is. I should, because I slipped up many times.)

As I got better at staying focused I realized being consistent actually saved time–as well as my sanity. Otherwise, any kid with even minimal levels of spunk will keep testing you just to see if you still mean it.

This tiresome maneuver can go on a very long time, especially with those children we label "strong-willed." If Dad and Mom stick to the limits they laid down, eventually even these guerilla fighters get bored and stop trying.

Parenting is a long-term course in personal growth

Being in authority may make you uncomfortable, but remember, God gave you these children. He knows your stress levels and he equips you for the task He gives you.

As our children grow and we face new challenges, we parents continue to grow stronger from within. Stronger in character, with a clearer fix on what we as individuals stand for. Most of the time we also pick up all kinds of useful personal skills.

When you feel overwhelmed, remember Paul's truth and take it to heart:

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

That includes living with a Resistance Fighter who happens to be your child.

Take it from one who survived,

Lenore

Kids: “The Resistance Movement”

July 16, 2021
What are your thoughts when you see a flag flying, whether outside a home or at any public place?

It seems that many consider the flag a visual offense, wherever it is–just by being there. And they're not all young, not all "radical," or whatever convenient label might come to mind.

An area realtor told of a recent experience with an older married couple who were looking for a house.

Both were Caucasian and judging by their clothing and their car, these two were accustomed to living "the good life."

After the realtor had driven them around the community for an hour or so, the wife told him, "Well, the homes are nice, I grant you that, but I would not want to live in this community."

When asked why, she said, "Too many American flags, they're all over the place! It makes me extremely uncomfortable. I could never feel at home here. Thanks for your time, but we need to look elsewhere for a house."

One photo that says a lot

Nobody knows who took the above photo of the U.S. flag–or where–and no one found evidence it's a Photoshop editing job. Someone snapped it at just the moment when the sun's reflection came through in the shape of a cross.

I smile every time I see this photo. It reminds me that even in the midst of all the unrest and the protests and the endless blah, blah, blah, God has not given up on us and walked away in disgust.

For the Lord will not forsake his people; he will not abandon his heritage. Psalm 94:14 ESV

Step back to the beginning, to when our Declaration of Independence was hammered out

Some of us easily rattle off these familiar words, but for once, let's read them slowly. Thoughtfully. Here's the first paragraph:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

(Note: This is not "sexist language." In that time–and for eons–the phrase "all men" would have meant "all people" or "all humankind.")

The Declaration ends with these words:

"And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor."

Did the 56 men who signed this Declaration really mean these words?

These courageous men risked everything to go on record with their beliefs and their signatures. They knew beforehand that it could mean prison or death.

Some who signed this Declaration did pay with their lives and their fortunes–or various family members did. Even close relatives and former friends often wanted nothing to do with them.

All this because they believed the United States of America should be independent, with a government elected by its citizens.

From the beginning, the USA became known as "a Christian Nation"

Did that identification fit? Read a few statements of the Founders and decide for yourself:

"[The Bible] is the rock on which our Republic rests." – Andrew Jackson

"We recognize no sovereign but God, and no King but Jesus." – John Adams and John Hancock

"Here is my Creed. I believe in one God, the Creator of the Universe. That He governs it by His Providence. That He ought to be worshipped." – Benjamin Franklin

"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible." – George Washington

"The gospel of Jesus Christ prescribes the wisest rules for just conduct in every situation of life . . . If moral precepts alone could have reformed mankind, the mission of the Son of God into all the world would have been unnecessary." - Benjamin Rush

"What students would learn in American schools above all is the religion of Jesus Christ." – George Washington

Our Nation today seems far from that

Most people think our society could use some help.

That makes it easy to be discouraged. It can feel good to hang with others of the same mindset and everyone say "Tsk, tsk, tsk" in unison. But what good does that do?

Whatever our personal opinion, a lot of us feel helpless to make anything better. As always, it starts with the one person looking back at us from our bathroom mirror.

Helen Keller lived with blindness from early childhood. Still, she left her mark in the world–and made it better–with wise words like these:

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."

So what can I do, right here and right now?

One answer is obvious and free to all of us. We can use our voices and our time to build up, rather than tear down.

Small gestures matter–and they make a difference.

As an example, take one of the longtime checkers at a local supermarket. I know nothing about her personal life, but she seldom stops smiling. Anytime someone asks how she is, her answer goes something like this. "Great, just great. I'm so blessed I can hardly stand it!"

Then she'll ask how her customer is doing and always offer some kind of encouragement or bring up something positive that's going on in our community. I've noticed that every person who walks away from her counter leaves wearing a smile.

This one individual lives out the Apostle Paul's words:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

It's time to get off the hamster-wheel

Too many of us have been going round-and-round, endlessly reciting what's wrong with these United States. I haven't noticed this makes anyone happier, have you?

So let's cut it out! Let's focus our attention on what is right with America.

Our Constitution was hammered out carefully, then finally ratified on June 21, 1788. Patrick Henry was one of those who ratified it and he said this:

"It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here."

That was true then. It is true now.

Let us not forget who we are!

We have reason for thanks every day of every year. Thanks for the courageous men of faith and vision who founded our Nation. Thanks for the protection of Almighty God. From the beginning He has been gracious and merciful despite all the ways we've lost our way.

He has not given up on us, has not walked away. Neither should we, not even in our minds.

Of all people, we who are Christians have reason to be consistently joyful. We actually can grasp what signers of our Declaration of Independence and Patrick Henry were talking about. Yes, we live in a world that's broken. But we do not lose hope because we know Who it is that holds our world together.

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

Now there's something solid and immovable to hang onto. To rejoice in. To celebrate, no matter how shaky it feels in the moment.

May God continue to bless America and keep this Nation strong!

Thankfully,

Lenore

Look at our foundation to assess the lasting strength

July 1, 2021
Fathers come in all shapes and sizes and all personalities.

One thing is common to all: Even the best of them have–or had–flaws because, well, they're human beings.

Some dads provide for their family and are physically present, but they remain detached emotionally. Others live with one goal: Provide for their family and give them what they need, plus surround them with love.

Perhaps the man who reared you and did his best to love you wasn't your "natural father," so you shut him out. Now you know he endured pain, too. Why not speak (or write) a few words of respect–and gratitude?

Some of us can't get past our list of what we lacked while growing up

What better time to take a new inventory? You might see there were blessings sprinkled in, too, and you never noticed.

Maybe your loving, stressed-out mom had to go it alone, but an "outsider" in your life nurtured you and influenced you in ways that built strength. A teacher, a coach, a neighbor, or just a kind individual who knew when a kid needs a friend. That's a gift, you know. Have you ever thanked this person?

All these men–or father figures–were there. They gave of themselves, however imperfectly. That counts for something, doesn't it?

Father's Day offers the perfect "excuse" to say the words that matter. Do it now.

And thank God, too, for what was–and is–love.

Love is patient and kind … Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:1a, 7 ESV

When if you missed out on all that?

Maybe you're muttering, "Yeah, sure. Easy for you to talk!"

Maybe your dad wasn't there–or he just showed up once in awhile.

That hurts down deep and it's easy to get stuck in what you missed out on. The only way I know to be free of that weight is to let it go. Lay it at the cross of Jesus and move on. Look for what's good now.

One more thing: Revisit your memories, slowly, thoughtfully. Ask God to show you any glimmers of blessing you might have missed and thank God for that.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 ESV

Say it now, while you can

Perhaps it feels like it has been too long and words are hard to find. Set aside your discomfort and do it anyhow.

My dad was like most men of his era and didn't talk much about love. Because of distance I saw my parents infrequently, especially after we moved West. As my father got older I called more often but most of the time we just made unsatisfying small talk.

As years went by I realized I had not put into words what Dad meant to me. So whenever I sent him a letter or greeting card I noted a few qualities I honestly appreciated about him as a man and as a father. And every time we talked by phone I made sure to tell him a time or two, "I love you, Dad," before I hung up.

Later on, after he died, it comforted my heart to remember those conversations. I'll always be glad I did that.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.  1 Corinthians 13:13 ESV

Most of us find our insight improves over the years

Probably we understand our parents better once we have children of our own. Your dad and my dad had to learn and grow and endure the same struggles we all do when we have children.

Did they make mistakes? Of course.

For me, I know my father did the best he could, even in the hard times and remained patient and kind. Through all the serious health issues and other hardships my parents faced, they lived out their faith in Jesus Christ.

In countless ways my mother and all our family were blessed because Dad was there for us. Always. No matter what came.

I took that for granted for much of my life. More and more since my father died I understand that who Dad was as a person blessed me. It influenced how I live and who I am, even today.

The righteous who walks in his integrity–blessed are his children after him! Proverbs 20:7 ESV

Whoever fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge. Proverbs 14:26 NIV

What if our emotions are all over the place?

First, let's be patient with ourselves and not be afraid to talk to our loving Heavenly Father about our joys and woes. Whatever is on our hearts.

Psalm 103:13 tells us why we can feel free to do so.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him. NIV

If you're not sure he would welcome you, think of this verse, which shows the depth and enormity of God's love:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16 ESV

That's a love you can trust and settle down in.

My prayer for you, Gentle Reader, is that you feel the Father's love warming your heart right now and every day.

Blessings,

Lenore

Take a fresh look at dear old Dad

June 11, 2021
Many of us aren't sure about the answer.

You know the kind of questions I mean.

"Okay, if there really is a God, why would I think he cares about me?"

"From what I know of God, he is more about Dos and Don'ts than about caring for ordinary people like me."

"Don't talk to me about God. Not when innocent people get shot while walking down the street or riding their bikes. Not with little kids getting abused and the world at risk because of climate change."

"You say God is good and he's all about love. Well, how can a good God allow all this bad stuff to go on and on? Sorry, that makes no sense to me."

"Listen, I depend on myself and I know very well I can count on myself, so why do I need God?"

And then there's the fear that stalks us

It's not so much an outright terror. It's more a low-level anxiety that sneaks out around the edges of our lives and whispers What Ifs? at 2 a.m.

We're never too old or too young to be tormented by this unwelcome visitor.

"I live in fear my cancer will come back," one woman says to another. "I never sleep soundly now. And I panic every time I have to go for another round of blood tests or I have a new twinge. I am so afraid they'll find some new cancer. Then what will I do?"

A middle-schooler whispers to a buddy, "I hear my mom and dad fighting after I go to bed. If they get a divorce I'll have to live with one or the other. Where will that be? Will I be able to stay in my same school?"

"I can't keep up with the tech skills of recent grads," says the frowning fifty-something. "If I lose this job I don't know where I can find another one that will pay the bills."

And so it goes. Life is messy and life is scary.

Especially when we try to get through each day on our own strength and live by our own smarts.

The Bible makes it clear: We are never alone

Is God for us?

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea . . . The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. –Psalm 46:1-2, 11 ESV

Is God with us?

Jesus answered him, "If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. –John 14:23 ESV

Does God love us even when we fail, even when we mess up?

But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love … –Nehemiah 9:17b ESV

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. –John 3:16 ESV

How can we know this is true?

But God showed his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. –Romans 5:8 ESV

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. –Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. –1 John 4:16

Jesus came. For you. For me. To be our Savior and to set us right with God.

Jesus came to be our Friend. Our best Friend, who will never, ever leave us on our own.

Because Jesus came all of us who believe in him as our Savior now live in the smile of God. His forever smile.

Be at peace, my friend, and let yourself feel His joy!

Lenore

So where is God? How can I know he is FOR me?

May 27, 2021
This may sound a bit outlandish, but hang in there and read on. I promise there's a logical connection.

Did you ever notice how quickly we pick up on it when someone criticizes us or seems to judge us negatively?

Praise may inhabit the same sentences, but we miss that.

In one effortless leap, we pounce on the negative and camp out.

The thought lingers like pesky grains of beach sand that refuse to rub off or wash off.

I wonder what she meant by that?

How can he expect me to …?

Who does she think she is?

We brush the offender away, but it returns in the middle of the night, unbidden.

Always, we choose what to do with it

We can keep it, nurse it and turn it into a pet.

We can blow it up until it blots out the rest of our otherwise good life.

If we take either path, this thing will grow into hardness of heart and that becomes as unyielding as a chunk of granite.

Before long we develop a worrisome habit and find intentional slights and hurts lurking in every conversation. It doesn't matter whether anyone else agrees. We know what that speaker meant.

Good advice from a wise friend for how to handle times like this

A Bible teacher once laid out some strategies about this topic to our group.

Hold your perception up to the light and examine it as objectively as you can. Discard what you know is false.

Pluck out any truth you find and weigh its worth. If you need to, swallow hard and face it.

Consider carefully before you speak up, knowing you have no power to change another person's mind.

State the facts calmly, without heat. Without argument.

Apologize when you know you need to, even if it doesn't feel comfortable. Do it for your own clear conscience and your peace of mind.

Decide to leave your wounded pride at the cross–and don't pick it up again.

Pray for a heart of love toward the one(s) who hurt you.

Let's learn from the oyster

Oysters that take in pieces of grit may form pearls of incredible luster over time. Similarly, irritating experiences can produce something beautiful in us.

If we let them.

All it takes is letting go of our pain and leaving it behind at the cross. (Yes, I know that's hard.)

Listen to what Jesus told his followers in John 10:10:

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

The full life. Peace of mind and heart. Joy down deep, where it lasts and where it matters.

Speaking of Jesus …

It's not that long since Christians all over the world celebrated Easter. Why do we mark this wonderful event every year? Here's why, in a nutshell:

Jesus came. He lived and died, really died. Three days later He burst out of his grave, fully alive, and in his human body He walked and talked to many people. He ate with His friends. By His life and death Jesus made peace between us and God. He came to make us new and set us free from the power of sin in our lives. That's what Easter is all about–and Jesus came for all people.

And that's why we can be at peace, with no need to take offense when someone else sounds critical of us. It doesn't matter and our self-esteem need not be diminished one bit. We have all we need in Jesus.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. John 3:16-17 ESV

That's why we Christians rejoice over Easter.

That's why we can forgive others when they unintentionally–or even intentionally–speak thoughtless words that hurt us. In Jesus we can let it go and pay no attention..

Life is too precious to waste on hurt feelings. Let's "grow pearls" instead.

Learning, too,

Lenore
What we can learn from the oyster

May 12, 2021