Author: lbuth0511de28fc

If someone in a neon-green jacket pounded on your door and shouted, "Get out now!" what would you want to take with you?

Did you answer, "The people I love?" Me, too.

Who is ever ready for that?

Thousands of Texans lived out that scenario in the last few days as the slow-moving disaster associated with Tropical Storm Harvey grinds on.

We can't take our eyes off the surreal footage from Texas.

Our hearts ache as we imagine their pain. Their loss. Not only of possessions but of security. Their deep sadness as reality sinks in. What was will never be the same again. Even after the rain stops.

Never ever.

Are we ghouls who love to witness destruction?

Uh-uh. I think it's also the power of that little voice inside that asks, What if that were me? Am I strong enough to survive? To deal with whatever comes?

Then comes the thought that makes us feel guilty: Thank God that's not me.

At least, not this time.

One thing we know for sure. Into every life rain will fall and storms arise. Each of us will face event(s) or situations that feel like a personal tragedy.

That's life in this fallen world.

Texas Gov. Abbott said on-camera that we all deal with challenges, but what defines our lives is how we respond to our challenges.

He ought to know. At age 26, Abbott was out running and a falling oak tree left him partially paralyzed. He's been in a wheelchair ever since.

Each of us has our own definition of "tragedy." How we respond will depend on who we are and what we stand on. What we believe.

Where do we find hope when the waters are rising all around us?

Phrases from an old hymn seem penned for the misery going on right now in Texas:

"My hope is built on nothing less Than Jesus' blood and righteousness . . .

"His oath, His covenant, and blood Support me in the whelming flood . . .

"On Christ, the solid Rock I stand, All other ground is sinking sand."

Rescue may not fully come and yet we must go on. That huge oak tree crushed Greg Abbott's spine. Despite skilled surgeons and rods of steel he could not walk again.

Losses comes in a variety of ways. A loved one dies and no amount of grieving restores life.

A job goes bye-bye or a business goes bust and we lose what we've known as "everything."

All we can do is watch and pray as our "normal" crumbles around us.

What we have is a Rock to stand on

Shelter in our storms. Refuge in our floods. Strong arms to hold us up when we falter.

The sure knowledge in our hearts and minds and yes, in our souls, that we are not hurting alone. Our Lord sees and hears and hurts with us.

After all, didn't He watch His Son suffer and die on the cross?

Didn't Jesus weep when his friend died?

"When every earthly prop gives way, He then is all my Hope and Stay."

The striking fact is how often these people in Harvey's wake speak of praying. Of trusting God to take care of them. Of "doing unto others, as the Bible tells us to do."

These are people who are standing on the Rock because they know Him–and they witness of Jesus Christ to the watching world.

Looking at Texas prompts us to consider our lives

It's good if we do so once in awhile, just to help us keep a balanced view of what really matters in life. Survivors almost always echo the same thought: "Our family is safe and that's all that matters. Somehow we'll get through this."

If that's true for adults, how much more for children.

To a child, Mom and Dad themselves are home and security. It's like the saying on gift shop plaques that reads:

"Home is wherever I am with you."

That's the bottom line for parents and kids and for all family members.

"Things" are not what makes for a good life. To know that's true all we have to do is check out the lives of the rich and famous

Right perspective restored

Whatever the situation, whatever our personal tragedy may be, if those we love are okay and we know our loving Father is watching over us, we are safe and secure.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 ESV

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Texan or not, even in the midst of trouble we have reason to give thanks. Life may never be the same and yes, it may be hard. But it is good because we possess what matters most. Life itself is a gift.

Be at peace, my friend,

Lenore

How to get through tragedy when it comes your way

August 30, 2017
Suppose your middle-school child came home the first week and told you, "Well, today in band practice we played our pencils."

Would you believe that story?

That's exactly what Sacramento music teacher Donna Pool instructed her new band students to do.

(Maybe she took her cues from Professor Harold Hill in the musical, "The Music Man.")

This 2010 tale is worth retelling because it carries a timeless lesson for us all.

Some of Mrs. Pool's beginning band students at Arcade Fundamental Middle School had no instruments. What's more, there was no money in the budget to purchase them.

What would you do?

This teacher was determined to keep alive her students' interest in learning to play. Determined enough to risk being called a fool. I'd call her a hero. See if you agree.

The word got out

It's small wonder that Donna Pool's story appeared in The Sacramento Bee.

That year Arcade Fundamental had so many students signed up for the new beginning band class that there weren't enough instruments to go around.

Did Donna Pool rant and rave? No.

Did she blame funding cuts and tell her students to start carrying signs? No.

Instead she announced they would work with what they had until they had more. Then she began teaching them basic fingering techniques, using pencils and ballpoint pens.

(Mrs. Pool still teaches multiple levels of band at Arcade Fundamental, also the jazz band and concert choir.)

The news spreads

Once The Sacramento Bee article appeared, local television news crews followed. Even CNN picked up the story, although she turned down an interview with Brian Williams.

In no time instruments began pouring in from all over town and around the country, enough for their needs and more. Excess instruments were added to the San Juan Unified School District's inventory. Anything over that they donated to other school districts.

Mrs. Pool encouraged callers to take their instruments to schools in their own communities.

She attributed the shortage of instruments to adding a new beginning band class rather than budget cuts. However, she said, "The arts don't get enough money. Schools don't get enough money."

Nevertheless, Mrs. Pool must be doing something right. As of 2010 the music program had grown from 120 students to 190 students and about one-third of the school's 600 students played in one of their five bands. (Sorry, I couldn't get current enrollment figures.)

There's a take-home here for you and me

This is one of those win-win stories from which we can learn.

Instead of spending their energies bemoaning what was lacking Mrs. Pool and her students sucked it up and found a way to make it work. We can, too.

It's possible to keep moving toward our goal even when conditions are not what we would choose.

Creative thinking can lead us down interesting paths–and sometimes that's just what's needed–so it's good to always have a Plan B ready.

Doing unto others as we would have them do unto us has not perished from these United States.

When we get involved we can make things better in our community and in other places.

We can get stuck in what's lacking

At any age it's easy to fixate on what's missing in our lives. We endlessly replay all the things we wish were different.

This takes us nowhere.

My grandmother lived through her share of hard times and doing without. She used to say, "Do the best you can with what you got."

Grandma's grammar might make English teachers cringe, but Donna Pool modeled this truth for her students and taught them a life lesson they won't forget.

It's still good advice

Whatever our age, whatever our situation, each of us can lift our hearts and bless others by focusing on what is and doing what we can.

It's as John Wesley said years ago:

"Do all the good you can.

By all the means you can.

In all the ways you can.

In all the places you can.

At all the times you can.

To all the people you can.

As long as ever you can."

The good we do may be as "small" as praying for individuals who do a good job. Or supporting them with encouraging words–to them and about them.

Such simple gestures can mean the world to those on the receiving end. And they won't cost us a cent.

Here's to stepping out in faith,

Lenore

Note: Photos are from the Sacramento Bee.
This teacher responded creatively to tough times–and teaches us all

August 9, 2017
As I waited in the long check-in line I couldn't help overhearing the interchange between a thirty-something couple just ahead.

The petite wife sobbed as she pushed back an errant strand of her long dark hair. Then she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and said, "I just don't want to leave this place. My mom is here and all my friends."

"I know, I know," her husband said gently, then wrapped his burly arms around her and pulled her close.

He stared off in the distance, then said, "Sweetheart, we've talked this over so many times and we agreed we can't pass up this opportunity. This will give us a so much brighter future. Remember?"

She nodded, tears still streaking her cheeks.

"It'll be okay, Hon, I know it will. Can't we just go and try to be happy?"

At that moment the airline clerk beckoned them forward.

Meeting up again

When we got to our gate, there they were. Their conversation was sparse, mostly the husband methodically pointing out why their upcoming move would be good. She bit her quivering lip and nodded her head.

I could have written the script for their exchanges, since my husband and I have lived it a time or two.

Soon the wife headed toward the restroom.

That's when I glimpsed the young husband's heart. His eyes, filled with love, were glued to her departing back. Once she was out of sight his shoulders sagged. Now his face betrayed his pain, his mouth working, and he wiped his eyes a time or two.

As soon as she reappeared he pasted on a big smile and sat up straighter.

Perhaps she looked over and judged him to be a man who put opportunity first. Maybe she thought him filled with confidence. She might even have supposed he didn't much care about what mattered to her.

This couple kept me thinking all the way to my destination

I couldn't escape the sense they communicated a lot about love and marriage.

We females more often wear our feelings openly. When our husbands don't respond with equal emotion we may think them cold, uncaring, even selfish. All the while they may be holding back their own emotions.

Could that be because we say we want them to be strong? Disciplined? Responsible?

The young husband's dejected look and stance the minute his wife walked away telegraphed his personal struggle. But he never let his wife see that. She needed to believe that he believed their plan was wise and good–and swallow any reservations of his own.

How often hasn't my husband done that for me?

I suspect the answer would be more often than I ever guessed.

Bringing their story home

I don't know what happened to those two, but I'm grateful I was able to peek inside their life for those few minutes.

They caused me to look within. I confess I didn't much like what I saw.

How often have I been so full of my own emotion I was blind to my husband's feelings?

God gave me a gift that day, another personal object lesson. A reminder to look–and judge–with my heart, not just my eyes. Otherwise it's making the world all about ME.

Jesus spoke of another kind of love

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." –John 13:34-35 (NIV)

Not one of us can live up to that standard, but we can be careful to value the opinions and emotions of our husband–or wife–and other family members as much as our own.

That love and respect is like soothing oil on an aching wound, especially in situations when we can't quite get on the same page.

Isn't it a wonder how again and again God surprises us with flashes of insight in unexpected ways . . . if we open the eyes of our hearts.

Still learning,

Lenore

Learning about love from strangers in an airport

June 21, 2017
Those of us in touch with the times know that kids do fine in any kind of family.

The Experts have declared it so.

They say it makes no difference if a youngster has two parents or one. Married or unmarried. Straight or gay. Whatever … it's all the same.

Agree or disagree?

That's become a loaded question in our time.

I happen to believe fathers bring balance to a child's life

Picture the preschooler trying to go down a slide, but frozen by fear. Mommy says, "Oh, Honey, if you don't want to go down this time, I'll come help you get down. You can try another time."

Daddy says, "Aw, c'mon. I know you can do it! Just shut your eyes and let go. I'll be here to catch you at the bottom."

If the child comes down and bumps at the bottom, there'll be crying. Mommy rushes in with hugs and coos, "There, there, Sweetie, you'll be okay. You don't have to try that again until you're ready."

But Daddy says, "Hey, that's a good start! Now just go up there and try again. You'll be so proud of yourself! Then we'll go celebrate with ice cream."

And so it goes, all through life

I think children benefit from both the soft, warm, nurturing comfort of Mom and the encouraging prods from Dad.

When I think of my dad I can't remember any deep, wise sayings. All I knew was he loved me. He loved my three sisters. And he loved my mom.

My mom and dad often looked at each other as though there were no one else in the world. Early on I didn't understand it but I sensed that somehow it was wonderful.

Now I realize their steadfast love blessed me and my sisters.

Love that lasts

I never saw that love fail, not even through the last hard three years of my mother's life after she was diagnosed with A.L.S., otherwise known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. Mom died at age 54.

By then I had married and moved away, so I only saw them every couple of months. As my mother's condition slowly deteriorated I watched them cope with simple acceptance and quiet faith.

The same way they lived through all the years of their marriage.

My dad cared for Mom and held life together as best he could for my two teenage sisters. All the while he continued to pastor the congregation of wonderful Christians he was called to serve.

How did he manage it? I'm sure Dad would have said what the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:13:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. -NKJV

Dad trusted Jesus and sought to live by the Bible he regularly taught and preached.

That was who he was. I knew it then as more of a concept. Now I know by experience how Paul's words can put steel into a spine.

In praise of imperfect fathers

My dad wasn't perfect. Most of us can think of ways our fathers could be–or could have been–"better."

Here's the thing: Being imperfect comes with being human. Imperfect is what we are, all of us.

You and I so easily fixate on what's missing. We forget that to simply be there adds stability to a youngster's life.

If a father is someone his kids can look up to and count on he gives them a lifetime gift.

Can we not rejoice over what is rather than bemoan what's missing?

Can single parents raise strong, stable children? Absolutely. Especially if a mother makes sure her children spend time around good dads or father figures. (And vice versa, if it's a single dad.) It's tough to be a single parent, but many do a fantastic job.

Reason to celebrate

Our perception of what our parents lived through is hazy, so our understanding is limited.

It's time to forget their failures and thank God for what they did right. Every father who loves his children and offers a solid base they can count on is a blessing. (Ditto for every mother who does the same.)

Be grateful–and say so–while you still can.

Look for the joy, my friend, always,

Lenore

Related articles

Why it helps us to remember what's good and right and true

Keep Calm and Carry On: Still good advice

Feed your marriage on "we" instead of "me" and watch it thrive

What good are dads in a child’s life?

June 15, 2017
The other day a friend said, "I don't know why, but I rag on my poor husband all the time–about nothing.

"That sweet man never gets angry, just waits for me to run out of steam and keeps on loving me anyhow."

Maybe you catch yourself falling into that trap once in awhile.

Me, too.

Especially with my own sweet husband, who unfortunately happens to be an imperfect human being.

(Like his wife.)

Home, the 24/7 proving ground

It's at home that we slip up most often, isn't it? Because our loved ones love us we feel free enough to blurt out whatever comes to mind.

Yet if you're like me, your mom told you, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything."

We tell our kids, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Sometimes we're not so good at living out those truths in our day-to-day conversations with the person(s) we say we love the most.

Here's the hard truth I didn't want to look at

Our thoughtless words at home speak louder than our words at church.

They reveal what's inside us.

Every time we open our mouths we bring chaos or comfort. As the writer of Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) put it:

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Over the years I've grown somewhat wiser and more aware of myself. I've also learned to say from the heart, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

My husband always does, but we both know no apology blots out the memory of hurtful words.

Now, about those loose lips . . .

Some of us, um, forget when we're supposed to keep a secret. Or we carelessly share way more information than outsiders have a right to know.

Even without evil intent, we can do harm.

There's a remedy available, but not at the drugstore. I discovered it at a time when it was essential for me to, shall we say, keep my mouth shut about confidences that had been shared. I found this wonderful verse from Psalms and it became my frequent prayer.

Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. –Psalm 141:3 NIV

I've found that verse "hits me and fits me." It reminds me to think before I speak. It helps me control my wayward tongue.

Did somebody mention gossip?

I'm not a gossip. You're not a gossip.

We do talk about others, however, often in loving concern. To us, that doesn't feel like gossip.

To the subject(s) of our conversation, however, it probably does–unless we have their permission to share their stories.

Here's the problem: As soon as we tell another person we lose control of what happens next.

We can never predict the ripple effect of our words once they leave our mouths.

Gossip is not a new phenomenon. Solomon, the writer of most of Proverbs, knew that once we share a juicy bit of information, it can't be unsaid.

The words of a gossip are swallowed greedily, and they go down into a person's innermost being. Prov. 26:22 GW.

Nothing about human nature has changed since the time of Solomon.

Recalculating our aim

That's a word the recorded voice on our GPS often uses when we fail to follow the directions given. Then we may hear, "recalculating."

That's what the Psalm 141 verse noted above does for me. It helps me recalculate the direction I'm taking and sets me back on the right road. I've found that repeating Bible verses like this reminds me who I am and how I want to be.

I can't do it on my own. Thanks be, I don't have to.

Neither do you.

All we need to do is ask.

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. –Hebrews 4:16 NIV

Peace and joy,

Lenore

The case for watching our words

April 19, 2017
That's a question worth considering because it applies to all human relationships, the workplace and even school classrooms.

By now I've lived long enough to understand we often find what we're looking for.

Does that sound too simplistic? Read on. This often-told story is said to be true and it carries a timeless universal message. Here's my version, all names fictional.

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Shortly before school commenced for the year brand-new teacher Angie White visited the school office. The secretary handed her a stack of files. "Sorry, no grade transcripts. Principal Green likes new teachers to start off fresh and form their own opinions. I do have some lists and notes Mrs. Black left behind when she retired. Last year she taught most of these children in fourth-grade."

Angie noticed some students had asterisks by their names and a few names were underlined. Hmm. I'll bet these were her favorites–or maybe the brightest ones or the most responsible. What a treat it will be to have a class with so many above-average kids!

Next Monday the children showed up and Miss Angie greeted them with a big smile. Over time other teachers noted her consistently upbeat attitude. A couple of veterans talked about it in the teachers' lounge. Miss Lucy said, "She'll get over it soon enough. In the beginning we all thought we could change the world, too. It won't be long before our Miss White gets a dose of reality."

At year's end Principal Green scheduled the usual closing assembly and picnic. Retired teachers were invited as special guests. As soon as she could Angie headed over to meet the teacher who had eased her way.

"I'm Angie White, the fifth-grade teacher who inherited your wonderful class. Oh Mrs. Black, you must have been an inspiring teacher to those fourth-graders! Thanks so much for leaving behind those helpful notes that identified your brightest students. I loved teaching them. No matter how I challenged them, they amazed me with their ability."

Dorothy Black stared at her. "My wonderful class? My dear, you must have me confused with someone else. You can't possibly be talking about the children I had last year. They were the main reason I retired early."

Angie White's forehead creased. "But remember your list? At first I didn't know what those asterisks next to certain names might mean. Then I figured out that was your code to identify top students. And you were right-on. Those kids absolutely exceeded my expectations. It seemed they sparked everyone else, too. I was so privileged to have a class like that in my first year of teaching. Hope they didn't spoil me for next year when I get a class of kids who are just average."

"I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about. Please give me some names!"

Mrs. Black took her hand. "My dear, I marked the names of the problem children, the incorrigible ones, the ones who never turned in their homework. They barely made it through fourth grade.

"I wasn't surprised, of course, because their third-grade teacher Sandra Sims warned me to expect a rough year. Just as she said, many were below-par and a couple had real behavior problems. So I just did the best I could with them and somehow got through the year."

Angie White looked away, clearing her throat and blinking back tears. What can I say?

Finally Dorothy Black took her hand and her voice broke, "I see now there's no mystery, my dear. I think those children simply lived up to my expectations.

"They also lived up to yours …"

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

This little tale packs a punch, doesn't it?

It always leaves me with questions.

How often do I plug in someone else's opinion instead of making my own judgments?

Do I expect the best or the worst out of people? Out of life?

Do I allow the people in my life to be who they are?

Every day, in every instance it starts with our mindset. We can't do better than the Apostle Paul's words in Philippians 4:8:

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. -ESV

Still learning,

Lenore
Which is more important, facts or expectations?

March 29, 2017
Have you ever doubted your ability to give your children what they need?

Most of us have. Then it's good to remind ourselves about individuals who overcame big challenges and reared solid families.

My favorite example is Sonya Carson. I've admired her ever since her younger son, Ben–yes, that Ben Carson–held our convention audience spellbound as he told of his growing-up years.

Sonya coped with challenges most of us can't imagine.

She only completed Grade 3 in school

At age 13 she married 28 year-old Robert Carson

They moved to Detroit after he finished his U.S. Army service

Son Curtis arrived when Sonya was 20 and Ben, two years later

Five years later she discovered her husband "forgot" to mention his other (first) wife and children–and still supported them

Within two years Sonya and Robert separated, then she divorced him

She and the boys moved in with relatives in Boston

Two years later the Sonya and her boys moved back to Detroit and into subsidized housing

Sonya was determined to provide for her family

She took whatever honest low-skills, low-pay jobs she could find, working two or three at a time. She left before dawn and came home late, often finding her sons asleep in front of the television set.

Each day the boys got themselves up, then walked along the railroad track to school. Classmates called fifth-grader Ben the dumbest kid in class and made jokes about him.

Almost every Sunday the trio attended their church at least once.

One day he brought home a report card that changed his life

His mother was not happy. "You're a smart boy, Bennie! I know you can do better! If you keep up like this, you'll end up sweeping floors or on skid row. That's not the kind of life I want for you–and neither does God."

Sonya turned to God, whom she calls her friend and partner, and asked for wisdom.

A day or so later she announced new rules and pledged her sons to honor them.

Come home home immediately after school

No playing outside until after homework is done

Be inside the apartment by sunset, with doors locked; Halls and public areas are dangerous

Only two TV programs per week–after homework

Each week read two books from the neighborhood public library and write a book report

Mother will critique each book report

The boys complained and friends criticized, but nothing swayed Sonya

She told them, "I know you boys have good minds. If you can read, you can learn just about anything you want to know. The doors of the world are open to people who can read."

Before long the friendly public librarians knew both boys well. Each week Sonya Carson carefully read their book reports, asking questions and offering encouragement. (For years it didn't occur to her sons she might not understand every word she read.)

First Bennie read his way through the section on animals and then tackled books about rocks. The crushed rocks along the track now fascinated him. By the middle of his sixth grade, Benjamin led his class.

Ben's biggest challenge

All along Ben struggled with his violent temper, which led to frequent confrontations with classmates. The turning point came when he was 14 and stabbed a friend. Only that boy's heavy metal belt buckle saved his life.

Ben ran home and locked himself in the bathroom with his Bible. He stayed there for hours, asking God to help him deal with his temper. He found many verses about anger in the Book of Proverbs. Proverbs 16:32 pierced his heart:

"Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city."

Ben vowed that with God's help, he would control his anger, rather than let his anger control him. After that his temper no longer troubled him.

Sonya's plan pays big dividends

From then on Ben poured himself into his studies, graduated high school, entered Yale in 1969, then went on to medical school. (Older brother Curtis, became an engineer and designed airplane parts.) At age 33, Benjamin Solomon Carson, M.D., became the director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins. He pioneered in separating co-joined (Siamese) twins.

A committed Christian, he still reads from the Book of Proverbs, morning and evening.

Like Mother, like son

Ben discounts the lifetime effect of poverty and racial prejudice.

"The person who has the most to do with who you are and what you become is you."

"My mother used to say, 'If you walk into an auditorium full of racist, bigoted people … you don't have a problem, they have a problem …'

His philosophy probably stems from from Sonya Carson's frequent admonition to her sons:

"You do your best and God will do the rest."

She lived that principle herself. "My job was to prepare them. And I turned to God for help every inch of the way."

You are equipped to rear your kids

You'll have days you feel life is too hard or think you lack what it takes. If money is tight, you may fear you're shortchanging your children.

Then call Sonya Carson and her courage to mind. Think of the rich gifts she gave her sons in that dismal setting! She spoke courage when she didn't know how she'd get through the week. She set limits for her children, always speaking faith and confidence. They grew strong from within–and so did she.

Not once did she walk alone. Neither do you, if, like Sonya, God is your friend and your partner.

Blessings,

Lenore
Take heart, Mom. You are your child’s biggest “advantage” in life

March 8, 2017
February can be risky territory, especially for husbands

Especially for my husband, because this is the month in which we were married. So he has two opportunities to fall flat.

It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for all the ads that run this time of year, all touting, "Show your love how much you care!"

All a guy has to do, say the advertisers, is buy what they're peddling. Flowers, diamonds, chocolate-dipped strawberries, sexy lingerie, even footed all-in-one pajamas. (Can Chia Hearts be far behind?)

It's advertising hype, pure and simple, and I know it. But I'm a romantic–isn't that part of being female?–so I fantasize.

Over the years I wasted too many "Big Days" in February because my sweet husband, being a guy, didn't show up with something. He'd say, "Oh, Honey, I forgot. I'm sorry!" And he was.

I'd mouth the words, "That's okay," and paste on a phony smile, telling myself to grow up.

Enter The Big Chill. Poor me thinking. Frequent sighs. You know the drill.

Years of living together taught me a greater truth

My perspective changed. Now I know:

Any Valentine's Day, anniversary or birthday is less important than the other 364 days of the year.

What matters most is how love plays out day-after-day.

Love eats his bride's latest kitchen experiment and pronounces the strange-looking mixture, "Delicious."

Love holds his extremely pregnant wife while she wails, "I'm huge! And I can't get any shoes on except flip-flops!" Love replies, "I think you've never been more beautiful, Sweetheart."

Love says, "I'll take care of the kids over the weekend. You go to that getaway with your friends. We'll be just fine."

Love says, "No, no, no. You're the one who deserves a new coat. Mine's good for another winter."

Love puts the coffee on because he knows she needs a cup to get going in the morning.

Love thinks his receding hairline is "sexy" and love handles are comfy.

Love overlooks her stretch marks and mastectomy scars and her tendency to lose track of time.

Love sees the girl he married even when she walks stooped-over and with a cane.

Love sees her sweetheart, even when he sometimes can't remember her name.

And vice versa.

I've learned–sometimes the hard way–that mutual loving kindness and consideration nourish a marriage, just as regular feeding and watering help a rosebush bloom and thrive.

Let's rejoice in what is

Today I know what matters most to me is the enduring love between my husband and me. I count that more precious than all the diamonds in South African mines.

When it comes to special days like Valentine's Day and anniversaries, let's not miss an amazing, humbling point:

You and I hold the power to make every day a special day for the one we love–and ourselves.

Maybe that sounds too simplistic, but it's true.

So let's Keep It Simple, Sweeties!

An anytime checklist

Many of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13, which often is spoken at weddings.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs … It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails … And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (vv. 4-8, 13 NIV)

Think of these verses as a sort of plumb line to live by. Can we do that, day after day? No, because we're sinners, unable to live perfect lives.

But know this: When we make that our aim, love and joy will grow, right where we are. Guaranteed.

Still learning, too,

Lenore

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February 1, 2017
Am I the only one who thinks this week of the year feels a bit unreal?

I always have. It's not Christmas anymore–and it's not
quite time for the New Year, either. Family gatherings are over and all the special events are past. After-Christmas sales beckon, of course, but even champion shoppers eventually tire of the sport. Or run out of money.

Then what?

I unearthed an old piece I've loved for years in which an unknown writer offers suggestions that always keep me thinking. The original title was, "This Christmas …" but I think these timeless words fit any season.

HOW TO LIVE IN THE YEAR AHEAD

Mend a quarrel.

Seek out a forgotten friend.

Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust.

Write a love letter.

Share some treasure.

Give a soft answer.

Encourage youth.

Manifest your loyalty in word and deed.

Keep a promise.

Find the time.

Forego a grudge.

Forgive an enemy.

Listen.

Apologize if you were wrong.

Try to understand.

Scorn envy.

Examine your demands on others.

Think first of someone else.

Appreciate.

Be kind; be gentle.

Laugh a little.

Laugh a little more.

Deserve confidence.

Fight malice.

Decry complacency.

Express your gratitude.

Go to church.

Welcome a stranger.

Gladden the heart of a child.

Take pleasure in the beauty and wonder of the earth.

Speak your love.

Speak it again.

Speak it still once again.

Those last three lines say it all, don't they?

Isn't that why we love the Christmas season? The gifts we gave, the Christmas cards we sent and received speak of L-O-V-E. So do those notes and Emails to (or from) people we care about.

It doesn't matter how we connect. Telephone calls can charge us up because we hear the caller's voice. Just hearing dear voices can keep us smiling for a long time.

So why wait until next year to reach out to them again?

Every Christmas the world around us feels more loving. That's fitting because Christmas is all about love, as the blazing star over that humble manger reminds us.

The Christ child, God come to earth, is the ultimate proof that what we read in 1 Corinthians 13 is true: Love never fails. God's love never fails.

Now there's a glow that lasts, through all time, through every week of every year.

As for what do we do with this week? Or any week?

Let's not waste a minute. Let's live!

Blessings to you,

Lenore
What shall we do with this week of “suspended animation?”

December 28, 2016
(I wrote this on Veteran's Day, November 11, 2009, but it's still true.)

Today is one day after the Texas Memorial for the twelve Fort Hood soldiers gunned down at the Base. (One civilian also was killed.)

These dead, too, were killed in a war, the one that remains nameless.

I watched the memorial service through tears. Perhaps you did, too. When family members processed past these soldiers' photographs, they stopped at only one. Some touched their loved one's photo, some held on with both hands, some wept openly. Their faces weren't shown, but I felt our watching world intruded on what should have been their private moment.

Every November 11th, one word screams at me: pain. The pain endured by those who serve actively and how it changes their lives. Those who love them and pray for their safety and wait for their return live with pain, too. Sometimes that pain never leaves.

Each Veteran's Day reminds me of a handsome cousin I never knew who was killed in World War II. My aunt and uncle had four younger children, but that didn't cancel their grief at losing one. Years later her eyes would tear and she took on a misty expression whenever she mentioned his name or looked at his photograph.

I understand that better now

Two of our granddaughters have served in the Navy, one in Intelligence, still serving. The other served a stint in the Medical Corps with the Marines, with one tour in Kuwait and another near Baghdad. She came home with memories that still haunt her.

My husband and I are very proud of both of them–and we still pray every day that God will keep them safe. Our entire family breathed a collective sigh of relief and thanks each time either of our granddaughters was safely back on American soil.

The tragedy at Fort Hood reminds us all that being in the Armed Forces and stationed here in the States does not guarantee safety.

I think we all need Veteran's Day, this annual reminder that Freedom is not free

We need to remember again that preserving the freedoms we so casually take for granted carries an extremely high price tag.

One U.S. Marine Corps chaplain expressed it well:

"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."

~Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, Sergeant, USMC

May we never forget that

And may we honor those who serve now, as well as those who have given of their lives in service to America

Next time you and I spot someone in uniform it will mean the world to that individual if we take time to shake their hand and say, "Thank you for your service. May God watch over you."

That may seem a small thing–and it is–but they need to know we honor them and their sacrifices for keeping America free.

None of us know what comes next. With the world as it is, let's pray every day for God's protection and preservation of this United States of America and for all those who serve you and me, at home and overseas.

God bless America and may God bless you!

Lenore

Let’s hear it for the wives! And the husbands! And the children! And the parents!

November 11, 2016