Author: lbuth0511de28fc

That sounds impossible, doesn't it?

I used to think so, too. Then one day what I considered an inconvenience turned out to be pure blessing.

There I was, stuck in a line of shoppers waiting to check out at a local warehouse store. As usual, the place teemed with shoppers. Most of us were scowling and fidgety, checking our phones as we remained parked in line.

Not the petite older woman ahead of me. She seemed to have all the time in the world and looked around with a half-smile, as if she were slightly amused.

Finally she reached the checkout stand and the checker suppressed a yawn before saying, "Hello! Hope you're in the middle of a good day."

She smiled, then said, "Yes, of course I'm having a good day. I always have a good day."

"Really! How do you manage that?"

"Oh, it's easy. I decided a long time ago that I was done with having bad days. They're nothing more than a huge waste of time.

"I told myself that from then on I would have only good days–and I do, I really do. It took a little practice but now I refuse to get upset, no matter what happens."

The checker looked a bit flummoxed at that, but then said, "Um, that's great. You make it sound really simple."

"Well, I look at it this way: I'm the one in one in charge of my mind, nobody else."

As she put away her wallet and prepared to walk away she said, "I'm not handing that control over to anyone else."

She pointed upward

"Besides," she said, "I know who's watching over me, so I just figure one way or another, whatever happens HE will make everything work out okay."

By then all three of us were smiling.

The checker said, "Thanks, I needed that reminder today. When I get uptight I make myself take a few deep breaths. Then I shrug my shoulders a few times and try to relax."

As the little lady started to walk away, the checker said, "I like your way better. You decide beforehand your day will be good. I think I'll try that myself."

Our "teacher" flashed a parting smile and said, "You do that! Bet you'll be glad you did!"

I watched her while waiting for the checker to finish my order

She looked to be an oasis of serenity as she strolled through the crowd of hurrying people, many of them texting or talking on their phones while shushing their kids.

Her body language communicated that she possessed what I wanted for myself: A calm spirit. Inner peace. Smiles instead of frowns.

As I walked to my car I knew I would remember that encounter. My fellow shopper reminded me of what I had believed all my life, that yes, God is still in control and yes, I do have a will and and I choose how I look at life.

Before I even drove home I promised myself I would follow her example–and why couldn't I? She obviously drew her strength from the same Power Source I relied on, the One who never fails us.

I stuck with that resolution and began learning all over again to remember that each day is a gift from God. My call is to regard every day as a good day even before I began it.

She was right. I like this way much better, too.

Strength for the journey, especially on those "Who cares?" days

The Bible is filled with verses we can use as hand-holds whenever the climb feels too steep. Verses such as these:

This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Growth can take awhile

For me it often feels like a two steps forward, one step back process. I came to understand that's okay because I still move one step closer to my goal.

I have learned over time that my nameless friend spoke deep truth that day. It makes all the difference to decide beforehand that our day(s) will be good That simple move changes us, changes how we see ourselves and our life situation.

Inevitably, how we relate to the people around us changes, too–and that can bring the sweetest reward of all. Every day of every year.

Blessings to you and yours,

Lenore

Here’s the simple secret to having only good days

January 6, 2024
None of us know what Mary felt, but Scripture says it was something like this:

The day began like every other day.

Then out of nowhere a radiant being stood before me and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."

Somehow I knew it was an angel, yet why would an angel come to me? I was a poor young woman who lived in lowly Nazareth.

The angel said, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High."

I could make no sense of it, but as I felt my heart warm within me I knew it must be true.

"How will this be, since I am a virgin?"

"The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God . . . For nothing is impossible with God."

I could say nothing but "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said."

Suddenly I was alone again and my heart brimmed over with wonder and joy.

But … What will I tell Joseph?

Joseph! My precious Joseph, my betrothed. As was the custom, we were waiting out our year of betrothal before we came together as husband and wife.

What would Joseph say when he found out? What would he do?

A shiver of fear ran down my spine. He could accuse me in front of the elders and have me flogged in the public square. I would be disgraced. Alone.

No, I and this child would live in disgrace.

I sat a long time, pondering. Praying. Crying. I swung from joy to sadness and back to joy, over and over again.

At last I resolved to trust the Lord, no matter what

As any other man would be, Joseph was stunned to find out I was pregnant. Finally he said he cared too much for me to see me judged. That dear, righteous man would quietly seek a divorce.

Not long after, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

Joseph believed! Neither of us really understood, but we believed

How, I cannot say, but we knew it had to be true that God chose Joseph and me to be part of his miracle in sending his only son to earth.

Joseph took me to his home. We already had agreed not to come together as husband and wife until after God's Son was born.

Just as I feared, the townspeople whispered about the child I was carrying. The men called Joseph a fool, but he paid them no mind. He became my protector and my support.

The months went by.

Then Emperor Caesar Augustus decreed a census must be taken of the entire Roman world

Caesar ruled his Empire with an iron fist, so we had no choice. Joseph and I both belonged to the line of David, so we must travel from Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, and then to Bethlehem, the city of David.

Oh, the misery of that journey! I knew God's Son would be born soon. Whether I walked or rode on the donkey, I felt every jolt, every rock, every rut in the road.

Toward the end I did not think I could go on and I held my aching belly as I walked. We were close to Bethlehem when I felt a sharp pain down low. I knew my time to give birth would be soon.

Yet we had no place to stay.

Joseph searched the town, pounding on doors, frantically inquiring of innkeepers. There were no rooms, not anywhere. At last one kind man took pity and told us we could stay in his stable.

A stable for God's Son?

At least we would be out of the cold night air and have a bit of privacy. The innkeeper lent us a small oil lamp. We watched its light dance and flicker on the rough walls and listened to the soft sounds of the animals.

Joseph did what he could. He spread out a garment for me and helped me lie down on it. My swollen feet throbbed and my whole body ached.

We had only the warmth–and the smell–of the animals. Only our love for each other.

Only the waiting for God's Son to be born.

Then my labor pangs began in earnest, quickly growing stronger. Joseph stayed by my side, his eyes filling with tears as he stroked my forehead and tenderly whispered my name, over and over. I hear him still: Mary. Mary …

Then the urge to push grew stronger. With one final push and a long sigh my labor was over.

God's Son, the Savior, the long-awaited Messiah, was born!

As I looked into my baby's face I wondered what the future might hold for him. Then I wrapped him in soft cloths I brought with me and held him.

After awhile I laid the Child on top of the fresh hay Joseph had spread in the manger. It was the cleanest place in that cattle barn.

We never could have imagined what would come next. A group of shepherds burst into the stable. They went right to the manger and gazed down at Jesus. Then they bowed down in worship.

Their faces glowed.

As if they already knew who he was

After awhile they told us what brought them to the manger. They were guarding their sheep out on the Bethlehem hills as usual.

Suddenly everything around them shone so bright they fell to the ground. Then an angel appeared and said, "I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Before they could speak a word the sky filled with a great company of angels, all of them singing and praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men."

Just as suddenly the angels were gone. The shepherds could hardly contain themselves. One said, "Let us go to Bethlehem and see this wonderful thing!"

So they abandoned their sheep and ran as fast as they could to find the Savior, Christ the Lord, there in that lowly manger just as the angel told them.

Why were any of us surprised?

Centuries before Jesus was born there lived a prophet of God named Isaiah. He foretold that a virgin would be with child and give birth to a son who would be called Immanuel, which means, "God with us."

I never stopped thanking God for choosing me to be part of that glorious night.

Still, to my dying day I wondered how it could be that one night God stepped into our world and almost no one paid attention.

_________________________________

Dear reader friends,

To read the best-known account of Christ's birth, turn to Luke 2:1-20 in the Bible.

Nothing has changed: Jesus is God with us. All who believe in him as Lord and Savior are forgiven for every sin and will live eternally. (John 3:16-17)

Thank you for reading my blog. I pray each of you will have JOY in Jesus this Christmas–and throughout every day of the year ahead!

With love,

Lenore

Looking at the first Christmas through Mary’s eyes

December 13, 2023
When Nick Vujicic speaks–and he does, all over the world–people hang on every word. They can't quite believe that this man is saying what he's saying.

Certainly I found that to be true.

Some years ago my husband and I heard Nick speak and afterward joined the crowd around the stage. His smile lit up the room.

Since then I've seen him on television and just recently on YouTube.

Always, I marvel how every day he triumphs over challenges that would drive many of us to curl up in the corner and wail.

And then there are his remarkable parents. Three sonograms gave them no warning their child would be born with problems.

Imagine their shock to find their newborn son possessed no arms and no legs, only a sort of a "foot flipper" at the bottom left of his torso.

What would you do?

No doubt many well-meaning people told Nick's parents that raising their severely handicapped child would be too much for them and they should turn him over to the professionals.

They paid no attention.

That plucky pair took their baby son home and somehow loved him into a remarkable wholeness of spirit.

They did more than love him absolutely. They gave Nick a lifetime gift.

They instilled in him the sense that he was bigger than the obstacles he faced.

They assured their son he could trust God to make a way for him and use him. Somehow. Somewhere. Some way.

Still, it was years before Nick believed it wholeheartedly for himself.

The boy with the hard name and the weird body

Nick Vujicic (VOO-yee-cheech) was born in Melbourne, Australia, in 1982. As you would guess, being taunted and bullied were everyday occurrences.

He says, "I often came home crying and told my parents, 'I hate school! The kids make fun of me!'

"My parents always said, 'Don't pay any attention. You're God's creation, fearfully and wonderfully made, and we love you. You just smile back and talk to them and play with them as much as you can.' After awhile things got better, but I often felt depressed.

"I accepted myself after I read about the blind man in John 9.  I read how Jesus said the blind man was born that way so that the works of God would be revealed through him. I said to God that if He had a plan for that man I certainly believed that He had one for me.

"That's when I totally surrendered the idea of ‘needing to know the plan’ and trusted in Him one day at a time."

Would you describe Nick as "disabled?"

Most people would. Here's what he says about disability: "We all have brokenness. Mine just shows more than most people's.

"Fear is the biggest disability of all. Fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real. Courage is doing what's in front of us, even when we're afraid."

Asked how he finds courage to keep going every day, Nick smiled. "I thank God for what I have instead of complaining about what I don't have.

Nick says, “If God can use a man without arms and legs to be His hands and feet, then certainly He will use any willing heart!”

God answers Nick's heartfelt prayers

For years Nick wondered whether any woman ever could or ever would love him. Then God answered his lifelong prayers for a godly wife and a family of his own.

He and Kanae fell in love and then married on February 12, 2012.

And now they have four beautiful children.

(To read more of his story, go to his website: www.lifewithoutlimbs.org or Google his name.)

Nick Vujicic often quotes a favorite verse.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."                                  Jeremiah 29:11

Dear reader friends, that same promise applies to you and to me, every bit as much as it does to Nick. If we compare our problems to Nick's we may feel we have no right to complain, but we are human. Inevitably, we will have times when we feel broken and downhearted. Even then, in Jesus Christ our hope and our future is secure.

Let's resolve to live our lives, too, by the sure and certain promises we find in God's Word.

Lenore

You Can Soar Above Your Challenges

October 26, 2023
Every one of us may answer that differently but still, we would prefer our lives to run along smoothly.

Please raise your hand if that describes your life. Hmm.

Okay then, let's consider the question from a different angle. Did you ever consider what your tough times taught you? Or watch that play out for someone else?

I learned a big life lesson from our long-ago friend Bill. He and his wife were part of a small group of friends who got together every couple of weeks. We often talked about our lives, our problems and how we as Christians could deal with them.

Whatever the situation, Bill's opinion seldom wavered. He believed the trials that test our will and our strength created a situation where our faith could shine through.

Plain-spoken Bill always managed to insert his favorite truth:

"When the rubber meets the road, what's inside us will show up."

Then a huge pothole opened up in front of Bill

When our group met that week Bill seemed distracted. Finally he said, "This has been one tough week and I'm glad it's over!"

Then Bill spelled it out for us:

As a building contractor, he had survived more than one economic challenge by barely hanging on. Then demand picked up, so he hired a few sub-contractors. Two of them never showed up and the third guy did shoddy work.

Then building materials were delivered to his warehouse and on inspection turned out to be sub-standard.

In one of his buildings careless renters set their apartment on fire, which spread to adjoining units in another building he managed.

"All this in one week?" I asked.

"Yeah. Problems are nothing new, but usually I have some breathing space."

Somebody asked how he managed to keep going and keep on trusting, even when it seemed everything had turned sour.

Bill thought a bit, then said, "Guess I have enough smarts to learn from life and trust God to get me through."

Then the rubber hit Bill's road, big time

His doctor delivered a shock. Results of recent tests showed that Bill's "little problem" was a life-threatening health crisis.

He sought out the best medical treatment he could afford. Extensive surgery and arduous treatments followed, but Bill followed instructions precisely. He and his wife came to church as often as he was able, Bill walking slowly and leaning on a cane. His face looked pale and drawn, but still he smiled.

Still spoke faith and encouragement to the rest of us.

Again and again my husband and I watched this one man lift the spirits of everyone who glimpsed him or who was within range of his voice.

"Hey, it's just life," Bill would say. "God is in charge and I am at peace. I'm keeping my eyes on Him. However He works it out, I win."

That's true for the rest of us, too

We moved several months later but the last I heard, Bill had recovered his health and energy.

I think of him when I read again what the Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11-13:

… I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. NIV

Paul's "circumstances" were no slice of angel food cake. Just read 2 Corinthians 11:16-33 to read of Paul's floggings, beatings, imprisonments, shipwrecks and being left for dead many times.

Was that how Paul learned to be content?

Surely Paul must have had times of feeling alone and abandoned

That's when he clung to Jesus, as he wrote in 2 Corinthians 4:7-10:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. NIV

Are you wondering about the "jars of clay?" Paul knew Scripture backwards and forwards and was referring to Genesis 2.

That's where God created the first human being (Adam) out of the dust of the earth, remember?

Our friend Bill lived the truth of Paul's words

Even on his worst days, this down-to-earth guy presented a ready smile to the world. We Christian friends knew what kept Bill going. He drew on the light of Jesus and the strength of Jesus within him.

Like the Apostle Paul, Bill kept his eyes on Jesus rather than on himself and what was going on in his life. When he slipped up–and he did, of course, being human–he went back to what he believed, asked God's help and began again.

With evidently no self-pride or aim to impress, Bill simply lived his life as a man who depended on Jesus living within him to get him through his days.

You know that saying that we believers are to be "little Christs" in the world we live in?

Bill just being Bill lived out that truth and everyone around him wanted what he had.

He believed the truth of Ephesians 2:10 every day

It's all ours for the taking, if we, like Bill, keep our eyes on the One who promises to enable us and be our strength:

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalm 73:26 NLT

He depended on God and His power, not on his own–and said so. He left everyone who knew him an unforgettable model for living.

Simply said, Bill chose to have the best of times–even in his worst of times.

I pray your life is good, my friend, and your heart is at peace,

Lenore

Best of Times or Worst of Times? It’s Your Call

October 23, 2023
A lot of people believe the very idea of keeping love alive–and thriving–over the years is an impossible dream. Not true.

From what I've observed over the years what's needed most is that each marriage partner does their best to keep their marriage Priority One.

How does that play out in practical terms? Something like this:

1. Check how you look at life

Because you two are building a life and a future together, think "we" instead of "me."

Abandon any "I need to do what's best for me" thinking. In marriage each one aims to put the other's needs and wants ahead of their own. (You're partners, united in building your life together.)

It's not an exact science, not something to keep track of. How it plays out from day to day will vary.

Is this uncomfortable at times? Yes. Does it communicate that you value the person you married? Yes. Does it reinforce your oneness? Yes.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

2. Major in looking for strengths instead of weaknesses

It's always easier to pick out what's wrong in a person or a situation. Let that go and focus on what's good and right. Affirm those qualities with your honest praise.

The receiver(s) will beam and grow stronger. So will your marriage–and your family.

Promise each other to strike phrases like, "You never," and "You always" from your self-talk and conversations. (And especially from your arguments.)

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.   Ephesians 4:29

3. Safeguard your trust in each other

Being trust-worthy is a gift you give each other and build on by being honest with each other, time after time, always with love and kindness.

What if one of you says or does something hurtful? Forget pride. The one needs to apologize sincerely and the other needs to forgive. Then leave it behind.

Being able to trust the one you're married to glues you together, even during the worst of times and communicates to your children that they can trust their parents.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

4. Give up the idea of 50-50

Forget tracking who did more of what last time and the times before that. This kind of nitpicking kills love.

Struggling to find the "right" percentages seldom pays off. In the strongest marriages, sometimes one gives more and sometimes the other gives more, according to what's needed at the time.

Happy couples know the life they're building together counts more than who "wins."

[Jesus said] "And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them." Luke 6:31

5. Abandon expectations of how it should be

This sets you up to be disappointed whenever your spouse or your life doesn't meet some idea of "perfect" you heard about or read about.

Harping on little annoyances slowly erodes a marriage relationship. Choose instead to be glad for what is. Talk about that, build on it–and get more of it.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18

6. Accept that your marriage partner has human frailties, just as you do

For all of us, it's easier to forgive ourselves for our own weaknesses and slip-ups than to forgive our spouse for theirs.

Aim to be at least as objective and charitable toward the one you married as you are with your friends.

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

7. Recognize the power of words

Not everything is worth saying.

Hurtful words live on in memory long after bad moods and angry outbursts have passed. So do words of thoughtful praise and love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

8. Appreciate the day you're living now

Instead of thinking "someday" will be better, work on making this day better. A lifetime consists of days, lived out one at a time.

One day at a time you can get through rough spots and scary times together.

Mindset matters. So does what you say about your relationship, whether to each other or to friends or co-workers because this also impacts how you view your marriage and your life.

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29 (New Living Translation)

9. Love is not just an emotion

Real, lasting love is so much more. Every day one decides to keep on loving. That makes love an action word.

We can decide to act in loving ways even when our emotions are lukewarm. Almost always the feeling of love will return soon.

Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.   Ephesians 4:32

10. Pray

Prayer is simply talking to our loving Father from the heart–and knowing He hears us.

My husband and I prayed individually and attended worship services together from the start. We did our best to follow Bible teachings in how we lived and parented our children.

Yet somehow we didn't begin praying aloud together for years. Only then did we realize we had cheated ourselves out of so much because this real, honest sharing helped us understand each other better. It deepened our individual faith as well.

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. Psalm 145:18

Building a strong marriage doesn't happen in a week or two

Even for two people who start out full of love and joy, growing a marriage is the work of a lifetime–and it's worth it!

Take the long view. Some days and some stretches of time will be better than others. That's life. For everyone.

Don't get fixated on what may in reality be little more than a blip in the story of your life together. Stay focused on what matters most.

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:23

Believe in your marriage

Can love last? Absolutely! Ignore those who deny or ridicule that truth.

Make it your mutual, unshakable resolve to stay worthy of each other's love and to nurture your relationship. Your joy in each other will warm your hearts.

For countless couples, including my husband and me, our shared faith in Jesus made all the difference. (Now you know why I included so many Bible verses.)

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13

Blessings, always,

Lenore

Yes, You Can Have a Marriage That Lasts

October 3, 2023
When you look into a mirror who looks back at you?

Is it you as you really are or is it the person you think you should be?

This may seem a silly question, especially since it's a given that every one of us keeps growing and changing all through our lives–until one considers how many people rate their self-worth on the number of "likes" they get on social media. It's as if one's value as a person depends on what other people think of that individual.

By this logic, someone I never met–and likely never will–gets to tell me if I'm acceptable or not and whether my opinion is valid.

At the very least, isn't this un-American?

And if that's how we choose to live, doesn't it mean we hand over control of who we are and what we think to other people? To strangers?

With so many opinions floating around in our heads do we even know who we are?

Years ago–in the midst of my adolescent flailing around to find myself–my mom passed on this familiar quote from Shakespeare. She also briefly noted this truth offers a solid standard to live by:

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Even then I heard the inner click that signaled I needed to hang onto this truth.

Over time I realized my need for this to be true was as much a part of me as the color of my eyes. It explained why I could be troubled about some little cruelty among classmates or about suffering in a far-off country I could barely pronounce. Other kids my age just shrugged and said something like, "Aw, who cares? What does it matter to me?"

(As you might guess, this temperament quality never earned me the title "Miss Popularity.")

When I came to know myself better I realized the people I admired most were those who seemed to share this same need to be authentic.

When my husband and I met I sensed an inner honesty in him early on. Over a lifetime I found that to be always true. Yes, we disagreed sometimes, as all couples do, but each of us learned to respect the other's right to hold a different, well thought-out opinion. I knew I could trust him to be honest with me and he knew he never had to wonder if I were being truthful with him.

This mutual acceptance helped each of us feel more secure with ourselves and who we were. It also tremendously strengthened our marriage relationship.

United we stood

As parents we tried to anticipate what would be coming next and talk it through so we would be prepared for what came next. Our girls soon learned it was pointless to try to play one parent against the other to wangle permission for something we hadn't discussed. Our standard reply would be, "Sorry, but your dad (or mom) and I need to talk it over first."

This didn't stop our four lively, ever-changing daughters from trying. Or mounting campaigns complete with informing us that "all the other kids" already had their parents' okay.

We would listen patiently as they pleaded their case and then often say what they didn't want to hear: "Sorry, Hon, but we can't say Yes. We love you very much, but that wouldn't be for your best and that's what we're here for."

They still wailed (not wanting to appear too easy) but their pouts didn't last long.

Did they appreciate at the time that we were trying to be good parents? Not hardly.

Muddling through life

Isn't that what most of us do? None of us knows the precise path that lies ahead of us, so I'm guessing we do the best we can and try to do what's right.

I'm a Christian and I've learned that life is not about what I know, nor how good I am. How can I be sure? This may sound way too simple, but I trace it back to a simple faith song I learned as a young child. The song begins like this:

Jesus loves me, This I know, For the Bible tells me so.

These simple truths of faith have been for me like a solid railing that's in place beside a slippery path so all I have to do is grab hold and hang on tight as I walk.

Want something solid to hang onto for yourself?

Here's a trio of truths to start with:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

(Note the "whoever." This promise is for everyone. Everywhere.)

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye on you. Psalm 32:8

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Once I got it straight in my mind that I am a child of God and He loves me, any uncertainty about figuring out who I was gradually cleared up and life got easier. Although I never got that Miss Popularity crown, it's okay. I know who I am.

I wish the same for you, dear reader,

Lenore

Let’s Be True to Who We Are

July 17, 2023
“And they lived happily ever after…”

Somehow that phrase iimplies there’s a kind of magic that settles like morning dew upon the woman and man who fall in love and promise to love each other for life. Surely this means life will be constant bliss, day after day.

Doesn’t it?

Well, not quite. Not for two human beings, imperfect as we all are. Besides, no one is happy, happy, happy without fail, 24/7.

…..Even the best marriage takes TLC. Both marriage partners nurture and look out for each other. Not when they’re in the mood, but day after day because their marriage is a living thing, not just two signatures on a marriage license.

My husband and I learned how true that is. We ……

“Love,” by itself, is not enough

Christian counselors tell us there is a secret to growing a strong marriage and it’s easy to understand. . Here’s the formula:

We before You

You before Me.

We:  What nurtures and strengthens our marriage comes first, before either partner’s personal desires.

You: Each of us places the other’s needs and wants ahead of having it our way. (If that sounds belittling, think how sweet life could be if both partners lived this way.)

Me: What I want, what I need to be happy, the way I want things to be ranks at the bottom of the list.

The problem is that on the inside we’re all two-year olds yelling, “I want it my way!”

Always, the issue is, what matters most right now? And which strategy will keep us feeling we’re a team?

Your answers will vary with the this-minute, this-day situation. Your solid core of trust in each other will drive out any feelings that one of you is taking advantage of the other. Or it should. It’s simply the give-and-take as needed–which inevitably keeps changing.

It’s not just young children who have “stages” of growth. We all do, as we grow and change over the years.

What matters is that you both–as a couple–aim to keep your sense of oneness alive–and growing stronger.

Keep first things first

When both husband and wife aim to live this out they send each other the message that strengthens their relationship: “I love you. You and what you need from our marriage comes first with me.”

All this echoes Philippians 2:4: Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Real life calls for give-and-take. Some days it will be all about one and other days it will be all about the other. (And every parent soon learns that some days what comes first is what your child needs.)

That’s life. For everyone.

New joys and challenges that come up always call for adjustments

Job changes, even when it’s a promotion or a salary increase. Moving from one place to another, perhaps just to a different area not far from where you came. Having a child or blending two families will stretch you and teach you more than you can guess beforehand. However your children arrive, they bring blessings with them–and call for some adapting of one’s usual routines. You can be doing everything right as parents and loving every minute of your time with your child. Even so, there will be days–or periods–when it takes all the patience and grace and sense of humor you can muster, simply to get through the day.

This makes it vital that both marriage partners share the resolve to making sure you stay connected as a couple.

Why bother with the extra effort? First, because it makes life more satisfying. Second, because the two of you working together to make sure your relationship remains strong and nurturing is good for your children, too.

Whether you realize it or not, your darlings are watching how you interact with each other. When they see Dad pat Mom on the butt, or notice how Mommy gives Daddy that “special smile,” they smile and feel all warm inside

Your strong marriage gives your kids a sense of security, even at younger ages. As they get older they’ll become aware that a husband and wife can split up. That’s scary for a child.They feel reassured they don’t need to worry, even if their best friend’s parents just split up.

As you two give each other the gift of love you also give your children the gift of inner stability.

How can a couple keep love alive?

Make it a habit to find your own way to snatch some time for the two of you every day, like after work. Be prepared, perhaps by keeping a special snack drawer and healthy veggies in the fridge. Hungry youngsters well may consider this time a treat if you allow them to watch special TV programs or the like.

This frees up a bit of time when Mom and Dad can adjourn to a quiet corner–even in the same room–where you can reconnect and talk with fewer interruptions.

Be creative. It’s all about finding what works for you.

First, last and always, talk. Talk. Talk. And listen.

Speak words of love, too

Just hearing the words sincerely spoken helps turn attention off ourselves and back to building strength into the marriage. When one or the other has had “one of those days,” it will lift both your spirits as you gently mention qualities you see in them and truly admire.

Many counselors advise couples to hold hands, which means facing each other eye-to-eye–even when you are not in the mood. Even if it feels forced, just this skin-to-skin contact reminds you that underneath it all, you two are the same people who breathlessly promised to love each other forever.

Day after day, each one’s words matter and have a lasting effect on both.

Years ago the poet Ogden Nash laid out his own catchy formula for husbands and wives who want to stay married:

To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
Whenever you’re right, shut up.

Again and again we will fail

But we keep trying. When we slip up, we forgive each other–and ourselves. That’s way better than nursing hurt feelings and growing bitter.

It is achingly lonely to be stuck on a cold hill of injured pride.

Could it ever be too late to make a new beginning? Almost never, except when there’s abuse.

Even if only one partner changes–and perseveres–the effect can be positive. Healing can begin, something to build on.

A husband and wife who seek to live out these principles develop an enduring bond. Each one feels safe with the other. Trust grows and becomes a firm foundation. Love grows and blooms.

This translates into a marriage that lasts.

Enduring wisdom to live by

The Apostle Paul tells us how to live as Christians and it also describes how to keep a marriage strong. Here is Philippians 2:2-5, as it reads in the J.B. Phillips Paraphrase:

Live together in harmony, live together in love, as though you had only one mind and one spirit between you.

Never act from motives of rivalry or personal vanity, but in humility think more of each other than you do of yourselves.

None of you should think only of his own affairs, but should learn to see things from other people’s point of view.

Let Christ Jesus be your example as to what your attitude should be.

Whether married or single, here’s to living strong in Jesus!

May your heart be filled with His love and peace and joy,

Lenore

Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage

June 23, 2023
Let's start with the ever-changing definition of dads

It wasn't so long ago that a man who treated his wife and kids well and brought home a regular paycheck would be admired. If he took an interest in his children, so much the better.

Back then, maybe a father read to his kids and attended his children's ball games and school programs, maybe not. If he said, "Sorry, I'm just too tired from work," his family gave him no static.

Instead, Mom and the kids would be sympathetic. "Oh, poor Dad, you worked so hard all day. No wonder you're worn out."

From earliest times a Christian wife felt doubly blessed if her husband loved Jesus and went to church with the family.

He who fears the LORD has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge. Proverbs 14:26 NIV

Then and now

Currently, not so many people agree with that approach. Today, most moms expect (or at least, hope) Dad will be on hand for kid things. After all, didn't they agree they would be equal partners in rearing their children?

Life often blocks good intentions, leaving Mom (or Dad) to fly solo. The parent who feels stuck with filling in may say nothing, just paste on a tight smile and take over.

Next time this couple sees each other, tension may crackle the air. One says the other has not lived up to expectations and gets a response like, "Well, what about the time you … ?"

Most couples who've logged a few years of marriage learn a better way and likely would say something like this:

Give up trying to prove who's more "right." When one "wins," both of you lose.

Who comes first?

Early on, a wise older friend gave my husband and me good advice. "Don't get so much into your role as parents that you have nothing left between you once your children are wrapped up in their own lives."

Over time we better understood the strength of that tip. As our four children discovered they "needed" this or that and pleaded their cases with us, we two each needed an ally! Our kids discovered it was pointless to try to play one parent against the other.

Standing together also reminded us we were a couple. A team. We loved our children with all our hearts, but it helped so much to know each of us marriage partners placed the other first. Being human, we slipped up occasionally, but in general we stuck to this principle except in emergencies.

Years later our adult children one by one told us our unity and stability reassured them–even when they railed against it. Why? Because it reassured them we planned to stay married.

Your healthy marriage relationship builds lasting strength into your children.

We're all cracked pots–and it's okay

Nobody's perfect. Years ago author Patsy Clairmont said our "cracks" allow the light of Jesus to shine through us.

So in all our dealings but especially within our marriage and family, let's cut each other some slack. Let's show grace and be quick to forgive and accept each other as yes, imperfect people. And our sons and daughters, too.

Count on it: Your love and mutual forgiveness in the nitty-gritty of daily life will benefit your kids all their lives. It's how we parents most effectively model for our children how Christians are to handle conflict and frustrations.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3 NIV

Does the idea of Father's Day dredge up old hurts?

It's a sad fact that many adults still ache to hear their father say the words, "I love you."

For generations, men believed whatever they did to provide for their wife and children obviously demonstrated their love loud and clear. The old "Actions speak louder than words" applies here. Many men simply never learned how to express their love. How to say the words.

Where does this leave you if you're still hurting? Good news, healing is possible, no matter how many years have elapsed–or even if you ever hear those words spoken.

It means being willing to lay down our battered bundle of pain at the foot of the cross and leave it there. Over and over, if necessary, until finally, we can let it go. We can't heal if we insist on picking it up again.

Jesus Christ fills our empty places with his love and makes us whole.

All of life gets easier when we give up thinking what people should be

Once we leave that judgment behind we can accept each other–and ourselves–as we are.

Love enables us to forgive what's missing.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 NIV

The Good News of the Gospel tells us we needn't generate this love on our own:

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 ESV

God created only individuals

No specific personality makes us a "good dad" or a "good mom." Neither does one parenting style or the other. It's all about living out love, healthy love that builds strength.

Let's tune out the drone of talking heads and listen to the still, small voice living within us. Leading us. Guiding us. Enabling us.

That voice is the Holy Spirit, Jesus living within our hearts, tenderly telling us, "Love one another as I have loved you."

When that's our standard for parenting, no worries, even if money is tight and our life situations are challenging. In the minds of our children, Dad will be a "good dad" and Mom will be a "good mom," because they will remember the love that ruled our hearts and our home.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV

Whatever our situation, let's resolve to rejoice! Even if. Even when. Even though.

Lenore

What does it take to be a good parent?

June 8, 2023
Most of us know at least one person who believes others get all the luck and they don't have much of a chance to be happy or successful.

I think of my friend "Ellie," whom I've known for years. Whenever life disappoints her she says something like, "Well, that's the way it goes for me. It's that old black cloud that's been parked over my head since I was born."

Where she got that idea I don't know, but no one has been able to convince her she's wrong.

Ellie remains convinced she's unlucky. Therefore, everything turns out less well for her than for people around her. End of discussion.

I've come to think she feels a perverse kind of satisfaction when she can say, "See there? I told you everything happens to me and nothing ever works out right!"

Maybe Ellie's mindset isn't far from from our own, just a little bit. Or even a lotta bit.

Our outlook defines the "world" we live in

Christians are not immune to this way of thinking.

Most of us would confess we've asked God at times, "Why?" "How?" "When will this be over?"

Even as people who know and trust our Lord, it's still true that how we see determines what we see and yes, it often takes courage and strength to look on the bright side.

Maybe that's because it takes less energy to look down than up.

Negativity is rather like gravity. It exerts an invisible pull that drags us down.

Always, we get to choose

A favorite pastor who always seemed to be looking up, not down, said the first thing he did every morning was say, "Thank you, Lord, for another day. This is the day You have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it."

Next he took a few moments and ran through his reasons to thank God.

I knew him well enough to know he had his share of troubles and sorrows in his life, yet he deliberately turned his attention toward God's goodness and power.

That changes things, doesn't it?

We can keep our eyes on ourselves–on our problems and our limited abilities–and panic.

Or we can remind ourselves that as believers in Jesus, the Lord of heaven and earth is on our side, which shrinks our challenges down to their rightful size.

Christians, too, can hit one of those times when everything appears to us to be unsolvable and we're drifting toward hopelessness. That's the time to remind ourselves Who has the last word:

"I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" —Jeremiah 32:27 NIV

Always, we find what we look for

Even in the worst times we still have a choice: We can fixate on what's wrong or we can remind ourselves what we know is right and good and true.

The Apostle Paul knew all about that. For years he traveled far and wide to tell people about Jesus and repeatedly experienced the worst kind of hardships, including beatings and imprisonments. Even then, he wrote to the Philippians:

Finally, brothers [and sisters,] whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. –Philippians 4:8 NIV

In those few words Paul shows us how to shed our own "black cloud":

Always asking God's help, we resolve to day after day fasten our thoughts on what is good. When we do that, over time the darkness of everyday life will lose its pull on us.

It's our mindset that matters most

Chuck Swindoll summed it up well: "We have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for the day. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Our attitude is everything."

As always, the Bible stated this same truth centuries before Swindoll:

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he … . –Proverbs 23:7 NKJV

Perhaps you, too, know this and believe it, but still must keep relearning this truth again and again. (Me, too.) The good news is we can start over tomorrow. And the tomorrow after that every day of our lives. Today's failure is never final.

As Swindoll said, it's all about how we react to what happens to us. (Or doesn't.) That leaves us with no one to blame, but isn't that a good thing?

Doesn't this mean we get to decide whether we will walk in sunshine or live under a "dark cloud"?

Let's head our daily checklist with these two questions to think about:

What am I thinking in my heart?

How happy/contented/hopeful have I decided to be?

Only you (and I) can come up with answers for ourselves. Think of that as the ultimate power statement.

Thankful for each new start,

Lenore
Do you live under a dark cloud?

May 30, 2023
No matter who we are, whatever our age or life situation, the unpredictability of life can get us down.

The truth is that sometimes life is hard.

That's true even for those of us who are Christians. I am and I trust God's many promises to be with us and to be our strength. Perhaps you do, too.

When trouble comes knocking we cling to these Bible promises as a drowning person to a lifeline. We long to take God at his word and yet … sometimes we feel very alone and headed for disaster.

Our desire is to be strong and immovable but we feel tossed around like driftwood.

That's the time to turn to God's promises in the Bible. For example, one that's cherished by many believers is God's promise to the Israelites after they had been exiled in Babylon. It's from Jeremiah, Chapter 29:11 (NLT):

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

To find our footing, grab onto these truths and refuse to let go

Life often feels like too much to handle on our own. That's when it helps so much to share the load with our best Friend, Jesus, and turn over our fears and doubts to him. Prayer is nothing more than talking to him as we would to a friend we can trust.

It's good to remind ourselves that all through life our attitude–our mindset–determines how we react and how we deal with whatever life hands out.

It's exactly as the writer of Proverbs said in 23:7a:

As he thinks in his heart, so is he. –NKJV

This verse applies to every one of us: As we think in our minds, so we are. When we truly absorb that into our minds and hearts it's not long before we become more aware of how consistently that principle works.

Is this easy to do? No. We first need to set aside our "logical thinking" and acquired theories and be ready to trust as simply as small children do. Only then will we be ready to put our hand into our loving Heavenly Father's hand and walk in faith.

It's often helpful to make lists and write down what we know is true with a pen and paper. There's something about the act of writing our thoughts down on paper that helps us clarify patterns and shows us when we're chasing our tail rather than getting closer to finding answers.

The bottom line: How we react to what comes can strengthen us in our struggles or ramp up our fears.

No one can take away our power to choose how we think

That's been true from the beginning because God creates only one-of-a-kind human beings. No one else makes us think a certain way. That freedom belongs to each of us alone.

Chuck Swindoll, well-known Christian pastor and writer, wrote a lot about attitude in one of his most-loved books, Strengthening Your Grip.

Here are some quotes–and paraphrases–taken from that book:

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than the past. More important than education."

More important than how much money we have–or don't have.

More important than failures or successes.

More important than what other people think or say or do.

It is more important than our age or the state of our health.

Attitude will make or break a company. A church. A marriage. A family.

I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it.

Every day we choose the outlook we will put on for the day

Chuck's conclusions are true for you and me. Every day of our lives we choose our attitude and then our attitudes rule our lives.

Our perspective on any situation rules how we think about it.

If you doubt that, consider a common "for instance" like this. Picture yourself dragging around and feeling depressed–and maybe not knowing why. Then comes an unexpected phone call, a text or an email that lifts your heart. In an instant your gloom and sadness turn into smiles.

Often nothing has changed except the way we look at our life.

Putting it into practice day by day

Over the years I've learned that what I say to myself just after I wake up makes a difference all day long. Those first thoughts set the tone for my waking hours.

During those waking-up moments I often take a mental inventory. I can say to myself, Oh, I wish I could stay in bed all day! I am not looking forward to the same old, same old of my life. I need a break!

Or I can think, This is the day the Lord has given me as a gift. I WILL rejoice and be glad in it! (Psalm 118:24)

Thanking God for being able to breathe and walk and talk doesn't take away any aches or morning stiffness I might experience. What it does is shift my perspective just a little bit. It reminds me that every day of my life is God's gift and in Him I live and move and have my being. (Acts 17:28)

This slight twist to how I start off my day shifts my thoughts to a more positive track and makes the whole day better.

Moment-by-moment, we choose where we park our minds

I don't know about you, but this is the lesson I seem to need to relearn, over and over.

As I think in my heart, so I am–and so is my life.

Here's to all of us being teachable. All. Our. Days.

Lenore

Is it time to do an attitude adjustment?

May 15, 2023