Author: lbuth0511de28fc

We've all been there, in one of those times when our life feels as flat as a soda that's lost its fizz.

The dark mood hangs on, even though nothing in our lives has changed. Our "glass" is as full today as it was yesterday. Last week. Last month.

Yet we see emptiness, not fullness.

That's because we call it as we see it at the moment, not as it is.

It's not helpful that we may do that with our family members and friends, too. We become blind to their good points and see only their faults.

We look at our lives and say, "Well, nobody's life is perfect, but …"

Then that little voice inside asks, Couldn't my life be a bit, um, more? Couldn't that other person change just a little bit? If only ….

Trust me, it's risky to hang around too long in the land of "If only."

I know a woman, let's call her Ginny, and I doubt she ever goes there. She has a pile of problems, but you'd never guess. Ask her how she's doing and she usually replies, "Great! If my life got any better, I couldn't stand it!"

Ask her to elaborate and she'll say, "Well, I am breathing in and out–and that's a good thing. My arms and legs get me around, no help needed, and my mind works just fine. So do my eyes, even if I do need Coke-bottle eyeglasses to see well. I have a roof over my head and I eat regularly. I'm part of a church family, where we love the Lord and we love each other. Best of all, I know Jesus loves me and watches over me, so I see myself as rich."

It took me awhile to understand that every time Ginny repeats all the reasons she has to be thankful it reinforces in her mind that she is blessed and it shifts her thinking to what's good and right and true.

Does that sounds too simple? Most great truths are.

What if you and I counted our blessings not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of the year?

Suppose we gave up harping on what's wrong and bemoaning what's missing and deliberately focused on what is good. Saying it out loud helps, too, even if there's no one else around.

Picture starting each day with, "Thank you, Lord, for this day and for every blessing in my life. Thank you for promising to be with me every minute. Guide me and use me, I pray, and get me through this day."

Think how that simple change could improve our marriages, our family relationships and our friendships.

Researchers say don't stop there

Don't take my word for it. A Texas Tech University study proved the value of counting our blessings and then counting them again. They divided study participants into two groups with similar life situations.

This turned out to be a genius way to prove that even such a simple practice made a huge difference. The folks who frequently and deliberately took time to re-appreciate the good in their lives scored themselves as happier than those who didn't.

Researchers concluded that counting our blessings–over and over–reminds us of their value and helps us stay contented.

As the song says,

"Count your blessings, name them one by one . . .

"And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

Our perception of life depends on where we look.

Most of all it helps if we take our eyes off the gifts and focus on the Giver. He is the real source of life in our life.

Here are some verses to help us get us started.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Why not give it a try?

This Thanksgiving and every day may you have blessings too numerous to count–and may you have eyes to see them!

Wishing you joy,

Lenore

Put some life back in your life

November 14, 2022
Some of us assume what's being taught in the schools needn't concern us unless we have children still attending.

Are you sure?

Today's schoolkids will be tomorrow's adults. Tomorrow's leaders in every community and in every level of government.

What these children learn in school and adopt as their personal values today will determine how they will live–and lead–tomorrow.

That kid on the corner who "drives you crazy" today may grow up to be President tomorrow.

(And you may still be around. Don't you take better care of your health hoping to live longer?)

Politics and preferences aside, let's think it through

I don't pretend to be an expert in any way and this piece can only skim the surface. Any misstatements or mistakes are unintentional. Because situations vary from place to place, I hope it you will research the facts in your local schools and communities. Only then will you know for yourself what the issues are where you live.

If you've wondered why curriculum and policy in public schools has drawn so much discussion and criticism of late, start with this. Some years ago educators and school boards decided students needed to be better equipped for modern society, which called for more than "the basics." Classes such as sex education, cultural studies and sensitivity training became standard, along with varying amounts of computer science, technical skills, etc.

Choices had to be made because there's only so much time in a school day. Which subjects and practices would stay and which would need to be either shortened or eliminated?

The goal was that students would be more balanced, better-equipped to live in today's world and also more sensitive to all races, religions and ethnic groups. These changes and innovations were meant to ease tensions and enable a more sensitive, peaceful society for all

This often led to revisions in school policy such as ruling that any teaching of morals, ethics or integrity were not to be taught or even alluded to in the classroom. This would avoid anything that traced back to Christianity or other mainstream religious thought. The aim was to avoid offending those with other views.

(This does not imply teachers themselves lack morals or integrity.)

Each of us needs to be informed so we can form our own thoughtful judgments

This requires us to find factual information for ourselves. Start by spending some time on your computer and reading a variety of material and opinion for yourself.

Another "hot topic" in the news is The 1619 Project, but many of us remain hazy about the subject.

As usually presented, this Project dates the beginning of this Nation back to 1619. That's when the first European settlers set foot on these shores, bringing their African slaves with them. (Slavery was common practice in many parts of the world.)

Obviously, this predates December 18, 1620, when the ship Mayflower anchored in the harbor at Plymouth Rock, Connecticut, bringing the Pilgrims. They left Europe in order to found a colony where they could worship God as they saw fit.

A different view of the Revolutionary War

Proponents of The 1619 Project believe this War was fought not as a battle to win freedom from British control. Rather, the aim was to increase and preserve slavery in what later became the United States of America.

Already many schools are evaluating and/or changing over to this new view of history. Textbooks and curriculum materials likely will incorporate parts or all of this 1619 Project tenets. Some schools will do a complete switchover. Others will incorporate parts of it into what's taught.

Some educators believe before long this new curriculum will supplant traditional teaching of U.S. history at most public schools.

A unique aspect of The 1619 Project

This Project maintains the real reason white slave-owners chose to settle this land was to establish and expand slavery of blacks so as to build their individual wealth.

This means people with white or lighter skin have enslaved and discriminated against people with darker skin from before the beginning of this Nation and that individuals of color were–and still are–oppressed. Those with white skin were oppressors–and that continues to this day.

Furthermore, proponents believe that skin color determines one's life. For life. They maintain it is vital to teach this thinking so that all students develop compassion.

People who don't agree ask, "How can it be helpful to imprint the idea on school kids that the color of their skin determines what kind of life and what kind of future they can have? Ever? How is this not another form of racism?"

Take note of gender issues

You probably know that in many public schools, "gender identity" now is considered more a matter of preference than of body parts.

Personal pronouns count. Some schools outlaw the use of personal pronouns (i.e., he, she, his, hers) altogether, considering them "discriminatory." The approved substitution is "they," "them," and "their." (New textbooks may reflect this policy.)

Starting from Pre-K on up, teachers in some schools may ask students, "Which do you feel like today, a girl or a boy?" If the child's answer differs from the obvious, they will be asked what name they prefer to be called by today. During that day the child only answers to–and can only be called by–that name.

Some schools allow students to dress according to their gender identity of the day. Some allow kids to use the restroom(s) and showers that match the gender the child has chosen for the day. (Note: In some public schools, restrooms and locker rooms may already be unisex.)

To know about your local school(s,) ask

Any resident has the legal right to examine textbooks, teachers' lesson plans, etc., and whatever materials will be used in the classroom. Just go to the school and ask politely to examine the curriculum and teachers' lesson plans.

You also have the right to courteously ask school authorities about current practice(s) in the schools your children attend.

Be sure to allot yourself ample time so you clearly understand your children's school(s) and policies in use at each one. Ask questions and take notes. Get to know your school board members and attend school board meetings, not to argue but to understand. In most school districts, Board members are the bottom line.

Curriculum and school policy set the tone–and often the limits–for what teachers can say and what they can teach. Teachers and class studies influence the attitude of students over time. What kids and teens absorb today inevitably will have impact way beyond the classroom.

All this means these issues need to matter to every one of us, with or without children.

Changes in thinking happen little by little

Children learn attitudes in all kinds of ways. (So do we all.)

It's not enough to rely for information on talking heads in the media. That very well may be opinion and not even close to the truth of your local schools.

Local citizenry staying informed is essential because once a curriculum or a philosophy is adopted in a school or school system, it's hard to change. That's step one.

Step two is to speak our well-considered opinions, reasonably and calmly, when the subject comes up in everyday conversation.

Don't forget to pray

Only God knows how any of this will shake out in our society and what the future impact will be.

We are called to be faithful in how we raise our children and to be aware of current events, knowing that God always has the last word.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21 NIV

Let's pray HE will be in the midst of every discussion, every decision and every classroom.

And now may God, who gives us his peace, be with you all. Amen Romans 15:33 NLT

Lenore

Why what’s being taught in our schools matters to ALL of us

November 3, 2022
After all, it dates back over centuries. How could the Bible still be relevant today?

This may sound like a logical question to many. I got a lesson in the "how" of it when my husband got a job promotion that kept the man I loved smiling from morning to night. Why wouldn't he? For years he had studied and taken extra training to move him toward that goal.

I rejoiced for him, truly I did, but I loved the place we were living. The place where I had established an identity and enjoyed interacting with other writers in the area.

We talked but managed to skirt around this touchy subject. I asked myself what would it accomplish to complain and rob him of his joy? I knew the answer: Nothing good.

Somehow, some way I would learn to love this new place.

Once we moved into our new digs my husband settled into his position as if it were tailored just for him. Morning to evening he was engrossed and energized.

Each day I watched his car fade from sight, then asked myself, Now what?

No answers came, but I clung to what I knew: Our loving God would not bless my husband and leave me, his wife, abandoned. I would wait.

"Be still and know that I am God …" Psalm 46:10 NIV

Finding my place

A month or two later I learned of the local chapter of the same Bible study a friend "back home" had often praised. Because I always wished I had her excitement about the Bible I decided to give it a try.

The next week I went to orientation and signed up. The teaching leader addressed the large audience of class members and us newbies, explaining the day's lesson based on Exodus, including Chapters 13 to 16.

She began with how God delivered the children of Israel from slavery

He parted the Red Sea and brought them across on dry land, a miracle for sure. Freedom! Yet soon they grumbled and complained against God's provision for them as they wandered in the wilderness.

Then she looked out at us and it seemed she looked directly at me. "Are you wandering around in a dry, dusty wilderness of your own making?"

At once I knew that I was! I was!

Then she moved on to how the children of Israel yearned for the abundant meats and fresh produce back in Egypt–where they had been slaves. Our merciful God provided fresh, bountiful supplies of Manna and quail for each day, yet in no time they started griping about being tired of the same old, same old.

With her next question once again it seemed the leader fixed her gaze on me. "Are you murmuring against God's provision for you because it doesn't live up to your specifications?"

My heart started pounding. Immediately I knew the Holy Spirit had just spoken truth to my heart and mind through that stranger. I saw clearly that God moved us to that place for my husband, yes, but also for me.

Don't ask me how I knew. I just did.

I drove home asking God to forgive me for my weeks of self-centeredness. When my husband came home I asked his forgiveness, too, but that darling man shushed me and folded me into his love. Finally, he had his wife back.

From then on I read the Bible with new eyes

Now I knew firsthand the truth of Hebrews 4:12: "The word of God is living and active …" God's living Word spoke to me and changed me. For life.

Since then whenever I read the Bible I look for:

What do these verses say? What do they say to me?

What can I learn from this account, from these individuals, on ways to live–or not live?

What principles can I use in my life? Right now?

What's my takeaway?

Often these truths pop out at me. Other times I need to be quiet and ponder awhile, waiting for what comes to mind.

Or I think I know what a verse means and then find some new facet that's useful for my life.

One thing is sure. I never come away empty. God's Holy Spirit makes sure of that.

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.   Romans 8:26 ESV

No worries about "doing it right"

It's no more complicated than this: Relax and be still.

All it takes is that we make the time and ask God the Holy Spirit to give us teachable hearts, to open the Word to our understanding and to reveal his Truth. Take a few notes–or don't. Then chew on what you've read throughout the day.

As for being in a Bible study group what's good is that we all learn from each other as we share how the Lord works in our lives. It can be the setting for sharing prayer needs and growing friendships, as well.

All Scripture is inspired by God is and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. 2 Timothy 3:16 NLT

Always, always, always, it helps to remind ourselves that as God's children through faith in Jesus, HE is with us and guiding us.

The surprise at the end

God did have a purpose for me in that move. I stayed in the Bible study and became a group leader, where I found new meaning and made friends. Two and one-half years later my husband received another promotion. Once again I knew it fit him exactly right and once again, I regretted leaving behind what I had grown to love.

This time I knew from experience that whatever God provided for my husband would also turn out to be right for me.

God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. 1 Corinthians 1:9 ESV

Still learning,

Lenore
Does the Bible still matter in our time?

October 25, 2022
We seldom think about the messages we send the world, but we should.

I got a shocking reminder of that truth one day when I was out shopping. A smiling white-haired lady who looked a bit like my late grandmother put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Aw, Honey, it can't be that bad."

I stared at her in confusion and said, "Excuse me? I don't know what you mean."

Eyes twinkling, she smiled and said, "Well, I noticed you look like you lost your last friend. I just want you to know whatever the trouble is, you'll get through it and it helps to smile. That's all.

"Now you take care of yourself, Sweetie. Whatever's going on with you, it's just life. Sometimes life is hard, but you can do hard, I know you can. You'll be okay."

I thanked her for caring, still mystified.

Then I passed a mirror–and stopped short. She was right. I did look grim.

Do you ever do that?

That day I realized I probably wore that face more often than I knew. Whether I label it "concentration" or "preoccupied," that face was not a good idea.

First, because pinching up one's face leads to (gasp!) wrinkles.

Second, because what people read on our faces affects their moods.

Third, because if we say we have the joy and peace of Jesus, we'd better look as if we do. Otherwise our words of faith sound empty.

Fourth–and just as important–it's not fair to the people in our world.

As someone said, we owe the world a happy face

Why? Because you and I affect the people around us. Our families. Our co-workers. Strangers in stores.

Each of them is walking around and dealing with their lives and their problems, which may be all they can manage at the moment. Why should they have to dredge up strength to keep from "catching" our bad moods?

If you're a mom or dad you probably know that when we parents crackle with tension our kids walk on tiptoe around us.

And if we live in Tension City our children pattern the behavior as the way to live. Our uptight way of coping with life becomes their "normal."

Yes, but "Nobody knows the trouble I seen . . . "

That old spiritual speaks truth, doesn't it? No one can know or feel exactly what another person is living with. As the song says, nobody knows our hurt and pain but Jesus, who says:

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 ESV

"Heavy laden." Don't we feel that way sometimes?

The NIV translates that verse:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Whether we're feeling overworked and over-stressed, weighed down by cares or stuck in a situation we cannot change, He can give us rest.

It's the only rest that lasts.

Eight hours of sleep or a nap refreshes temporarily, but deep-down rest for our hearts can be found only one place. In Jesus.

Life. It will wear us down, but Jesus lifts us up. Always.

The key is to turn our thoughts and our hearts to Him instead of getting mired in the problem-of-the-moment.

He's the One who carries us through each day on His shoulders, who turns our mourning into dancing.

(Jesus said) "I have said these things to you that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 ESV

If we keep our eyes on Him we can be at peace, even during the hard times–and our faces will show it.

As that kindly lady in the store put it, "Whatever's going on with you, it's just life. Sometimes life is hard, but you can do hard, I know you can."

My friend, you can do hard, I know you can.

I wish you peace and joy in Jesus, today and every day,

Lenore
Be careful what your facial expression broadcasts

October 17, 2022
Just as Rome wasn't built in a day or two, neither is a marriage.

Every marriage partner longs to have a happy marriage. But how?

When my husband and I married we were crazy in love and we trusted God, so it seemed logical to expect that every day would be pure joy. After all, what more could it take?

Then came babies.

And bills.

And life.

It shouldn't have surprised us that we two opposite personality types experienced occasional times of strain.

Yet, somehow they did.

Blame it on those pesky dailies of life

We loved each other and our children dearly and yet ….

Over time the daily grind seemed to be grinding me down. Eventually I lapsed into "Dear Abby" wails:

"We don't communicate. You never talk to me anymore."

"You never listen to anything I say. You nod your head, but you tune me out."

"We never go anywhere alone. We need a regular date night."

Etc. (Don't miss how often I said "never." Not true, of course.)

My agreeable husband would say, "Sure," and we'd try this idea and then that. For a day or a week or a month.

Then we would settle back into our old routine.

A graph of our marriage would have shown off-the-chart happiness highs, as well as low times of feeling distant. We knew real life gets in the way of living out an all-smiles romance movie life. All along we both knew our marriage was above-average good.

Nevertheless, I couldn't help longing for a bit more, um, excitement. (Did I mention I'm a romantic?)

To be clear, I never wanted out of my marriage. I guess I just expected it to fill my every need.

Finding out it's not about me

I got my eyes opened in a women's Bible study group. We always began by sharing our needs and praying for each other, feeling safe because every week we all pledged to maintain confidentiality.

One day "Sue" tearfully voiced her heartache about struggles in her marriage.

Then "Laura," an older woman, said, "Don't give up. I know from experience that God can make all things new. For years my husband and I had a solid, ho-hum marriage, but I wanted more. Over time God transformed our marriage."

By then the room was so still we could hear our breathing.

"I always knew God could make our marriage better–if He chose–so every day I prayed. And prayed. And kept imploring God to change the man I married and make him the husband of my dreams.

"One day I heard the Lord's still, small voice within me asking, 'What about you?'

"All at once I felt tears running down my cheeks

"I can't say how, but right away I understood I had become way too self-absorbed. I fell into the habit of overlooking my husband's many good qualities and fastening only on what I needed. That day I confessed to God how I wasted months, even years, feeling sorry for myself.

"Finally I prayed, 'Thank you, Lord, for my husband, who loves me. Please make me the wife he needs me to be.'

"This became my daily prayer."

Laura went on, "When my husband came home from work he had a different wife. One who grabbed him and told him over and over how much she loved him.

"I didn't stop there. I made it a habit to tell him at least once a day that I appreciated him. Instead of griping I praised the good in him. It wasn't long before he responded by becoming more loving and thoughtful toward me, too.

"It wasn't me, it was God at work in our marriage–and in me.

"Now I can honestly say I have the marriage I always wanted and we've never been happier together."

Because one woman risked being honest and sharing her story of God's faithfulness, none of us left the same as we were when we came. In the weeks that followed other women told their stories of how God changed them–and their marriages.

By no coincidence we were studying Matthew 7

The day when Laura opened up I drove home with verse 7 drumming in my mind:

(Jesus said) "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"

I couldn't hide from the truth: I had been living with a plank in my eye.

That day I resolved to follow my friend's example and prayed that same prayer.

I confess it felt scary, as if I would "lose" something, maybe become a doormat.

That never happened. Instead my husband's and my marriage relationship became richer and we grew closer. Deeper. Each of us knew the peace and confidence that grew out of being married to our best friend and supporter.

It's all about loving your neighbor

Jesus said in Mark 12:30-31:

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength … The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." NIV

Remember, there's no closer "neighbor" than your spouse.

Jesus also said in Luke 6:31:

"Do to others as you would have them do to you." NIV

That sounds simple, doesn't it? But it does not imply living our faith at home is easy.

How could it be? Our society is me-centered and so is our human nature. By contrast, marriage involves two, plus their children.

Christian living and loving means putting the other(s) first. The mystery in marriage is that this kind of love does not diminish oneself–or each other. Rather, it frees each one to blossom and grow stronger.

Consider it the way to live, because it does indeed put more joy into our lives.

Let's do it, friends!

Lenore
How to put more joy in your marriage

October 8, 2022
WATCH OUT! DISASTER IS COMING YOUR WAY!

Variations on that theme run through every talk show and every news report. Whether it's the latest COVID variant or inflation or the weather, it sounds like everything is bad and getting worse.

Many of us might nod in agreement.

This keeps us running scared and feeling unsettled. We're living out the old cliché, "Waiting for the other shoe to drop," because no one knows what comes next.

Or perhaps what troubles you and wakes you with a racing heart has nothing to do with any headline news. It's way deeper, down to your core. Maybe you can't even remember when the haunting started.

This brings the question: Is it possible to maintain a calm center, no matter what comes?

That's our job as grownups, isn't it? Especially if we're Christians.

Sure, but how?

How do we ditch living in fear? Whatever our challenge, it's always wise to begin with the basics: principles that are true, no matter who we are or what the situation.

Be watchful, yes, but fearful, no

Focus our attention on facts, not rumors, nor on the endless "what ifs"

Do our best to live healthy by eating right and getting plenty of sleep

"Think health" instead of "thinking sick"

Speak peace instead of fear, knowing each time we do we reinforce the peace within us

These simple things make sense 365 days of any year and we have power to carry them out right where we are.

Yes, but … that doesn't sound like enough

I know. When we're feeling shaky inside and can't get to sleep at night we want something tangible. Authoritative. Something we can hold onto.

The truth is, calm that won't quit never comes from "out there." A government official or an "expert" with a string of degrees or even our trusted long-time doctor saying, "Don't worry," only quiets fear for a few hours.

That's because we know the truth: Like us, they're only human and they only know what they know … so far.

We want more. We need more.

So where does that leave us?

How do we shed this deep-down fear that weighs us down?

The "more" we seek comes from within. Each of us constantly fills our minds and hearts with something–and we get to choose what it is. This dictates our day-by-day question:

Will we feed the fear or feed the peace?

It takes no effort to stoke uneasiness. All we have to do is look and listen.

To nurture inner peace costs us something. I'm not talking yoga or meditation or any of those self-help relaxation practices. As useful as they may be, they don't fear-proof our hearts for long.

(How do I know? Over the years I've tried several of those methods.)

Here's what I learned from dealing with my own "hard stuff"

First I had to gather up all the tormenting "what ifs" and stuff them into a box in the attic of my mind. (Yes, they kept creeping out but if I persisted, gradually they stayed put. At least most of the time.)

All day, every day I need to remember who I am. I am loved by God, simply because I believe in Jesus as my Savior. Period. That's what the Bible calls "grace."

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God–not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV

Did I pray? Of course, and God always, always, always gave me strength and courage to face whatever came.

I drew courage from the Bible, too

For years I have underlined verses that touched my heart and spoke to my spirit. I also jotted down brief references on the blank pages at the back, in case I forget where they are. (These days I also have the Bible on my smartphone and often list my notes there.)

Bible verses like these:

The Lord will keep you from all harm–he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. Psalm 121:7 NIV

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. …   Psalm 56:3-4 NIV

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 NIV

(The Lord said to Joshua)  "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 NIV

(Jesus said) "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27 NIV

As time goes by you will discover verses to add to that list

Look for verses that touch your heart because they speak faith and reassurance. Keep them at the ready for whenever you feel fainthearted about your life or about the future.

Let's be clear about one thing. We Christians do not remember and speak Bible verses as some sort of magic charm. Rather, those times when we quake in fear–whatever the reason(s)–such verses remind us who is really in charge and has the power to help us:

"For I am the LORD your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13 NIV

He is speaking to you, my friend, and to me. In every occasion or dark corner of fear that comes upon us, now or in the future. We are not alone.

What more could we ask?

Thanking God with you,

Lenore
How to shed the fear that keeps crowding in

October 1, 2022
No doubt about it, a frog is an unlikely life coach. And yet …

Why not set aside your logic for a few minutes and enjoy a modern fable? (Original source unknown)

Once upon a time some frogs arranged a competition to see which one could make it to the top of the highest tower in the land.

Everyone with good sense hooted because, how far could an ordinary frog expect to climb? Nevertheless, a big crowd gathered on the appointed day to watch these hoppers make fools of themselves.

Once the race got underway the onlookers got excited. Young and old jumped up and down and cheered loudly.

(Or jeered, just as loudly.)

An old-timer said, "Any fool knows this is impossible. In the first place, it's a silly idea. Everybody knows frogs are made for jumping, not for climbing."

Someone else said, "You can barely see the top of that tower. They will never make it to the top. Even the strongest frog could do that!"

Soon some of the smaller climbers gave up, exhausted. Before long others started dropping out. Only a few of the more determined kept climbing.

All along the crowd kept hollering, "It's too much! You'll never make it! If you keep on you'll have a heat stroke for sure!"

One by one, more frogs dropped out and gave up trying.

Yet one kept going

The lone adventurer inched his way higher and higher, panting hard. The crowd down below grew silent, each one holding their breath and whispering to each other, "How can this be? Everybody knows that loser never won a race in his life."

At last the "loser" frog stood at the very top. Then he sat down on a ledge to rest, relishing the view from up high.

By now everyone was cheering and clapping, including the skeptics. Even the frogs who dropped out along the way couldn't help themselves. They clapped, too.

After awhile the winning frog started his descent, pausing every so often to look around and wave and smile.

Once the winner reached solid ground the clamoring crowd surrounded him, many patting him on the back and saying, "I knew you could do it!"

Just then a reporter from KFRG-TV pushed his way through

He thrust a microphone in front of the winner.

"Congratulations, Mr. Frog! This is quite a feat and we want to feature you on tonight's Evening News. Earlier on we heard some people yelling that this tower was too high and you could never make it. A few told me you were out of your league. Nobody remembered a single time you competed in anything before this race.

"Yet you signed up and you didn't give up. What kept you going all the way to the top?

The winner thought a minute before he answered.

"Well, somehow I really believed I could do it and it felt right. So I made up my mine no matter what anyone said, I wouldn't let it bother me. I just glued my eyes and my attention on where I wanted to go.

And the moral of the story is …

Every now and then we run into a discouraging time in our lives or someone we love has problems. Try as we might to say the right thing, all our words come out wrong. Our regrets and second-guessings yammer at us when we try to sleep.

Or we can get caught up in in the world around us, the endless warnings and forecasts of hard times ahead. What will become of us? Anxiety threatens to eat us up.

There's no better time to be like that frog and ignore any voices that would drag us down.

P.S. for believers …

As we run our race, we keep our eyes on the One who said:

"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

One more thing

What we say–to ourselves or to others–matters. Words have power. Words can lift and inspire.

Words also can crush egos and flatten dreams.

The tongue has the power of life and death… Proverbs 18:21

Whether we're speaking to ourselves or to another person, we get to choose our words.

Every. Single. Time.

So let's choose wisely.

And this is no fable,

Lenore

Fearless frog reveals winning strategy

September 24, 2022
If we conducted a poll it's a safe bet that a lot of people, all ages, believe the more money a person has, the happier they will be.

Hmm. If that were true, wouldn't all the "rich and famous" folks have perfect marriages and happy, well-adjusted children?

Every day the news reports give examples of how that is far from the truth.

Some counselors say it helps us keep on track to to ask ourselves every so often, "What do I value most? And how about my children?"

As always, it comes down to perspective

I couldn't help hearing parts of the conversation of two men in a waiting area. I still remember the main points of what they said. It went something like this.

They seemed comfortable with each other, one older man and one much younger. The younger man said, "Silvie and I met when we were full-time college students and working part-time jobs. She got her diploma a year ago and found a job that pays well, which was a godsend.

"When our daughter was born it seemed best for me to be a stay-at-home dad for awhile–and I'm loving it.

"Now I'm taking the rest of my college classes at night and online, so it will take me longer to get my degree. If you said we're broke you'd be right, but we're happy."

The older man laughed and said, "Hey, that's the way it's supposed to be when you're starting out, Kyle. How did you get so wise?"

Father knows best

Kyle took time to think, then said, "Well, a long time ago my dad gave me advice he guaranteed would help make for a happy marriage.

"He said my wife and I should always make sure we could get by on one income. That way if one of us couldn't work, we'd still have enough. Ellie and I talked about that and she said 'Okay, let's try it.'

"So that's what we're doing. We don't have a huge flat-screen TV, just the one my folks passed on when they upgraded to a bigger set. Our furniture is from Goodwill and hand-me-downs. We drive an old clunker and our cell phones are dinosaurs.

"But you know what? Neither of us would trade places with anybody. We're paying our bills and putting a few dollars into savings every month. We're working our plan and we're doing what matters to us. Our love is strong and we have each other and now, our healthy daughter too. Life is good."

As they got up to leave I heard the older man say, "You probably already know that your dad was a very wise man, my friend. And good for you, you know you are blessed. Not everyone does. "

Some of us can identify with that young dad

My husband and I married when we were very young and crazy in love. We were so happy to be together that nothing else mattered. For years we lived pretty much a no-frills lifestyle. I wouldn't say we "lived on love," but money was tight.

Who cared? We were together and life was good.

In those years we discovered what's been proven true over and over: Riches have nothing to do with money.

Earlier generations understood that

When I was a kid money was always tight, so my parents became experts in stretching it. I don't remember them complaining much. Nor do I recall them ever quoting wise words on being content, other than in family devotions. Then we might talk about Bible verses like 1 Timothy 6:8:

And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. NKJV

I didn't realize it then but Mom and Dad lived that verse most of the time. Their attitude seemed to be: "This the life God has given us, so let's make the most of it."

And they did, in simple ways. For example, one constant in my childhood was that no matter how often we moved, my dad planted seeds of blue morning glories in each yard. They twined gloriously up the clothesline poles. We always had all kinds of flowers along the yard fence, too.

My parents trusted God to provide and He did.

I wish I could say that I never complained, but I did, especially as a teenage girl. I wanted what "everyone else" had, knowing all the while that would never happen.

When I look back I know we were rich in what matters most

We kids knew for sure was that our mom and dad loved each other and they loved us–even though they seldom said the words. (Neither did any other parents of that era.)

We might not like what they said but we never doubted they were speaking truth, either to us or to others.

We never wondered whether one parent or the other would walk out on us.

As always, how we think makes all the difference

By now I've learned that life gets even better when we know we're blessed and remember to thank the Giver.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. Psalm 118:1

With that firmly fixed in our minds, life will be good, no matter what our circumstances.

Always, true wealth is a matter of the heart. We just need to remind ourselves often of that truth–and be at peace.

Thanks be that God, the Giver of all things, has patience with his often-forgetful children. Like me.

Warmly,

Lenore

What’s your definition of having “enough” money?

September 1, 2022
Some time ago I wondered aloud to a wise friend about what makes each of us–and our kids–tick?

Her "Mayberry" answer came quickly. "Well, nobody does nuthin' for nuthin'–even kids."

Was that poor grammar? Sure, but don't miss the truth of it.  Every one of us, no matter our age, always has a reason for what we do–even when we don't admit it to ourselves:

We expect to get some kind of payoff

If you want to see that principle lived out, simply observe a young child in action.

Nobody has to teach youngsters how to go after what they want. They're experts at it. After all, they have lots of time to study the grownups around them and figure out what works.

I watched one skilled practitioner in The Art of Getting What I Want the day I was stuck in the returns line of a local store behind a mom and her daughter, age 4 or 5.

The bored little girl announced she wanted a toy perched atop the "Put Back" cart.

Mommy says "No," so the child begs and gets refused each time. Then she throws a classic hissy fit.

Mommy stands firm: "No! You heard me. No!"

Little Darling screams, "But I WANT it!"

Mommy refuses to budge, so out come the tears and wails. Still no results.

Then comes the charm blitz. Sobbing, the preschooler sidles up to her mother and hangs on to her leg. "P-l-e-a-s-e, Mommy, Darling? Pretty please with sugar on it?"

Mommy sighs, then says to the clerk in a resigned tone, "Just add it to the other stuff. Okay?"

Turning to her daughter, she says, "Now this is absolutely the last time! Do you hear me?"

At which this small master manipulator flashes a big grin to all of us, then skips around in circles until Mommy finishes.

Tactics become more subtle by adolescence and adulthood

Over the years we become more careful and diplomatic but we still do what we do for some kind of reward:

To get what we want–or to get our own way

Because we like the feeling of "winning"

To make us look good in someone's eyes

Because we hope it will strengthen a relationship

We believe in what we're doing. Whatever the cost, we think the end result will be worth what we put into it

Motivation toward a goal or benefit is not wrong, it's just part of being human. To keep this principle in the back of our minds helps us to understand ourselves and others.

If this sounds new and strange to you just let it simmer in the back of your mind. Some time later you may replay recent interactions with other people. You may have an aha moment and gain new clarity into an interaction that puzzled you.

Self-honesty is hard, I know, but take it to the bank: Always, always, always, there is some kind of benefit in what we do–even if it's just self-satisfaction.

For some, a negative payoff can feel "right"

Perhaps you worry about someone who over and over seems to fall for a person who doesn't treat them well. You and everyone who cares remain baffled as to why.

Or you may know an individual who repeatedly starts afresh and seems on the way to succeeding. Then this person messes up and has to start over, again and again and again.

Why?

Counselors say it often traces back to messages they picked up as children such as: "You're no good." "You'll never make anything of yourself. You're a loser." "You're such a disappointment to me."

These individuals may unconsciously sabotage their efforts in order to make those predictions work. For them failure feels like a kind of success because it reinforces what they've always "known" about themselves. "A-ha! I always knew I was a loser and didn't deserve to be happy."

Once again they settle back into familiar territory. It's what they've always known of themselves and feels somehow comfortable.

What about the rest of us?

It's not childish to want and need some kind of reward, but we don't always get it. Then what do we do?

Ever thrown a pity party for yourself and decided comfort could be found in a hot fudge sundae, even though you were on a diet?

Ever nursed the feeling you do everything for everybody, but no one even notices? One day you come home with shopping bags–for yourself–and wonder why.

Ever picked a fight with your husband (or wife) just to get some kind of attention because you were tired of them being wrapped up in their stuff and ignoring you?

We're more like kids than we want to admit.

Finding a better way

We human beings never will have absolutely pure motives. As the Bible tells us, we are sinners, flawed and imperfect:

As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one; Romans 3:10

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8

But God didn't leave us there.

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. Romans 5:1-2

We remain fully human and we fail even ourselves, but we don't have to drag around a load of guilt. Because we're forgiven in Jesus we can leave our messes at His cross and be free of old, negative patterns. Because we belong to Jesus we are secure in God's love.

Now that's somethin' that really means somethin'!

Rejoicing with you,

Lenore
Here’s a help in understanding people

August 19, 2022
Have you ever been stuck in a mindset that kept you feeling you were slogging through life?

Been there, done that.

That's where I was when I gave up a long-ago Saturday morning to go hear a speaker I knew nothing about except what the ad told me. (What's more, I paid for the privilege.)

Right on time this "famous expert on mental health" bounded to the front of the large hotel meeting room as the one-hundred or so of us, a mixed group of all ages, sat waiting for our promised "transformation".

Our speaker bounded onstage with a smile and briefly introduced himself. Then he said, "I have great news for every one of you and here it is: "God. Don't. Make. No. Junk!"

(My first thought was, "What is this? Did I sign up for two hours of being yelled at?)

Then he switched techniques. He whispered, then spoke, then once again shouted these same five words at us, apparently to hammer home his point.

Every time he spoke on another facet of his theme, often including Bible verses, he would wind up with this:

"God don't make no junk! Say it with me now: 'God. Don't. Make. No. Junk!'"

By the last time it seemed everyone in that auditorium was yelling it back at him

I long ago forgot his name, but I never forgot his five-word slogan.

After he finished I watched as the crowd thinned, curious to know what others thought about our intense morning. Their faces telegraphed that most of them shared my mood. I hadn't found our speaker particularly impressive, yet I felt lifted up and at peace.

As I drove home I found myself repeating those five one-syllable words over and over: God. Don't. Make. No. Junk!

Sure, it was the mood of the moment. But I already believed the truth of those words before I walked into the place because I believe what Bible verses like this tell me.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he [or she] is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. –2 Corinthians 5:17

That includes every person who believes in Jesus Christ. Every person.

Sometimes we all feel like "junk," don't we?

Unworthy. Unlovable. Lonely.

It's not a new phenomenon that a lot of kids and teens suffer with this perception.

We may assume that today's youngsters and teens are super self-assured and intelligent because they appear so confident. More often than we might guess that's a mask they put on around the rest of the world–even loving parents, teachers and friends.

Inside they may feel like junk when they struggle in school or in personal relationships and be yearning for someone who will see them and love them.

Unfortunately, often we adults don't help much. We're inclined to nag about grades and homework. Especially with teens we keep asking how do they expect to make it into college if they don't get it together?

(Have we ever had a caring conversation and let them talk? Maybe they don't want to go to college … )

We fall into the same trap with others we care about

We zero in on every little thing that isn't quite right–and point it out. Then we revisit the complaint(s) every chance we get. Too often we broaden out to remind them of every mistake they ever made, no matter how long ago.

We're like those radar-guided missiles that never deviate from their target.

It's good to remember that hearing those same old, same old painful messages can quickly carve deep grooves in a person's self-esteem.

We're human, so we forget. That's why we need to remind ourselves that always, we get to choose.

You and I can't change the world, but we can make our own world better

A good place to start is by fastening our attention on what's right in the people around us–and telling them. Often.

Let's keep our eyes open for when they do something right, then say so.

This practice serves as great reinforcement with parenting and training our children, too. Catch them doing what's right and say so!

The glow on their faces will tell us that speaking honest words of love and appreciation is what they want most. At any age.

Start small, even the smallest thing for which you can honestly give them a pat on the back. If you can't find anything, look harder.

Don't we all long for encouragement?

That's what it is when someone important to us gives us a pat on the back.

That's why these five words still make a good slogan. For any age. And for ourselves:

God. Don't. Make. No. Junk!

Anytime we're feeling "junky," it's easy to go back and read these glorious words:

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made …    -Psalm 139:14

That's true even on our worst days, because God. Don't. Make. No. Junk!

Wishing you joy in living,

Lenore

A message for all times: “God. Don’t. Make. No. Junk!”

July 20, 2022