Category: Mothering

Sometimes a chance conversation teaches us a lot. Like the day a friend talked about her childhood.

"Our family was poor when I was growing up," she said, "but I never knew it.

"I remember the year Dad was out of work. Mom suddenly announced she was really tired of fixing turkey every Thanksgiving and announced our First Annual Rice and Beans Festival.

"We kids made silly paper hats out of grocery bags. Mom dug up some old candles and sent us out to pick up pretty leaves to decorate the table. Before we ate we went around the table and each of us, even my bratty brother, said our own thank-you prayer.

"Guess we kids forgot we didn't much like rice and beans because we stuffed ourselves. After dinner we had a contest to see how many blessings we could name, then played games.

"We all still talk of that as the best Thanksgiving ever.

"Friday nights were special, too. We always had popcorn and Kool-Aid. Then we'd sit around and watch TV together or play games. I know now that's all we could afford, but as a child it felt like a party every week.

"Whenever the power went out, Dad would clap his hands and say, 'Let's celebrate!'

"He'd light candles while Mom made peanut butter sandwiches. Then he'd spread out an old blanket and we'd sit in a circle, like around a campfire. We'd sing camp songs and one of us would make up a funny story, then the next one in the circle would have to keep it going.

"We had so many good times, so much laughing–small wonder I thought we must be rich. My parents simply knew how to make the most of every little thing.

"I hate to admit it, but my husband and I and our kids have a lot more stuff now than my parents ever did and we never celebrate any of it."

+++++++

That conversation stayed in my mind for a long time. Obviously, her parents were super-gifted with a thankful spirit. They have a lot to teach . . . me.

A lovely old hymn speaks truth to my heart. How about yours?

For The Beauty Of The Earth

For the beauty of the earth,

For the beauty of the skies,

For the love which from our birth

Over and around us lies,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our grateful hymn of praise.

For the beauty of each hour

Of the day and of the night,

Hill and vale, and tree and flower,

Sun and moon and stars of light,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our grateful hymn of praise.

For the joy of human love,

Brother, sister, parent, child,

Friends on earth, and friends above,

Pleasures pure and undefiled,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our grateful hymn of praise.

Blessings to you, my friend, at Thanksgiving and every day,

Lenore

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November 21, 2013
You probably heard about the Utah coach who suspended his entire football team a week before their big homecoming game.

Coach Matt Labrum had known players were being disciplined for being disrespectful and skipping classes. When some were accused of cyberbullying, it was the last straw.

He decided his Union High team needed a wake-up call.

Labrum told all 80 players they were suspended and to turn in their jerseys. The new emphasis would be on building character and only those who earned the privilege to play would make the team.

He describes it as "an emotional moment on all sides."

Coach Labrum told the Deseret News, "We need to focus on some other things that are more important than winning a football game."

The players got the message. The next day, Saturday, at 7 a.m., all players turned up at Roosevelt Union High, as directed. Labrum explained that to earn their way back they'd need to perform community service. Practice hours would be devoted to character classes.

Right away the players dug in, cleaning up streets, pulling weeds and volunteering at local senior centers. At Monday's character class players were instructed to list their personal character weaknesses–and did.

Several said they now realize it's a privilege to wear their uniforms and represent their school. Senior running back Gavin Nielsen said, "This helped me realize, it's not all about football."

Thumbs up for parents and the community for supporting the coach. And yes, the team will play in that homecoming game.

Like a wise parent, Coach Labrum provided "tough love" along with tender love

Real life is more than football, too. More than winning awards. More than appearance or talent or cleverness or being an honor student. More than getting into the "best" colleges or making a lot of money.

Parents brag about these things, but they're not what matter most.

Otherwise we wouldn't see a steady news parade of individuals with "all the advantages" who are a mess, living out empty lives.

How do we help our kids develop right attitudes?

It starts with helping our kids grow strong from the inside out. Strong enough to make it through life even when they're away from us.

Strong enough to do the right thing, even when everyone else is doing wrong.

It takes loving them with our whole hearts. That's the easy part. The hard part is setting clear limits–and enforcing them. Every time.

Keeping that balance often feels like trying to walk a tightrope and know we need help. We'll find it if we ask. No fancy words needed. A simple, "Help me, Lord, please," is quite enough.

The sooner we start, the better. If we follow through every time, our kids soon figure out Mommy means business and they may as well obey the first time.

Finding our way through

Our call as moms is to help our children grow into people ready to live without us. That often feels like two steps forward and one step back.

It's not all about us.

A solid base of faith and being involved in a strong church which teaches Bible Truth can make all the difference. Here we'll make friends among people who share our values. So will our kids.

Children who know Jesus loves them feel more secure in a harsh world. Knowing their Best Friend is always with them is way better than a cuddly teddy bear.

As youngsters grow into adolescence hanging with Christian kids who support them in making right choices can aid our teens in staying on-track.

The Bottom Line

Being a parent takes all we have and then some. We walk in faith and pray every step of the way.

I used to think that meant I was weak.

Now I know it's exactly the right position to be in.

Lovingly,

Lenore

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September 27, 2013
When sweet, wholesome Hannah Montana becomes Miley Cyrus, what's a mother to do?

If you've been anywhere near a TV or your computer, you couldn't escape seeing shots of Miley Cyrus' performance at the MTV awards show. By all reports it was the opposite of sweet and wholesome.

For years hordes of young girls adored squeaky clean Hannah Montana and so did their moms. So when squealing girls clamored for Hannah Montana lunch boxes and T shirts and all manner of clothing items and accessories moms and dads gladly shelled out hard-earned cash.

What happened, anyway?

First, Miley Cyrus is not the first Hollywood type to disappoint and I'm pretty sure she won't be the last. She craved attention and she got it.

Second, actors act, remember? Hannah Montana was a character created by script writers and carefully maintained by the "Hannah Montana Industry."

Since we can't ignore this, why not seize upon it?

Instead of panic, why not use this for good?

Assume your kids have seen Miley's MTV performance, or at least bits of it, even if they haven't mentioned it.

Remind them that most of what we watch on-screen is acting, or at least, people reading from a script using a teleprompter.

Anyone who ever watched a filming knows contestants are instructed to be entertaining that is, loud. Even audience members clap and cheer when told to.

From now on your kids will be less gullible viewers of TV and movies. That's a good thing.

Star role models have only temporary clout

Researchers frequently interview teenagers and college students, asking who in their lives has been their greatest and most lasting influence.

Results never vary. By an overwhelming majority young people name their mothers and/or their fathers.

Let this sink in deep: You are your children's role model. For life.

Even if they argue with you. Even when they seem to reject everything you say to them. Even though they tell you they can't wait to leave home.

Sometimes that's hard to remember when our child wanders off on a tangent that may last awhile. Then we remind ourselves the end of their story has not yet been written and keep praying.

Every day we leave footprints on tomorrow

Always, what our kids see us do and hear us say matters more than our careful instructions on how to live and act. (That's true even when our children are grown.)

If we're looking for how-tos, the Apostle Paul always gives good advice. Here's a snippet from Ephesians 4:29 and 32 (NIV.)

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen . . . Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

That's not a bad model for you and me within our own family, is it?

Each family will live it their way and that's okay. God creates one-of-a-kinds, remember?

Learning, too,

Lenore

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September 12, 2013
Tornado roars through Moore, Oklahoma. How would we cope if this was where we used to live?

Imagine coming back to this.

Some residents returned to piles of rubble they couldn't see over.

Some found flat, empty spaces littered with debris. They could only trace in their minds where walls once stood.

All cried and hugged each other. Who wouldn't?

In memory their individual homes looked sweet and flawless, filled with precious possessions. The ordinary, boring routines of daily life transformed into cherished rituals.

Tragedy makes our vision clearer

How many interviews have you watched where Moore residents said something like, "Oh, it's all gone, but that doesn't matter. My family is okay. That's all that counts."

We forget that too easily, don't we?

Is it possible to possess that perspective without first suffering a tragedy?

I think we can. I think we must.

That's especially important for moms. In Moore, ten children died. Yes, the school children were with their teachers.

Even so, they faced their fears on their own.

That's life. Even young children spend most weekdays away from home. Older kids and teens, too. We moms can give them something indestructible to hang onto, whatever comes.

Something like this

First we teach our children they can talk to Jesus themselves. We stress that Jesus is with them, right here. Right now.

Songs are good, too. For generations godly moms and grandmas have been teaching, "Jesus Loves Me," to their little ones. Every Sunday School kid learns it, too. It goes like this:

Jesus loves me, this I know,

For the Bible tells me so.

Little ones to Him belong.

They are weak, but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me,

The Bible tells me so.

Jesus loves me–He who died

Heaven's gate to open wide;

He will wash away my sin,

Let His little child come in.

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me!

Yes, Jesus loves me,

The Bible tells me so.

–Anna B. Warner, in 1860, set to music by William Bradbury in 1862.

Picture one of those young children huddled down listening to the tornado roar down on them. Wouldn't repeating words like these over and over help them get through it?

We can't give away what we don't have

If we're to speak faith and confidence to our families and those around us we need to be equipped ourselves. We can store up verses like these so we'll have them ready to call up when we need them.

Here are some personal favorites:

*(God says) "Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me." –Psalm 59:15 (ESV)

*(Jesus says) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." –John 3:16

*(The Lord says) "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine . . . Do not be afraid, for I am with you . . . " –Isaiah 43:1, 5 (NIV)

Make verses like these part of our emergency kit

School kids in Moore had regular tornado drills. Let's take it one step further and aim to be emotionally and spiritually prepared for whatever comes–and our families, too.

Let's equip minds and spirits with what will carry us through.

Lovingly,

Lenore

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May 22, 2013
What prompts the question is a news story in the March 31 edition of The Sacramento Bee.

A local child care center, Tot Town, recently celebrated its 60th anniversary. Ownership has changed over the years, but their philosophy remains the same.

"I tell parents to put their hands behind their backs," says Nancy Ennis, one of the owners, "and let these kids do it (for themselves.)"

At Tot Town, teachers stress independence, so little ones pour their own milk and hang up their own coats.

Here youngsters are treated to "positive discipline." Ennis says they love and respect kids, but expect them to do things in a certain way. Good behavior is rewarded.

One favorite saying is worth adoption in every family: "You get what you get and don't throw a fit."

Teachers are caring, but firm. If a child is reminded how to act and
doesn't, a teacher or helper takes him or her to another activity. "We
don't stand them in a corner or do timeouts," she says. "We redirect."

The philosophy here hasn't changed for sixty years. Graduates frequently stop by for a visit and gaze fondly on old playground equipment. Local graduates who become parents return to enroll their children in the School, so their kids, too, can learn "the Tot Town way."

Timeless truths have a way of surviving

I read the account with a smile because it echoes what I came to believe myself. As a young mom who often felt overwhelmed, I made a lot of mistakes. I talked too much, for example.

But I'm teachable. Here are some things I wish I'd known before rather than after. (They apply equally at any age past infancy.)

Be clear, but brief.

Quietly repeat what you said as often as necessary. Unless you've changed your mind, stick with what you said the first time.

Don't argue. (It takes two to keep it going, remember?)

Explain your reasoning if your child asks why, but recognize it's okay to revert to, "Because I said so," now and then.

If you set clear limits and stay consistent, your kids will feel more secure and know what they can count on. (That's as true for preteens and teens as for preschooolers.) Yes, they'll moan you're too strict. Fuggeddaboudit.

Remind yourself you're the mom. It's okay to act like you're the one in charge.

You're not in this alone

Any time you feel your confidence wavering, remember God gave you your children and if you ask, He will guide you.

Here's a favorite verse for when you feel all churned up. It's John 14:27, where Jesus promises His followers His peace:

(Jesus said) "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Life is good, being a mom is good and all will be well.

Love,

Lenore

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April 3, 2013
You've probably seen that TV commercial of the mother and her college-bound daughter in the cell phone store.

Both of them talk and weep at the same time, so their words get lost. Daughter tries to reassure her "Hover Mother" they won't be out-of-touch, while the (male) clerk remains mystified. mystified.

Google "hover mothers" or "helicopter parents" and you'll find pages of reading from all over on this hot topic

Hovering starts early

One account described parents who carefully choose a safe neighborhood near schools. Then they declare it's "too dangerous" for their children to walk or bicycle to school alone. They say, "I just want to be sure you're safe, Honey."

What would any normal child conclude? Life is scary.

Maybe that accounts for the twice-daily traffic jams In our quiet, low-crime community at the beginning and end of every school day. Sunshine or rain, cars line up for blocks along tree-lined streets. Watchful moms–and some dads–wait near the crossing guards, ready to walk their kids home. (Parents of middle- and high-school students wait down the street, as instructed.)

Good intentions may be misguided

Planting fear makes children feel powerless.

Our call as loving parents is to help our kids grow strong within themselves.

Instead of hovering, we get our child ready for the "what ifs" of life. Talking it through and offering specific actions can produce courage and calm thinking, like youngsters in news stories who escaped harm by running away, screaming loudly or calling 911.

Somebody helped them be mentally prepared.

Love doesn't gallop to the rescue every time our child calls. Take the youngster with a habit of "forgetting" crucial homework or even lunch. No more lectures. No more temper. First comes a warning, then one rescue. After that Mom says, "Sorry, Sweetie. You're on your own. Talk to your teacher and see what you can work out."

Call it tough, or label it a taste of how the world works. A learning step toward being responsible.

We stay tuned, but from a distance. It's as if we hold up a sign that reads, "We believe in you!" If they stumble, we pick 'em up, give 'em a hug and encourage them to try again.

As Christian moms we want our child's long-term best. Working through situations like this on their own imparts the sense they can deal with whatever comes.

Our mission as parents is to love our kids and let them go

Teens and young adults learn to make wise decisions by (sometimes) making unwise decisions. We allow them to try–and sometimes fail–and learn.

Is this easy? No! Sometimes it feels like the hardest thing we've ever done. The near-hysterical mom in the cell phone commercial would be the type who delivers daily wake-up calls to her child's dorm room. (Yes, it happens.)

Moms feel separation anxiety, too. We look at the years we invested in protecting our child, wanting to make sure she grows up with only happy memories. We wonder how our beautiful children can get along on their own.

If not before, now's the time.

Setting our children free, ready and willing to live without us, bestows a love gift that keeps on giving.

Moms never stop praying

We love our children best when we leave "hovering" to the One who knows the end before the beginning. He never takes His watchful eyes off our loved ones and He knows what they need most. Our task is to keep on praying and trusting.

Here's a Bible verse to encourage us:

. . . The prayer of a righteous [mother} is powerful and effective. –James 5:16 NIV (If you don't feel "righteous enough," read Romans 3:22-24 and 5:19.)

Lovingly,

Lenore

Mother love that strengthens our children

May 21, 2012
We moms pray for our kids all their lives, that God would keep them safe. But have you ever prayed about cinnamon?

Yep. Turns out it has become a real danger for preteens and teens.

Oh, it's not the cinnamon on a yummy breakfast roll or a piece of fragrant cinnamon toast that causes problems.

Rather, it's "the cinnamon challenge," which at first sounds silly and harmless, like many acttivities that catch on with adolescents.

This one goes beyond risky to extremely dangerous.

How could common, wonderful-smelling cinnamon be a hazard? Melissa Arca, M.D., laid out the facts in her Sacramento Bee article of April 10, 2012.

According to Dr. Arca, the cinnamon challenge amounts to a public dare–and what adolescent can resist a dare? That's part of the problem. The other part is it doesn't sound particularly hazardous, even to adults. What could be so bad about swallowing a simple tablespoon of dry cinnamon in under 60 seconds without drinking anything?

Here's the catch. Cinnamon cannot be dissolved by saliva alone.

Dr. Arca says once a person has that much dry cinnamon in their mouth and tries to swallow it, gagging and choking immediately follow. What's more, the choking usually leads to vomiting and sometimes, to aspirating cinnamon into the lungs. Lung collapse may follow, or pneumonia. Some who try it even end up on a ventilator. Kids with asthma are extremely vulnerable and could experience a severe attack.

She advises immediate medical intervention, which strikes me as an unrealistic statement. What kid would try this while their pediatrician–or parent–stands nearby?

Because Dr. Arca stated that poison control centers report a recent spike in calls about the cinnamon challenge, I checked the website of the American Association of Poison Control Centers.

They AAPCC issued a press release warning dated March 28, 2012. In it they explain that powdered or ground cinnamon quickly coats the mouth and throat, which interferes with swallowing . Breathing difficulty follows and teens may unintentionally breathe the spice into their lungs. This can cause pneumonia and/or a serious attack for asthmatics.

Social media takes it viral. Again

Predictably, teens and preteens want to post "funny" videos of themselves or someone else attempting to pull it off on their cell phones or on YouTube.

That's why you can Google "the cinnamon challenge." It has its own website, Facebook page and Twitter handle.

Even Wikipedia lists "cinnamon challenge." That entry notes that cinnamon contains coumarin, a moderately toxic chemical compound. It also notes that European health agencies have warned against ingesting "large amounts" of cinnamon.

We might write this off as a fad, just more amusing antics of the young if it weren't life-threatening.

Building in strength to resist dares like these

Most parents, grandparents and caregivers already warn youngsters over and over about the need to be cautious and careful. Every day in every way.

(As you've probably noticed, kids specialize in tuning out such lectures.)

It seems to me a more hellpful strategy is to aim our efforts at helping our kids develop inner strength–and the sooner, the better. That means talking to our children from little on about making good choices. It helps if they see us living this out ourselves.

No way can we keep our kids in a cage, like exotic birds. They're growing up in the real world. Moms and dads need to equip them to live in it.

Teach them the line you probably heard from your mom:

It doesn't matter what someone else does or says, it's up to YOU to choose what you will do.

It's as true now as ever.

Talk empowerment instead of restrictions

Especially during their adolescent years, youngsters ache to belong. Some habitually look around them to see what others are doing, then mimic it. Blame it on the desire to be popular or on fear of being left out.

At any age, real strength and freedom come from within, from quietly knowing who we are and what we stand for. If our children have a faith background they'll have an advantage during adolescence. Christian kids learn early on about the difference between right and wrong. They also hear often that God loves and forgives them even when they mess up.

Helping our kids establish and rely on their inner standards is like equipping them with inner armor. Knowing what's good and right and true gives them a sure path through the hazards that lurk all through these preteen and teen years.

Hazards like the cinnamon challenge, all the things youngsters will view as fun, nothing more.

Maybe that's why we keep on praying.

Blessings,

Lenore

Moms, did you know cinnamon could be dangerous?

April 13, 2012
Mention the word, "spanking," and people go ballistic.

One loving parent says, "I think spanking is barbaric!" Another, just as loving, says, "Sometimes spanking is the only way I can get their attention."

Surveys indicate a majority of young children in this country are spanked regularly.

Experts and professionals who show up on TV and write articles in magazines mostly rail against the evils of spanking. They often cite studies that seem to prove

physical punishment leads children to become more aggressive.

One "doctor mom" who writes in our local newspaper believes children should not be spanked. Period.

You and I read articles like this and think, Well, she ought to know."

All parents need to do, she says, is practice positive reinforcement and validate the child's feelings. As an example she explains even 2-year olds can understand–once you explain–why they must not touch a hot stove. You listen, you allow them their feelings, you set boundaries and voila!

Why parents sometimes feel threatened

A mom told about taking her three rambunctious boys to McDonald's. They did what preschool boys always do. Jabbed and poked and teased in the waiting area and swung on the shiny railing.

Once they got settled in their booth, the boys started in again. Kicking under the table. Older brothers calling the youngest a baby" and him whimpering. Trying to gross each other out, which called for a collective, "Eww!"

Then she noticed everyone else in the place watching them and frowning, clearly disapproving.

"Rick wanted to settle them down with a little swat on their behinds. I really thought one of that crowd might report us to Child Protective Services, so we gathered up our food and kind of slinked out."

For the record . . .

My husband and I agreed spankings would be rare at our house and they were. Each of our four girls, however, got at least one.

We lived along a straight-shot country road with a dip in it, so drivers would not have seen a toddler in time to stop. With a roomy fenced yard, our kids had plenty of room to run. That's why every single day I warned them, "You must not go outside the yard! Do you understand me?"

And every one of them stole out of our yard at least once.

So I would swoop down on our pint-size adventurer and administer five or six swats right away. It wasn't anger that drove me, but fear for their lives. I had to be able to trust these little girls would stay in our roomy, well-fenced yard, even when I wasn't on hand.

By then we both would be crying. I would hug her and kiss her and not bring it up again.

Know the "why" and know yourself

Spanking our children is hard–and it should be, I think. And we need to be sure we're not just trying to show we're bigger and more powerful than our kids.

I know now that it was good we kept spankings rare in our family. Our girls got the message that Mommy and Daddy are in charge and family rules are meant to be kept.

(P.S. It's good to get that established early, while you're the tall one.)

God bless you,

Comments?

To spank or not to spank, that is the question

March 2, 2012
Every day children absorb messages about sex, either implied or in-your-face.

They soak them up from Mom and Dad. From TV cartoons and sitcoms. From the neighbors and from what teachers say and do, as well as from sex education classes.

Truths and errors drip into young minds. Kids fit them together like pieces of a puzzle and come up with their picture of what it means to be a "male" or a "female."

Prescription: Start early to lay a solid foundation

It's not possible to grab our kids and run because, well, we live in the world.

Our best strategy is to help our sons and daughters lay down solid footings on which they can build sound lives.

Call this equipping what it is: your privilege.

It's never too early and never too late. You will bless your children for life.

The idea is to make this part of casual everyday conversations. Help your children know the values you hold. Talk about the "whys" as well as the "what."

Arm your kids with the truth about sexuality and with right values. "Sexuality" and "sexual identity" go beyond body parts and sexual intercourse and involve the whole person. Males and females think differently and respond differently, both in body and mind.

Our Creator built that into us.

Are there variations between one male and another male? One female and another female? Of course, but none so striking as the differences between one gender and the other.

Mom and Dad are teaching all the time

Have you noticed that youngsters pay the most attention when you're not talking to them?

Your kids watch Mommy and Daddy and think that's how males and females are supposed to relate. When you treat each other with respect and speak well of each other, you give them a strong model to live by. Your love pats and long kisses bear witness that being married offers a lasting attraction.

What kids observe at home, day after day, outweighs whatever they may be taught in sex education classes.

Even teenagers, in numerous surveys, overwhelmingly name their parents as their most important influence.

What else can you do?

Make it a point to watch allowed television shows with your family, so you can help your kids catch innuendos and blatant sexual messages and identify sexy clothing. Talk about shows after they end. See if your kids picked up subtle messages and correct wrong impressions.

As you help your youngsters connect the dots they'll develop their own internal filters. Over time your children will begin to look and listen to life's pressures with better judgment, even when you're not around. They'll be wiser as they use their computer(s) and all the other techie marvels.

Tell it like it is

From the beginning, use the correct terminology. (If you're not sure what that is, buy a reliable book written from a Christian perspective.)

Whatever you say, frame it in the context of God's perfect design. If you read the first two chapters of Genesis, you'll notice He saved the best for last: Adam and Eve. Human beings. He told them to be fruitful and increase in number.

God saw all that he had made and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning–the sixth day. Genesis 1:31

As Christian parents, help your children develop God's view of sexuality. His good gift. Too precious to be squandered in thoughtless and casual ways.

Too wonderful to waste.

You can do it!

God gave you your children, more of his good gifts. He would not entrust you with your ohildren without empowering you for your task.

Peace and joy,

Lenore

Teaching your kids about sex. When, where, by whom?

September 30, 2011
Let's face it. Kids sniff out phoniness faster than a bloodhound after a bank robber.

Youngsters assume their observations on How Adults Really Live are way more accurate than the frequent parental blah, blah, blahs they hear.

Every day situations provide built-in object lessons that prove (to them, at least) whether we mean what we tell them.

No wonder they stay alert, ready to pick up on how Mom (and Dad) respond in one situation or another.

* A cashier gives Mommy change for a $20-dollar bill when she paid with a ten-spot.

* Mom falls for a gorgeous pair of shoes–another gorgeous pair of shoes. She leaves the bag in the car until her husband goes off to a meeting, then hides the shoes in the back of the closet. Some time later she wears them and Dad says, "New shoes?"

* A casual friend calls about going out to lunch and Mom answers, "Sorry, I'm already committed for the day," which isn't true.

* Mother takes Daughter shopping and finds the perfect prom dress, one that fits like a dream. Miracle of miracles, both of them like the same dress. On the way home reality hits. That dress cost twice as much as Mother planned and it has to go back. So she delivers the sad news. "Honey, we have to take this dress back."

Daughter replies, "Oh, no problem, Mom. I'll just tuck the price tag inside and wear the dress Saturday night. Then Monday we take the dress back to the store and you get all your money back. That's what all the girls do."

What's a mother to do?

Over and over we choose how we deal with life. Our choices determine which lessons our children take away. If our actions back up our words they learn one lesson. If not, we teach another.

Tough, but true, 24/7.

Whenever we lose heart it's good to remember that moms and dads hold a unique position, even today. In every survey teens still say their parents are the biggest influence in their lives. That means we impact the next generation, too.

Sounds to me like an honor and a privilege, reason to celebrate, every day.

How about you?

Lovingly,

Lenore

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