You've probably seen that TV commercial of the mother and her college-bound daughter in the cell phone store. 
Both of them talk and weep at the same time, so their words get lost. Daughter tries to reassure her "Hover Mother" they won't be out-of-touch, while the (male) clerk remains mystified. mystified.
Google "hover mothers" or "helicopter parents" and you'll find pages of reading from all over on this hot topic
Hovering starts early
One account described parents who carefully choose a safe neighborhood near schools. Then they declare it's "too dangerous" for their children to walk or bicycle to school alone. They say, "I just want to be sure you're safe, Honey."
What would any normal child conclude? Life is scary.
Maybe that accounts for the twice-daily traffic jams In our quiet, low-crime community at the beginning and end of every school day. Sunshine or rain, cars line up for blocks along tree-lined streets. Watchful moms–and some dads–wait near the crossing guards, ready to walk their kids home. (Parents of middle- and high-school students wait down the street, as instructed.)
Good intentions may be misguided
Planting fear makes children feel powerless.
Our call as loving parents is to help our kids grow strong within themselves.
Instead of hovering, we get our child ready for the "what ifs" of life. Talking it through and offering specific actions can produce courage and calm thinking, like youngsters in news stories who escaped harm by running away, screaming loudly or calling 911.
Somebody helped them be mentally prepared.
Love doesn't gallop to the rescue every time our child calls. Take the youngster with a habit of "forgetting" crucial homework or even lunch. No more lectures. No more temper. First comes a warning, then one rescue. After that Mom says, "Sorry, Sweetie. You're on your own. Talk to your teacher and see what you can work out."
Call it tough, or label it a taste of how the world works. A learning step toward being responsible.
We stay tuned, but from a distance. It's as if we hold up a sign that reads, "We believe in you!" If they stumble, we pick 'em up, give 'em a hug and encourage them to try again.
As Christian moms we want our child's long-term best. Working through situations like this on their own imparts the sense they can deal with whatever comes.
Our mission as parents is to love our kids and let them go
Teens and young adults learn to make wise decisions by (sometimes) making unwise decisions. We allow them to try–and sometimes fail–and learn.
Is this easy? No! Sometimes it feels like the hardest thing we've ever done. The near-hysterical mom in the cell phone commercial would be the type who delivers daily wake-up calls to her child's dorm room. (Yes, it happens.)
Moms feel separation anxiety, too. We look at the years we invested in protecting our child, wanting to make sure she grows up with only happy memories. We wonder how our beautiful children can get along on their own.
If not before, now's the time.
Setting our children free, ready and willing to live without us, bestows a love gift that keeps on giving.
Moms never stop praying
We love our children best when we leave "hovering" to the One who knows the end before the beginning. He never takes His watchful eyes off our loved ones and He knows what they need most. Our task is to keep on praying and trusting.
Here's a Bible verse to encourage us:
. . . The prayer of a righteous [mother} is powerful and effective. –James 5:16 NIV (If you don't feel "righteous enough," read Romans 3:22-24 and 5:19.)
Lovingly,
Lenore
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