Category: Children

  • School’s back in session and a lot of parents are groaning, along with their kids. 

    So are teachers. When I talked with “Ella,” a teacher friend of mine, I got some eye-opening insights into what she deals with every day. After talking to a few other teachers, I learned her challenges are not unique.

    Listen in and judge for yourself whether teachers have “cushy” jobs

    “All I ever wanted to do was teach,” Ella said, “and I’ve loved it for almost twelve years, but it gets harder every year.

    “Lots of days last year I dreaded walking into my classroom even though I really loved my kids.”

    “Why?”

    “I had so many troubled kids. Their home situations spilled over, big time. Like the boy whose dad was killed in a car accident. He started lashing out at everyone and who could blame him?

    “Or the sweet girl who knew her mom was on chemo and not doing well. That’s all she could think about. All I could do was try to be extra patient and understanding.   

    “Three or four of my students felt caught in the middle between their divorced parents. One boy talked about his mom’s new husband, who wasn’t much interested in her children–and showed it. One girl’s dad had a live-in girlfriend who loved her man, but made it clear she wanted him all to herself.  

    “Several parents had good jobs that paid very well, but their kids didn’t see enough of them. That’s never good. Some parents drank too much or had drug problems. I saw the fallout in their children.”

    By now Ella's eyes brimmed with tears. "I truly loved those youngsters and I tried to make our classroom a happy place, but that really was all I could do. I felt so helpless! At the end of the day--almost every day--I ended up feeling as limp as an old dishrag."

Are all teachers great teachers? No. Are all unselfish and noble? Of course not.

    Teachers are imperfect human beings like the rest of us. Most of them work with kids because they love teaching. Many are married and may have families of their own. They face personal challenges and get discouraged sometimes, just as we do.

    Think how it could lift their spirits if we were as quick to point out what’s good as we are to complain about what’s wrong.

    With or without children, how can you and I make a difference? 

    Let’s put in the effort to smile and be a friend to kids in our church and community. Sometimes what young people need most is a warm, caring person who makes time to listen.

    Somebody built the schools you and I attended and paid the teachers who taught us. Whether we do or we don’t have children, you and I can be a force for good. 

    Let’s be people who frequently speak encouragement and thanks to those who work with children and teens.  

    If we don’t, who will? It’s as Jesus said in Luke 6:31: 

    “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” 

    It’s not complicated. All we need to do is look for what’s good and say so, whether it’s to teachers or to youngsters. What seems small and insignificant to us can light up the day–or lighten the load–for another person.   

    And isn’t that worth the effort?

    Here’s to finding more JOY in every day!

    Lenore 

    Ever Wished You Could Peek Into A Typical Classroom?

  • News flash: Someone is watching you every minute of every day, someone who means no harm.

    Watching me? Me? Blog. Two women talking. 1.16

    Yes, you.

    Every minute of every day?

    Yep. Every minute. Every day.

    Hey, I’m just an ordinary person. Why would anyone pay attention to me?

    Trust me, they do.

    Like where?

    Anywhere you go. On the job. In school. In your neighborhood. At home, because your children are watching you, from their earliest years on into adulthood–and beyond.

    Now I know you’re putting me on. My children ignore me!

    Oh no they don’t. They watch your every move and hear every word you speak.

    I think that’s a crazy idea.

    Think whatever you like. It’s true. Even kids who never seem to pay attention keep their eyes on you. They listen, too. Especially when you don’t want them to hear you.

    Okay, if that’s true, why are they tracking me?

    Because they want to pick up clues on how to live and how to treat other people.

    Give me a for instance.

    All right. Let’s start with these

    1. Remember last week, when that clerk didn’t get your order quite right and you were ticked off? You lost your temper with her, loud and clear.

            Did you notice the expression on your son’s face?

    2. Or take last Thursday. You just sat down with a cup of coffee and your favorite magazine when Annie called. She goes on forever, so you told her you were sorry but you were just out the door for an appointment. Your daughter looked at you and rolled her eyes.

    You fooled Annie, but not your daughter.

    3. Then there was the time you bought yourself a pair of shoes you didn’t really need and couldn’t afford while on a school shopping trip with your kids. You told them, “Let’s not say anything to Dad about Mommy’s new shoes because he’s not interested in girl stuff. Okay? And does anybody want ice cream?”

    Remember how you couldn’t look your kids–or your husband–in the eye that night?

    Well, yeah, but it’s no big deal. Everybody does it.

    Really?

    Maybe not everybody, but I’m a really good person. Ask anyone.

    What kind of people do you want your children to be? 

    Oh, I talk about that all the time. I tell them to treat other people with kindness and to tell the truth. And how they should always be up-front with us and with everyone else.

    I’ve said over and over that telling the truth is important, because we need to be able to trust them.

    Did you ever realize there’s more than one way to “tell” and teach? Albert Einstein expressed it this way: “Example isn’t another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.”

    Moms and dads do lots of talking and we know our children tune us out.

    But they never tune out what we do.

    “What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say.” 

    That one-liner came from Ralph Waldo Emerson way back in 1875–and it still sums up a great truth that applies to every one of us. At any stage of life.

    The watchers all around us will keep watching–and comparing what we say we believe to what they see us doing. As much as we may bristle at the very idea of people watching us, it’s just as true that these observers help us stay on track with being authentic.

    Words are easy. Living them out is a day-to-day challenge. 

    Does all this sound too hard? Any time it does, fall back on this Bible verse and remember that if we trust in Jesus as our Savior, HE will enable us to keep going.

    I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.  –Philippians 4:13  NKJV

    All we have to do is start where we are, thanking God for our “helpers”. They help us stay on track to grow more and more into the persons we’ve always wanted to be.

    Still learning, too,

    Lenore 

    Your Audience Is Watching!

  • One unforgettable Sunday morning in church we sat right behind pure joy

    Blog. Young girl praising God. 12.14The worship theme for the day was "Joy!" and a little girl in the row ahead of us showed us what joy looks like.

    She looked much like the girl in the photo as she swayed back and forth in her polka dot dress, keeping time to the music of the worship team. 

    She kept smiling up at her parents and her smile lit up her face. That adorable 5-year old was lost in praise and joy.

    All of us around her were smiling, too. As always, we sang the praise songs, but with (ahem) more restraint. Blame it on being all grown-up and "sensible". Experienced. Seasoned by life.

    (But wouldn't it be wonderful to feel such joy every day of the week?)

    Are you feeling life is one dreary round of duty after another?  

    We all could use a fresh infusion of joy, especially this time of year, when dark is long and daylight is short.

    Still, we short-circuit that possibility by our December routines:

    • Impossible schedules, with Christmas programs and parties and gatherings all converging on a few dates
    • Never enough time
    • Never enough sleep
    • Dithering over what to have for the eat-too-much family dinner. Or if out-of-town family is visiting over Christmas, will we be hosting? And how much food will we need to prepare?
    • Tensions over wanting to give gifts that light up our loved ones' eyes while trying to stick to the family budget

    It's time to ask ourselves what really matters?

    Many of us are scurrying around, reciting to ourselves, "I-gotta-remember-to- …" Suppose we stopped for awhile and breathed in God's strength.

    It helps to refocus our thoughts and fill our minds with what He says to us:

    Be still, and know that I am God.  -Psalm 46:10

    Let the peace of God rule in your hearts.  -Colossians 3:15 

    In quietness and trust is your strength.  -Isaiah 30:15

    These verses can become the music in our minds that drowns out the din and emptiness of commercialism.

    Always, we have a choice of what we let take root in our minds. 

    Remember the reason for the season

    If we look back at our lives, what stands out are the people and the love. 

    That's true for our children, too. Right now we can be laying down treasure in their memory banks and their hearts. Let's make it the real thing, like celebrating the birth of the Christ Child together and nestling into the warmth and love of family.

    If we're preoccupied with the tinsel of cramming in all the "stuff" of the holidays we'll miss out on what really matters and they will, too. Our calmness and gentleness will help quiet our children and give them a pattern for how to live.

    Joy comes from within, remember?

    Jesus is the reason for the season

    The angels proclaimed JOY to all the world the night Jesus was born. Remember?

    That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people."     –Luke 2:8-10

    Joy to you and joy to me.

    The same joy that bubbled up in that little girl and spilled over onto the world around her.

    Joy to the highest of the high and the lowest of the low

    We may assume those shepherds had it easy, lolling around on picturesque green hills while their gentle sheep grazed peacefully. All they had to do was keep an eye on them.   

    Not true. If you've spent any time around sheep you know they're easily spooked and will run mindlessly after the first sheep that starts running. 

    Add in possible predators that lurk in the shadows, waiting. In 1 Samuel 17 young David tells of a shepherd's life:

    “I have been taking care of my father’s sheep and goats,” he said. “When a lion or a bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock, I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death." 

    Doesn't sound too idyllic, does it?

    Every day those shepherds dealt with life and death–and they got no respect from the world. They lived with their sheep and probably smelled like them, too, coming back to their villages badly in need of soap and water and a haircut. 

    Yet they were the first to see and worship Jesus, except Mary and Joseph.

    Whatever our difficulties, Jesus brings joy

    Christians are not immune from troubles and trials, but we're never on our own.

    The Apostle Peter wrote about that in 1 Peter 1. He describes how Jesus brings us joy, here from the New Living Translation, verses 8-9:

    You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him, you trust him; and even now you are happy with a glorious, inexpressible joy. Your reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.

    That's our reason for joy and for praise, for swaying with the music of our lives. Through whatever comes, we know Jesus is with us.

    That joy can be yours.

    If you're still wondering what you think about God, find a Bible and look up the Gospel of John. Read John 3:16 and think on it awhile. Ponder that the word "whoever" includes you.

    You can read the familiar Christmas story in Luke, chapter 2.

    JOY to you, my friends, in the dark and in the light, at Christmas and all year through!

    Lenore

    Are you longing for Christmas joy? Find it here

  • You hear it all the time on TV talk shows and read it online and in print: It's essential to be generous with praise if we want to build a child's self-image.

    Blog. Boy w Mom. 6.2024That's no longer universally acclaimed. More and more new/old thinkers tell us it's better to go easy on remarks like, "You're so adorable!" and, "Look at you! You're so smart!"

    Choose instead to emphasize what the child or teen can feel pride in doing and being. That is, give your kids solid, individual reasons for self-esteem.

    Compliment qualities you want to implant and expand. Here are some
    examples.  

    If your daughter helps empty the dishwasher or pitches in with other household chores: "You're such a good helper. I like knowing I can count on you."

    Should your son give part of his cookie to a friend: "I like the way you share. You have a generous heart."

    If your youngster is involved in sports and their team loses the game but your child manages to keep smiling: "You make me very proud. You played fair and you're a good sport."

    Such comments help kids recognize and focus on their best qualities.

    Words like that build a child's character 

    Even at young ages kids figure out that they can decide what to do or not to do.

    Parents naturally want them to choose whichever actions will make them stronger and help them stay out of trouble. Mom or Dad can influence their thinking in many ways, especially by how they speak.

    Praise their appearance only and you'll grow an individual who measures their self-worth by looking in the mirror. Praise grades, test scores and sports scores and you risk developing young people who feel they are worth less if they fail to come out on top.

    What matters more is to emphasize what builds their own sense of being a worthwhile person.

    It all goes back to a major principle of child-rearing: Only reinforce–with words or applause–what you want to see repeated.

    There's more to it, of course 

    Many of us believe the true core of an individual's self-esteem lies even deeper. Karl Barth, a renowned thinker and theologian of the Twentieth Century put it this way, "The greatest theological insight I have ever had is this: 'Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.'"

    You may recognize that line from the song many kids learn in Sunday School or Children's Church. To plant the certainty of that first line in a child's mind gives them an "outside source"–separate from family members or other individuals–by which to gauge their self-worth. One who never changes.

    Step into the shoes of any child or young person. They are trying to figure out who they are in a world that pulls them in all directions. Parents may urge one path, the child wants another.

    Moms and dads worry because they see possible trouble ahead, trouble their children argue against.

    Why? Why?

    It helps to remember that children and teens only know what they have experienced so far. They often feel uncertain about everything and overwhelmed and well may have nothing to hang onto.

    That's one reason they so often "drive their parents crazy." It's a waste of emotion to expect that they would–or could–look at life and the world around them as their mom or dad does.

    Think what it would mean to know deep down that you have value every moment of every day. Not because you deserve it or earned it, but because Jesus loves you. The Bible backs up that statement. Year after year the Christian Bible is the best-selling book.

    According to several reliable sources, about 20 million copies of the Holy Bible were sold last year, just in the United States.  

    There must be a reason why  

    The message that weaves throughout the Bible is that Jesus, true God and true man, lived and willingly died so that anyone who believes in him as their Savior and Lord, is set right with God. 

    For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  John 3:16

    That's the basis for this children's song: 

    "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so … "

    It is simple, profound truth that brings unshakable certainty one is loved. No conditions. No exceptions.  

    Children convinced of this will be better equipped to handle whatever may come into their lives. Their self-confidence will be strong and rest on a solid base.

    Isn't that what you want for your children? And yourself?

    Blessings to you,

    Lenore

    Thoughts on Rearing Self-Confident Kids

  • Like it or not, you and I live our lives onstage, every bit as much as any public figure or show biz performer. 

     

    You might laugh at that, but think about it. Even if we live alone, we interact with other people, whether by phone or text or email. Our words and our tone create a mental image for the receiver. 

     

    Blog. Mother. checkout clerk. 2.14Or the casual observer. Like me, the day I waited to check out in a big box store behind a woman and her daughter, perhaps age eight or nine. The girl waited patiently while her mother wrote a check.

     

    As the mom picked up her bag she paused and said to the checker. "Wait a minute. I bought five things, but I think you only charged me for four. Would you please look over my bill and find what I owe you?"

    The twentyish clerk glanced over the shoppers behind me and replied, "But, Ma'am, you already wrote out your check. You'd have to tear it up and we'd have to start over. I really think you paid for all five."

    I couldn't help noticing their faded but clean clothing. Nevertheless, this woman held her head up, and fixed her attention on the checker and calmly refused the offer. "I can't take something home if I haven't paid for it. Please figure out which one got missed, and I'll pay cash for that one item."

    People behind me had stopped talking. I guessed they were watching, too. The clerk sighed, then compared price tags and the cash register receipt. Finally she said, "It's the most expensive one: $12.99." 

    The mom said, "Okay," and dug around in her well-worn purse for some wrinkled bills and a handful of coins, all the while explaining to her daughter what was going on. Soon the two were on their way out of the store.

    Judging by the clerk's look of disbelief I suspect she later recounted this exchange to others. No doubt at least a few onlookers did, too. 

    That shopper so easily could have taken the freebie and run

    This mom judged something more important than dollars and cents and her quiet firmness communicated a lot about her. She won't need to lecture her daughter about honesty. She lived it out as her daughter watched and listened, probably not for the first time. She also set an example for those of us who were waiting our turn.

    Isn't that the best kind of parenting–and teaching? 

    Later I thought of an Albert Einstein quote I heard years earlier and never forgot: 

     

    "Example isn't another way to teach,

    it is the only way to teach."

    We are not who we say we are. We are what we live

    One thing is sure. That woman gifted her daughter with a lesson about honesty she likely won't forget. 

    Words always matter, but actions count even more. Ask any parent, children keep track of every disconnect between what their parents (and those in authority) say and what they do. Even as adults.   

    Who we are and what we do carries more weight than our words spoken to them. Every time.    

    Nobody's perfect

    Not even that mom in the big box store, nor any human being. Life can be hard, no doubt about it. After awhile we can feel overwhelmed and hope evaporates.

    Christians believe help is available at any time. Jesus used an everyday illustration to explain to his followers they were "grafted" into him by faith, so they could draw on his strength within them. 

    (Jesus said) "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."               John 15:5 NIV

    God's promises for his people run through all through the Bible.

    Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.          Isaiah 41:10

    I know nothing about that mom in the big box store except what I witnessed that day, but I admire her. Her quiet confidence seemed to illustrate that her actions that day were nothing out of the ordinary for her. She was authentic.

    Isn't that what we all long for in the people around us? 

    Let's resolve to be authentic, to make sure our words and our actions are in harmony. After all, we never know who might be watching or listening in our own family or circle of friends.

    Or even some stranger behind us in the checkout line.

    Growing, too,

    Lenore

    Your Audience Is Watching

  • If you're like me you probably read that title and thought, Yeah, sure. Easy for you to talk.  

    That's because we remember all too well the many times we shushed our children or lost control and started yelling.

    Blog. Mom. Son. Daughter. 5.16And that's just for starters. Our minds flood with memories of failing to be the kind of mother we once assumed we would be. Could be. Should be.

    Once we had very clear pictures in our minds, didn't we, of the "perfect family" we would have? We assumed if we really, really wanted to be good moms and really, really tried, all the rest would follow naturally.

    In no time at all we became wiser. 

    Let's be honest here: Being a mom is hard. (So is being a good dad.)

    Beforehand we thought, New babies are so adorable! Children are so enchanting!

    And they are. Before becoming parents we could not imagine we could ever run out of patience.

    Ever run out of love. 

    But we do, sometimes. Almost. Like before our newborn finally, finally, starts sleeping all night. Or when our older child pushes all our buttons.

    It is scary to admit how weak we are, even to ourselves. We pray for forgiveness, fearful God might punish us for even having such thoughts, however fleeting they may be.

    Immediately we resolve to do better. To be more patient, more joyful. To only smile, every moment. No matter what.

    Then in no time at all we fail again.  

    If you have been there–or are there now–put your feet up and relax. You're among friends, so let's turn the corner in minds and remind ourselves what we're about.  

    Recognize the influence you have

    Abraham Lincoln said, "All that I am or ever hope to be I owe to my angel mother." 

    Few of us expect to hear glowing tributes like that when our children reach adulthood, but certainly we want to help them grow as individuals and to strengthen the good qualities already implanted in them by their Creator. 

    That's a noble goal, but how are we supposed to accomplish it?  

    By now one thing I know for sure is that every one of us can rest in the assurance that we and our children are a perfect match for each other.

    Think about it. God creates each child and He places us together because we are exactly right for each other–even on our worst days.

    Parenting, you see, is a growing proposition. Our children grow up while we grow and stretch in understanding and as individuals.

    Our task is to show love and speak love and ask God to enable us and guide us. Every moment of every day and every night.

    The simple prayer of a mom or dad who longs to rear their children rightly touches the heart of God, even if all they can manage is, "Help me, Lord!"

    Trust me, you won't sprout angel wings

    You will disappoint yourself, over and over, but God is faithful, so just ask. Little by little you'll find your love and patience somehow expand. 

    You'll develop courage, too, so you can stick to your family standards without apology, simply because you know they are right for your children and your family.

    Where do you start? Here: 

    "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has not one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends."  –John 15:12-13  ESV

    That covers it all. Every day.

    Is it easy? No

    In so many ways moms and dads continually lay down their lives every day.

    Children take over our lives. They take up what we used to call "free time." Occupy our thoughts, continually. Consume family income. And on and on.

    Yet most parents would not trade even one child for all the gold in Dubai.

    When we pray, God will enable us to live out love more selflessly. This transforms our days from the daily grind to the daily gladness.

    Don't get me wrong. I did not cheer at the constant cooking and laundry and all the rest. I'm not sure anyone ever has.

    But when we do what we do flows out of love, every day becomes worthwhile  That includes the day you have kids barfing upstairs and a puppy with the runs downstairs and then the dishwasher dies.

    You stay because your purpose is more lasting than the quickie pleasure of escaping to Starbucks.

    Now about those seeds of greatness … 

    President Lincoln grew up in a log cabin. He had none of what we label "advantages," except the one that matters most: He was loved and he knew it.

    Jeff Oppenheimer, author, wrote a novel about Lincoln and his stepmother, That Nation Might Live. He put it this way:

    How Every Mom Can Plant Seeds of Greatness (Dads, Too!)

  • Some of us assume what's being taught in the schools needn't concern us unless we have children still attending.

      Blog. Kids in park. Many races. 7.2021

    Are you sure?   

    Today's schoolkids will be tomorrow's adults. Tomorrow's leaders in every community and in every level of government.   

    What these children learn in school and adopt as their personal values today will determine how they will live–and lead–tomorrow.

    That kid on the corner who "drives you crazy" today may grow up to be President tomorrow.  

    (And you may still be around. Don't you take better care of your health hoping to live longer?)  

    Politics and preferences aside, let's think it through 

    I don't pretend to be an expert in any way and this piece can only skim the surface. Any misstatements or mistakes are unintentional. Because situations vary from place to place, I hope it you will research the facts in your local schools and communities. Only then will you know for yourself what the issues are where you live.

    If you've wondered why curriculum and policy in public schools has drawn so much discussion and criticism of late, start with this. Some years ago educators and school boards decided students needed to be better equipped for modern society, which called for more than "the basics." Classes such as sex education, cultural studies and sensitivity training became standard, along with varying amounts of computer science, technical skills, etc.   

    Choices had to be made because there's only so much time in a school day. Which subjects and practices would stay and which would need to be either shortened or eliminated? 

    The goal was that students would be more balanced, better-equipped to live in today's world and also more sensitive to all races, religions and ethnic groups. These changes and innovations were meant to ease tensions and enable a more sensitive, peaceful society for all

    This often led to revisions in school policy such as ruling that any teaching of morals, ethics or integrity were not to be taught or even alluded to in the classroom. This would avoid anything that traced back to Christianity or other mainstream religious thought. The aim was to avoid offending those with other views.

    (This does not imply teachers themselves lack morals or integrity.)

    Each of us needs to be informed so we can form our own thoughtful judgments

    This requires us to find factual information for ourselves. Start by spending some time on your computer and reading a variety of material and opinion for yourself. 

    Another "hot topic" in the news is The 1619 Project, but many of us remain hazy about the subject.

    As usually presented, this Project dates the beginning of this Nation back to 1619. That's when the first European settlers set foot on these shores, bringing their African slaves with them. (Slavery was common practice in many parts of the world.) 

    Obviously, this predates December 18, 1620, when the ship Mayflower anchored in the harbor at Plymouth Rock, Connecticut, bringing the Pilgrims. They left Europe in order to found a colony where they could worship God as they saw fit. 

    A different view of the Revolutionary War

    Proponents of The 1619 Project believe this War was fought not as a battle to win freedom from British control. Rather, the aim was to increase and preserve slavery in what later became the United States of America.

    Already many schools are evaluating and/or changing over to this new view of history. Textbooks and curriculum materials likely will incorporate parts or all of this 1619 Project tenets. Some schools will do a complete switchover. Others will incorporate parts of it into what's taught.  

    Some educators believe before long this new curriculum will supplant traditional teaching of U.S. history at most public schools.

    A unique aspect of The 1619 Project  

    This Project maintains the real reason white slave-owners chose to settle this land was to establish and expand slavery of blacks so as to build their individual wealth. 

    This means people with white or lighter skin have enslaved and discriminated against people with darker skin from before the beginning of this Nation and that individuals of color were–and still are–oppressed. Those with white skin were oppressors–and that continues to this day.

    Furthermore, proponents believe that skin color determines one's life. For life. They maintain it is vital to teach this thinking so that all students develop compassion.  

    People who don't agree ask, "How can it be helpful to imprint the idea on school kids that the color of their skin determines what kind of life and what kind of future they can have? Ever? How is this not another form of racism?"

    Take note of gender issues 

    You probably know that in many public schools, "gender identity" now is considered more a matter of preference than of body parts. 

    Personal pronouns count. Some schools outlaw the use of personal pronouns (i.e., he, she, his, hers) altogether, considering them "discriminatory." The approved substitution is "they," "them," and "their." (New textbooks may reflect this policy.)

    Starting from Pre-K on up, teachers in some schools may ask students, "Which do you feel like today, a girl or a boy?" If the child's answer differs from the obvious, they will be asked what name they prefer to be called by today. During that day the child only answers to–and can only be called by–that name.  

    Some schools allow students to dress according to their gender identity of the day. Some allow kids to use the restroom(s) and showers that match the gender the child has chosen for the day. (Note: In some public schools, restrooms and locker rooms may already be unisex.)

    To know about your local school(s,) ask    

    Any resident has the legal right to examine textbooks, teachers' lesson plans, etc., and whatever materials will be used in the classroom. Just go to the school and ask politely to examine the curriculum and teachers' lesson plans.  

    You also have the right to courteously ask school authorities about current practice(s) in the schools your children attend.

    Be sure to allot yourself ample time so you clearly understand your children's school(s) and policies in use at each one. Ask questions and take notes. Get to know your school board members and attend school board meetings, not to argue but to understand. In most school districts, Board members are the bottom line.   

    Curriculum and school policy set the tone–and often the limits–for what teachers can say and what they can teach. Teachers and class studies influence the attitude of students over time. What kids and teens absorb today inevitably will have impact way beyond the classroom. 

    All this means these issues need to matter to every one of us, with or without children.  

    Changes in thinking happen little by little

    Children learn attitudes in all kinds of ways. (So do we all.)  

    It's not enough to rely for information on talking heads in the media. That very well may be opinion and not even close to the truth of your local schools.  

    Local citizenry staying informed is essential because once a curriculum or a philosophy is adopted in a school or school system, it's hard to change. That's step one.

    Step two is to speak our well-considered opinions, reasonably and calmly, when the subject comes up in everyday conversation. 

    Don't forget to pray  

    Only God knows how any of this will shake out in our society and what the future impact will be.

    We are called to be faithful in how we raise our children and to be aware of current events, knowing that God always has the last word. 

    Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21  NIV

    Let's pray HE will be in the midst of every discussion, every decision and every classroom.

    And now may God, who gives us his peace, be with you all. Amen   Romans 15:33 NLT

    Lenore

    Why what’s being taught in our schools matters to ALL of us

  • Every parent knows the tone of voice that goes along with that refrain.

    Blog. Bored boy. 7.14It's about as thrilling as fingernails dragging across a blackboard. What to do?

    Our quartet often gave moving performances that caused me either to stifle my laughter or–after awhile–wish for a quickie way to quiet the mob.

    I had none, so out of desperation more than anything, I came up with a standard reply. "You're bored? Oh, that's too bad. Here's what you'll need to clean the bathroom sink(s.) Go make it shine!"

    Or, "Here, this broom should be the right size for you to use as you sweep the porch and sidewalks."

    Or, "I just heard the clothes dryer signal that the towels are dry. Please take the towels out of the dryer and fold them."

    You get the idea. After a day or two of such suggestions nobody complained of being bored. 

    I also discovered it boosts incentive to hold out the carrot of a reward when the chores are done. A trip to the park or ice cream treats can prove magical. Or try a family trip to your public library because kids still love being able to choose "their" books or whatever to bring home with them. 

    Be sure they see you reading, too. Often.  

    Creativity shines with enough free time

    At our house we went for creativity more than toys and gadgets, so summer became a time when dreaming up concepts boomed. We always kept raw materials on hand like cardboard boxes of all sizes, assorted papers, crayons, colored pencils, markers, scraps of fabric, Mod Podge, glue, etc.

    Trips to craft and discount stores and also yard sales yielded interesting cords and ribbon, pretty gift papers, paints, glitter, wooden boxes and frames, etc. 

    Was it messy? Sure. After the first time I proclaimed that our kingdom had a new never-break-it rule. From then on NO doing anything until old newspapers or an old plastic tablecloth or something like that had been put down on the work surface. (Was I ready to help with this? You betcha.)

    All this costs almost nothing, but it's a great way for kids to experiment and have fun together.  

    Why bother, when cell phones and computers can keep kids occupied for hours?

    Technology may be everywhere, but human nature–and kid nature–hasn't changed that much.

    Creating still brings more satisfaction than consuming an endless stream of "stuff" on screens, some of it questionable. Besides, people still matter more than things. Don't your favorite family memories feature times when you did nothing much and just enjoyed being together?

    This requires free time, which may require planning.

    Scheduling each child for some activity every minute of every day eats up free time. Too much time watching TV, being on computers and cell phones does the same. We all need time to "just be."

    That's why limiting time on phones and computers and enforcing time limits are important.  (Yes, this inconveniences Mom and Dad, too, because as you no doubt discovered early on, we have to live what we preach or nobody pays attention to our words.)

    Note: This will not earn you the title of "Miss Popularity."

    Remember who you are

    God gave you these children and you are in charge.

    Yes, it's a lot of responsibility, but it's also a privilege. You're helping shape the way these young human beings develop and grow.

    Even if each child is a bona fide genius, you know better than they what counts most in getting them ready for life as well-rounded individuals. 

    As radical as it sounds in our times, research has shown that sometimes sports and various "enrichment" activities are not what each child in your family–or you, for that matter–needs most. They've been created one of a kind, remember?

    Give each family member–and yourself–a gift. Look for ways to nurture their individual talents and skills. 

    Maybe what each family member needs most is some unprogrammed time to let down. At any age, reading a book or lying under a tree just for the sake of looking up at the sky is not "wasted time."

    I promise you the world will not stop.

    Being unscheduled is not the same as being bored

    Summer offers a defined opportunity to try new things. Later you can decide what comes next. Or doesn't. Think of it as time to refuel and rediscover.

    Both your children and you may be surprised to find that in the midst of "nothing happening," a lot of personal growth occurred–and none of you were bored.

    For now, go with the rhythm of your days. Be quiet and rest. For right now, just be.

    Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.  Ecclesiastes 4:6  ESV

    In quietness and in trust shall be your strength.   Isaiah 30:15  ESV 

    Learning, too,

    Lenore

    One strategy to deal with the wail, “I am sooo bored!”

  • Okay, I get it. Your mom made you go to church and you vowed you would never do that to your children.

    Blog. Church family clipart. 9.16
    Maybe it's time for a rethink. You may be cheating them–and yourself–by staying away.

    How? Let's do a rundown:   

    1. Where else can kids be surrounded by grownups of all ages who smile on them and love them even when they don't know their names?
    2. Where else does a "holy terror" kid get loved, time after time, even when said HTK can't sit still, can't be quiet and won't stop pestering whoever sits next to him?
    3. Where else do young children and adolescents interact with older adults–other than their parents–instead of just observing them from a distance?
    4. Where else do youngsters carry on real conversations with adults–listening adults–who aren't relatives or friends of their parents? 
    5. Where else in today's world do kids get a front row seat to watch and learn that it takes all kinds of people, each one playing their part, to keep things going?
    6. Where else do children learn grownup songs and get to sing alongside adults? And where else would adults within hearing distance smile benevolently, even if a youngster sings off-key or messes up the words?
    7. Where else can you feel you already know–before you've spent much time with them–many of the values of the people around you? 
    8. Where else will the difference between right and wrong be so clearly reinforced to your kids?

    9. Where else will they learn principles like "Love your neighbor as yourself," and "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and all the rest? (These truths sink deep and become a personal code far more reliable than moods of the moment.) 

    10. Where else will your kids learn that Jesus came to set things right between God and us humans, that he lived and died and rose again so that all who believe can call him Friend.?

    11. In what other setting–besides at home–will your children be reassured over and over again that Jesus loves them? Or that he watches over them and is with them every moment of every day and night?

    It's not "Go to church and do your duty," but rather, "Why cheat yourself and your kids out of the blessing and joy?"

    Every mom and dad soon learns that our words don't mean much to our children if they're just words. What really counts with a child is, "Does this really matter to Mom or Dad? Or is it just something I'm supposed to do?"

    That is, bring them with you to church, rather than just drop them off for Sunday School and then pick them up afterward.

    Being part of a family of faith reinforces what you as a family stand for. It's about support and encouragement–for both your children and you as their parents. 

    Bringing your kids to church is not just so they can hear the pastor's sermon and/or the children's message or go to Sunday School. It's also so they naturally grow friendships with kids you more likely feel comfortable with.

    If you're a mom or dad, your fellow churchgoers are like your backup team.

    Think about it. A church family is just that: Family

    You may live a thousand miles from relatives, but if you're part of a local body of believers, you're plunked right down in the middle of family.

    Family related by faith, not blood, who will be there when you need them.

    Folks who if they see you talking to a friend and spot your toddler running across the parking lot, will immediately race after your junior adventurer and deliver your little one safely back to you.

    Individuals with whom it's safe to talk. People who will care that you're running on fumes and feeling overwhelmed. 

    It only takes one to hug you and remind you, "Take heart, it's not the end of the story yet. God will get you through this. I know that's true and here's how. …" 

    It's been this way since Jesus started it

    "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."  John 13:34-35

    Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.   Galatians 6:2

    Look for a church that's Jesus-centered and Bible-centered, where the pastor and people are real, that is, authentic.

    Then go with an open mind and be as friendly as you would be if taking part in any kind of new activity. There's no better way to give your kids–and yourself–a solid base for living. No better setting in which to make new friends. Count on it as a place to grow.

    • Why bring your kids to church? Because you love them.

    • Why go to church? Because you love yourself.

    Still growing,

    Lenore

    11 Reasons to Bring Your Kids to Church

  • Most of us know the saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

    Blog. Smile. 11.21When I first read those words on a gift shop plaque I didn't have to ask myself whether the saying was true.

    All I had to do was remember. With regret.  

    As a young mom, some days I got up in a bad mood–and spread it around. On those mornings, Mama, the Martyr, would prepare a healthy breakfast for her family–and serve it without a word.  

    Mama didn't smile, so neither did anyone else.

    Our otherwise bouncing, laughing young daughters would eat silently, then escape ASAP, whether to another room or to wait for the school bus. My sweet husband would gulp down his breakfast, then head for the door with a wave instead of grabbing me for a kiss as he usually did.

    And I understood why.

    Who could blame them?  

    Their moods affected me, too, of course. As in every family, our four kids sometimes couldn't stand each other, resulting in a tiresome refrain of, "Mommy, make her leave me alone!" 

    Do you think their whining lifted my spirits and made me a happy mama? Nope. 

    Over time I figured out some major truths: 

    Whatever the cause of my bad mood I didn't have the right to take it out on my husband and kids. Besides, that never changed anything for the better.

    In any and every situation, our mindset determines how we feel–and how we act.

    As Abraham Lincoln, the world-famous mental health professional, put it: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." 

    Always, our words can lift each other up or tear each other down 

    That's true in parenting. True in a marriage. It's true on the job.

    If our kids struggle they don't need our analysis of what's wrong. They need our love and encouragement and quiet listening.

    When they slip up it's okay to gently stick to our family standards, along with talking over the whys of why we have them. Then comes the next lesson as we hand out appropriate penalties. 

    Allowing our children some freedom to make choices–and also allowing them to live with the consequences of their choices–can be painful, but it grows maturity and confidence.

    They grow stronger from within.  

    What about teenagers?

    Teenagers are on their bumpy way to adulthood. Yes, they need truth and common sense about how to handle life, but it's equally important that they hear us speak our faith and confidence in them as individuals.   

    It's good to help them learn life skills by letting them cope. (They'll make mistakes.) They crave words like, "I know you can handle this challenge, because I know how strong and determined you are. I believe in you and so does God and we always, always love you, no matter what."

    Sometimes teens seem so self-assured we think we as parents are irrelevant.

    Not true! Every survey of teenagers says they want their parents' respect and value their parents' opinions more than any of their peers.

    When we speak love we give them what they need most. If we doubt that's true, all we have to do is ask ourselves what we want and need.

    Widen the circle

    Let's not stop there. Our kind words can lift the hearts of people around us, too.

    Picture the mom whose kids are acting up in the Food Court at your local mall, the one who looks frazzled and beat. What if you stopped and said to her, "You have a beautiful family. I can see in your eyes how much you love your children."  

    What about the co-worker who seems depressed? What better opportunity to point out some instances when they helped you or someone else? Small kindnesses can make a difference in someone's day.

    Or suppose you were chairing a women's event at your church. Someone spills punch all over the serving table. You keep smiling as you mop up the mess. Imagine if one woman told you, "Good job! I watched you calmly deal with the crisis moment and you really have a way with people."

    Wouldn't you treasure her words?

    Kind words are as sweet as cool water to parched lips–and they cost us nothing

    If we put on eyes to see and mentally walk in someone else's shoes we'll know what they need to hear.  

    The big surprise is that we get back what we give out. If by our words and actions we give out love and kindness, that's what we'll receive in return. It's never too late to begin, even if it feels forced at the beginning. 

    This is not new theory. Solomon and the Apostle Paul wrote: 

    Worry weighs us down; a cheerful word lifts us up . . . Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.

                    Proverbs 12:25 (The Message) and Ephesians 4:29  NIV

    This is hardest to maintain within our marriages and families, because both are 24/7 and we have no place to hide.

    When we blow it–and we will–we lay our failures at the cross of Jesus and begin again.

    There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.    Romans 8:1  ESV

    How can we change from within? Where do we start?

    And exactly how does that work? I know no better answer than this:

    Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he [or she] is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.    2 Corinthians 5:17   ESV

    When we trust in Jesus, we have a Helper who walks with us through every day and gives us strength to become the individuals who brighten the world we live in. Because our words lift up the people around us.

    And isn't that who we want to be?

    Blessings from one who learned to mind her mindset,

    Lenore 

    You can change your world with your words