News flash: Someone is watching you every minute of every day, someone who means no harm.
Watching me? Me?
Yes, you.
Every minute of every day?
Yep. Every minute. Every day.
Hey, I’m just an ordinary person. Why would anyone pay attention to me?
Trust me, they do.
Like where?
Anywhere you go. On the job. In school. In your neighborhood. At home, because your children are watching you, from their earliest years on into adulthood–and beyond.
Now I know you’re putting me on. My children ignore me!
Oh no they don’t. They watch your every move and hear every word you speak.
I think that’s a crazy idea.
Think whatever you like. It’s true. Even kids who never seem to pay attention keep their eyes on you. They listen, too. Especially when you don’t want them to hear you.
Okay, if that’s true, why are they tracking me?
Because they want to pick up clues on how to live and how to treat other people.
Give me a for instance.
All right. Let’s start with these
1. Remember last week, when that clerk didn’t get your order quite right and you were ticked off? You lost your temper with her, loud and clear.
Did you notice the expression on your son’s face?
2. Or take last Thursday. You just sat down with a cup of coffee and your favorite magazine when Annie called. She goes on forever, so you told her you were sorry but you were just out the door for an appointment. Your daughter looked at you and rolled her eyes.
You fooled Annie, but not your daughter.
3. Then there was the time you bought yourself a pair of shoes you didn’t really need and couldn’t afford while on a school shopping trip with your kids. You told them, “Let’s not say anything to Dad about Mommy’s new shoes because he’s not interested in girl stuff. Okay? And does anybody want ice cream?”
Remember how you couldn’t look your kids–or your husband–in the eye that night?
Well, yeah, but it’s no big deal. Everybody does it.
Really?
Maybe not everybody, but I’m a really good person. Ask anyone.
What kind of people do you want your children to be?
Oh, I talk about that all the time. I tell them to treat other people with kindness and to tell the truth. And how they should always be up-front with us and with everyone else.
I’ve said over and over that telling the truth is important, because we need to be able to trust them.
Did you ever realize there’s more than one way to “tell” and teach? Albert Einstein expressed it this way: “Example isn’t another way to teach, it is the only way to teach.”
Moms and dads do lots of talking and we know our children tune us out.
But they never tune out what we do.
“What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say.”
That one-liner came from Ralph Waldo Emerson way back in 1875–and it still sums up a great truth that applies to every one of us. At any stage of life.
The watchers all around us will keep watching–and comparing what we say we believe to what they see us doing. As much as we may bristle at the very idea of people watching us, it’s just as true that these observers help us stay on track with being authentic.
Words are easy. Living them out is a day-to-day challenge.
Does all this sound too hard? Any time it does, fall back on this Bible verse and remember that if we trust in Jesus as our Savior, HE will enable us to keep going.
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. –Philippians 4:13 NKJV
All we have to do is start where we are, thanking God for our “helpers”. They help us stay on track to grow more and more into the persons we’ve always wanted to be.
Still learning, too,
Lenore
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