Category: Children

We all carry around within us a self-image that traces to words.

Good words and not-so-good words, usually from someone we looked up to.
Dads. Moms. Other family members. Teachers. Coaches.

If your memories of childhood only make you smile, you're blessed.

Many were not so fortunate. Maybe you've spent most of your life trying to forget what someone said or the name(s) they called you.

The people we love and respect hold the power to wound us most deeply, whether deliberately or unintentionally.

Some of us heard words like these as we were growing up

"You make me sick!"

"Can't you ever do anything right?"

"You've always been a loser and you're headed for trouble, I just know it."

Words like these lodge deep down within a child or teenager and cloud their view of themselves and what's possible.

Even between adults this kind of talk can poison self-esteem and shred the fabric of a marriage.

In some families–or marriages–hurtful remarks are so routine it may appear no one is paying attention to what's said. That doesn't mean they slide off us like rain on a windowpane. Our careless words can sting and leave scars, even–or perhaps more so–if we hear them all the time and think we're tuning them out.

(And have you noticed how one biting word leads to an even worse response?)

You and I are not immune simply because we're Christians. As usual, the Apostle Paul had something to say about this:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. –Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

The past is behind us, but the future lies ahead

It's important to know we don't have to carry around those old negative labels and messages for the rest of our lives. You are not the labels someone else hung on you!

You are you. Not perfect, but on the grow.

So dig out that old list and look at those rocks of desperation in the light of adulthood. Let them shrink down to their appropriate size, which will be close to zero.

(If you can't shake them yourself, schedule a few visits with a licensed counselor.)

After that do an honest self-assessment. If you're comfortable with it, show it to people who know you well and will give you an honest read on who you are. Let them tell you who you are.

Then believe it!

What if within our own family we specialized on life-giving words?

No parent–or spouse–is perfect, but we can change. At any age. Or rather, God can change us and we can grow into a person who speaks life.

Life-giving words can change lives.

Let's be clear. "Life-giving words" are not the same as the practice of telling children, "You're amazing!" for every little thing.

What truly helps youngsters feel good about themselves and builds their self-confidence is when we compliment their honest efforts and can smile even when they come out on the losing side. That's the time to say, "I was proud of you today. You played a good game!" (Or, "You tried really hard and that will pay off.")

The great thing–and a hard thing–is that we parents need to pay attention so our words count. "I know you studied and you did your best on that test, so I'm proud of you." "I saw you being kind to your little sister just now and that makes me proud of you and your generous heart."

This kind of compliment helps kids know what matters most. They'll stand a little taller than before you spoke. Life-giving words also show that Dad or Mom value character more than simply coming out on top.

Our words gain authenticity when children can see that's how their parents live their lives, too.

It's not only children who crave words that give life

Adults are just grown-up kids who live on a steady diet of pressure. No wonder husbands and wives hunger to hear good words from each other.

But over time it's oh so easy to lose touch and to live as "married singles."

Life-giving words nourish and strengthen the marriage bond, even when it seems to be gasping for life. Force-feeding sweet words feels phony–and it is. Steady and sincere love–in word and actions–is far more effective, recognizing from the start that new growth may take time.

What kind of words?

"I know you have it within you to be a success at whatever you do."

"Thanks. I appreciate you."

"It means so much to know I can always count on you."

"I love you."

Do you think a steady diet of such words would change the climate within a home–or send a youngster into the world feeling secure?

(Would it make your heart smile if your wife or husband frequently spoke to you that way?)

Again, Paul lays out our motivation.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility,gentleness and patience. . . . And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. –Colossians 3:12,17 (NIV)

There you have it, the basis for all our words. Within our own homes, our own marriages and families, let's speak words that give life to the people around us.

They're the gift that truly does keep giving–for life.

Still growing, too,

Lenore
Who told you who you are–and do you still believe it?

June 13, 2018
This time of year most older high-schoolers–and their parents–are tied up in knots about what comes next.

Everyone wants to make the absolutely right choice.

College graduates are tense, too, looking for the absolutely perfect job.

That could be a long wait.

Recent graduates often feel dumped out in a world that's nothing like the dream they bought with their student loans. Some resign themselves to any job they can get that includes a regular paycheck. Others keep chasing their ideal.

Life is hard. How many of us tell our kids that beforehand?

1. Tell your kids the truth

One columnist noted that today's graduates grew up with parents who continually asked, "How does that make you feel, Honey?"

No wonder the world of employment offers a rude shock. Bosses seldom ask, "How do you feel about that?"

Employers want employees to show up on time, stay until quitting time and get the job done well and on schedule. They concentrate on the bottom line because unless their business turns a profit, there's no money to stay in business.

Or issue paychecks.

We do our kids no favor when we groom them to expect life should feel cozy and warm, like a mommy's hug.

2. Be a true friend to your children

A good friend speaks truth, even when we don't want to hear it. Our children deserve the same from us.

Sooner or later, most of us learn the no-nonsense foundation for success along the way. In school, in the job world, or even in our personal lives, here's the formula:

W-O-R-K.

Sounds hopelessly outdated, doesn't it?

That's especially true after hearing commencement speakers–and parents–who so often tell young people, "Follow your bliss! Live for your dreams! Refuse to settle for less than what makes you happy!"

Then someone will bring up Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, who became a billionaire at age twenty-seven.

Reality check: How many Mark Zuckerbergs do you know personally?

3. Plant good seeds, so your kids can harvest good fruit

Love your children enough to speak lasting truth. Even in a dream job, they will have to prove themselves.

Most employees start at the bottom. It will be a slow climb from there.

They will not like parts of it. Guaranteed. Life is hard, remember? This is what hard looks like.

A runner talked of training for a track meet. "Runners know you must keep your eyes on your goal. If you waver and look down at the track your energy goes to what's under your feet and you'll lose the race."

To build a strong career, marriage or family we can't allow small annoyances to get us down. We need to fasten on what's good and let the other stuff go.

4. Nail it home that a good life does not depend on having every dream come true

Give your children a lasting gift. Tell them nobody has everything they want or everything as they want it to be.

Help them understand that individuals who expect that or insist upon it set themselves up for lasting discontent.

Wealth and achievements can never fill our inner emptiness because there will never be enough of either.

Happiness and satisfaction stem from how we look at life and from thanking God for our blessings.

A grateful spirit is a contented spirit.

5. Remember to pass on eternal truths

Be sure your children learn about Jesus Christ, our Savior. Worship together as a family and cultivate friendships with other Christian families.

Faith is the real key to a fulfilling life and peace within.

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. –Psalm 29:11

Jesus said:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." –Matthew 6:33

Life in the real world is unpredictable and the only solid Rock is Jesus.

What we're talking about is helping our kids take on life without life getting the best of them. We moms and dads do that all along, little by little as we encourage them to keep trying and try again and to keep going. And we dole out love and hugs every chance we get.

Parenting is a process that goes on as long as we live, even though it changes form over the years.

Call it what it is: Privilege. Blessing. Joy.

Thanking God, too,

Lenore

Tell your kids the facts about life in the real world

May 30, 2018
Someone has said, "When a child is born, a mother is born."

It may be hard to imagine of our own moms, but it's true. Every mother since time began has groped her way through unknown territory, made mistakes and learned on the job.

I know people who consider their moms angels.

I also know a few who've always blamed their mothers for ruining their lives and they long to erase even their memory of them.

Probably most of us fall somewhere in between.

Knowing now what I wish I knew then

My mother died way too young, a few months after she turned 54. It took me a long time to understand how much of her is in me.

Like my love of music.

All I knew as a preacher's kid was that my parents were always up front. Mom always played the organ or piano for everything.

She also gave piano lessons. Every day one or more kids, usually towed by eager parents, showed up in our living room after school. With them came the standard admonition: "Be quiet."

That meant my job was to keep my three noisy, energetic sisters quiet for most of an hour and often to get supper started. The clock never moved slower! All in all, I considered Mom's music more a nuisance than a blessing.

I yearned for a "normal" mother

As far back as I can remember once the evening chores were done Mom would play the piano for her own enjoyment, often the music of classical composers.

Music had drawn my parents together in the beginning, so when Dad had a free night he often joined her, his beautiful tenor soaring while she accompanied him.

Small wonder that many a Sunday he would not only preach, but sing a solo while Mom, the organist/pianist accompanied him.

The congregation always loved it. I knew my parents were talented, but as a kid I wished they were sitting with us in the pew instead of always up front.

What I didn't understand in time

Because of who she was I became familiar with classical and folk melodies and absorbed music through my pores. Every time I hear some of Mom's favorites, I think of her.

I wish I had told her that while I had the chance.

Mom left more than music behind. With her love of beauty and sense of style she made the most of Dad's small salary. She'd stick one zinnia in a vinegar bottle and have a centerpiece.

Besides that, she knew how to jazz up an old outfit and give it some style. My mother probably learned that from her mother, who made fancy hats and clothing and turned out intricate needlework.

Mom held her own in the kitchen, too. She knew how to make food taste good and look good.

The perpetual student

Most of her life my mother kept on learning, everything from trying a new recipe to mastering a challenging concerto.

Was she perfect? No. Is anyone?

I think the demands of her life often overwhelmed her. Today I view her failings more charitably than I once did, probably because I know my own so well.

I know now Mom did what most of us do, the best she knew how. I thank God for her life and her faithfulness.

My mom believed in Jesus

Because she absolutely trusted Him and believed Bible verses like this, she did not fear death.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. –John 3:16 (ESV)

Like her, I live in the forgiveness all believers share and I know when Mom stopped breathing she went home to Him.

Yet my mother lives within me still, as elusive as the whiff of a fragrance I can't quite identify.

And I am grateful, so grateful.

Question for you: In what way(s) do you carry your mother with you?

Blessings and joy,

Lenore

Mothers, the lingering fragrance in our minds and hearts

May 10, 2018
Are you finding it difficult to get into the spirit of Christ-mas? Me, too.

Consider this an intervention.

Take a few minutes to watch these preschoolers answer questions. (I dare you not to smile.)

Charming young children, unscripted answers, what's not to love? Oh sure, they were a bit fuzzy on the details.

Still, in their innocence and simplicity they have the essence of the miracle of Christmas: Jesus came.

Jesus Christ, truly and fully God from before Day One of Creation, chose to come to earth as a human child, born to a human mother.

Jesus, born as a baby in a stable in Bethlehem (Luke 2:1-20.) Born like any human infant to a human mother. Mary, who was a virgin and chosen to be his mother. You see, Jesus was the Son of God. (Luke 1:26-38.)

Joseph's part in the story was that the angel told him he would be Jesus' earthly father and he then married Mary (Matthew 1:18-25.)

Have we heard these readings so often we forget it's a miracle story?

What gets into us adults that we lose our marvels?

Blame it on thoughts of shopping and decorating and keeping up with family traditions. They shout so loudly they drown out the quiet meaning of Christmas.

Do you recognize these questions?

What will I give her? And him?

How much will these gifts cost? Am I spending enough to show I really care?

Will they like what I give them??

I simply have to cook and bake all the family favorites when they come home because that's what they expect. That's what makes it Christmas.

Christmas cards and letters! I need to get them written and mailed in time! And what about photos?

I'm exhausted already. How will I ever get it all done in time?

It's that last question that gets us down

Here's what I've learned over the years–with help from friends and family members.

The best and most lasting gift any of us can give is our love and encouragement. These cost zero dollars.

What we spend–or don't spend–is unimportant. Even young children who clamor for the latest toys on TV always lose interest in any item after a few days.

Recognize that adult and young-adult children are adults and young adults. They will manage to cope even if we don't fulfill their favorite gift requests. (We do, don't we? We know their gifts come with love.)

Cooking everything from scratch does not prove love.

It's a sure thing that this will not be the only chance our loved ones will have all year to eat a good meal.

We can decide to start a new family tradition. Making it easier on ourselves will make it calmer when we're together. (No guilt because Mom looks exhausted.) That makes it more fun for all the family.

Truth flash: Our kids don't come home for the food

Whatever the ages of our children, they come home for the love.

What they long for most of all is affirmation as individuals. The reminder that they belong. The confirmation that we, their parents, love them as they are.

We say it aloud: We love them as they are. That's the biggest gift we can give our adult children.

Are they perfect? No, they're human. Like their parents.

Do we like them as people and/or appreciate their sense of humor or whatever? Then we say so.

Are we pleased or proud about something they've done or are doing? Let's commend them and cheer them on, even if we've said the same thing before.

Are they going through a hard time or a scary passage in life? Let's reassure them that they're not alone. Jesus is with them, every step of the way. (Even if/when they know it, it's good to hear us speak it.)

First, last and always, let's tell them we pray for them every day and we know God's watching over them. (Then let's keep our promise.)

But nobody ever did that for me

Sadly, that's true for many of us. We still may long to hear such words from our own parents. Some of us never will, either because our parents have died or are out of our lives, or because they're incapable of opening up about their emotions.

Then we have a choice. We can grieve and bemoan what we lack.

Or we can forgive our parents and start fresh. Their ways don't have to be our ways.

We give our children and those that matter to us a great gift when we simply say those words of love we ache to hear, not just once, but often.

And in the speaking will be the healing for us and a blessing for them.

God still uses ordinary people

God used ordinary people, Mary and Joseph, carry out His plan. People like you and me.

Jesus told us we are to be salt and light in the earth. We ordinary people are to "season" the world around us and shine the sunshine of God's love where we are.

That starts right where we are. Married or single, with or without children, there are folks around us who need us to live true to who we are in Jesus.

Christmas is more than a season. It's the miracle of God come to earth to live among us.

Christmas is all about God's plan

It's about Jesus, God come to earth in human form, to be our Savior and Lord.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. –John 3:16 ESV

Dear reader, this year when you hear the Christmas story may you feel the awe and wonder of a little child. Jesus came for you!

And for me,

Lenore
Learning about Christmas from a few preschoolers

November 29, 2017
Many parents suppose they can delay talking to their children about sex until their preteen years.

Waiting "until the time is right" is too late. Kids learn about everything–including sex–from their earliest years.

Think of children as video recorders with legs and you won't be far wrong

Long before we think it matters, kids pick up information and impressions about sex, even when they have no idea what it means. They file these bits and pieces in their memory banks.

Most of all, they watch how Mommy and Daddy treat each other.

Mommy and Daddy seem to kiss for a very long time

Daddy comes home sweaty from the job or a workout–and takes a shower–then winks at Mommy

She sprays on perfume when she dresses or just before he walks through the door

Mommy and Daddy smile at each other a lot and he pats her on the rear when he walks by

Children watch everything–and learn.

They don't quite understand the why of it, but they draw impressions that marriage is different. Something special.

What about television?

Make no mistake, TV shows–even cartoon shows–convey messages. Not only what's said, but also how characters interact.

How family members react to what's onscreen is crucial. Picture a shapely blond wearing way too few clothes cavorting across the TV screen. If Dad whistles or says, "Wow, look at that!" he's teaching.

Mom might watch some musclebound hunk, sigh and then say, "Isn't he the handsomest thing you've ever seen?" She's teaching, too.

We all know the standard television fare:

Crude jokes and suggestive language

One character using another

Bed-hopping between singles who just met

Unfaithfulness between married folks

The "absolutely mandatory" gay individual in every sitcom–who always turns out to be much more sensitive and caring than characters who are straight

Every one of these "entertainment" shows instructs. About something.

Any time onscreen words and actions contradict what we tell our kids at other times, we miss out on a natural teaching opportunity.

How? A familiar principle applies here: More is caught than taught.

Children have no filter

It's not just cartoons and sitcoms. Kids also listen in to TV talk shows we think they tune out.

If we say not a word, they'll likely conclude what they're seeing and hearing must be okay, because our silence implies our approval.

Be pro-active. It may inconvenience you, but pause the TV or turn it off. Then talk through what's just been said or shown and help your children understand the right and wrong of it. Anchor what you say in your family's life and faith standards.

It's prime time for setting right attitudes

Home is meant to provide the counter-balance for wrong attitudes pressing in from every side.

Seize the moment, often, to quietly tell your children again how God wants us to live.

Keep your goal in mind: To help your youngsters understand how God's standards differ from the wrong behavior they see around them. Little by little they'll form their own strong foundation of faith that gives them a basis for right behavior.

Feeling overwhelmed? Most of us do. It helps to have some good books with appealing art and kid language for them to read. Scour your Christian bookstore to find what's age-appropriate

The books I know best are the Learning About Sex series from Concordia Publishing House, a Christ-centered publisher. These books feature trustworthy material geared to girls and boys of specific ages. A new revised and updated edition of all the books in the Series was just issued.

I wrote the book for parents, How to Talk Confidently with Your Child about Sex. It takes you through all the stages of your child’s development to assist you in providing accurate biological facts. You'll find suggestions for establishing behaviors, values, and attitudes of a growing Christian.

If this sounds like a reference book, yes. If you expect it to sound scholarly, no. The tone is conversational.

The overall theme of my book–and every book in this Series–is that sexuality is God's good and precious gift to each of us, meant to be the cause of rejoicing between husband and wife.

What if mom and dad have failed in that? We turn to Jesus, to his love and forgiveness, and begin again. This book stresses God's grace in Christ.

Parents rank at the top

It's sobering to realize that how we moms and dads live our lives really counts with our children.

Example weighs more than words.

Every survey of teenagers proves the same point. Teens say their parents are the biggest influence in their children's lives.

That lasting parental influence is built, layer by layer. Day by day.

Don't worry if you stumble along the way. As you integrate bits of information and opinion, you'll feel more at ease talking about sex with your kids.

Think of yourself as the first line of defense against wrong ideas and media influence.

Relax. Trust. Pray

By the way, no parent does everything right.

We all do the best we can with what we know at the time. And we pray, trusting the God who loves our children even more than we.

Then we relax, knowing each of our children is His gift to us.

Feeling shaky?

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.                              –Isaiah 41:10 ESV

Blessings and joy,

Lenore

Your comments welcomed!

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Who do you think is teaching your kids about sex?

August 21, 2015
I remember being an earnest young mom trying so hard to do everything right and be sure our little darlings were safe.

One dear older lady watched me washing off my toddler and every surface around her. If our little girl dropped a toy I'd snatch it up and wash it before giving it back to her.

This sweet older friend said, "Aw Honey, don't worry about a little dirt. We all eat a bushel of dirt before we die, anyhow."

I stared at her in shock, wondering if she was kidding.

She wasn't.

Because I was young and insecure–and informed!–I assumed she simply didn't know better, so I paid no attention. The washing and wiping continued.

The "experts" are agreeing with her

After years of advising us to use not only soap and water, but sanitizers and wipes so we can be super-clean, now they're saying, "Well, maybe not."

The new thinking is that all that washing and sanitizing is part of the reason we have super-germs.

Put another way, ever-present "normal" germs got wiped away. Bacteria that survived mutated and got stronger.

What we have now are "super bugs," resistant to the usual antibiotics, placing both children and adults at greater risk.

"Don't get dirty!" may not be such good advice

Anxious moms don't like little ones to play in the dirt because, well, who knows what's in it?

Here's what WebMD says about kids and dirt:

"The 'hygiene hypotheses' holds that when exposure to parasites, bacteria, and viruses is limited early in life, children face a greater chance of having allergies, asthma, and other autoimmune diseases during adulthood.

". . . Just as a baby's brain needs stimulation, input, and interaction to develop normally, the young immune system is strengthened by exposure to everyday germs so that it can learn, adapt, and regulate itself, notes Thom McDade, PhD, associate professor and director of the Laboratory for Human Biology Research at Northwestern University."

In a recent study they found that children who were around animals and who had more cases of diarrhea before they were two years old had less incidence of inflammation in their bodies as they grew into adulthood.

That's important because now they know inflammation links to many chronic adult illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease and Alzheimer's.

McDade goes on to say, "Microbial exposures early in life may be important . . . to keep inflammation in check in adulthood."

Out of love and good intentions we've been trying to raise our kids in germ-free environments. Who would have guessed we may be depriving them of the opportunity to build a strong immune system for life?

Much like my long-ago older friend, Professor McDade advocates common sense: "You don't have to wash or sanitize everything."

Here's my simple conclusion

God created the earth and everything in it. Obviously, that includes the dirt under our feet.

God makes us one-of-a-kind and gifts human beings with the ability to think, giving some an affinity for science and medicine.

Nothing surprises our loving God, because the Bible tells us He is all-knowing. Period. He knows everything that is to come and exactly what mankind will need to handle it.

That means you and I can say with the writer of Psalm 121:7:

The LORD will keep you from all harm– he will watch over your life;

So relax, dear friend. God's got it all covered.

(Besides, we'll eat a bushel of dirt before we die.)

Lovingly,

Lenore

Moms, don’t be afraid of dirt!

March 12, 2015
Just the other day I heard a mom say, "I love my kids, but somewhere along the way I lost myself."

Another mom said, "My children are my life! They take all my time and fill up all my heart.

"But the other night my husband told me at work he's respected and looked up to, but at home he feels invisible.

"I couldn't tell him what I was feeling, which is that I have nothing left to give."

Can you relate?

Being a mom takes all we have and then some. It can blot out everything and everyone else and leave us feeling wrung-out.

Beware making it a way of life.

What's that supposed to mean?

When our four girls were growing up I often felt up to my eyeballs in responsibilities–and I was.

A wonderful friend from our church told me early on. "Always remember you started with the two of you and the love between you. Guard your marriage relationship well.

"Find a way to make time each day for the two of you. You both need that connecting to remember who you are.

"I always made sure Jim knew I loved him most and I can tell you, it works. We still had something going between us when our kids grew up and went off to their own lives."

We knew by their body language it worked, so we tried to live it.

Yes, it makes a difference.

It's possible to be too proud of being a "good mother"

Everyone knows someone always described as "such a good mom she puts the rest of us to shame."

She always picks up the slack for her kids. She helps them with homework and cleans up their messes. Runs to the school with forgotten lunches and gym clothes. Fights their battles against "too hard on them" teachers and anyone who ever picks on her child. And of course, she always goes along on school field trips.

She does it all out of love, so who would fault her?

Call me crazy, but I would.

Okay, smarty pants, what makes a good mom or a good dad?

For awhile I was impressed by a mom like that who lived up the road. I was convinced she must be a better mother.

Thank God I heard an older friend state her philosophy of being a mom:

"A mother's job is to work herself out of a job–long before her children leave home."

She explained what she meant. We parents need to let our children learn from their choices and mistakes. If they forget their homework, their grade will suffer–and they'll learn. If they forget their gym clothes they'll sit on the bench and be bored–and never forget again. If they don't take their lunch today, they may be hungry, but they'll remember to take it tomorrow.

A youngster who learns from (small) choices and (small) mistakes grows up knowing that everything is a choice–and every choice has a consequence, good or bad.

That's a handy thing to know all through life and makes for stronger individuals.

Which, come to think of it, helps Mom remember who she is and why she married Dad.

We lived it at our house and it works.

In fact, that's the basis for my book, Godly Moms: Strength from the Inside Out. (See book cover and link on the sidebar.)

With love,

Lenore

How to survive being a mom

October 23, 2014
Even though we know education has changed radically, most of us think we pretty much know what's being taught. Even sex education classes, which used to be controversial, have become routine in most public schools.

Besides, we can trust the carefully-chosen books our local schools give out to students. Right?

Maybe not.

Back in August one mom in Fremont, CA, bothered to read this new textbook, slated for use this fall with 9th graders in Fremont Unified School District high schools.

She was shocked by the section on sex–and said so. She told others and more parents demanded a look-see. Protests grew.

One mom said, "The main thing is this book treats the kids as adults and the content is adult. For a 14-year old kid, to introduce him to these things, I don't think it is right at this stage."

What things? Listen to a dad: "When I looked at the book, I couldn't believe the topics that were in there. . . Bondage? How is that a healthy thing to teach a ninth-grade student?"

That's not all

Your Health Today is published by McGraw Hill. Board members who spent $204,600 to purchase it pronounced it a textbook on healthy living, with one section devoted to sex. One says a poll of students revealed many ninth-graders in their schools already are sexually active, so they need to know "the facts."

Over 1,700 parents objected to the "facts" depicted. They signed a petition to remove the book, which covers sexual positions, fantasies and games, how to use vibrators and sex toys, bondage with ropes, handcuffs and blindfolds–and more.

Like how to tell your sexual partner(s) about previous sexual partners.

Like how to find sex websites and where to buy various equipment.

When school officials and board members finally met with the standing-room-only crowd of protesters, comments went on for hours. Later it was announced the book will not be used this fall.

I don't live in Fremont. Why should I care?

If you, like me, believe what's taught in the schools affects our society, either now or in years to come, it matters.

We all need to pay attention and be informed, then speak up. If we don't, who will?

But let's be constructive instead of critical. Let's appreciate the many good teachers who day-after-day do their best to instruct and care for students. Let's encourage parents and teens in our community and church who are trying.

Even if our children are grown we have a part to play. Suppose instead of negative comments we daily prayed for harried parents and teachers–and teenagers–who are dealing with life as it is today.

Living God's way in today's warped society is hard. A good word from you or me could recharge them not to wimp out.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. –1 Thessalonians 5:11

We are here today and this is the world we live in

This one school made the news, but that doesn't mean it's the only one using questionable teaching materials or practices.

Here are links to earlier posts that talk about that.

http://awomansview.typepad.com/a_womans_view/2013/08/get-your-kids-ready-for-the-new-gender-attitudes-at-school.html

http://awomansview.typepad.com/a_womans_view/2011/10/are-you-female-male-both-or-neither.html

We are not alone!

It helps to be informed with current information and terminology, presented with a Christian perspective. The books I know best are in the well-respected Learning about Sex series from Concordia Publishing House, now in its Fifth Edition. (See link and more info in right-hand column.)

If all this sounds daunting, let's remember this.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. –2 Timothy 1:7

Growing, too,

Lenore

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September 4, 2014
You might be in for a surprise next time you visit your pediatrician's office.

When the doctor asks how your child is eating and sleeping, you'll probably hear another question, "Are you reading aloud to your youngster every day?"

That's because the American Academy of Pediatrics just issued a new policy statement. It says books are like medicine and pediatricians should prescribe their daily use.

Why? Books are important in building up the brains of very young children.

(If your kids are older, keep reading.)

Pediatricians will be emphasizing how important it is to read aloud every day, even to infants. The docs say keep it up at least until your children enter kindergarten because many studies prove reading pays lifelong health benefits.

LeVar Burton chimes in

He's been the host of PBS's Reading Rainbow for 26 years. He and his partner recently developed the program as a tablet app and it's been downloaded over a million times. As you'd guess, LeVar is a big supporter of reading to kids.

In a July 6, 2014, interview in Parade, he notes that Americans read far less for pleasure than they did in 1983. That's when Reading Rainbow got started.

The reporter asked him whether older children need to keep reading during summer vacation. He answered, "There's a critical window where a child either becomes a reader or not–for life. Between the ages of 7 and 9 is when that decision is made.

"Parents ask me, 'How can I get my kid to read?' I say, How much time do you spend reading in front of your kid?"

Le Var stresses the importance of having books around your house. He also recommends families have a weekly night when TVs and gadgets stay turned off and it's family reading night.

That's leading by example.

More is caught than taught.

When our children see us reading and know we enjoy it, they understand that reading matters and it's for all of life.

Make summer vacation count

Studies show kids who don't read during summer vacation lose ground in their reading ability. Just 20 minutes a day can keep them up to speed. What to do? Be creative. For instance:

Set up a reading contest, with prizes. Make the prize something your kids really want, something you know they're dreaming of. Make wall charts where each child can note books read.

Patronize your local public library. Many libraries now have lending libraries for Kindle editions, too.

Take your kids shopping for books of their own. Cut costs by patronizing discount stores or used book stores. Provide a small bookcase for their library, or at least a pair of bookends.

Let your children read books above their grade level. It's a great way to develop language skills. They'll learn to figure out meanings of unfamiliar words from the context.

Reading to and with our children is one of those things in family life that seem small at the time. But it pays off big-time in benefits for children and happy memories.

I know it's true because I grew up with reading parents. As a kid I read everything I could get my hands on and still do. Our four girls loved owning books and walking out of the library with their own pile of books. It paid off well in their reading and spelling proficiency.

Warmly,

Lenore

To read the article in Parade and get LeVar Burton's Summer Reads, click this link: http://parade.condenast.com/311768/merylgordon/levar-burtons-reading-revolution/

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July 7, 2014
The only time we know how to raise children perfectly is before we have any.

Why wouldn't that be true? God creates each child to be one-of-a-kind, whether our children come to us by birth, by adoption, or because we marry a man who already is a dad.

That plunges us into a lifelong process of stretching. Growing. Learning.

We soon discover that being a mom means whatever else we may be involved in, our children remain constantly in our minds and in our hearts.

Being a mom takes all we have and then some

When our four daughters were growing up I loved them and every bit of our life, but I often felt up to my eyeballs in responsibilities.

I never once wanted to quit, but I longed to find a better way.

About that time God sent an older friend who shared her philosophy of mothering: "A mother's job is to work herself out of a job–long before her children leave home."

That "radical" thought made sense to me

Along with feeding, clothing and teaching our children, we moms are to prepare them for life. We hear all the time that life is tough, even for kids. Away from us they're on their own, whether it's at child care or in school.

When we help them develop inner strength we're living out the Golden Rule:

[Jesus said] "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

I can't think of a more loving and lasting gift we can give our children, can you?

My husband and I decided to borrow my wise friend's principles of parenting. Before long we noticed the change in our family. It seemed we all liked each other more–and ourselves, too. Over the years we watched our daughters grew into strong adults.

Those years taught me and became background for my latest book Godly Moms – Strength from the Inside Out

This collection of short pieces can be read in snatches of time. Here's one to hang onto when you're feeling stressed.

—————————————-

MADE FOR EACH OTHER

Your family is no accident. God gave you to each other.

Each child who calls you "Mom" was created just for you.

God placed you together because you need each other.

Let those sentences sink deep into your heart and your mind.

This is true even when you have conflicts and diffficulties. Even if you are as different as plums and peanut butter. Even though it seems you always say or do the wrong thing with one of your children.

Your Designer Kids need you, not the Ms. Flawless Mom who lives on the corner.

And vice versa.

You don't need the placid child next door, nor Super Kid across the street. You need that one who most often baffles you or challenges you.

God tailor-makes our children to stretch us.

To teach us.

To grow us.

Mothering opens our minds and strips away old, comfortable illusions about life.

And about ourselves.

Day after day, we're forced to cope. As we do, we may discover strengths we didn't know we had.

Weaknesses too.

No mom would label this process easy or comfortable. Growing pains never are.

When you feel overwhelmed, reassure yourself with what you know. God put together the pieces of your family jigsaw puzzle according to His plan.

It is a good one.

So walk on, trust Jesus, and be at peace.

Like your kids, you're in the process of becoming. Your heart will never shrink back to its original size.

[The Lord says,] "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." —Jeremiah 1:5a

(Excerpted from Godly Moms – Strength from the Inside Out, published by Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis.)

Moms, if you feel in over your head, take heart. Every day you leave footprints on tomorrow.

Blessings and love,

Lenore

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