Category: Children

We moms pray for our kids all their lives, that God would keep them safe. But have you ever prayed about cinnamon?

Yep. Turns out it has become a real danger for preteens and teens.

Oh, it's not the cinnamon on a yummy breakfast roll or a piece of fragrant cinnamon toast that causes problems.

Rather, it's "the cinnamon challenge," which at first sounds silly and harmless, like many acttivities that catch on with adolescents.

This one goes beyond risky to extremely dangerous.

How could common, wonderful-smelling cinnamon be a hazard? Melissa Arca, M.D., laid out the facts in her Sacramento Bee article of April 10, 2012.

According to Dr. Arca, the cinnamon challenge amounts to a public dare–and what adolescent can resist a dare? That's part of the problem. The other part is it doesn't sound particularly hazardous, even to adults. What could be so bad about swallowing a simple tablespoon of dry cinnamon in under 60 seconds without drinking anything?

Here's the catch. Cinnamon cannot be dissolved by saliva alone.

Dr. Arca says once a person has that much dry cinnamon in their mouth and tries to swallow it, gagging and choking immediately follow. What's more, the choking usually leads to vomiting and sometimes, to aspirating cinnamon into the lungs. Lung collapse may follow, or pneumonia. Some who try it even end up on a ventilator. Kids with asthma are extremely vulnerable and could experience a severe attack.

She advises immediate medical intervention, which strikes me as an unrealistic statement. What kid would try this while their pediatrician–or parent–stands nearby?

Because Dr. Arca stated that poison control centers report a recent spike in calls about the cinnamon challenge, I checked the website of the American Association of Poison Control Centers.

They AAPCC issued a press release warning dated March 28, 2012. In it they explain that powdered or ground cinnamon quickly coats the mouth and throat, which interferes with swallowing . Breathing difficulty follows and teens may unintentionally breathe the spice into their lungs. This can cause pneumonia and/or a serious attack for asthmatics.

Social media takes it viral. Again

Predictably, teens and preteens want to post "funny" videos of themselves or someone else attempting to pull it off on their cell phones or on YouTube.

That's why you can Google "the cinnamon challenge." It has its own website, Facebook page and Twitter handle.

Even Wikipedia lists "cinnamon challenge." That entry notes that cinnamon contains coumarin, a moderately toxic chemical compound. It also notes that European health agencies have warned against ingesting "large amounts" of cinnamon.

We might write this off as a fad, just more amusing antics of the young if it weren't life-threatening.

Building in strength to resist dares like these

Most parents, grandparents and caregivers already warn youngsters over and over about the need to be cautious and careful. Every day in every way.

(As you've probably noticed, kids specialize in tuning out such lectures.)

It seems to me a more hellpful strategy is to aim our efforts at helping our kids develop inner strength–and the sooner, the better. That means talking to our children from little on about making good choices. It helps if they see us living this out ourselves.

No way can we keep our kids in a cage, like exotic birds. They're growing up in the real world. Moms and dads need to equip them to live in it.

Teach them the line you probably heard from your mom:

It doesn't matter what someone else does or says, it's up to YOU to choose what you will do.

It's as true now as ever.

Talk empowerment instead of restrictions

Especially during their adolescent years, youngsters ache to belong. Some habitually look around them to see what others are doing, then mimic it. Blame it on the desire to be popular or on fear of being left out.

At any age, real strength and freedom come from within, from quietly knowing who we are and what we stand for. If our children have a faith background they'll have an advantage during adolescence. Christian kids learn early on about the difference between right and wrong. They also hear often that God loves and forgives them even when they mess up.

Helping our kids establish and rely on their inner standards is like equipping them with inner armor. Knowing what's good and right and true gives them a sure path through the hazards that lurk all through these preteen and teen years.

Hazards like the cinnamon challenge, all the things youngsters will view as fun, nothing more.

Maybe that's why we keep on praying.

Blessings,

Lenore

Moms, did you know cinnamon could be dangerous?

April 13, 2012
Most of us could use a transfusion of smiles and energy about now. So sit back, put your feet up and watch these beautiful children. You won't want to miss a move.

Even if you've seen this before, I promise it will make you smile all over again and give you an energy lift.

Fifth-graders who live in the Yupik Eskimo village of Quinhagak, Alaska, pop. 555 at the 2,000 census, put this together as a school computer project, intended for other Yupik villages in the area.

By now more than 1,200,000 people have viewed this performance of the "Hallelujah" chorus from Handel's Messiah.

Take a moment to marvel at what God can do with the work of one individual.

In 1741, George Frideric Handel considered himself something of a failure. Then he composed the entire score of Messiah over a period of 24 days. He is said to have felt God gave him the music, but he could not predict how this music would endure.

He could not have imagined that 360 years later, Eskimo children in a small Alaskan village would treat us to this creative performance accompanied by a choir singing the "Hallelujah" chorus.

Tthe teacher of this class in that small Eskimo school could not foresee anyone in any other place would ever see this video.

There's a lesson here for you and me

As individuals and as moms and dads we cannot know what God will do with our work–or our child's work.

Handel composed many other musical works, but only his "Hallelujah" chorus is sung and hummed all over the world. His Messiah is performed every Christmas season by choruses and choirs in huge cities and in tiny villages on every continent. At the time he could not have guessed the value of his work.

I can't help thinking of this Bible verse.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. –Ephesians 2:10

That verse wasn't aimed only at Handel and other famous people. It speaks to you and me, too.

Think you're on a treadmill and going nowhere?

Perhaps today you question the value of your life. Maybe you're facing your first Christmas alone after losing a loved one.

If you're a mom, your family most often notices what you do when you don't do it. Put a positive spin on that. Being taken for granted also means your family knows they can count on you.

Forget looking elsewhere to find your particular "good works." You're living with them. What's more, the family life you create, the love you pour into your days will live on in your children. Every day you are coloring their lives–and their picture of life.

Joy comes from giving ourselves fully and from knowing that what we do matters, whether we see the end result or not. God is faithful. What we do in faith will live on, one way or another.

Believe it. Let that truth put fresh energy in your tired body.

Then look again at the smiles on the faces of those Eskimo school children and sing Hallelujah! in your heart.

Someone needs us, needs our kind words, needs our encouragement. Those are gifts, too.

Now, let's enjoy this wonderful Christ-mas season of giving ourselves,

Lenore

Declare a “joy break” and refresh your heart

December 16, 2011
Every day children absorb messages about sex, either implied or in-your-face.

They soak them up from Mom and Dad. From TV cartoons and sitcoms. From the neighbors and from what teachers say and do, as well as from sex education classes.

Truths and errors drip into young minds. Kids fit them together like pieces of a puzzle and come up with their picture of what it means to be a "male" or a "female."

Prescription: Start early to lay a solid foundation

It's not possible to grab our kids and run because, well, we live in the world.

Our best strategy is to help our sons and daughters lay down solid footings on which they can build sound lives.

Call this equipping what it is: your privilege.

It's never too early and never too late. You will bless your children for life.

The idea is to make this part of casual everyday conversations. Help your children know the values you hold. Talk about the "whys" as well as the "what."

Arm your kids with the truth about sexuality and with right values. "Sexuality" and "sexual identity" go beyond body parts and sexual intercourse and involve the whole person. Males and females think differently and respond differently, both in body and mind.

Our Creator built that into us.

Are there variations between one male and another male? One female and another female? Of course, but none so striking as the differences between one gender and the other.

Mom and Dad are teaching all the time

Have you noticed that youngsters pay the most attention when you're not talking to them?

Your kids watch Mommy and Daddy and think that's how males and females are supposed to relate. When you treat each other with respect and speak well of each other, you give them a strong model to live by. Your love pats and long kisses bear witness that being married offers a lasting attraction.

What kids observe at home, day after day, outweighs whatever they may be taught in sex education classes.

Even teenagers, in numerous surveys, overwhelmingly name their parents as their most important influence.

What else can you do?

Make it a point to watch allowed television shows with your family, so you can help your kids catch innuendos and blatant sexual messages and identify sexy clothing. Talk about shows after they end. See if your kids picked up subtle messages and correct wrong impressions.

As you help your youngsters connect the dots they'll develop their own internal filters. Over time your children will begin to look and listen to life's pressures with better judgment, even when you're not around. They'll be wiser as they use their computer(s) and all the other techie marvels.

Tell it like it is

From the beginning, use the correct terminology. (If you're not sure what that is, buy a reliable book written from a Christian perspective.)

Whatever you say, frame it in the context of God's perfect design. If you read the first two chapters of Genesis, you'll notice He saved the best for last: Adam and Eve. Human beings. He told them to be fruitful and increase in number.

God saw all that he had made and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning–the sixth day. Genesis 1:31

As Christian parents, help your children develop God's view of sexuality. His good gift. Too precious to be squandered in thoughtless and casual ways.

Too wonderful to waste.

You can do it!

God gave you your children, more of his good gifts. He would not entrust you with your ohildren without empowering you for your task.

Peace and joy,

Lenore

Teaching your kids about sex. When, where, by whom?

September 30, 2011
Let's face it. Kids sniff out phoniness faster than a bloodhound after a bank robber.

Youngsters assume their observations on How Adults Really Live are way more accurate than the frequent parental blah, blah, blahs they hear.

Every day situations provide built-in object lessons that prove (to them, at least) whether we mean what we tell them.

No wonder they stay alert, ready to pick up on how Mom (and Dad) respond in one situation or another.

* A cashier gives Mommy change for a $20-dollar bill when she paid with a ten-spot.

* Mom falls for a gorgeous pair of shoes–another gorgeous pair of shoes. She leaves the bag in the car until her husband goes off to a meeting, then hides the shoes in the back of the closet. Some time later she wears them and Dad says, "New shoes?"

* A casual friend calls about going out to lunch and Mom answers, "Sorry, I'm already committed for the day," which isn't true.

* Mother takes Daughter shopping and finds the perfect prom dress, one that fits like a dream. Miracle of miracles, both of them like the same dress. On the way home reality hits. That dress cost twice as much as Mother planned and it has to go back. So she delivers the sad news. "Honey, we have to take this dress back."

Daughter replies, "Oh, no problem, Mom. I'll just tuck the price tag inside and wear the dress Saturday night. Then Monday we take the dress back to the store and you get all your money back. That's what all the girls do."

What's a mother to do?

Over and over we choose how we deal with life. Our choices determine which lessons our children take away. If our actions back up our words they learn one lesson. If not, we teach another.

Tough, but true, 24/7.

Whenever we lose heart it's good to remember that moms and dads hold a unique position, even today. In every survey teens still say their parents are the biggest influence in their lives. That means we impact the next generation, too.

Sounds to me like an honor and a privilege, reason to celebrate, every day.

How about you?

Lovingly,

Lenore

Mom’s most effective way to teach her children

May 3, 2011
If you haven't seen her interviewed yet, you will. Amy Chua, a Yale law professor and the mother of two teenage girls, wrote a book titled Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. The day the book was released it shot to No. 6 on Amazon.

As a writer, that makes me drool.

Amy Chua is the daughter of Filipino immigrants with roots in China and a self-described "Tiger Mom." She lays out her description of the Eastern-style parenting she followed as a mom. No TV, no pets, no computer games. No playdates or sleepovers. Endless academic drills, with no grades under A tolerated. Nothing less than being the top in any class, except in gym and in drama. Prolonged, dedicated piano and violin practice, with no other instruments allowed.

As a Tiger Mother, when her children didn't comply, she called them "lazy" or "garbage." If they didn't follow the rules she threatened to burn their stuffed animals or give away favorite playthings, piece by piece, until they did. When they achieved–and they did, in many ways–she was at their side, supportive and proud.

To no one's surprise, critics have lined up on all sides.

Chua considers typical Western (American) parenting lax and undisciplined.

I admit I have not yet read Chua's book, only an Associated Press article. Yet I can't help contrasting what I learned over the years our four girls were growing up–and since. I agree that children benefit from knowing exactly what their parents expect of them. That is, set clear, loving, thoughtful limits–and stick to them.

But I believe even as we monitor, we back off and let our children have individual freedom within the "fences" we set up.

As for Amy Chua's insistance on tolerating no grades lower than A, I think that's both unrealistic and uncaring. That makes the grade more important than the child. I believe each child is a unique creation of God. One of a kind. One youngster naturally finds schoolwork a struggle, while another will find it a snap. As for pressing youngsters to be the best–or else–where does that leave the one who comes in second?

We paid attention, of course, to how our children were doing in school, in a low-pressure way. Perhaps my husband and I were naive–or perhaps we stumbled on a secret. Somehow we assumed our children were good kids who would study and turn in assignments on time. Our girls did well in school because they wanted to, not because my husband and I insisted they do. We almost never helped our children with their homework. (If they had flunked a test or a grading period, well, that would be what they chose to get by goofing off. Then they would have had to work it out with their teacher. We stayed in the background, but kept informed. At home we would have restricted their privileges until they were back on track.)

As for homework, our parenting style was to put them to work. If they didn't understand a word, we'd say, "Look it up, that way you'll remember it." If they struggled to find a solution for a problem, they knew our first question would be, "Did you go back and reread what came before so you have it clear in your mind?"

We reminded our girls that just as Mom and Dad had work to do, they had school work to do. That made getting their studies done their responsibility, not ours. That ensured they would feel justifiably good about themselves for following through. So did we, as proud of their character as their grades.

We believed–and counselors like Dr. Henry Cloud back it up–that a child's self-esteem stems from feeling competent, not from endless parental variations of, "You're terrific!"

Did we encourage each daughter to try out for various activities? Of course. If they found they couldn't do it or didn't want to, we gave them a hug and said, "That's okay."

Like most parents, we wanted each of our daughters to develop as individuals, to build on their strengths and to thrive, each in her own way and on her own timetable. For us what mattered was that our girls know we loved them the same, whether they reached the top or scraped the bottom.

Oh-oh. I guess that guarantees I will never make it as a Tiger Mother.

Here's a question for you. What do you think of Amy Chua's Tiger Moms theory? Did you find any points of agreement or disagreement? Why not click on "Comments" and tell us?

Joy in your journey,

Lenore

Are you a Tiger Mother? Should you be?

January 17, 2011
If there's one thing no parent wants to hear it's this: "Your son (or daughter) is very intelligent, no question about that. But he's just not living up to his potential."

Often the discussion goes on to various kinds of learning problems, such as ADD, some of which go on through life. A teacher or other professional may have announced the word you never wanted to hear: "dyslexia." You may have heard that and thought, "It's hopeless. My child will struggle the rest of his life."

Good news! That ain't necessarily so. Some not-so-well-known methods have been proved effective for dealing with dyslexia that are fairly simple and can transform lives.

I must confess I do not know much about dyslexia. Since September 20th I know a lot more –and you can, too. That's when I read a remarkable blog post on the blog titled, "It be's that way sometime."

The author is Roxanne, a middle-school teacher, who teaches the dyslexia class at her school. She knows her subject very well, yet she makes it easy to understand for the rest of us. I think you'll find it as fascinating as I did. Roxanne not only gives a good rundown of facts, but she also tells how she, the teacher, lately gained new understanding about the visual distortions many dyslexic individuals have. You'll feel her heart when she confesses how she, while doing the best she knew how, made mistakes. (Can we all identify?)

You can read this warm, informative post for yourself. Even if you're well-informed on the subject, I suspect you'll pick up some new bits of information. You can do a Google search on "It be's that way sometimes" and be aware that there's a song by that name, with names other than "Roxanne" attached

This should take you to Roxanne's blog. Then look for the September 20, 2010, post.

Here's the link: "It be's that way sometimes."

Later Note: If you have trouble with that link, type in   rwl10802.wordpress.com   and do a Google search. Once again, look for the September 20, 2010, post.

Once you've read Roxanne's blog post, you may want to find out more about the colored lenses and overlays she mentions on the website of the Irlen Institute. You can Google it, as I did, at "Irlen Institute."

Or use this link:    Irlen Institute, Colored Lenses, Colored Overlays, Diagnnosticians, Screeners

This website is packed with information, even self-tests and examples of the various kinds of distortions dyslexic sufferers may experience. View YouTube videos where people tell their stories of before and after. I learned that dyslexia can go beyond problems with reading. They maintain that ADD and several other conditions can be treated–with great results. In fact, a large number of people have the visual distortions without the dyslexia.

Just to be clear I have no stake in any of this and really had only a hazy understanding of dyslexia. I don't know Roxane or anyone in the Irlen Institute. I pass this information on only because when I read her blog post I couldn't get it out of my mind. So I pass it on to you FYI. I pray it will be useful to you or to someone you know.

If it is, or if you've had experience with this, would share your story in the Comments? Others may need to know what you have to share.

Meanwhile, in every situation we have hope. Here's a great verse to deposit in your memory bank:

Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.

                                                                                    –Psalm 50:15

God bless you,

Lenore

Hope for individuals with learning problems

October 6, 2010
Schools around here are back in session–or soon will be. Kids of all ages, along with adults of all ages, are trekking back, or maybe for the first time.

Education is a wonderful thing. We say that all the time, don't we? And it's true.

Still, it takes courage to take that first step, whether you're a first-grader or an adult first-timer who's been away from school for a long time. There's a saying that goes something like this, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Beginnings are like that. The "first step" is the hardest. Each one that follows feels easier.

That truth applies, even when we're beginning a new way of doing things in our personal lives. What we know always feels more comfortable and safe than stepping off into the unknown.

Every one of us has "been there, done that" at least a couple of times. We all know that sinking feeling, that self-doubt that we can handle what's ahead. What to do?

One simple tactic is to change the way we think and hang a new label on what we're feeling. Instead of "fear" and "discomfort," we can call it "excitement." After all, can't you remember times when you felt excited and you had those same butterflies? Me, too.

So if you're stepping off into the unknown–or your children are–here's a benediction on your week and for this new undertaking. We sang it at church today. First our pastor sang it to us, all of us standing. Then each side turned to face the other and we sang it together, each side to the other side. How lovely to sing these words to the smiling folks facing us!

So I "sing" it to you, with all my best wishes.

As you go on your way may Christ go with you,

May He go before you to show you the way,

May He go behind you to encourage you,

Beside you to befriend you,

Above you to watch over,

Within you to give you peace.

God bless you, whoever you are–and thanks for taking time to read this blog now and then,

Lenore

Question for you: What new activities are you–or a family member–undertaking?

A benediction for your week–and your life

August 23, 2009
"My kids have been waiting for this to start ever since last summer!" said the smiling young mother as she wiped perspiration off her forehead. She swayed from side to side, keeping her toddler quiet. "I brought our three oldest, plus two neighbor kids. Where do I sign in?"

She and her kids were part of the impatient throng that crowded into our church for the first night of Vacation Bible School this week. "I love those hot dogs and watermelon!" her preschooler announced. "Are we gonna have 'em tomorrow night, too?"

I shook my head and answered, "I don't know what the kitchen crew is planning for tomorrow night. It's a surprise!"

Once their laughing, jumping group was through I turned to the next. For 20 minutes or so parents and kids kept a dozen of us busy. Most moms and dads delivered their youngsters to their appropriate age groups, then hung around, waiting to see how it went. They needn't have bothered. Their excited kids were having too much fun to miss them. Once the parents were sure of that they walked back past our table to the door. Their faces telegraphed their feelings: Yeah! Two and a half hours of free time!

As of last night we were up to 230 kids attending, ages three through middle school. So far both kids and volunteers wear joyful expressions. Volunteers number at least 75, with the youngest age 13. The oldest is 92, loved by every kid. He's a feisty fellow who cleans up, empties trash cans and never frowns. Young to old, we work side by side, whether it's food prep, leading, crafts, putting away outside equipment or mopping floors.

Are we volunteers having fun? Yes. Would we do it again? Absolutely. Otherwise, why would we come back every year?

Cynics might wonder whether any of the work or the expense is worth it. None of us knows…but God does.

What we know is that children arrive and learn about Jesus. They learn that God loves them and watches over them, so they need not fear. Kids take turns on the playground and wait their turns for snacks. They memorize songs about Jesus and friendship and being kind to others, then sing them while waving goodbye and skipping their way out of the building. Before, during and after this week, those children and their parents have been prayed for.

I know several adults who first heard about Jesus at VBS, maybe only once or twice in their childhood. Yet they heard the Good News and seeds were planted.

So we rejoice. These parents know our VBS costs them nothing except gas money. Members of our church give this as a gift of love. We think all of it is more than worth it, if only for the fellowship we have and the joy it brings us.

Believe me, we're not naive. We know for some parents all it means is a freebie, with child care as a bonus. That's okay. When a parent says, "This is our fourth/fifth/sixth year at your VBS. Our kids love it!" we all beam from ear to ear.

They're here. We plant the seeds. The rest is up to God and his Spirit.

Blessings,

Lenore

Question for you:What are your VBS memories? Why not share them with the rest of us?

Fun in the summertime–with VBS

July 15, 2009
My apologies for what's been occupying this space these past few days. I just realized my last piece–which was not ready–accidentally got posted. Hope you'll give me another chance although being human, I can't promise it won't happen again. Here's the rest of that post in finished form.

Do you read to your children? Regularly? Good for you!

Start about the time your baby reaches six months, says The American Academy of Pediatrics. According to their website, this helps stimulate brain development. Reading together also strengthens the bond between parent and child.

Teachers say they can tell which kids have parents who read to them. These youngsters do better with reading and with language.

Vocabulary skills improve because children hear different words from those commonly spoken at home and on the playground. Think Dr. Seuss. Kids love to roll silly-sounding words around on their tongues. Youngsters figure out the meanings of occasional big words and comprehension improves. Their storehouse of language enlarges, as well as understanding and ease with words.

Once kids learn to read on their own, parents are off the hook, right? Wrong.

What better way for children to get better at reading than to read aloud to Mommy or Daddy? You may agonize as you listen to your darling read s-l-o-w-l-y. Hang in there. Consider it part of the package. You're fostering an essential skill that will help your children, throughout school and all of life. When an individual cannot read, that person faces a handicap in every area of life.

Begin early and visit your public library often. Attend preschool story-times. Help your kids pick out story books geared to their ages. Branch out beyond Disney and Big Bird. If you don't, little ones stay fixed on images already seen and heard onscreen, rather than imagining their own. (Don't we adults do the same?)

Once your kids can read, let them choose their own books. Allow a lot of freedom, but scan their choices before check out. Once in a rare while you may spot a book that makes you uncomfortable. Before you yank the book, find a quiet corner and talk about your reservations. If the summer doldrums afflict your children, be sure not to miss summer reading programs and contests–or set up your own.

Expose your youngsters to the daily newspaper, too. Read a few selected comics to them, letting them see the drawings that accompany what you read. Soon they'll be hunting down those comic strips on their own. Whet their appetite for news stories by reading aloud amusing incidents that get reported.

All of this helps your kids develop a curiosity and an awareness about the world they live in. Now and then they'll ask you to explain some term that's foreign to them. Be glad. You'll gain insights into their thinking. Ask whether they agree or disagree with what they just read. Listen patiently as they try to express themselves. Within the safe family setting children practice how to think and to state their opinions reasonably.

Will this introduce them to subjects they might be over their heads? Sometimes. Usually they'll pass over such things. If they question, use the opening to discuss and help them lay down a solid foundation for how they see life. They'll need that more with every passing year.

Most of all, let your children see you reading and enjoying it. Talk about what you are reading. As always, what they see you do outweighs what you tell them to do.

Count on it.

God bless,

Lenore

Question for you: How do you (or did you) encourage your child to read?

Why reading to–and with–your children bears good fruit

June 30, 2009