Category: Family

(I wrote this on Veteran's Day, November 11, 2009, but it's still true.)

Today is one day after the Texas Memorial for the twelve Fort Hood soldiers gunned down at the Base. (One civilian also was killed.)

These dead, too, were killed in a war, the one that remains nameless.

I watched the memorial service through tears. Perhaps you did, too. When family members processed past these soldiers' photographs, they stopped at only one. Some touched their loved one's photo, some held on with both hands, some wept openly. Their faces weren't shown, but I felt our watching world intruded on what should have been their private moment.

Every November 11th, one word screams at me: pain. The pain endured by those who serve actively and how it changes their lives. Those who love them and pray for their safety and wait for their return live with pain, too. Sometimes that pain never leaves.

Each Veteran's Day reminds me of a handsome cousin I never knew who was killed in World War II. My aunt and uncle had four younger children, but that didn't cancel their grief at losing one. Years later her eyes would tear and she took on a misty expression whenever she mentioned his name or looked at his photograph.

I understand that better now

Two of our granddaughters have served in the Navy, one in Intelligence, still serving. The other served a stint in the Medical Corps with the Marines, with one tour in Kuwait and another near Baghdad. She came home with memories that still haunt her.

My husband and I are very proud of both of them–and we still pray every day that God will keep them safe. Our entire family breathed a collective sigh of relief and thanks each time either of our granddaughters was safely back on American soil.

The tragedy at Fort Hood reminds us all that being in the Armed Forces and stationed here in the States does not guarantee safety.

I think we all need Veteran's Day, this annual reminder that Freedom is not free

We need to remember again that preserving the freedoms we so casually take for granted carries an extremely high price tag.

One U.S. Marine Corps chaplain expressed it well:

"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."

~Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, Sergeant, USMC

May we never forget that

And may we honor those who serve now, as well as those who have given of their lives in service to America

Next time you and I spot someone in uniform it will mean the world to that individual if we take time to shake their hand and say, "Thank you for your service. May God watch over you."

That may seem a small thing–and it is–but they need to know we honor them and their sacrifices for keeping America free.

None of us know what comes next. With the world as it is, let's pray every day for God's protection and preservation of this United States of America and for all those who serve you and me, at home and overseas.

God bless America and may God bless you!

Lenore

Let’s hear it for the wives! And the husbands! And the children! And the parents!

November 11, 2016
Many parents suppose they can delay talking to their children about sex until their preteen years.

Waiting "until the time is right" is too late. Kids learn about everything–including sex–from their earliest years.

Think of children as video recorders with legs and you won't be far wrong

Long before we think it matters, kids pick up information and impressions about sex, even when they have no idea what it means. They file these bits and pieces in their memory banks.

Most of all, they watch how Mommy and Daddy treat each other.

Mommy and Daddy seem to kiss for a very long time

Daddy comes home sweaty from the job or a workout–and takes a shower–then winks at Mommy

She sprays on perfume when she dresses or just before he walks through the door

Mommy and Daddy smile at each other a lot and he pats her on the rear when he walks by

Children watch everything–and learn.

They don't quite understand the why of it, but they draw impressions that marriage is different. Something special.

What about television?

Make no mistake, TV shows–even cartoon shows–convey messages. Not only what's said, but also how characters interact.

How family members react to what's onscreen is crucial. Picture a shapely blond wearing way too few clothes cavorting across the TV screen. If Dad whistles or says, "Wow, look at that!" he's teaching.

Mom might watch some musclebound hunk, sigh and then say, "Isn't he the handsomest thing you've ever seen?" She's teaching, too.

We all know the standard television fare:

Crude jokes and suggestive language

One character using another

Bed-hopping between singles who just met

Unfaithfulness between married folks

The "absolutely mandatory" gay individual in every sitcom–who always turns out to be much more sensitive and caring than characters who are straight

Every one of these "entertainment" shows instructs. About something.

Any time onscreen words and actions contradict what we tell our kids at other times, we miss out on a natural teaching opportunity.

How? A familiar principle applies here: More is caught than taught.

Children have no filter

It's not just cartoons and sitcoms. Kids also listen in to TV talk shows we think they tune out.

If we say not a word, they'll likely conclude what they're seeing and hearing must be okay, because our silence implies our approval.

Be pro-active. It may inconvenience you, but pause the TV or turn it off. Then talk through what's just been said or shown and help your children understand the right and wrong of it. Anchor what you say in your family's life and faith standards.

It's prime time for setting right attitudes

Home is meant to provide the counter-balance for wrong attitudes pressing in from every side.

Seize the moment, often, to quietly tell your children again how God wants us to live.

Keep your goal in mind: To help your youngsters understand how God's standards differ from the wrong behavior they see around them. Little by little they'll form their own strong foundation of faith that gives them a basis for right behavior.

Feeling overwhelmed? Most of us do. It helps to have some good books with appealing art and kid language for them to read. Scour your Christian bookstore to find what's age-appropriate

The books I know best are the Learning About Sex series from Concordia Publishing House, a Christ-centered publisher. These books feature trustworthy material geared to girls and boys of specific ages. A new revised and updated edition of all the books in the Series was just issued.

I wrote the book for parents, How to Talk Confidently with Your Child about Sex. It takes you through all the stages of your child’s development to assist you in providing accurate biological facts. You'll find suggestions for establishing behaviors, values, and attitudes of a growing Christian.

If this sounds like a reference book, yes. If you expect it to sound scholarly, no. The tone is conversational.

The overall theme of my book–and every book in this Series–is that sexuality is God's good and precious gift to each of us, meant to be the cause of rejoicing between husband and wife.

What if mom and dad have failed in that? We turn to Jesus, to his love and forgiveness, and begin again. This book stresses God's grace in Christ.

Parents rank at the top

It's sobering to realize that how we moms and dads live our lives really counts with our children.

Example weighs more than words.

Every survey of teenagers proves the same point. Teens say their parents are the biggest influence in their children's lives.

That lasting parental influence is built, layer by layer. Day by day.

Don't worry if you stumble along the way. As you integrate bits of information and opinion, you'll feel more at ease talking about sex with your kids.

Think of yourself as the first line of defense against wrong ideas and media influence.

Relax. Trust. Pray

By the way, no parent does everything right.

We all do the best we can with what we know at the time. And we pray, trusting the God who loves our children even more than we.

Then we relax, knowing each of our children is His gift to us.

Feeling shaky?

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.                              –Isaiah 41:10 ESV

Blessings and joy,

Lenore

Your comments welcomed!

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August 21, 2015
I remember being an earnest young mom trying so hard to do everything right and be sure our little darlings were safe.

One dear older lady watched me washing off my toddler and every surface around her. If our little girl dropped a toy I'd snatch it up and wash it before giving it back to her.

This sweet older friend said, "Aw Honey, don't worry about a little dirt. We all eat a bushel of dirt before we die, anyhow."

I stared at her in shock, wondering if she was kidding.

She wasn't.

Because I was young and insecure–and informed!–I assumed she simply didn't know better, so I paid no attention. The washing and wiping continued.

The "experts" are agreeing with her

After years of advising us to use not only soap and water, but sanitizers and wipes so we can be super-clean, now they're saying, "Well, maybe not."

The new thinking is that all that washing and sanitizing is part of the reason we have super-germs.

Put another way, ever-present "normal" germs got wiped away. Bacteria that survived mutated and got stronger.

What we have now are "super bugs," resistant to the usual antibiotics, placing both children and adults at greater risk.

"Don't get dirty!" may not be such good advice

Anxious moms don't like little ones to play in the dirt because, well, who knows what's in it?

Here's what WebMD says about kids and dirt:

"The 'hygiene hypotheses' holds that when exposure to parasites, bacteria, and viruses is limited early in life, children face a greater chance of having allergies, asthma, and other autoimmune diseases during adulthood.

". . . Just as a baby's brain needs stimulation, input, and interaction to develop normally, the young immune system is strengthened by exposure to everyday germs so that it can learn, adapt, and regulate itself, notes Thom McDade, PhD, associate professor and director of the Laboratory for Human Biology Research at Northwestern University."

In a recent study they found that children who were around animals and who had more cases of diarrhea before they were two years old had less incidence of inflammation in their bodies as they grew into adulthood.

That's important because now they know inflammation links to many chronic adult illnesses such as diabetes, heart disease and Alzheimer's.

McDade goes on to say, "Microbial exposures early in life may be important . . . to keep inflammation in check in adulthood."

Out of love and good intentions we've been trying to raise our kids in germ-free environments. Who would have guessed we may be depriving them of the opportunity to build a strong immune system for life?

Much like my long-ago older friend, Professor McDade advocates common sense: "You don't have to wash or sanitize everything."

Here's my simple conclusion

God created the earth and everything in it. Obviously, that includes the dirt under our feet.

God makes us one-of-a-kind and gifts human beings with the ability to think, giving some an affinity for science and medicine.

Nothing surprises our loving God, because the Bible tells us He is all-knowing. Period. He knows everything that is to come and exactly what mankind will need to handle it.

That means you and I can say with the writer of Psalm 121:7:

The LORD will keep you from all harm– he will watch over your life;

So relax, dear friend. God's got it all covered.

(Besides, we'll eat a bushel of dirt before we die.)

Lovingly,

Lenore

Moms, don’t be afraid of dirt!

March 12, 2015
You might be in for a surprise next time you visit your pediatrician's office.

When the doctor asks how your child is eating and sleeping, you'll probably hear another question, "Are you reading aloud to your youngster every day?"

That's because the American Academy of Pediatrics just issued a new policy statement. It says books are like medicine and pediatricians should prescribe their daily use.

Why? Books are important in building up the brains of very young children.

(If your kids are older, keep reading.)

Pediatricians will be emphasizing how important it is to read aloud every day, even to infants. The docs say keep it up at least until your children enter kindergarten because many studies prove reading pays lifelong health benefits.

LeVar Burton chimes in

He's been the host of PBS's Reading Rainbow for 26 years. He and his partner recently developed the program as a tablet app and it's been downloaded over a million times. As you'd guess, LeVar is a big supporter of reading to kids.

In a July 6, 2014, interview in Parade, he notes that Americans read far less for pleasure than they did in 1983. That's when Reading Rainbow got started.

The reporter asked him whether older children need to keep reading during summer vacation. He answered, "There's a critical window where a child either becomes a reader or not–for life. Between the ages of 7 and 9 is when that decision is made.

"Parents ask me, 'How can I get my kid to read?' I say, How much time do you spend reading in front of your kid?"

Le Var stresses the importance of having books around your house. He also recommends families have a weekly night when TVs and gadgets stay turned off and it's family reading night.

That's leading by example.

More is caught than taught.

When our children see us reading and know we enjoy it, they understand that reading matters and it's for all of life.

Make summer vacation count

Studies show kids who don't read during summer vacation lose ground in their reading ability. Just 20 minutes a day can keep them up to speed. What to do? Be creative. For instance:

Set up a reading contest, with prizes. Make the prize something your kids really want, something you know they're dreaming of. Make wall charts where each child can note books read.

Patronize your local public library. Many libraries now have lending libraries for Kindle editions, too.

Take your kids shopping for books of their own. Cut costs by patronizing discount stores or used book stores. Provide a small bookcase for their library, or at least a pair of bookends.

Let your children read books above their grade level. It's a great way to develop language skills. They'll learn to figure out meanings of unfamiliar words from the context.

Reading to and with our children is one of those things in family life that seem small at the time. But it pays off big-time in benefits for children and happy memories.

I know it's true because I grew up with reading parents. As a kid I read everything I could get my hands on and still do. Our four girls loved owning books and walking out of the library with their own pile of books. It paid off well in their reading and spelling proficiency.

Warmly,

Lenore

To read the article in Parade and get LeVar Burton's Summer Reads, click this link: http://parade.condenast.com/311768/merylgordon/levar-burtons-reading-revolution/

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July 7, 2014
The only time we know how to raise children perfectly is before we have any.

Why wouldn't that be true? God creates each child to be one-of-a-kind, whether our children come to us by birth, by adoption, or because we marry a man who already is a dad.

That plunges us into a lifelong process of stretching. Growing. Learning.

We soon discover that being a mom means whatever else we may be involved in, our children remain constantly in our minds and in our hearts.

Being a mom takes all we have and then some

When our four daughters were growing up I loved them and every bit of our life, but I often felt up to my eyeballs in responsibilities.

I never once wanted to quit, but I longed to find a better way.

About that time God sent an older friend who shared her philosophy of mothering: "A mother's job is to work herself out of a job–long before her children leave home."

That "radical" thought made sense to me

Along with feeding, clothing and teaching our children, we moms are to prepare them for life. We hear all the time that life is tough, even for kids. Away from us they're on their own, whether it's at child care or in school.

When we help them develop inner strength we're living out the Golden Rule:

[Jesus said] "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

I can't think of a more loving and lasting gift we can give our children, can you?

My husband and I decided to borrow my wise friend's principles of parenting. Before long we noticed the change in our family. It seemed we all liked each other more–and ourselves, too. Over the years we watched our daughters grew into strong adults.

Those years taught me and became background for my latest book Godly Moms – Strength from the Inside Out

This collection of short pieces can be read in snatches of time. Here's one to hang onto when you're feeling stressed.

—————————————-

MADE FOR EACH OTHER

Your family is no accident. God gave you to each other.

Each child who calls you "Mom" was created just for you.

God placed you together because you need each other.

Let those sentences sink deep into your heart and your mind.

This is true even when you have conflicts and diffficulties. Even if you are as different as plums and peanut butter. Even though it seems you always say or do the wrong thing with one of your children.

Your Designer Kids need you, not the Ms. Flawless Mom who lives on the corner.

And vice versa.

You don't need the placid child next door, nor Super Kid across the street. You need that one who most often baffles you or challenges you.

God tailor-makes our children to stretch us.

To teach us.

To grow us.

Mothering opens our minds and strips away old, comfortable illusions about life.

And about ourselves.

Day after day, we're forced to cope. As we do, we may discover strengths we didn't know we had.

Weaknesses too.

No mom would label this process easy or comfortable. Growing pains never are.

When you feel overwhelmed, reassure yourself with what you know. God put together the pieces of your family jigsaw puzzle according to His plan.

It is a good one.

So walk on, trust Jesus, and be at peace.

Like your kids, you're in the process of becoming. Your heart will never shrink back to its original size.

[The Lord says,] "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." —Jeremiah 1:5a

(Excerpted from Godly Moms – Strength from the Inside Out, published by Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis.)

Moms, if you feel in over your head, take heart. Every day you leave footprints on tomorrow.

Blessings and love,

Lenore

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May 9, 2014
Did you ever notice how many people talk about even very young children as if they were miniature adults? It seems to me they confer upon youngsters way more self-control, maturity and judgment than kids are capable of at those ages.

Well-meaning parents do it, too. No doubt you've heard someone ask a little one, "What shall we have for lunch today?"

Lots of kids would be ready to shout, "Popsicles!" or "Gummi-Bears and M&Ms!"

Then Mommy might answer, "But, Honey, you know we couldn't have that for lunch. That wouldn't be healthy!"

Any reasonable child would be thinking, So why did you ask me if it doesn't matter what I say?

Good point

We do ask without really intending to take a child's answer seriously.

Sometimes our questions put the child a decision-making position that belongs to the parent. I remember the earnest young working mom I talked to before school started. She and her husband were going on a cruise, which would end just past the beginning date of school in her area. The problem was that "Timmy," her oldest child, was enrolled in kindergarten and it would be underway before she returned.

"So I just gave Timmy the choice," she said. "Did he want to wait for Mommy to come back and take him, so we could go into the school together and I could meet the teacher with him? Or did he want to go on his own, without Mommy? I told him if he waits, he'll miss out on lots of important stuff, like meeting other kids.

"I'm glad he decided to wait, so I can go with him on his first day, after all.

"But it is his choice. After all, Timmy is five years old. That's old enough to make decisions about his own life."

Do you agree?

It seems to me that decision belonged to the parents, not their five-year-old. He simply hasn't lived long enough to know.

That's not to say children should never have a voice. We give our kids a lifetime gift when we allow them to make age-appropriate choices. Little by little we increase the number of choices they get to make. By the way, that includes letting them live with the consequences (unless that would mean actual harm to them.) Always, we keep a watchful, protective eye–without hovering.

All this helps them learn and grow into strong young individuals who can manage on their own. And isn't that our goal as parents?

We need self-honesty, too

I suspect that young mom wanted to be missed and needed, but right then her longing for a vacation outweighed the beginning of kindergarten.

We're all wired the same way. We tend to think of our desires first. Being a parent keeps us shoving aside our wants and putting our kids first, but let's face it, we get weary. Growth is good, but sometimes it's not much fun.

Sooo we cut ourselves some slack. We try not to ask our children questions unless we plan to take their answers seriously.

We let our kids be kids.

Through their growth–and ours–we keep on encouraging, keep on loving.

As the writer of 1 Peter said in chapter 4, verse 8 (NIV):

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Love,

Lenore

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March 14, 2014
Sometimes a chance conversation teaches us a lot. Like the day a friend talked about her childhood.

"Our family was poor when I was growing up," she said, "but I never knew it.

"I remember the year Dad was out of work. Mom suddenly announced she was really tired of fixing turkey every Thanksgiving and announced our First Annual Rice and Beans Festival.

"We kids made silly paper hats out of grocery bags. Mom dug up some old candles and sent us out to pick up pretty leaves to decorate the table. Before we ate we went around the table and each of us, even my bratty brother, said our own thank-you prayer.

"Guess we kids forgot we didn't much like rice and beans because we stuffed ourselves. After dinner we had a contest to see how many blessings we could name, then played games.

"We all still talk of that as the best Thanksgiving ever.

"Friday nights were special, too. We always had popcorn and Kool-Aid. Then we'd sit around and watch TV together or play games. I know now that's all we could afford, but as a child it felt like a party every week.

"Whenever the power went out, Dad would clap his hands and say, 'Let's celebrate!'

"He'd light candles while Mom made peanut butter sandwiches. Then he'd spread out an old blanket and we'd sit in a circle, like around a campfire. We'd sing camp songs and one of us would make up a funny story, then the next one in the circle would have to keep it going.

"We had so many good times, so much laughing–small wonder I thought we must be rich. My parents simply knew how to make the most of every little thing.

"I hate to admit it, but my husband and I and our kids have a lot more stuff now than my parents ever did and we never celebrate any of it."

+++++++

That conversation stayed in my mind for a long time. Obviously, her parents were super-gifted with a thankful spirit. They have a lot to teach . . . me.

A lovely old hymn speaks truth to my heart. How about yours?

For The Beauty Of The Earth

For the beauty of the earth,

For the beauty of the skies,

For the love which from our birth

Over and around us lies,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our grateful hymn of praise.

For the beauty of each hour

Of the day and of the night,

Hill and vale, and tree and flower,

Sun and moon and stars of light,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our grateful hymn of praise.

For the joy of human love,

Brother, sister, parent, child,

Friends on earth, and friends above,

Pleasures pure and undefiled,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our grateful hymn of praise.

Blessings to you, my friend, at Thanksgiving and every day,

Lenore

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November 21, 2013
You probably heard about the Utah coach who suspended his entire football team a week before their big homecoming game.

Coach Matt Labrum had known players were being disciplined for being disrespectful and skipping classes. When some were accused of cyberbullying, it was the last straw.

He decided his Union High team needed a wake-up call.

Labrum told all 80 players they were suspended and to turn in their jerseys. The new emphasis would be on building character and only those who earned the privilege to play would make the team.

He describes it as "an emotional moment on all sides."

Coach Labrum told the Deseret News, "We need to focus on some other things that are more important than winning a football game."

The players got the message. The next day, Saturday, at 7 a.m., all players turned up at Roosevelt Union High, as directed. Labrum explained that to earn their way back they'd need to perform community service. Practice hours would be devoted to character classes.

Right away the players dug in, cleaning up streets, pulling weeds and volunteering at local senior centers. At Monday's character class players were instructed to list their personal character weaknesses–and did.

Several said they now realize it's a privilege to wear their uniforms and represent their school. Senior running back Gavin Nielsen said, "This helped me realize, it's not all about football."

Thumbs up for parents and the community for supporting the coach. And yes, the team will play in that homecoming game.

Like a wise parent, Coach Labrum provided "tough love" along with tender love

Real life is more than football, too. More than winning awards. More than appearance or talent or cleverness or being an honor student. More than getting into the "best" colleges or making a lot of money.

Parents brag about these things, but they're not what matter most.

Otherwise we wouldn't see a steady news parade of individuals with "all the advantages" who are a mess, living out empty lives.

How do we help our kids develop right attitudes?

It starts with helping our kids grow strong from the inside out. Strong enough to make it through life even when they're away from us.

Strong enough to do the right thing, even when everyone else is doing wrong.

It takes loving them with our whole hearts. That's the easy part. The hard part is setting clear limits–and enforcing them. Every time.

Keeping that balance often feels like trying to walk a tightrope and know we need help. We'll find it if we ask. No fancy words needed. A simple, "Help me, Lord, please," is quite enough.

The sooner we start, the better. If we follow through every time, our kids soon figure out Mommy means business and they may as well obey the first time.

Finding our way through

Our call as moms is to help our children grow into people ready to live without us. That often feels like two steps forward and one step back.

It's not all about us.

A solid base of faith and being involved in a strong church which teaches Bible Truth can make all the difference. Here we'll make friends among people who share our values. So will our kids.

Children who know Jesus loves them feel more secure in a harsh world. Knowing their Best Friend is always with them is way better than a cuddly teddy bear.

As youngsters grow into adolescence hanging with Christian kids who support them in making right choices can aid our teens in staying on-track.

The Bottom Line

Being a parent takes all we have and then some. We walk in faith and pray every step of the way.

I used to think that meant I was weak.

Now I know it's exactly the right position to be in.

Lovingly,

Lenore

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September 27, 2013
When sweet, wholesome Hannah Montana becomes Miley Cyrus, what's a mother to do?

If you've been anywhere near a TV or your computer, you couldn't escape seeing shots of Miley Cyrus' performance at the MTV awards show. By all reports it was the opposite of sweet and wholesome.

For years hordes of young girls adored squeaky clean Hannah Montana and so did their moms. So when squealing girls clamored for Hannah Montana lunch boxes and T shirts and all manner of clothing items and accessories moms and dads gladly shelled out hard-earned cash.

What happened, anyway?

First, Miley Cyrus is not the first Hollywood type to disappoint and I'm pretty sure she won't be the last. She craved attention and she got it.

Second, actors act, remember? Hannah Montana was a character created by script writers and carefully maintained by the "Hannah Montana Industry."

Since we can't ignore this, why not seize upon it?

Instead of panic, why not use this for good?

Assume your kids have seen Miley's MTV performance, or at least bits of it, even if they haven't mentioned it.

Remind them that most of what we watch on-screen is acting, or at least, people reading from a script using a teleprompter.

Anyone who ever watched a filming knows contestants are instructed to be entertaining that is, loud. Even audience members clap and cheer when told to.

From now on your kids will be less gullible viewers of TV and movies. That's a good thing.

Star role models have only temporary clout

Researchers frequently interview teenagers and college students, asking who in their lives has been their greatest and most lasting influence.

Results never vary. By an overwhelming majority young people name their mothers and/or their fathers.

Let this sink in deep: You are your children's role model. For life.

Even if they argue with you. Even when they seem to reject everything you say to them. Even though they tell you they can't wait to leave home.

Sometimes that's hard to remember when our child wanders off on a tangent that may last awhile. Then we remind ourselves the end of their story has not yet been written and keep praying.

Every day we leave footprints on tomorrow

Always, what our kids see us do and hear us say matters more than our careful instructions on how to live and act. (That's true even when our children are grown.)

If we're looking for how-tos, the Apostle Paul always gives good advice. Here's a snippet from Ephesians 4:29 and 32 (NIV.)

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen . . . Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

That's not a bad model for you and me within our own family, is it?

Each family will live it their way and that's okay. God creates one-of-a-kinds, remember?

Learning, too,

Lenore

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September 12, 2013
Twenty-four hour news sounds good, but there seems to be no escape.

The bad always outweighs the good, because every journalist knows that bad news sells.
It becomes the background noise of our life and fear seeps into our subconscious.

Think of the past few months. We can tune out faraway places, but what of the terror that comes closer to home?

Movie-goers get mowed down in a Colorado theatre. School children in Newtown. Every school and college is on high alert, because some lone shooter may be ready to open fire.

Then comes another Boston Marathon and what promised to be life returning to normal, even if just for a day. Then comes more horror. Bombs, killings and a major American City locked down in fear until the remaining shooter is found.

Next a solid, unexciting fertilizer plant suddenly explodes in a quiet town in Texas. The blast kills at least 14 people and injures 200 or more, devastating a large section of West, population 2,500.

That's Life in Twenty-first Century America

Parents fear for their children. Schools are on high alert.

Experts say to proect kids from viewing the violence. Parents ask how to do that when there's nothing else on television and every break carries a "teaser" for the news.

How do we reassure our children when we're quaking inside? Where do we dredge up confidence when we have none left to give?

The real question is, How do we live with this?

I have no answers on my own, but I know where to look.

In the Bible, of course. Hope and comfort thread through it from beginning to end. Take Psalm 121 for example, here from the New American Standard Bible:

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.

The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord willprotect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this day forward.

Let's take our cues from the Word instead of the news

Imagine if we read or spoke those words every morning instead of turning on the news to see what's happening now.

Suppose every night at bedtime we quietly repeated these beautiful words to our children. Before long they'll be speaking them with us. Instead of saying, "Have a good day," we could let this blessing echo in the minds of our families.

The point is if we regularly take in fear, we live out fear. Some of us have internalized this constant low-level anxiety for so long we think it's normal.

It's even worse for children, because they don't understand it and feel even more powerless than adults.

That's not the way we're meant to live.

In case you wonder, yes, I struggle with this, too. I can build a whole scenario on "What if . . . ?"

(I'm a writer, remember?)

Events of the past week remind us again that life holds risks and earthly protection sometimes fails. Our security rests in the One who watches over us and neither slumbers nor sleeps.

So we can live–and sleep–in peace.

Growing along with you and trusting the One who keeps us,

Lenore

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April 23, 2013