Category: Positive outlook

"Life Happens," they say. Catastrophes happen, too.

Fears we stuff down during the day haunt us at 2 a.m. Questions like, If that were true for me, could I handle it?

That's on my mind because of what happened to friends I'll call John and Mary. These two were driving home from vacation on a summer day. No speeding. No alcohol or drugs. Suddenly their car spun out of control on a curve and slammed into a highway guard-rail. Most of the impact was on the right-front corner of their new SUV.

Mary's side.

John walked away. Mary was helicoptered to the nearest trauma center. Doctors could not repair her mangled legs and amputated both of them below the knee.

Mary's life will never be the same. Neither will John's.

Like so many other friends I'm praying God's healing and comfort. Courage, too, for both of them, every day.

Courageous people seldom see themselves as heroes

For another wonderful couple I know, let's call them Jim and Jenny, this scenario is familiar territory. When she was a young mother Jenny contracted a type of flesh-eating bacteria.

Doctors gave them a choice: Her legs or her life. They chose life.

Surgeons severed her legs well above the infected area, up to her knees. Since then Jenny's prosthetic legs and her walker have been her best buddies. Together this young couple coped, reared their children and made a warm, loving family life.

When asked individually how they got through it, each one said something like, "Well, we knew God wouldn't give us more than we could handle. So we just prayed and kept going."

Tragedy strips away pretenses

After years of happy marriage, Mary and John face the same kind of challenges as they adjust to this new reality. John reports that Mary already is receiving physical therapy. She already can transfer herself from the bed to a wheelchair and will be fitted with prosthetics. After transfer to a long-term rehab facility in another city she's amazing therapists. They predict she'll be walking and driving within six months.

John thanked friends for their support and prayers, then closes his update with this sentence:

"Our lives have changed but we will move forward doing what we want to do in a different way."

When everything else falls away, it's what's inside that counts

Jesus talks about that in Luke 6:45:

Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

My friends have an inner reserve on which they draw.

If we continually put the Good Stuff in it's like "filling our tanks," a reserve of courage beyond our own. Then we'll be ready for every day, whatever it brings.

I've found it helpful to underline Bible verses that speak to my heart so I can find them more easily. Verses like these remind me I'm not alone.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. —2 Corinthians 4:7-9

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. –Isaiah 41:10

As you read your Bible mark verses you love. Think of them as your internal armor (Ephesians 6:10-18.)

Then when the what ifs come in the night, repeat them and let them balm away your fears. Peace, be still.

Love,

Lenore

When the bottom drops out of life, how can we go on?

July 14, 2012
Sometimes problems crowd in on us, don't they? That makes it a good time to remind ourselves about a few of the individuals who actually faced the big hurdles.

You probably know of Joni Eareckson Tada, who as a teenager was paralyzed from the neck down in 1967 when she dove into a too-shallow lake and broke her neck. During her initial bout with depression she found a deeper faith in God and also a new calling. She speaks to groups, does television interviews, has authored fourteen books and is a fine artist. God has used her to bless countless people with or without physical challenges. (Google her name to learn about the organization she founded, Joni & Friends, a resource and advocacy organization in the disability community.)

History is full of overcomers who chose to keep going instead of giving up. One man, raised in extremely humble circumstances, became a storekeeper and went broke. After that he ran for office and lost election after election. We know that "failure" as Abraham Lincoln.

How about the student labeled "mediocre" in chemistry, whom we know as Louis Pasteur, the scientist?

Or a boy called "too stupid to learn," who went on to develop the theory of general relativity, effecting a revolution in physics. Albert Einstein became known as the father of modern physics and was one of the most prolific minds in human history.

Then there's the boy called dull and hopeless, who flunked the sixth grade, the one we know as Winston Churchill.

Tell a youngster who loves to sketch and draw that he has no talent. He surprises everyone by growing up to become famous as Walt Disney.

Take a couple who survived a Nazi concentration camp and feel their pain when he is paralyzed from the waist down at age four. They could not know their boy would grow up to become internationally acclaimed concert violinist, Itzhak Perlman, who consistently plays to sellout crowds.

Could a person born with cerebral palsy who never managed to speak clearly ecome a minister and a much-in-demand public speaker? Ask David Ring, who speaks to over 100,000 people every year at conventions, in churches and at gatherings. His recurrent line is, "What's your problem?" (Google his name if you want to know more about him and hear the details of his story.)

I read a list like this and ask myself, "What's your problem?"

Suddenly everyday frustrations shrink to their proper place.

After all, peace does not come from problem-free living. Once again the Apostle Paul says it best, in Philippians 4:7:

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Here's to joy-in-the-midst,

Lenore

Here’s proof that labels and diagnoses need not define a life

July 26, 2011
Around this time of year, as we look at our To Do lists, I expect some of us long for a "shot of Christmas," to get us energized.

I don't have a magic potion, but this YouTube should do the trick. You may have seen it, but if you take time once again, I promise you'll find yourself smiling by the end.

Are you smiling?

Some of us have been hearing or singing Handel's Messiah for years, especially Hallelujah. Not so many know the story of how Handel came to write this glorious music.

Picture the scene. It is the summer of 1741, in a small house in London. Discouraged and miserably in debt, 56 year-old George Fredric Handel considered himself something of a failure. Not long before he had given what he thought of as his farewell concert. Then a friend passed on a libretto based on the life of Christ. Its writer hoped someone could write music to go with his script, all of it quoted from The King James Bible.

Handel, a strong believer in Christ, read it through and was deeply moved. So on August 22nd, he set to work composing. After that no one saw him except the servant who faithfully brought him food, then every day removed the untouched tray.

One day the servant opened the door to find his employer with tears streaming down his face. Handel said, "I did think I did see all Heaven before me, and the great God Himself."

George Frederic Handel uttered those words just after completing the movement that ever after has been known around the world as the Hallelujah Chorus.

He wrote the entire work in an amazing 24 days. In that short span of time Handel not only personally inked each note of the four-part vocal score, but also the music and every instrumental part for the orchestra. (If you've sung the Messiah, you know just the choral arrangement plus piano accompaniment runs to more than 250 pages.) Whether we call it genius or divine inspiration, for more than two centuries this piece of music has been performed all over the world.

Handel died April 14, 1759, eight days after his final performance where he conducted his mansterpiece, Messiah. If you visit Westminster Abbey in London, look for his statue. He's shown holding the manuscript for the solo that opens part three of Messiah, "I know that my Redeemer liveth."

It seems to me we can draw some lessons for ourselves. At the time, Handel would have been considered elderly and people around him considered him finished. So did he. It seems he never said, "Well, I can't do that because . . ." Maybe we, too, need to set aside our labels and our familiar thinking and step out in faith. Otherwise, who knows? We might miss out on doing something great.

As for getting in the mood for Christmas, I know what I need to do. I need to take my eyes off how much I have to do and focus on what Christmas really means. The Joy-Giver is just as capable of giving meaning and joy to our work as He was back in Handel's time. Sure, our "tune" may be small, but the world around us needs to hear it. So let's smile and give thanks, then go for it!

Comments?

Here's to letting our JOY show in this most wonderful time of the year,

Lenore

Need an injection of Christmas spirit? Find it here . . .

November 30, 2010
Another Thanksgiving Day is upon us. I love it that every time we say the name
of this holiday it reminds us of what it's all about: giving thanks.

Maybe some of us don't feel much like giving thanks right now. Maybe we're slogging through a rough patch that shows no sign of smoothing out. Every day starts and ends with one thought, one prayer: Please let this be over–soon!

Even if things are good in our lives, probably most of us can remember a time when we floundered and fretted. When that's where we are and life feels empty, how are we supposed to feel thankful?

All I can do is tell you what helps me when I find myself walking that long, lonesome road.

That's when I hang on to what I know by faith and by experience: God is still God and His Word is still true. Even if I feel abandoned, the Bible over and over says He loves me. What's more, He doesn't love me because of my shining faith and my perfect life, only because I believe in Jesus.

   [Jesus said] "No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me     and have believed that I came from God."              –John 21:27                                                                                                                                                                                       -Then I search out Bible verses that reassure me. Sometimes I write them down and keep them with me so I can repeat them over and over to myself. Like this one:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger of sword? . . . No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.                                 –Romans 8:35, 37-39

When I feel weak and overwhelmed this verse reminds me I can draw on power beyond my own:

[The Apostle Paul says] Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."                                                                               –2 Corinthians 12:9

When we're feeling down it's easy to lose hope for the future, isn't it? That's when I go to this promise:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."                                                                                 –Jeremiah 29:11

As for what lies beyond, here's the greatest promise of all:

[Jesus says] "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son in to the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."    –John 3:16-17

So, it's Thanksgiving. Time for officially thanking the Giver. I forget sometimes that "ordinary" things are a blessing. Like being able to breathe in and out. Like eyes that work. Like the ability to call up happy memories. It took me way too long but I've learned life feels, um, happier when I remember to thank Him every day.

Each of the Bible verses I've quoted is underlined in my Bible. It took me way too many years before I picked up a pen and started underlining, but it has blessed my life. Countless times I've opened my old NIV and gone from one underlined verse to the next. Every time I feel my spirits lift.

Be wiser than I was and start now. Find Bible verses that speak to your heart and your spirit and mark them. Think through how they apply to you and your life. Keep them handy to pass on to someone who's hurting.

By the way, any time you feel alone, think of this verse and the word picture it paints. This is how God feels about you and me:

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.                                    –Zephaniah 3:17

Imagine! Now there's a reason to give thanks . . .

Here's to a JOY-filled Thanks-giving day, every day,

Lenore

P. S. I'm thankful for you, my friend, for taking time to read my words.

Thanks-living any day of the year, even in tough times

November 24, 2010
Maybe that sounds silly, but I'm guessing we all do it.

How often do we fall into bed exhausted, wondering where the day went? It's as if we went through the past 24 hours on autopilot. We flip over a new calendar page and try to remember what we did during the thirty days now past.

Someone said it well, "Life is not a dress rehearsal."

Each of us gets only one take on today.

Even though we're breathing in and out, we can be oblivious, completely wrapped up in our thoughts, tied up on the computer or watching television.

I plead guilty. How about you?

Or we tune out the people in our lives. Parents scold teenagers because they can be in the same room but text each other rather than talking. Grownups do the same thing, but we don't use a keyboard. We simply switch off our minds and look past each other.

Even in marriage we can run on parallel tracks, each of us concentrating on what interests us, blind to each other's concerns. That can feel achingly lonely, as if we simply wave at each other as we pass in the hall.

Then there's multitasking. Busy people assume we can multitask and get more done. Researchers tell us that because we're not focused we accomplish less. Our brains bop back and forth between tasks, never giving full attention to either one. That leads to mindless errors for, but . . . let's not talk about that.

So what's the answer?

For me, once again I'm reminding myself that this day is the one I'm living

To be precise, I only live this one minute, then the next. Apparently, I like the way Psalm 90:12 reads in the New Living Translation:

Teach us to make the most of our time, so that we may grow in wisdom.

Life is too precious to miss! So once again I recommit to paying attention and making the most of my time.

Maybe this time I won't forget.

Here's to being present while we're present,

Lenore

Question for you: Do you struggle with this? Or have you overcome it? Then tell us how! Just click on the word, "Comments," at the end and follow directions.

Let’s not go A.W.O.L. from our lives

August 14, 2010
Even non-tennis players found the news from Wimbledon captivating. Two players, one American, one from the Netherlands, hang on for eleven hours and five minutes and make the history books for the longest tennis match ever. Oh, the cheers! Oh, the glowing forecasts of the winner's meteoric rise to the ranks of tennis greats!

Fast forward to the next day, when the winner, John Isner, plays another match. This one he loses, after just one hour and fourteen minutes.

This is what stunning defeat at Wimbledon looks like.

This is what losing feels like. Anywhere. At any age.

I think there's a BIG message here, for us as individuals and also for us as moms and dads.

Last one first. Lots of us parents tell our kids over and over that they're winners. It's like the carrot held in front of the donkey. We warn them if they don't work hard enough or practice long enough they might (oh, horrors!) not come in first and they wouldn't want to be a loser, would they?

That sounds like they will be either/or, doesn't it? Sure, somebody wins the race or the tennis match or gets the highest score … this time.

On the tennis court, in the classroom and in all of life, sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. Sometimes we feel on top of the world and sometimes we're scraping bottom.

We do our kids a big favor when we help them learn to handle losing gracefully. Of course, we rave when they win. Do we cheer with as much gusto when they do their best and come in second? Or fifth? Or when they don't make the team or win the scholarship?

That's important, because we parents set the tone for how our children see themselves. And what we want more than anything is for our kids to know we love them for themselves, whether they win or lose, isn't it?

The other way we help them is when we handle their losses (and our own) well and role-model being a good sport. We stay calm when the umpire gives a bad call. We don't deny the pain of losing, even as we comfort our children with love and encouragement. But then we let it go.

From this side of rearing children I understand way better that the small things turn out to be the big things. All those everyday incidents and our offhand remarks add up. The youngster who learns to stay positive grows into the young adult who can handle life's ups and downs without being crushed. We parents play a big part in that.

I'll bet you, too, know adults who fall apart every time things don't go their way. They're not much fun to be around, are they? My grandmother had no patience with that. She'd seen her share of hard times and she would say, "Oh, for Pete's sake. You're still breathing, aren't you? So put today behind you and go on. Tomorrow's another day."

That's not a bad way to look at life, is it? Not for any of us. Grandma's old wisdom still makes sense. As long as we're breathing, there's always another day.

And for John Isner, there's always another Wimbledon.

Blessings,

Lenore

Any kind of loss can knock us flat. Job loss, separation or divorce, the death of a loved one, the end of a friendship or relationship, even moving from one place to another.

The life lesson from Wimbledon: Winning isn’t forever, but cheer up, neither is losing

June 28, 2010
Isn't it easy to look at someone else's life and think they have it easy?

You've heard that old saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."

Here's what never gets said, "Yes, but you still have to mow it."

I confess. Early on, I spent a lot of time looking around at other people's lives and thinking, "If only … ."

Maybe you're familiar with that swamp, the one filled with, "If only my life were easier. If only I were a better _____ ." Etc.

I could have filled in that blank with at least a dozen ways in which either my life or I could be "better." After awhile I got older and smarter and recognized the obvious. No one lives an "easy" life and no one is perfect. Every one of us deals with stresses and problems and difficulties in relationships.

Some people think daydreaming is harmless and costs nothing. Not true. While we have our heads in the clouds we miss out on the day and the life we actually inhabit.

It's good to stop and now and then and take stock. Try making a list of what's good in your life. Oh, and forget "perfect." Concentrate instead on what's "good."

I discovered it helped to pretend I was someone else, a reporter, perhaps. What would I write about the woman in the mirror and the life she lived?

I used that list as a starting point for giving thanks to the Giver every day or so. By the time I worked my way through that list I'd be adding to it.

You can guess what happened, can't you? That little exercise became a habit, a way of thinking about my life. Each time I read it and thanked God for these blessings, I felt more blessed.

Before long when I realized I was happy. I liked myself better, too.

Did anything change about my life? Nope. Only my perception. And that made all the difference.

Like so many others before me, I learned the truth of Proverbs 23:7, as translated in the King James or Revised Standard Version. Here it is, slightly paraphrased.

As a [woman] thinks in [her] heart, so is [she.]

So, dear reader, here's my challenge for you: Try it for yourself. Then share your findings with the rest of us by using the comments form below.

Blessings and joy,

Lenore

Looking for happiness? Take a fresh look around

May 26, 2010
We see the images and wonder how anyone could survive this. And yet…people did.

You've heard the unbelievable stories. Here are two that especially touched my heart. I think these two people have much to teach you and me.

One is Romel Joesph, a Haitian-born music teacher…who was born blind, or so sight-impaired that he is legally blind.

Imagine yourself pinned beneath rubble for eighteen hours, unable to move, not able even to see. Imagine knowing all along that while you were on the third floor when the earthquake struck, your pregnant wife had been on the first floor and you could not know whether she was alive or dead. (She did not survive.)

Romel Joseph told interviewers how he got through that wrenching time. I caught his story while driving and later looked it up in the N.P.R. archives. Here's the gist of how he survived the horror.

"I knew I could not allow my mind to wander and to keep thinking only about rescue. So I decided to keep a strict schedule, hour by hour. I set aside the first twenty minutes for prayer and meditation," Joseph says. "After that I focused my mind on favorite pieces of music I knew, one at a time. I forced myself to concentrate, note by note, as precisely as if I were directing an orchestra. In effect, that took me to another place in my mind. For that time I did not feel my pain, did not allow myself to wonder whether help would arrive.

"Hour by hour, that's what I did. First the prayer and meditation, then the music. So I not only killed time, but I reminded myself I was not alone. I told myself I was brushing up on my directing skills and I mentally escaped the space where I was."

Romel Joseph is no stranger to tragedy. He founded the New Victorian School in 1991, in Port-au-Prince, to teach music to Haitian children. That school burned to the ground exactly ten years to the day before this earthquake once again leveled the school.

Friends dug him out after eighteen hours lying there with his leg pinned and crushed under concrete. Surgeons also repaired his severely fractured left hand, but they cannot say whether he'll regain full function…and what is a violinist without a left hand that works?

But Joseph plans to rebuild as soon as he can. As he puts it, "I need more than an earthquake to make me stop my work in Haiti!"

I think this man shows us how in the midst of fears and troubles we can deliberately turn our thoughts to other things, to people we love, to happier times and, yes, to God. Our situation may not change, but our ability to cope will.

Another rescued woman in a television interview (couldn't find her story in print) told what enabled her to hang on. She said something like this. "I lost everything except what matters most," she said, holding up her Bible. "I could not move, there in the dark, so I searched my memory and remembered some Psalms. I kept repeating them over and over, especially Psalm 46. God brought me through this, praise be, and here I am."

For thousands in Haiti, this was–and is–the worst of times. Thank God most of us will not be caught in anything like that earthquake. Yet I think these two accounts teach us a lot about surviving our own fears and sorrows without crumbling under the load.

Perhaps you love Psalm 46, too. I often find myself going back to my old, dog-eared Bible, to reread sections I've underlined in the past. Always, that includes these favorite verses of Psalm 46.

Psalm 46

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
   an ever-present help in trouble.

² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
   and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

³ though its waters roar and foam
   and the mountains quake with their surging…

⁵God is within her, she will not fall;

God will help her at break of day…

¹⁰ "Be still, and know that I am God;
   I will be exalted among the nations,
   I will be exalted in the earth."

¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us;
   the God of Jacob is our fortress.
   Selah

God's peace and blessings,

Lenore

Learning from Haiti survivors how to make it through our tough times

January 27, 2010
It's time to put up those new calendars. If you're like me, you're thinking about the year ahead and asking yourself some questions.

How will I fill my time? What will I read? What will I look at?
Who will I hang around with?

That matters. I can't recall who said this, but it's good.

The person you will be five years from now will be determined by the books you read, the television you watch and the people you spend your time with.

A friend loved to remind anyone within hearing, "You gotta put the good stuff in if you want to get the good stuff out."

He thought that saying applied to all of life…and he was right.

You probably know this well-loved summary of how you and I can "put the good stuff in."

Finally, brothers, (and sisters,) whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. –Philippians 4:8

Lots of people make jokes about New Year's resolutions, because we usually fall short. It helps to remind ourselves that the only person who never fails is the one who never tries.

So I resolve to reread Phil. 4:8 frequently and: Think it. Speak it. Live it.

I hesitate to write down my other resolution. You see, I've been working on a book for moms for a very long time. For no good reason, I have delayed sending off queries. This year I will not rest until I find an editor or agent who believes in this book as much as I do and wants to publish it.

What's your resolution? Why not share it, so we can encourage each other? Just keep scrolling to the "Post a Comment" box below and follow directions.)

Friends, I wish you blessings and great JOY in every day of the year ahead!

Lenore

What kind of “stuff” do you plan to put into your days?

December 31, 2009
I saw Santa yesterday, but this one didn't look like the pictures you see. First I saw his decked-out van. If I had the presence of mind to remember that my fancy-schmancy new cell phone has a camera, I could show you what I saw. This will have to do.

Imagine a nondescript old gray work van, elaborately decorated from stem to stern with roping of fresh evergreens. The roping extended down from the roof over the hood, too, plus battery-operated Christmas lights. Small stuffed animals adorned every door handle. On top stood a figure of Santa Claus, maybe eighteen inches tall. After I parked on the other side of the row of cars and faced this marvel, I sat staring in fascination, wondering what and who…

That's when the driver walked up.

As he stuffed papers in the back pocket of his well-worn blue jeans, he smiled, then rubbed his forehead. For that moment I got a good look at the grizzled, fifty-ish man with leathery skin. He stood tall and skinny and wore an old, plaid wool shirt, jeans, a red wool cap with ear-flaps drooping and battered work boots. Then he climbed into his van, slammed the door and threw the truck in reverse. Only then did I understand he was Santa.

That's when I could see that the back of the van was crammed with toys, from top to bottom. They even peeked out from the passenger window side of the van. All I saw through his rear window was packed-in toys. Clearly, this Santa was making a delivery and sooner or later, many kids would be whooping with delight.

Then this morning's Sacramento Bee ran the story of an 82-year old Santa, a woman who watched a television show about the homeless and started knitting. Because of her talking to friends, who talked to their friends, a network of older individuals picked up their needles. Now this Santa can deliver hundreds of hand-knitted caps, scarves and to our local Loaves & Fishes.

Christmas brings out the best in all of us, doesn't it? As individuals and through our churches, we collect food and pack baskets. We reach out through countless charity organizations that bring joy to children and families. Our sensitivity radar picks up and we glimpse needs we were blind to before.

There's a special joy, I think, when we give a gift and don't identify ourselves. Part of the fun is knowing a secret. Sometimes we even hear the recipient(s) speculate about who might have done this. That's when we get to practice keeping a straight face.

Here's the question: Do you know any Santas like this? Or have you ever played this part?go

Why not share that joy with the rest of us? (Just go to "Post a Comment" and follow directions.)

In the midst of the wonderful Christmas bustle, may you feel the Light of Christmas,

Lenore

I saw Santa yesterday, but…

December 10, 2009