"What's your greatest strength? Your greatest weakness?"
That question stumps many of us, at least for awhile.
Professional counselors tell us that most personality traits have two sides, just as coins do.
But there's more to this truth:
Neither our strengths nor our weaknesses are all good or all bad.
I learned this first-hand when a good friend and I agreed to co-chair a women's event.
Everyone admired "Sue" for her faith, her cheerful attitude and her efficiency. (Okay, the truth is we envied her these strengths.) To the rest of us, this lovely woman "had it all together" in every area of her life.
Working with a saint
Sue and I were friends and I liked her a lot, but I secretly felt a bit intimidated and uncomfortable around her. She came as close as anyone I could think of to being a Proverbs 31 woman.
In short, Sue was everything I was not. Everything I wanted to be and kept resolving to be, but never quite achieved.
No wonder I so often viewed her as "right" and myself as "wrong."
Now we two Christian women were to work as a pair. Well, why not? We were adults and we might even be a perfect match, right?
Wrong. We drove each other slightly nuts
Sue wanted to nail down all details four months ahead of time. I considered that way too early and typically responded, “Don’t worry. It will all come together.”
I enjoy last-minute inspirations and the surprises that come when something “works out.”
Master planner Sue found that a foreign concept. She couldn't rest until her multiple lists had every single box checked. Only then could she feel confident the event would go without a hiccup.
After awhile I gave up trying to put her off and adapted to her style of planning. Before long we had planned every detail and lined up people for every task, with months to spare.
Sue's frown lines eased and so did mine. It felt good to have every minute of the event planned, so good I vowed–again–to mend my evil ways.
The great day arrives
We arrived early, both of us certain everything about the big day would go smoothly.
Enter Reality, a.k.a., the usual glitches that accompany any big event.
People who agreed to bring this or that arrived empty-handed. Others who were scheduled to handle various tasks never showed–and they hadn't called with an excuse.
To my great surprise, Sue could not adjust. She froze, except when she sputtered. It was as if she couldn't think how to function and deal with the moment.
I, the last-minute type, quickly came up with a Plan B and found substitutes for people who didn't show. I sent others to quickly purchase what was missing.
That day I simply did what needed to be done, as always, and no big deal. No one seemed to notice anything missing.
Breakthrough!
It sounds strange but that day became a gift to me. For as long as I could remember I had prayed to "be more organized," but never managed it for more than a week or two.
I previously viewed Sue as a sort of poster child for being in control and I admired her.
Now I saw the downside of her more orderly personality. She had to plan and had to stay on schedule or be flummoxed.
I'm the opposite, always ready to interrupt what I'm doing to listen and I'm quick to adapt. That's good, but being easily distracted gets in the way of finishing what I start.
Could my natural approach to life–which I labeled "disorganized" and saw as a weakness–be in its own way a strength?
Every personality type has both strengths and weaknesses
This truth pours balm on marriage and family relationships and can help defuse tensions on the job.
First we pray to see other people and ourselves as we are. That may take awhile, because growing always does.
Eventually we realize that it's okay for them and for us to be who we are.
Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. –Romans 15:7 NIV
Consider it one small step for peace with others–and with ourselves.
God makes us one-of-a-kind, remember?
As usual, the Apostle Paul gives us wise counsel.
In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. … Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. … And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. –Romans 12:6 LNT; Colossians 3:12-14 NIV
Let's not settle for "live and let live." That's too shallow and we miss too much.
May we learn to appreciate the people in our lives and their individual strengths–and extend the same courtesy to ourselves.
Most of all let's rejoice that God made each of us. As we are. For a purpose.
Still learning,
Lenore
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