What does it take to stay married?

A lot of people sincerely believe that staying married runs counter to human nature

Don't fall into that trap.

Think back to how God set up marriage in the beginning, when Adam said Eve was "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." (Genesis 2)

Does that sound like an arrangement meant to last only for awhile?

Building a lifetime marriage starts with first believing–and continuing to believe–that staying married for life is possible.   

This is not "magical thinking," ignoring the difficulties of real life. 

• It's keeping your eyes on your spouse and your day-to-day life together. 
• Focusing on your mutual goal(s)–and letting petty annoyances go.
• Fixing in your mind the picture of the marriage you want to live in.

Then we knew we were lucky–and blessed–to find each other.  

Now we know we are lucky–and blessed–to still have each other.

Over and over our pledge of love for a lifetime bridged us back to feeling close and in love again.

• It's not up to our husband–or wife–to make us happy 
  Despite the stuff of romance novels and movies, our happiness is up to us.

• Making our spouse feel good about who they are costs us nothing except thoughtfulness 
  Besides, isn't that what each of us wants for the one we love? And from the one we love?

• News flash: Males and females think differently 
  This naturally colors the way we view people and situations. Get past "Why can't he … ?" or "Why can't she … ?" and respect each other's right to an individual viewpoint. Only then can you talk over issues without heat. 
• Learning to communicate–and really listen to each other–takes time–but it's worth it 
  Be real and be honest, but also be kind. My husband and I don't always look at life through the same glasses but we came to understand that's a strength. Together we are more than either of us on our own.

• Mutual trust is like gold
  Trust takes a long time to build and can be lost in a careless instant, so guard it carefully. Besides, if we're not on each other's side, who will be?  
  
  
• Relationships thrive on authenticity
  Being one way in public and another at home, whether in words or actions, destroys from the inside. Sarcasm does the same, so resist the temptation to put each other down, even with "humor."

• Simple kindness makes life better for both
  We adjust and make allowances for our friends without getting upset. With friends we easily say, "Oh, you know how he or she is" and let it go. When we learn to do the same for our spouse we bless their lives–and our own.

• Marriage relationships can wither, even die, unless they're nourished
  Keep priorities straight. Except in emergencies or with infants, Mom and Dad's relationship needs to come before The Children. (Kids feel secure because they don't fear their parents might split up.)

• A life built on shared faith in God helps a couple withstand life's storms
  Faith provides a "why" to hang onto and helps because we know we don't have to flounder through life on our own strength. God is love and helps us keep on loving through whatever comes. (Even if we're spiritually single, our faith helps us establish a solid foundation for living.)

Most of the time we get back what we give out

There will be times you feel inadequate or overwhelmed. That's the time to talk to God and to each other and to remember Philippians 4:13: